Wife left me for another man

[Ninja Tactic]

Re: Wife left me for another man

Damn sorry bro... as hard as it is keep your head up

[Rawdeal28]

Re: Wife left me for another man

Seriously I cannot stress enough how important it will be for you to find a good divorce attorney. This is what I do for a living and I'll gladly answer any general questions you have via PM. Your daughter's mean the world to you and I don't want to scare you, but unless you can show unfitness on the part of your wife, if custody becomes an issue Family Court judges almost always give primary physical custody to the mother in divorces (at a rate I would honestly say should be seen as unconstitutional). As such you need to be ready and find a rabid badger of a divorce attorney.

In terms of moving forward, striking first is the best thing to do, meaning you should be the one who files the divorce so that the ball is in your court and you start on offense instead of on defense. At least in Massachusetts Family Court judges hate it when you plead adultery, but I find the statement it makes speaks volumes when it comes to getting custody of your children.

Your biggest advocate here will be your 15 year old daughter. She is old enough that the court will more or less let her decide where she would rather live and coupled with the court's preference to not split up children you can see why she is the key.

LISTEN TO THIS MAN!

and yes ignoring her is a good idea.

yep. Women can do no wrong. It's always someone else's fault. Women can just wake up pissed off over nothing. Then they will look for a reason to justify their feelings. And it's usally the man. And if the man has done no wrong, she will just bring some **** up from the past. BITCHES I tell ya !



I would not be in contact with your wife unless it is necessary. Just ignore her. If she calls, don't answer. Don't answer her texts. I am wondering if your oldest child is old enough to decide which parent to live with? I forgot what age they have to be..

this is why i am never getting married. great post!

[stlstudios189]

Re: Wife left me for another man

Divorce is tough man. I went through it earlier w/o kids. Now with my daughters I can't imagine the pain. Stay strong and besides the way she treated you with all this you deserve better my friend. Stay strong get closer with God and he will carry you through this. Every night I will say a prayer for your daughters to get through this.

[Matt Diesel]

Re: Wife left me for another man

Did you get a lawyer yet holmes? That is the #1 priority right now. Sue now, pray later. Good luck!

[tsalbysp]

Re: Wife left me for another man

Did you get a lawyer yet holmes? That is the #1 priority right now. Sue now, pray later. Good luck!

Oh, America, how I love you so.

[GAMEC0CK2002]

Re: Wife left me for another man

Oh, America, how I love you so.

Ummm. That's the only way for a father to stand a chance in a custody battle for kids. Even if it's obvious the mother isn't the best choice or it's crystal clear her behavior is the reason for the split.

[videlsports]

Re: Wife left me for another man

Gary, I will pray for you in an unbelivable way. God will carry you through. You have unbelivable courage for even posting on this forum about this subject. BUt you are a child of God, and he will always help you. Me and my family will pray for you too. I have been married for 8 years, and have 1 daughter and one on the way. But remember To pray to God and talk to your pastor. Your children need your wisdom and guess what? People here need yours too. Such as myself. Always willing to listen.

[Dice]

Re: Wife left me for another man

Oh wow. I know I'm late and I just started reading this thread. I'm very sorry to hear about your situation.

Since this started on the 9th, I hope you took the advise of MassNole and others echoing his advise on getting a lawyer and going on the offensive immediately. Your daughters should be number one priority and you definitely don't want to loose them over your so-called wife.

And as far as the comments your oldest daughter made about her mother being a whore; even though she's right please let her know that it's not cool to disrespect elders. You cannot let that hatred grow in her because it might blossom into a characteristic in her that you might not like. Teach her to deal with it in a more productive way. I know it's hard on you already but your daughters must handle it in the same manner you are handling it...civilized.

[Hova57]

Re: Wife left me for another man

Oh wow. I know I'm late and I just started reading this thread. I'm very sorry to hear about your situation.

Since this started on the 9th, I hope you took the advise of MassNole and others echoing his advise on getting a lawyer and going on the offensive immediately. Your daughters should be number one priority and you definitely don't want to loose them over your so-called wife.

And as far as the comments your oldest daughter made about her mother being a whore; even though she's right please let her know that it's not cool to disrespect elders. You cannot let that hatred grow in her because it might blossom into a characteristic in her that you might not like. Teach her to deal with it in a more productive way. I know it's hard on you already but your daughters must handle it in the same manner you are handling it...civilized.

i just think its so hard when your kids at the age of adult type thing and societal views. in many circle the daughter was right. that's how she feels that view will be hard to change at this juncture.

[Dice]

Re: Wife left me for another man

i just think its so hard when your kids at the age of adult type thing and societal views. in many circle the daughter was right. that's how she feels that view will be hard to change at this juncture.

The daughter is right. There was no question from me about that. But the strong word she described her mother is resentment and anger towards her mother. Something like this in a child/teenager could manifest into something worst if it's not handled properly. A child calling their mother a whore(no matter what she's done) is not a good way of dealing with an extreme situation.

In the adult world, you just cannot say what the first thing that is on your mind even if it is right. For example, if your working for a person who fires a co-worker you know is a hard worker AND he fired him for no good reason you cannot just outright call him an *******. Even though what he did was an ******* move. You do something like that, then you'd get fired.

The wife in this whole situation has really left the family hanging. The OP was already expressed his feeling of hurt and loss. But I just want him to keep into perspective that his daughters are also going through the hurt and pain as much as he is. And his oldest daughter needs to handle the situation like he's doing. Maybe I missed it BUT not once did he call his ex-wife a vile or vulgar name. Even though it maybe appropriate but he sounds like he's been the better man though this ordeal.

[JBH3]

Re: Wife left me for another man

Late to the thread, and extremely sorry to hear about your crisis.

I'd like to (1) applaud all of the OS members who so graciously posted in support of another member, and (2) applaud the OP for his bravery in posting his personal issues and confiding in his OS community. It's real nice to see everyone interacting in this thread.

[Hova57]

Re: Wife left me for another man

The daughter is right. There was no question from me about that. But the strong word she described her mother is resentment and anger towards her mother. Something like this in a child/teenager could manifest into something worst if it's not handled properly. A child calling their mother a whore(no matter what she's done) is not a good way of dealing with an extreme situation.

In the adult world, you just cannot say what the first thing that is on your mind even if it is right. For example, if your working for a person who fires a co-worker you know is a hard worker AND he fired him for no good reason you cannot just outright call him an *******. Even though what he did was an ******* move. You do something like that, then you'd get fired.

The wife in this whole situation has really left the family hanging. The OP was already expressed his feeling of hurt and loss. But I just want him to keep into perspective that his daughters are also going through the hurt and pain as much as he is. And his oldest daughter needs to handle the situation like he's doing. Maybe I missed it BUT not once did he call his ex-wife a vile or vulgar name. Even though it maybe appropriate but he sounds like he's been the better man though this ordeal.

no i agree with you as an adult you can't just say crazy stuff out of your mouth whether its true or not. i believe its more a matter of being hurt. I know as a dad i have two girls and i wouldn't want them being called that . i don't even like when adults call women that i'm not down with the double standard that is usually associated with that term. as far as the dad he sound like a class act and would never do that and say bad things about his wife. its just hard when it so out of the blue . I hope he stays strong and know that things happen for a reason good or bad. That he can learn from this and become a better and stronger person.

[Registered_Again]

Re: Wife left me for another man

Gary, do you have the Alienation of Affection statute in your state? If so, pursue it...you may have a case.

[longshadow11]

Re: Wife left me for another man

Thanks for all the support. I'm eating again and sleeping a little. My youngest daughter told me I'm her #1 person, her sister is #2, and mom is somewhere around there. My oldest has been great and loves the way I take care of them. She told me last night she hasn't eaten this well in years. I'm buying stuff and cooking it up!

I'm not totally faultless in all this, had I been a better husband maybe things would be different. However, over the past seven years I really tried to show her my love for her.

Things have gotten ugly. My wife has begun telling my oldest lies about me. This was in response to several people telling my daughter and me that the man my wife is marrying is a creep who preyed on high school girls. Too bad there is no proof, but I've heard this from several sources.

I've gone from sheer despair to a lot of anger. We own a big, expensive house which I have to sell due to the payment. My wife was screaming at me the other day because I had not put it on the market yet. She never cleaned and I had to haul off years of ebay and garage sale junk she accumulated. When I told her it needed a lot of cleaning, she told me to hire someone to clean it. I barely have enough money to survive considering she took her paycheck with her to this new life she wants. At this time I am feeling that she is a vile woman and mentally unstable. How can she cheat on me, walk out on her kids, and still be so mean? It's insane how much she has changed.

I hired the best lawyer I could find. My inheritance is gone, but I'm fighting for my girls. I prayed for a couple of weeks on what to do. I believe the message I have received is to fight. I might not win, but I know I'm right. I will have had the girls living with me for 6 weeks by the time we go to court, and my oldest has already said she is living with me. I think I have a good chance of winning. Even if I lose, I can look at myself in the mirror and know I stood up to what I consider a very evil situation.

The support from my community is unreal. People I barely know come up to me and say they're praying for my girls and me. It's pretty cool. People really like the way I'm handling my kids. It is very touching how people are standing against what they see as a cruel, unjust act by my wife and her boyfriend. I hope someday she realizes what she's done. I hope by then I've moved on and found a wonderful new wife.

[cubsfan203]

Re: Wife left me for another man

Glad to hear that you got a lawyer. Good luck, I really hope everything works out for you and your daughters.