I'm posting this because I need to release and share what happened. I'm not looking for attention or anything and I saw the other thread about the guy's dog missing I really hope you find him.
Winston was my dog, he was a british bulldog I got when I was 16. My stepfather got him for me even though my mother wanted nothing to do with a dog and he knew I always like bulldogs. Those old merry melody cartoons are probably what did it. Anyway we snuck some visits to the breeders and eventually brought little winston home and my mom tried to pretend she didn't care or was unimpressed but she melted...as did most people who met him. He really was a member of our family and I loved him with an intensity I didn't think was possible to have for an animal.
Fast-forward to the present and I'm 28, and my buddy was getting close to turning 13. For a bulldog that's about as long as they live. He was super healthy besides some mild arthritis, but he started rapidly declining the past few days up to a week and a half-ago. He was never suffering or in pain, but stopped eating and didn't want to move around much, and was very tired. We took him to the vet and there was nothing they could do short of doing ex-rays and tests that would lead to nothing because he was too old to have any kind of major surgery. So I accepted that he was dying and his end was near...but he still looked at me the same way and came over to my bed so I could put my hand on him like he always has either in the morning or even sometimes in the middle of the night.
Last night he was having trouble moving too much but eventually he was on his way to see me (down some stairs) I heard a thud and ran over to see what was up. He fell, but not too badly because there is a landing a few stairs down. It didn't look good. Something was very wrong with him and I knew it was a heart attack coming. I tried to coach him through it and was holding him in my arms and petting him when his heart stopped beating and he left me. I could tell he was scared and I only can hope my presence made him feel even just a little bit better. I was hopefull until the very end that he'd pull through it and was in tears when I realized all the life was gone from him and I just kept kissing him and petting him.
I know a lot of people won't get this (especially if they have never owned a dog, and a very people-person dog like a bulldog), but I cannot explain into words what it's like to see something you love die in front of you face to face. I guess I'm lucky in a way to have been there with him when he passed and that - this was probably the best way something like dying can occur....it was so intense that my whole day today seems so imaginary and strange. Taking him to the animal hospital was also very surreal and overall sad/negative.
He was very well loved and had a great life and he was so special and I'll miss him forever. I really liked just hanging out with winston and having a beer, watch the game that kind of thing. He always wanted to be around me and I loved it because his presence brought so much happiness to me.
Thanks for reading, I think I just needed to write this to help me kind of deal with what happened.
Winston was my dog, he was a british bulldog I got when I was 16. My stepfather got him for me even though my mother wanted nothing to do with a dog and he knew I always like bulldogs. Those old merry melody cartoons are probably what did it. Anyway we snuck some visits to the breeders and eventually brought little winston home and my mom tried to pretend she didn't care or was unimpressed but she melted...as did most people who met him. He really was a member of our family and I loved him with an intensity I didn't think was possible to have for an animal.
Fast-forward to the present and I'm 28, and my buddy was getting close to turning 13. For a bulldog that's about as long as they live. He was super healthy besides some mild arthritis, but he started rapidly declining the past few days up to a week and a half-ago. He was never suffering or in pain, but stopped eating and didn't want to move around much, and was very tired. We took him to the vet and there was nothing they could do short of doing ex-rays and tests that would lead to nothing because he was too old to have any kind of major surgery. So I accepted that he was dying and his end was near...but he still looked at me the same way and came over to my bed so I could put my hand on him like he always has either in the morning or even sometimes in the middle of the night.
Last night he was having trouble moving too much but eventually he was on his way to see me (down some stairs) I heard a thud and ran over to see what was up. He fell, but not too badly because there is a landing a few stairs down. It didn't look good. Something was very wrong with him and I knew it was a heart attack coming. I tried to coach him through it and was holding him in my arms and petting him when his heart stopped beating and he left me. I could tell he was scared and I only can hope my presence made him feel even just a little bit better. I was hopefull until the very end that he'd pull through it and was in tears when I realized all the life was gone from him and I just kept kissing him and petting him.
I know a lot of people won't get this (especially if they have never owned a dog, and a very people-person dog like a bulldog), but I cannot explain into words what it's like to see something you love die in front of you face to face. I guess I'm lucky in a way to have been there with him when he passed and that - this was probably the best way something like dying can occur....it was so intense that my whole day today seems so imaginary and strange. Taking him to the animal hospital was also very surreal and overall sad/negative.
He was very well loved and had a great life and he was so special and I'll miss him forever. I really liked just hanging out with winston and having a beer, watch the game that kind of thing. He always wanted to be around me and I loved it because his presence brought so much happiness to me.
Thanks for reading, I think I just needed to write this to help me kind of deal with what happened.
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