Does this make me shallow?

[MassNole]

Re: Does this make me shallow?

I personally think you should be attracted to someone in order to be in a long term relationship. I don't think that looks are everything, you also need that mental connection, but you need to be attracted to your significant other. Yes, if you get married and whatnot, over time looks change. Relationships change, but you should still have that spark in the relationship.

Just want to point out my opinion that people who consider physical attraction important (with all the other items) aren't just looking to smash and dash. I personally feel sorry for people who marry someone they're not attracted to, I refuse to settle like that (but that's just me).

I think attraction is something that can grow in time though. Other elements other than physical appearance could compensate and thus make the outer appearance more attractive as well. I sorta see it like the movie Shallow Hal in a way.....

[jeremym480]

Re: Does this make me shallow?

One other thing to mention.... You'll never know how sexually attractive she is until you hit it. Because you never know, her looks maybe a little below standard but, that ***** could be straight fire which can make up for looks a bit. Just a thought.

[av7]

Re: Does this make me shallow?

You're getting two kinds of advice here mainly.

The kind that assumes your thinking long term relationships...

and the others preaching "smash and dash" tactics.

It's up to you decide which is in your future.

I believe that comes from his statement about qualities being "Wifey"

[MassNole]

Re: Does this make me shallow?

One other thing to mention.... You'll never know how sexually attractive she is until you hit it. Because you never know, her looks maybe a little below standard but, that ***** could be straight fire which can make up for looks a bit. Just a thought.

That's what sold me.

[Chizzypoof]

Re: Does this make me shallow?

If there is no fire then there is no need to pursue her physically. Just go out with her to hang out with her. I have made a mistake of hooking up with this girl that I had no real physical attraction to. Blame it in the alcohol. It turned into something I just kept looking for a way out of. My opinion, you don't need that. And don't lead that girl on as if you like her in that way.

If anything in you changes then cool. But you are not shallow for this at all. For me I got to have that spark to start anything.

[Pared]

Re: Does this make me shallow?

OK you want good advice I am going to give you good advice.

*backs out of thread*

[Scottdau]

Re: Does this make me shallow?

*backs out of thread*

lol it is good advice. Looks are very important, but only for that start of a relationship. Once you get to know the person looks kinda take a back seat. At least in my opinion it does.

[Rawdeal28]

Re: Does this make me shallow?

lol it is good advice. Looks are very important, but only for that start of a relationship. Once you get to know the person looks kinda take a back seat. At least in my opinion it does.

as a man looks never take a backseat. dont fool yourself, we are not talking about what a woman is attracted to or looking for (looks is not the top priority on ****** list for a man she wants to marry) in this case.

every man wants and needs to be attracted to woman he wants to be with long term. men are visual creatures. if he is not attracted to her now going out with her wont help.

[Trevytrev11]

Re: Does this make me shallow?

as a man looks never take a backseat. dont fool yourself, we are not talking about what a woman is attracted to or looking for (looks is not the top priority on ****** list for a man she wants to marry) in this case.

every man wants and needs to be attracted to woman he wants to be with long term. men are visual creatures. if he is not attracted to her now going out with her wont help.

I agree. You still want to be able to roll over in the morning and be impressed by what you see as time passes by. You still want to take that double take when she's undressing/showering, etc and you happen to pass by. That desire leads to passion. If our with someone you are not attracted to, I imagine your sex life is going to suck. Even if they are an absolute animal in the sack, it's not going to matter if you don't want to be with them and don't desire them. This may not be as important in the beginning when everything is new and exciting and your happy just to get some tail, but if your talking about a potential "wife" and someone you are going to be with for a long time, your sex life will go to the crapper if you are not attracted to them in that way.

[JBH3]

Re: Does this make me shallow?

A strong physical connection can be just as, if not more important than a strong mental one. One can only imagine that should you pursue a relationship w/ someone that you're not physically attracted to, and perhaps your physical desires at one point give way and you cheat on her then you've just broken someone's heart. Not fair if you know upfront that you're not attracted to her, and would eventually do this...

One thing to remember is that beauty will eventually fade, so with that, finding someone who can enlighten you w/ their personality is just as important as beauty...at least in the long run.

Follow your heart.

[cubsfan203]

Re: Does this make me shallow?

I don't think it makes you shallow.

I do think that you should at least go on a date though, because I know for me that over time some girls I don't find myself attracted to at first get better and better looking.

[mgoblue]

Re: Does this make me shallow?

I think attraction is something that can grow in time though. Other elements other than physical appearance could compensate and thus make the outer appearance more attractive as well. I sorta see it like the movie Shallow Hal in a way.....

I'm not totally convinced of this, I guess it just depends on the situation. I don't care how cool some woman is, if she's 600 lbs it's not gonna work for me. I'd find that disgusting and have no desire to every have sex with her.

I guess it is possible if some woman is in your general "acceptable" range, but for some reason you're not feeling the click...I just don't think magically you'll totally want to have sex with a 500 lb woman if you don't now.

[Trevytrev11]

Re: Does this make me shallow?

I'm not totally convinced of this, I guess it just depends on the situation. I don't care how cool some woman is, if she's 600 lbs it's not gonna work for me. I'd find that disgusting and have no desire to every have sex with her.

I guess it is possible if some woman is in your general "acceptable" range, but for some reason you're not feeling the click...I just don't think magically you'll totally want to have sex with a 500 lb woman if you don't now.

I don't think you can turn a 1 into a 10 regardless of how well you connect, but if a chick is a 6 on looks and she turns out to be a 10+ in the personality department, that 6 might be able to jump to a 7 or 8 overall. Just as a chick that is an absolute stunner of a 10, who turns out to be just a shallow, self centered biatch, can drop down quite a bit once you get to know her. She can turn from someone you used to admire and drool over to someone you can't stand to look at.

I think someones appeal can grow/shrink a bit in either direction, but you're never going to look at someone who is just fugly and eventually lust for them (assuming they don't make drastic changes).

[Whitesox]

Re: Does this make me shallow?

My personal opinion:

In a perfect relationship a man would be completely attracted to both her mental and physical aspects.

But how many relationships are absolutely perfect?

Everyone has flaws somewhere, I'd much rather those flaws be on the physical side, but there are others would prefer the converse. You decide which of these archetypes you fall into.

[allBthere]

Re: Does this make me shallow?

no offence by the bluntness, but if you don't want to bang her than what's the point?

Any girlfriend I've ever had or ever will have I want to bang them at least.