personality disorders in relationships.

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  • oneamongthefence
    Nothing to see here folks
    • Apr 2009
    • 5683

    #1

    personality disorders in relationships.

    I've been seeing a counselor and she thinks I have either aspergers or alexithymia. She thinks my emotions aren't fully developed. And it has taken a toll on my wife since its hard to be emotional or emotionally there.

    Does anybody else have any problems similar to this and how do you work through them especially in dealing in relationships.
    Because I live in van down by the river...
  • daflyboys
    Banned
    • May 2003
    • 18238

    #2
    Re: personality disorders in relationships.

    I'm going to jump in here early before anyone else does and say that bringing this kind of thing up in a virtual community could be counterproductive for you. This is not the kind of thing to necessarily discuss in a public forum. I know you are probably looking for clarity and answers, but I would highly suggest you keep this private in your work with your therapist as long as you trust her and believe you can resolve this in your meetings. Bringing this out in a "place" like this is potentially asking for more confusion, though at first it might "feel" better with some of the responses.

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    • oneamongthefence
      Nothing to see here folks
      • Apr 2009
      • 5683

      #3
      Re: personality disorders in relationships.

      Its not a therapist diagnosis. Just a counselor. Kinda like a marriage counselor.
      Because I live in van down by the river...

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      • GAMEC0CK2002
        Stayin Alive
        • Aug 2002
        • 10384

        #4
        Re: personality disorders in relationships.

        I'd probably google or ask your counselor for online support groups. Good luck.

        Comment

        • PVarck31
          Moderator
          • Jan 2003
          • 16869

          #5
          Re: personality disorders in relationships.

          Originally posted by albert_24
          I've been seeing a counselor and she thinks I have either aspergers or alexithymia. She thinks my emotions aren't fully developed. And it has taken a toll on my wife since its hard to be emotional or emotionally there.

          Does anybody else have any problems similar to this and how do you work through them especially in dealing in relationships.
          Aspergers and alexithymia are not personality disorders. Aspergers is a developmental disorder similar to autism.

          Now Alxithymia is a possibility. It is an emotional disorder.

          If you can, I would see a Psychologist, not a counselor. A Psychologist will be able to give you a more definitive diagnosis and tailor the therapy to your specific needs.
          Last edited by PVarck31; 08-06-2011, 03:49 PM.

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          • Jr.
            Playgirl Coverboy
            • Feb 2003
            • 19171

            #6
            Re: personality disorders in relationships.

            Originally posted by 31
            Aspergers and alexithymia are not personality disorders. Aspergers is a developmental disorder similar to autism.

            Now Alxithymia is a possibility. It is an emotional disorder.

            As far as personality disorders go, Schzoid personality disorder is a possibility, but it has a very wide range of symptoms.

            If you can, I would see a Psychologist, not a counselor. A Psychologist will be able to give you a more definitive diagnosis and tailor the therapy to your specific needs.
            What he said. It is EXTREMELY unprofessional and unethical of an unlicensed counselor to even attempt to make a professional diagnosis. If this person is trying to steer you toward a certain diagnosis, I would stop seeing them immediately and look for someone with better credentials.
            My favorite teams are better than your favorite teams

            Watch me play video games

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            • daflyboys
              Banned
              • May 2003
              • 18238

              #7
              Re: personality disorders in relationships.

              Originally posted by Baughn3
              What he said. It is EXTREMELY unprofessional and unethical of an unlicensed counselor to even attempt to make a professional diagnosis. If this person is trying to steer you toward a certain diagnosis, I would stop seeing them immediately and look for someone with better credentials.
              No. No. No. You weren't there and you didn't know how the conversation went. If a person is speaking to diagnoses, then what was the discussion leading up to that? How do you know the OP didn't ask/introduce the idea and maybe the counselor was simply giving some suppositions? To tell someone to IMMEDIATELY abandon the situation is irresponsible. And better credentials don't necessarily equate to optimal attention. I've worked with all kinds of credentialed people who I wouldn't let treat my dog.
              Last edited by PVarck31; 08-06-2011, 03:50 PM.

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              • Jr.
                Playgirl Coverboy
                • Feb 2003
                • 19171

                #8
                Re: personality disorders in relationships.

                Originally posted by daflyboys
                No. No. No. You weren't there and you didn't know how the conversation went. If a person is speaking to diagnoses, then what was the discussion leading up to that? How do you know the OP didn't ask/introduce the idea and maybe the counselor was simply giving some suppositions? To tell someone to IMMEDIATELY abandon the situation is irresponsible. And better credentials don't necessarily equate to optimal attention. I've worked with all kinds of credentialed people who I wouldn't let treat my dog.
                It doesn't matter how it came up. This person he is working with is a counselor, not a psychologist. This person shouldn't be offering any suggestions because they are not qualified to. If he brought it up rather than the counselor, they should have told him that is not within their capability to diagnose such a thing, instead of offering their opinion. It's the most basic ethical code of any psychological association, beneficence/maleficence. Always have the good of the client in mind, and do no harm to whomever you're working with. By offering their unprofessional opinion on any potential disorder, this counselor is leading him down a slippery slope.

                I'm only suggesting that he stop seeing them if they are leading him toward a diagnosis. By this, I mean if the counselor keeps bringing up how the disorder they think he might have is affecting their relationship, or is trying to design treatment plans around that disorder, when they have absolutely no right to.

                The point is, this counselor is overstepping their ethical boundaries. He should see a licensed psychologist if there is a diagnosis to be made. Of course there are people with the proper qualifications who are not good at what they do. But I can guarantee that there are a lot more people without the proper qualifications that are even worse. I'm not saying that is the case here, but I have serious concerns about someone who is more like a marriage counselor than a psychologist offering their opinion on a diagnosis.
                Last edited by Jr.; 08-06-2011, 01:48 PM.
                My favorite teams are better than your favorite teams

                Watch me play video games

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                • spit_bubble
                  MVP
                  • Nov 2004
                  • 3292

                  #9
                  Re: personality disorders in relationships.

                  Originally posted by albert_24
                  I've been seeing a counselor and she thinks I have either aspergers or alexithymia. She thinks my emotions aren't fully developed. And it has taken a toll on my wife since its hard to be emotional or emotionally there.

                  Does anybody else have any problems similar to this and how do you work through them especially in dealing in relationships.
                  Show your wife love man! That's your wife...

                  And show it every day, to make that human connection.

                  If there are problems still lingering after that, then maybe you can dig a little deeper.
                  All ties severed...

                  Comment

                  • daflyboys
                    Banned
                    • May 2003
                    • 18238

                    #10
                    Re: personality disorders in relationships.

                    Originally posted by Baughn3
                    It doesn't matter how it came up. This person he is working with is a counselor, not a psychologist. This person shouldn't be offering any suggestions because they are not qualified to. If he brought it up rather than the counselor, they should have told him that is not within their capability to diagnose such a thing, instead of offering their opinion. It's the most basic ethical code of any psychological association, beneficence/maleficence. Always have the good of the client in mind, and do no harm to whomever you're working with. By offering their unprofessional opinion on any potential disorder, this counselor is leading him down a slippery slope.

                    I'm only suggesting that he stop seeing them if they are leading him toward a diagnosis. By this, I mean if the counselor keeps bringing up how the disorder they think he might have is affecting their relationship, or is trying to design treatment plans around that disorder, when they have absolutely no right to.

                    The point is, this counselor is overstepping their ethical boundaries. He should see a licensed psychologist if there is a diagnosis to be made. Of course there are people with the proper qualifications who are not good at what they do. But I can guarantee that there are a lot more people without the proper qualifications that are even worse. I'm not saying that is the case here, but I have serious concerns about someone who is more like a marriage counselor than a psychologist offering their opinion on a diagnosis.
                    Yes, everything you're saying definitely has merit. I was just surmising from what you said that one should abandon the counselor immediately (your word), when none of us were there and, let's face it, the OP is being pretty vague on what was being discussed. But, my final thought is that forums like this (well, at all) are just not proper places to be bringing these things up because you open yourself up to all types of improper direction and opinion. Sure the guy right above me was encouraging, and it all sounds and feels good, but these things are too complicated to simply bring into a virtual world.

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                    • Jr.
                      Playgirl Coverboy
                      • Feb 2003
                      • 19171

                      #11
                      Re: personality disorders in relationships.

                      Originally posted by daflyboys
                      Yes, everything you're saying definitely has merit. I was just surmising from what you said that one should abandon the counselor immediately (your word), when none of us were there and, let's face it, the OP is being pretty vague on what was being discussed. But, my final thought is that forums like this (well, at all) are just not proper places to be bringing these things up because you open yourself up to all types of improper direction and opinion. Sure the guy right above me was encouraging, and it all sounds and feels good, but these things are too complicated to simply bring into a virtual world.
                      Definitely agree with the point that he won't get much advice from an internet forum. This is a very personal thing and there may only be a couple of people on here with the proper education and training to provide useful advice. The rest will just be shooting from the hip or speaking from anecdotal evidence which may do more harm than good.

                      However, I did say "if" the counselor is trying to "steer them toward a diagnosis" to stop seeing them. He obviously has a relationship with the counselor that none of us know about, but I do have advanced training in psychology and counseling, and in my opinion it is very sketchy for a counselor to offer any kind of diagnosis when they have not been properly trained to do so
                      My favorite teams are better than your favorite teams

                      Watch me play video games

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