How to be a "Man"

[ScoobySnax]

What's going on, fellas. Let me start out by saying this may be the most pathetic post I've ever made. I feel so damn ashamed.

Growing up, my father wasn't around and I was primarily raised by women (mom, grandmother etc). So naturally, I didn't get to learn most of the things that kids get to learn from their dads like changing a tire, changing oil, handling tools, and other things that men should be able to do.

Now I'm a 27 year old husband that still lacks in these areas and it's starting to bother me a lot. If my wife catches a flat, I feel like she should be able to call me and I handle it. I'm even more afraid because I don't want this cycle to continue when I have a son of my own. I want him to grow up and learn the ways a man should operate. How can I teach him right, if I'm clueless myself.

Is there anything that can be done this late in the game? Any help here is appreciated. If you got jokes, cool. I've heard them all anyway.

[Blzer]

Re: How to be a "Man"

Don't worry, I'm 23 years old and the same way. I have to start working the BBQ sooner or later as well.

If all else fails, YouTube is your best friend. They have tutorials on everything.

[Mabster]

Re: How to be a "Man"

At this point if you don't have a friend that can teach you anything might have to spend some time and money to learn some of the skills you think you should have.

Maybe look into any community colleges around you. Most of them have shop classes where you can learn some tool skills, intro electrical classes to teach the basics of simple wiring and even car classes that will teach you how to change oil to your own tune up etc.

In California community colleges cost $26 per unit and most classes are 3-4 units. $100 well spent if you're really worried about this kind of thing.


Edit: Blzer! Youtube is a great idea!

Also, you don't have to wait for a flat tire to happen to go and practice changing a tire. Doing it in your own driveway annd just becoming familiar with the jack and were to put it on the car will save you some headache when/if the time comes and you're trying to do it on the side of the road.

[Buckeyes_Doc]

Re: How to be a "Man"

I know how you feel. My dad was around when I grew up and is a great father, but his dad wasn't around so he couldn't teach me things like changing a tire or others things boys usually learn from their father.

I'm 23 and have never changed my oil in my life. I've never had a flat tire (knock on wood) but if I do or my wife does I wouldn't have a clue what to do.

I use to suck at using tools and assembling things, then I got married and moved into an apartment with my wife. I felt embarrassed at first at my lack of skills putting our stuff together but it made for some funny moments. Eventually I learned and I'm a lot better at handling tools.

Good advice from Blzer. I've used Youtube tutorials and ehow.com on many things.

Edit: Funny story. I saw a commercial a couple months ago about a convention for women teaching them basic auto skills like changing oil, tire, etc. I immediately thought, is there a class for guys like me lol.

[Madman55]

Re: How to be a "Man"

I know how you feel. My dad was around when I grew up and is a great father, but his dad wasn't around so he couldn't teach me things like changing a tire or others things boys usually learn from their father.

I'm 23 and have never changed my oil in my life. I've never had a flat tire (knock on wood) but if I do or my wife does I wouldn't have a clue what to do.

I use to suck at using tools and assembling things, then I got married and moved into an apartment with my life. I felt embarrassed at first at my lack of skills putting our stuff together but it made for some funny moments. Eventually I learned and I'm a lot better at handling tools.

Good advice from Blzer. I've used Youtube tutorials and ehow.com on many things.

I ran into this problem. Driving home from work I got a flat, and I had absolutely no idea how to change it, so I called my dad. It would've taken him about 30 mins to get there, but I was gonna wait. Luckily somebody was nice enough to stop and help me and I was on my way much sooner. It's something I should practice doing, my only problem was just using the jack which seemed to be really awkward to use.

[dcal]

Re: How to be a "Man"

Keep your head up man. Its easy to get down on yourself and let things snowball. Its harder to step up for your family when that happens. I can give you a little advice on the "handy man" type stuff. In the past I have not been particularly handy but have since learned to build a computer, repair an irrigation system, take apart and re-assemble a toilet, fix leaking sinks, and other stuff I previously did not know how to do.

How? Promise not to laugh..............Youtube. Everything mentioned above and more I searched on Youtube and found multiple tutorials on how to do things. You will learn as you encounter new things and before you know it that stuff will no longer be an issue. You just have to be willing to learn it and dont get discouraged when the first couple tries on something takes long.

I hope that helps. It just covers a small portion but if I can learn some of these things anyone can.

[Gotmadskillzson]

Re: How to be a "Man"

Youtube it up. Everybody had to learn SOME WAY. No shame in learning from Youtube.

I learned how to do damn near everything from either my dad or from off the streets. My wife knows to how over haul a motorcyle, tune cars, tune a riding lawn mower and knows how to drive damn near every vehicle like a pro, including big rigs, BUT she don't know that much about computers.

Life is a great teacher.

[Mjphillips]

Great thread. My church decided to do a help session for men that covered these types of things. Tools, flats, handle a weed eater, household and car repairs and even tying a tie.

Youtube is a great tool imo. Don't feel ashamed for not knowing. How can you be considering your upbringing. I have every confidence you can get up to speed on the things you lack but it's up to you to make the effort. In a way, you have people depending on you. Be the man, Sir.

Sent from my DROID2 using Tapatalk

[Mabster]

Re: How to be a "Man"

You're already half way there. It takes a real man to know when to ask for help and not be ashamed about doing it.

[Scruffychicken]

Re: How to be a "Man"

I feel you man. My dad died when I was young, so it was my mom, my 2 older sisters, and a little brother and I at home. I knew to put the toilet seat down, but couldn't fix a thing lol. Also, it didn't help that I just wasn't really interested in learning from my grandfather. I was young and wanted to goof off.

Luckily, we have the internet, so I've ended up learning a lot that way, and like others said, just asking friends and coworkers questions helps too. I now know how to change tires and do other standard maintainance on cars, fix leaks, etc. but I'm still picking up things everyday.

Still not sure I'm shaving correctly though, :P

[duffman]

Re: How to be a "Man"

I'm the same way, my dad was around when i grew up (and still is) but he's not a good teacher at all. He's one of those guys who will come over at 2am if i need him to, but he's gonna fix whatever it is himself rather than showing me how to do it. My best advice is to look it up on youtube or somewhere else on the interwebs and just go for it yourself. I bought my first house last april and thanks to just ripping open walls and tackling stuff on my own, now i'm confident that i can handle alot of stuff in my next house without having to call people.

And yeah, i never got a lesson on how to shave, change oil, change tires (until last summer), get a boiler going, etc and it sucks, but ive learned how to do alot of that stuff just off the internet (i had no clue how to use vice grips until 12 months ago haha). As long as we're not talking about electrical systems or things dealing with gas lines, just go for it yourself and learn from it.

[Gotmadskillzson]

Re: How to be a "Man"

You will be amazed how many men don't know how to tie a tie.

[Mabster]

Re: How to be a "Man"

And yeah, i never got a lesson on how to shave, change oil, change tires (until last summer), get a boiler going, etc and it sucks, but ive learned how to do alot of that stuff just off the internet (i had no clue how to use vice grips until 12 months ago haha). As long as we're not talking about electrical systems or things dealing with gas lines, just go for it yourself and learn from it.

It may seem like common sense but I just want to emphasize that part.

[Guffers]

Re: How to be a "Man"

You will be amazed how many men don't know how to tie a tie.

Yep, I don't and I wear a tie to work 4 days a week. My wife is great at it though. Probably time I figured that one out...

[WTF]

Re: How to be a "Man"

Losers.....




Seriously though, a lot of guys are in the same boat. One "tip" I can give on changing the tire though, is make sure you put your emergency break on prior to jacking up the car. I have seen WAY too many people in my time as a State Trooper who didn't put their emergency break on, and their car rolled the jack. Not a pretty sight.

Other than that, the best teacher is doing it. In Private if you don't want anyone to see it. We all fail, but through practice, patience, and a few Youtube videos, you should be a man in no time.

If all else fails, go buy the season series of Home Improvement w/ Tim Allen on DVD

It's all learning fellas, nothing to be ashamed of at all. I still find myself referencing Youtube. Took apart a carburetor the other day.