Help me get past this

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  • Evan_OS
    Go Titans..
    • Dec 2009
    • 3456

    #1

    Help me get past this

    On Monday my neighbor got into a wreck, which he suffered severe injuries and was then sent to Vanderbilt where he died. This young man who was 16 years old was a friend of mine even though I am 6 years older than he his. I've known him for since he was 5 or 6, we played Madden together, I helped him out on his car, I threw him a birthday party a couple of years ago, and so much more.

    When I heard the news, I thought this was a joke. Since I found out, I've spent all my days crying and thinking about this and it's really taking a toll on me.

    I get up in the morning walk over next door to the front, drop to my knees in the grass in front of his house with a bible and pray.

    I need some advice on how to get past this, my girlfriend has tried her best but it just isn't cutting it. I cry myself to sleep, I cry at work in the bathroom, on the car ride home, and on the way to work.

    I've never lost one of my best friends before, I just don't know how to handle this.
    Last edited by Evan_OS; 02-03-2012, 12:25 AM.
  • TheMatrix31
    RF
    • Jul 2002
    • 52900

    #2
    Re: Help me get past this

    Keep doing what you're doing. It's part of the grieving process.

    You're not doing anything wrong.

    Comment

    • Knight165
      *ll St*r
      • Feb 2003
      • 24964

      #3
      Re: Help me get past this

      Originally posted by Evan_OS
      On Monday my neighbor got into a wreck, which he suffered severe injuries and was then sent to Vanderbilt where he died. This young man was a friend of mine even though I am 6 years older than he his. I've known him for since he was 5 or 6, we played Madden together, I helped him out on his car, I threw him a birthday party a couple of years ago, and so much more.

      When I heard the news, I thought this was a joke. Since I found out, I've spent all my days crying and thinking about this and it's really taking a toll on me.

      I get up in the morning walk over next door to the front, drop to my knees in the grass in front of his house with a bible and pray.

      I need some advice on how to get past this, my girlfriend has tried her best but it just isn't cutting it. I cry myself to sleep, I cry at work in the bathroom, on the car ride home, and on the way to work.

      I've never lost one of my best friends before, I just don't know how to handle this.

      Bro...all I can say is....beside the fact that everyone is different on how they handle the death of someone close......that you don't "handle it" in my experience. It's something that is with you and you have to accept....and you do cry, you do get pissed.....and you cry some more. It's natural and IMO helpful in the grieving process.
      I'll put aside family members who have passed....as it's a different situation, but on September 11th I lost over 50 people I knew as friends and more than a dozen I would consider good friends. It's 10 years and sometimes when I'm driving home and think of those guys...I still get a cry in. It can't be helped.
      This post is not to "help you" inasmuch as it is to help you realize that what you're going through is okay. It sucks...but it's alright.

      M.K.
      Knight165
      All gave some. Some gave all. 343

      Comment

      • Jr.
        Playgirl Coverboy
        • Feb 2003
        • 19171

        #4
        Re: Help me get past this

        As Matrix and Knight said, this is the grieving process. Everyone grieves in their own way. It's been 4 days since you lost your best friend. The closest thing I've lost to a friend was my first dog, who died a few months ago. I was heartbroken and was in a depressed state for a couple of weeks.

        There are a lot of ways to express grief. If you feel that simply crying isn't working, do some journaling/writing, go for a walk, or anything else you think will help get your feelings out. Give yourself some time.

        If you really feel as though this is a problem for you, go see a counselor. They are trained more than anyone on this forum in ways to help in these situations.
        My favorite teams are better than your favorite teams

        Watch me play video games

        Comment

        • 55
          Banned
          • Mar 2006
          • 20857

          #5
          Re: Help me get past this

          Time is the only thing that can heal all wounds. I lost my best friend in 2005 and while I will never truly be "over it" I assure you that it does get easier.

          Comment

          • GAMEC0CK2002
            Stayin Alive
            • Aug 2002
            • 10384

            #6
            Re: Help me get past this

            Like 55 said, it just takes time though you never get over it. I lost my dad in October 2010. I was the one at the hospital that broke the news to my mom and brother. Was and still is the saddest day of my life.

            Things happen and we have to keep those we loved and lost in our memory.

            Comment

            • Chrisksaint
              $$$
              • Apr 2010
              • 19127

              #7
              Re: Help me get past this

              Damn bro that's rough, my prayers with his family.

              I have never lost anyone close to me I can only imagine if/when that time comes.
              Saints, LSU, Seminoles, Pelicans, Marlins, Lightning

              Comment

              • 24
                Forever A Legend
                • Sep 2008
                • 2809

                #8
                Re: Help me get past this

                This process your going through is no different from what many people have experienced. I wish i could say something to you that would make you feel better, but I do not think I really can. However I firmly believe that your friend is now at peace in the Kingdom of Heaven sitting up there with God. I will keep you and your friend's family in my prayers and if you need anything I'm sure anyone here at OS will be more than willing to help you out.


                Comment

                • Aggies7
                  All Star
                  • Jan 2005
                  • 9495

                  #9
                  Originally posted by TheMatrix31
                  Keep doing what you're doing. It's part of the grieving process.

                  You're not doing anything wrong.
                  No one will be able to help you past this. People will be by your side but from past experience people grieving don't need help they just need support. I agree with Matrix just keep doing what your doing it's part of the natural grieving process and it takes time.

                  One piece of advise I can give you is don't take it out on the ones you love because they are only trying to support you.
                  Texas A&M Aggies
                  Denver Broncos

                  Colorado Avalanche
                  Colorado Rockies

                  Comment

                  • Rules
                    Go Irish
                    • Jul 2002
                    • 3813

                    #10
                    Re: Help me get past this

                    Sorry to hear this brother. I lost my best friend who was also my neighbor the same way. Was killed in a car accident as both of us were going to school.

                    It will forever be with you. I will be saying a special prayer for you!!!!
                    Last edited by Rules; 02-05-2012, 08:20 PM.

                    Comment

                    • WTF
                      MVP
                      • Aug 2002
                      • 20274

                      #11
                      Re: Help me get past this

                      I echo everyone's sentiments that's posted in the thread. Do what you're doing. Find friends or loved ones who were also close to them, and talk about the good times, talk about everything. It's completely natural to do what you're doing. Prayers go out to you, as well as the family.
                      Twitter - WTF_OS
                      #DropMeAFollow

                      Comment

                      • stlstudios189
                        MVP
                        • Jan 2009
                        • 2649

                        #12
                        Re: Help me get past this

                        man that is rough dude. Wish you nothing but the best in this. down the road it will be better. Take as long as you need to grieve.
                        Gaming hard since 1988

                        I have won like 25 Super Bowls in Madden so I am kinda a big deal.

                        Comment

                        • 12
                          Banned
                          • Feb 2010
                          • 4458

                          #13
                          Re: Help me get past this

                          Originally posted by Evan_OS
                          On Monday my neighbor got into a wreck, which he suffered severe injuries and was then sent to Vanderbilt where he died. This young man who was 16 years old was a friend of mine even though I am 6 years older than he his. I've known him for since he was 5 or 6, we played Madden together, I helped him out on his car, I threw him a birthday party a couple of years ago, and so much more.

                          When I heard the news, I thought this was a joke. Since I found out, I've spent all my days crying and thinking about this and it's really taking a toll on me.

                          I get up in the morning walk over next door to the front, drop to my knees in the grass in front of his house with a bible and pray.

                          I need some advice on how to get past this, my girlfriend has tried her best but it just isn't cutting it. I cry myself to sleep, I cry at work in the bathroom, on the car ride home, and on the way to work.

                          I've never lost one of my best friends before, I just don't know how to handle this.
                          I am truly sorry for your loss.

                          You are handling it just fine, bro. Grieving for someone you cared so much about is not an easy thing to do. I lost my best friend to a senseless murder seven years ago and I still think about him on a consistent basis. Surround yourself with good people who care about you. It's not easy, but losing people in life never is.

                          If you need anything, we're here... But this is going to take time.

                          Don't ever forget or doubt the impact you had on him. It sounds like you guys shared a close bond. Focus on the good times. That's all you can do.

                          Comment

                          • Nathan_OS
                            MVP
                            • Jun 2011
                            • 4462

                            #14
                            Re: Help me get past this

                            Okay.

                            So is this real?

                            Evan, what have you done? This is sad..
                            PSN: MajorJosephx

                            Comment

                            • areobee401
                              Hall Of Fame
                              • Apr 2006
                              • 16771

                              #15
                              Re: Help me get past this

                              What a weirdo.
                              http://twitter.com/smittyroberts

                              Comment

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