Looking to the future

[12]

This is going to be quite the introspective post here, so bear with me here, guys.

I am 31, and finding that I am not a kid anymore. It has been a slow realization for me and I've found myself trying to hold on to things from my childhood and early adulthood. I still try and get away with playing games when my family goes to sleep, hoping to get that guy time that I need. The thing is though, I am wasting time. I play a couple games of Madden and I realize that three hours have gone by and I stayed up way later than I should have. Of course, my family ends up on the short end of the stick, because I will sleep late and my boys will get less time with me. It's not really fair to them. Plus, I am finding out that I don't get as much enjoyment out of games anymore. Maybe it's just a part of growing up? I don't know, but I want to change it. I need that time to myself from time to time, mainly because I work in a high stress environment and I need time to decompress, but I am wanting to channel that in other areas... Like working out, or writing. I am just starting to think that gaming can be a waste of time because I spend too much time doing it.

There's just a lot of things... I don't want to end up having regrets. I know that's not a good way to go through life, but if I keep going how I am going, I know those regrets will come. The way I spend money and not save, the way I spend my time, the way I don't take the best care of myself as I should... I can see all of these things in front of me, and want to do something about them now. Do I really need these games and these toys? My wife is hands off and doesn't complain about anything, so this does not stem from her - which is kind of cool, I guess. I am not beating myself up about it, as I think this is more of a maturing realization that I've come to.

Now is the time to plan for the future. I am tired of spending money carelessly and spending my time in a manner that makes me feel like I waste a lot of precious time. My sons are two and four months old, and I will never get this time back. I need to quit being selfish with how I spend my time and money and think about them more.

Sorry for this, guys. I know this reads more like a blog post but I am wondering if anyone else ever feels the same way? Thanks for reading.

[Phobia]

Re: Looking to the future

I understand where you are coming from and I will explain WHERE it is coming from. GUILT...........You realize you are using time to game when you could of did something more productive. If you handle all your responsibilities and do everything you are supposed to in your family you won't feel guilty when you sit down for a game.

For instance I'll use a example from me. I'm 31 also and went back to college late. I have 4 semesters left and I have to study a lot, but if I get home and don't study then just jump on the xbox I feel guilty because I know I'm not doing what I SHOULD be doing.

I have also learned to compress my gaming time in much more thought out times. Another words, I don't spend hours and hours and hours just sitting in front the xbox. I go to work, I do school, I play xbox for a hour, I spend time with the lady, I study, then I go to sleep. This is my normal routine on the week days. I get a hour a day, it is not going to impede on my life and family, plus I get to unwind with a game. Then on the weekends we go out to eat, go to football games, spend time with friends, go fishing A LOT, etc etc, but that rare occasion where my girl goes out of town and I don't have anything to do all weekend. I veg out in front the Xbox and just game all weekend.

This keeps gaming fun and enjoyable while also handling LIFE. You do anything to much and it is harmful and becomes unenjoyable. Gaming is no different.

[8]

Re: Looking to the future

I'm 32, married, and have a 2 year old girl. Sometimes I will go days without turning on my PS3 but when I do it's exactly like Phobia said, i'll play for about an hour and be done.

You have to have some time for yourself though. If you don't it's possible you'll start to resent your family without really even knowing it. Like I have to have an hour a day to work out. Gaming does go down on the priority list as you get older but by no means does it need to disappear.

[poster]

Re: Looking to the future

Sometimes I feel guilty/weird for NOT gaming, as I don't have as much time as I used to. I think I feel that way as I invest alot in technology/electronics (being an IT guy), but at the point of life I am in (2 1/4 year old girl), I just can't do it as much. Although once the little one is older and will be able to sit through movies, she will love the man cave setup, so it is always going to be put to good use!

It's not a major stress on me or anything, but I get where 12 is coming from a bit, although maybe from the opposite end of the spectrum. I wish I could stay up late and play 2 or 3 games of Madden, etc., but I am lucky if I can get one in before I want to pass out for the night (during the weekday). After a full day or work, working out, and taking care of the little one, there are times I am fried and will be in bed by 9 pm. That means little or no gaming time, although I may be able to tinker with some PC mods on games I play for a half hour or so, which is fine.

Saturday nights, I will make coffee and stay up later to game/listen to music, that is my catch up time. Sometimes on Sunday, I can do it for a bit too, depends on how much house work or projects I want to work on.

I wouldn't let it get you down 12, but definitely do what you feel is best. At 35, I sometimes feel these mid-life crisis type of thoughts, wondering about things I am doing. At the end of the day though, I have a great family, and as long as they are good, everything else falls into place and I am happy.

Good luck though!

[23]

Re: Looking to the future

Its apart of growing up and priorities change

You make alot of important decisions once you hit 30.. do you want a house, a career, is furthering education important enough... investments, spiritual life check, cut dead relationships out, time becomes more valuable so you dont want to spend it on things you dont feel is important to your life, etc etc

I really think the 30's are somewhat of a transition period into the 40s which I hear life becomes a bit different and you know more of what you want at the time, also you start to acquire more things you wanted when you were younger if you're stable

We all take the gaming hit man. I promise i dont know how guys buy 10 million games and play them all the time and have time for everything else...something suffers and thats not even a question, IF thats what they do.

Just know you can be wise and make quality decisions with your time, even being on the internet you can always learn something, read something you didn't know about, even understand more of the things you didnt pay attention to in high school...like other cultures and history is way more interesting now than back then... learning about the ottoman empire playing Assasins Creed is actually pretty nice, but in high school I know once I was done with the test that was the last I dealt with that lol

I guess in a sense what you're feeling is normal

[Phobia]

Re: Looking to the future

Its apart of growing up and priorities change

You make alot of important decisions once you hit 30.. do you want a house, a career, is furthering education important enough... investments, spiritual life check, cut dead relationships out, time becomes more valuable so you dont want to spend it on things you dont feel is important to your life, etc etc

I really think the 30's are somewhat of a transition period into the 40s which I hear life becomes a bit different and you know more of what you want at the time, also you start to acquire more things you wanted when you were younger if you're stable

We all take the gaming hit man. I promise i dont know how guys buy 10 million games and play them all the time and have time for everything else...something suffers and thats not even a question, IF thats what they do.

Just know you can be wise and make quality decisions with your time, even being on the internet you can always learn something, read something you didn't know about, even understand more of the things you didnt pay attention to in high school...like other cultures and history is way more interesting now than back then... learning about the ottoman empire playing Assasins Creed is actually pretty nice, but in high school I know once I was done with the test that was the last I dealt with that lol

I guess in a sense what you're feeling is normal

Well said man

[Gotmadskillzson]

Re: Looking to the future

Everybody have hobbies and vices man. And to be perfectly honest, I game way more now in my 30s then I did when I was a child. Just choose what ever makes YOU happy. Don't try to do what others do that you think is the right or normal thing to do. What works for others might not work for you.

For instance, all that family time, hanging out together blah blah blah, that doesn't work for me and my wife. Neither of us like to be smothered and being around each other everyday. Out of a week, we probably watch tv together 2 days out of the week. But it works for us. I have things I like to do and watch and so does she.

Where as her sister and her sister husband is the exact opposite. They do EVERYTHING together. We find it quite annoying because we couldn't live like that. Literally if they go 5 minutes without seeing each other, cell phone ringing, where you at ? Me and the wife be looking at each other like WTF ? You just left the house and only 4 blocks down the street. I am pretty sure when one takes a crap, the other is standing there waiting to wipe their butt.

Then I have other friends, they don't game at all,, but instead they hang out at the bar every night for 4 or 5 hours while their wives is at home with the kids. And there are other friends who be at the gym every night for 3 hours while their wives is at home. Or friends who spend a lot of time fishing while their wives are at home.

Either way, everybody has something that they do. You just have to find out what makes you happy and works for you and your family. It isn't the quantity of time that you spend with your wife and kids, it is the quality.

My wife grew up a navy brat. Therefore she only seen her dad a few months out of the year. And when she was in the Navy, it was the same for her son, he only seen her a few months out of the year. And since her ex husband was in the Navy was well, he only seen his dad the same amount of time.

For me, my dad has always worked grave yard shift. Therefore he slept during the day. I only seen him maybe a couple hours a day before he left for work. The bulk of the time seeing him was on the weekends and when he was on vacation. To be honest, seeing him that much when he was on vacation was very awkward for both of us. We weren't use to being around each other that much. Sounds weird I know, but once you get use to a certain routine and then it changes, it just seems odd. Like whoa.....I'm seeing you too much there, overloading my system, go some where.

So yeah, we didn't spend that much time together. Completely different personalities as well. But it worked for us. He taught me all the things that I needed to be taught and that is all that mattered.

[mgoblue]

Re: Looking to the future

Its apart of growing up and priorities change

You make alot of important decisions once you hit 30.. do you want a house, a career, is furthering education important enough... investments, spiritual life check, cut dead relationships out, time becomes more valuable so you dont want to spend it on things you dont feel is important to your life, etc etc

I really think the 30's are somewhat of a transition period into the 40s which I hear life becomes a bit different and you know more of what you want at the time, also you start to acquire more things you wanted when you were younger if you're stable

We all take the gaming hit man. I promise i dont know how guys buy 10 million games and play them all the time and have time for everything else...something suffers and thats not even a question, IF thats what they do.

Just know you can be wise and make quality decisions with your time, even being on the internet you can always learn something, read something you didn't know about, even understand more of the things you didnt pay attention to in high school...like other cultures and history is way more interesting now than back then... learning about the ottoman empire playing Assasins Creed is actually pretty nice, but in high school I know once I was done with the test that was the last I dealt with that lol

I guess in a sense what you're feeling is normal

Exactly. I'm getting married in May and we just got a house. I play for an hour sometimes, but don't have the gaming time I used to have. Now we'll have dinner and then chill watching tv at night during the week. Weekends have more things to do (errands, stuff around the house), or relaxing time in fall is usually football related (not gaming related).

It's all about priorities...Since I've realized my gaming time is monopolized by other things I buy games later on at a much lower price. Saves money, but I still play the top games, just a couple months later. Looking forward to Hitman and AC3 next year.

[RockinDaMike]

Re: Looking to the future

I turned 30 this year and I've stopped playing video games as a sacrifice to workout, turn my health around and also focus on starting a business in 2013.

I don't miss gaming at all. I actually started giving away my games and I found how much more fun it is to run outside, bike on trails, lift weights and doing yoga. I just become a totally different person and I've become a better athlete than I have ever been in high school and just EVERYTHING is better. My attitude, my outlook on life is positive and my drive to succeed is burning hotter everyday. Not to mention I'm 65 pounds lighter.

I realized how much time I put in into entertainment like video games, movies, internet and how minimal the hours I put in to succeeding. It was a landslide; I spent way too many hours doing something that in reality does not help you become better. Your potential on what you can be is getting thrown out, hour by hour. We get on athletes for not reaching their potential in their sport but why don't you do the same for yourself where it really matters?

Do you really want to be remembered as a gamer when you are gone? I know I don't. I'm not trying insult people who love to game, if that is what makes you happy, by all means game away because your not hurting anyone. I'm speaking to the people who want to accomplish a big dream.


For me, I want to be more than that. I want to succeed financially, open a charity, open opportunities for other people to succeed, basically make a difference in the world. When we were kids we weren't dreaming that we wanted to play video games when we are thirty.

We're still young and have the energy to make a drastic change the way you live. I know its convenient to settle and just go with the flow but when I took myself out of my comfort zone, the world opened up more for me.

February I'm moving out of America to El Nido, Philippines to start a hotel. I don't know the language, I'm leaving all my friends and I'm also leaving my dogs to do this. Talk about getting out of your comfort zone. I have a good job too but man i know I can do more with my life and this is the opportunity to do it.

I understood that sacrifice is an absolute must. Dropped video games, alcohol and going out all the time. Even dropped meat and became vegan. I've watched less sports, haven't gone to a movie for months. Now its trying to stop watching all the good tv that's out there which has been the toughest but have picked 6 shows I record and watch 1 once a day. Now I gotta figure out this internet addiction, still working on that. :wink:

I dream everyday like most people but the difference is now I step back and figure out what are the steps to make that dream happen AND DO IT.

I apologize if I sound preachy but I just can't help how I fired up I am to succeed. Thank you for those who read this message, now its time for me to hit the books and practice Tagalog.

[slickdtc]

Hear ya 12. I'm engaged, just moved out. My friends still all go out, drink all the time. I see them once a week and turn them down a few more times during the week because that life was never really me and now it can't be, anyway. I work 2 jobs to have some financial cushion and wanna get back into school next fall and start a career. Something has most certainly clicked, I'm working harder and more then ever before but I feel good about it and where things are headed.

I have less time then I ever have. But when I do get some free time, that's exactly what it is: free. To do what I want. I'm off today, typically Sunday's are my only day off of the week, but have a meeting this evening. Instead of playing video games, I'm on my way to do laundry, pick up more supplies for the house, hit the bank. Once I fulfill these responsibilities, whatever time I have until that meeting is to do what I want; hang with the girl, watch football, play PS3, listen to music on Turntable.fm.

Since this is mostly focused on video games, let me say this. I can only play a game for an hour or two tops. I got Uncharted 3 and Batman Arkham City last winter and have played them like, 3-4 times each. Still playing MLB 11, NHL 11, Madden 12. Don't have time to buy the newest games or editions or money to drop on those. I game less, but I really enjoy it more then ever. Then I shut it off and get back to real life.

[23]

What bank is open on Sunday? Lol

Sent from my A500 using Tapatalk 2

[Gotmadskillzson]

Re: Looking to the future

What bank is open on Sunday? Lol

Sent from my A500 using Tapatalk 2

TD Bank. You literally can actually WALK IN.

They are open from 11am to 4pm on Sunday.

[23]

Learn something new everyday

Sent from my LG-LS840 using Tapatalk 2

[slickdtc]

Haha, thats the one. Actually stupid me because I just hit their ATM, our rent account is with a local bank that is/was closed.

Everyone gives TD ****, but they've been good to me and those hours really are convenient.

[chilli311]

Re: Looking to the future

12 and Phobia, I'm right in line with both of you.

I'm 31, and got out of the military over a year ago. Since then, I've been bartending, and job hunting. I just started a new job that I hope turns into a career, but over the last six months, my wife and I have had a pretty tough time. She moved to almost 10 years ago to act, and did so for a long time. Eventually, that wasn't paying the bills anymore, so she put that aside and got a full time office job at a major studio. We were hoping that I would be able to get a job that would cover the bills so that she could quit, and go back to acting, but it's been tough to find good employment. Since my bartending gig was primarily at night, and on weekends, I spent most of the week at home during the day. I'd spend a few hours scouring job boards, and doing some housework, but the rest of the time, I was on my Playstation. She was getting pretty upset with that (rightfully so, IMO), but I felt that there wasn't anything I could do.

Hopefully, this new job works out.