Does It Make Much Sense To "Leave The Nest"?

[jeremym480]

I have to agree with this... moving back home is one thing but opening your life to another couple is a no go for me despite any financial savings.

I'm to a point in my life where I don't even want to vacation with another couple muchless live with them.

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[Brandon13]

I have a three bedroom apartment where my gf, my brother, and a roommate all live. Every bedroom has a bathroom with it, so that simplifies things to a degree.

It's not that bad, but the roommate is an idiotic drunk - so that's been fun.

I can't wait until my gf and I are on our own, and I would not move back in with my parents unless I absolutely had to.

Edit: Roommate had been gone for two weeks, then shows up as I post this. Great.

[DirtyJerz32]

Re: Does It Make Much Sense To "Leave The Nest"?

I was paying rent living with my dad when I finished school so moving out was a MUST for me! Best decision I've ever made.

If you're not being charged rent, I say live it up. Once you get in the "real" world you're life will change.

Now, if you're in your mid to late 30's then that an entirely different situation. It's time to go...

[Redacted01]

Re: Does It Make Much Sense To "Leave The Nest"?

I can't go back. I would only consider it in an absolute emergency where I'm digging into my savings, can't find a job, and it would be dumb not to move back home.

Since I moved out years ago when I went to school, my parents redid most of the rooms so despite having 5 bedrooms for 2 people, there would not be room for my stuff. Having lived on my own for several years, I have a 2 bedroom apartment's worth of my own so it just isn't feasible. I'm only 23 though so I'm not past the age where I would say no. Would be a pain moving back to Mississippi. Would be better off moving to Denver with my girlfriend and trying to make things work there.

[TMagic]

To me, it just seems like Tmagic is afraid to live on his own. You move back home to live with your mom, that is all fine and dandy, things happen. Your mom moves to Las Vegas and now you looking for other people to live with you for the rest of your life.

We are human beings, not ants or honey bees. Sounds like you want to live in a damn colony or some sort of compound. You talking about married couples living with other married couples all in the same house ? SMH I don't care if I saved a million dollars a day, I'm not living with somebody else.

But hey, what ever floats your boat. More to life then just saving money.

Just because I posed a question Im "afraid" to live on my own?

I've been on my own since 19...Im 26 now. I moved back in with fam for several months this past year, upon which I was able to see benefits of living with family/friends. She said she is moving to Vegas and I let her know Im staying. Where do you get that Im afraid?

I only posed the question because when I sat back and thought about the benefits, to me they seemed to outweigh the other side of the argument...

1. Finances improve
2. Health improves
3. Plenty of other cultures incorporate a "family unit" mentality

The only arguments presented on the other side have been...I need space, girls, and I dont get along with my parents. And that's fine.

But for the rest I feel its a mentality that has been inherited through the environment we live in. Just go through and read the responses. The majority have the mentality that it shouldn't be done, even though others like ehh right above presented strong evidence of how beneficial it can be to stay as one unit.

If we went to other parts of the world, it would be the exact opposite in terms of the responses.

What I was trying to get at is an answer as to why WE over here in the states have this mentality. Me personally, I think its societal pressure for the most part. Because, again IMO, the benefits far outweigh any negatives. Aside from discord in the house and an individual needing his/her space, I dont see too many other reasons for a person needing to go off on their own. I think that's learned and has become the paradigm in the US today. We're encouraged and pressured to do so. Its not something that I believe is innate.

[Hassan Darkside]

Re: Does It Make Much Sense To "Leave The Nest"?

I guess it all depends on the situation and your relationship with your parents. I've lived away from home (with roommate(s)) for the past 5 years and moved back in with my mom after I graduated while looking for a job. Personally I can't stand it and am planning to move out in a couple weeks.

Sure, I save some money but that seems to be the only benefit. I constantly feel like she's overbearing or in my space, even if she's in the other room. I like my quietness and independence. I also feel like I'm now involved in her problems, generally stuff that shouldn't effect me or wouldn't effect me if I wasn't here. I just want to worry about myself for now. I also want to avoid a situation where if my mom (who's 64) gets into a situation where she's not physically able to take care of herself or support herself, I'm the one that inherits that responsibility and that keeps me bound to her until further notice. FWIW, my parents split recently so I probably couldn't pick a worse time to come home, just didn't have any other options. Also have 2 sisters but both are out of state.

So yeah, if you want to live at home with mom and dead because it saves you money or improves your health (not my mental and my moms cooking is more detrimental to my health lol) or because some other culture somewhere else embraces it, so be it. But I can't put a price on my sanity.

[ubernoob]

It is mental. Some animals live in packs because they must to survive, while others are territorial. Early humans had to team up and stick together. Either way, one is not more intrinsically correct than the other. If living with others suits you then it's fine to do. Humans have evolved to where we can survive on our own without the need for the hunting gathering group and we now want to branch of to establish our own identity outside of or family group I love my privacy and being alone, so living with others when I can live on my own bothers me, others will have their own reason. Either way, if you look elsewhere where extended families is the norm you will often see external factors (most often money) being the reason that is done. It is still a learned behavior no matter how you slice it.