Deepest, darkest secrets you're willing to share about yourself

[jeremym480]

Re: Deepest, darkest secrets you're willing to share about yourself

When first moved to Mobile, on one of my first night's going out, my boys and I got hammered on some moonshine and went out to a strip club. I met this girl there and we talked for just a hot second. Her friends were leaving so we exchanged numbers. My friends never saw her, but I bragged to them about meeting a hot chick, blah, blah, blah.

A week or so later she calls me up and invites me to a Mardi Gras Ball. Of course, I accept. She tells me that her friends have a hotel and I could meet them before the ball and we could all go together. So I rent a tux, take off of work early, the whole nine yards and show up at their room stone cold sober.

When I she get there I take a look at this broad and she isn't really looking good like she did on the first night when I was obliterated. Something just seemed off. The more and more I look at her the more off she looks, then it hits me. This lady ain't no lady at all. This lady is a dude!

Spoiler

Well, I'm at least 90% sure that it was a dude anyway.

At that point there were so many things racing through my head. How could I get out of this? Should I just ride it out? Fake a sickness? Just run? Jumping off the balcony even seemed like a viable option at the time.

I figured what the hell? Just grin and bare it; have some food, a few drinks, then duck out at the first opportunity. I'm already dressed up, so as long as him or his friends don't drug and rape me, then what have I got to lose? I ended up saying that I have to go to the restroom and doing the slip and dip on them after about 20-30 minutes.

A few months later my buddies and I were downtown and were leaving one bar and going to another. As we were walking along the sidewalk. We passed "her" and some more of her friends. I was paying attention and didn't noticed her until she got right up on us. Then I heard someone say "That's him. That's the guy who ditched me". I just ran in other direction like a frightened school boy.

This all happened 8-9 years ago and I still hear about it from my friends to this day. :o

[DaveDQ]

Re: Deepest, darkest secrets you're willing to share about yourself

My first time was with my ex wife's best friend

My first kiss was with my ex wife.

I didn't have my first kiss until I was 18.

Is that a riddle?

[dickey1331]

Is that a riddle?

Haha I guess it does sound like one.

[BunnyHardaway]

Re: Deepest, darkest secrets you're willing to share about yourself

I'm deathly afraid of ostriches, chalk, and flour.

[jeremym480]

I'm not a fan of anything that flaps.

Sent from my VS920 4G using Tapatalk 2

[DaveDQ]

Re: Deepest, darkest secrets you're willing to share about yourself

When I was 13, my friends and I lit over 10 acres of land on fire and never got caught. The back of our houses was a Boy Scout reservation. We would go in there on top of a huge rock, smoke cigarettes and talk about everything under the sun. One day we were flicking matches off the rock and the next thing we know there were flames. My first two friends slid down the rock and started running. My next friend slid down and whacked his butt on the point of a smaller rock. I slid down and did the exact same thing. We were both terrified and started to limp off.

I can remember the fear that was in me, feeling like I wasn't going to make it out of there and die. Both of us made it back to his house. We ran to the back of his yard, behind his pool and looked at the wounds on our butts, laughing the whole time.

Edit: The fire dept. put the fire out that day.

[kingkilla56]

Re: Deepest, darkest secrets you're willing to share about yourself

I once told a girl I was mourning the loss of an ex so she would drop asking me why I wouldn't take her out. It was a lie that I regret till this day. It wasn't the worse thing ever but I've had that on my concious for a long time now.

That chick was absolutely insane.

[dickey1331]

I guess I can add this one. Not many people know this.

My ex wife was arrested for assaulting me and is the main reason we got divorced.

[ScoobySnax]

I jacked off for the first time at 10 yrs old watching swole bitches on American Gladiators.

****.

[DaveDQ]

Re: Deepest, darkest secrets you're willing to share about yourself

I jacked off for the first time at 10 yrs old watching swole bitches on American Gladiators.

****.

That just started my weekend with a solid laugh.

[8]

Re: Deepest, darkest secrets you're willing to share about yourself

That just started my weekend with a solid laugh.

A supportive, non judgemental laugh..

[jeremym480]

I jacked off for the first time at 10 yrs old watching swole bitches on American Gladiators.

****.

I heard Joe Montana say masturbate on SNL when I was 9 or 10. For some reason thought it was a good idea to ask my mom (who's extremely religious btw) what that meant.

If you want to know her reaction just watch A Christmas Story and see how Ralphy's mother reacts to him sayin the F word.

That was not a good day.

Sent from my VS920 4G using Tapatalk 2

[Fly3]

Re: Deepest, darkest secrets you're willing to share about yourself

Thread looks to be headed in the right direction.

[NDAlum]

Re: Deepest, darkest secrets you're willing to share about yourself

My first time was with my ex wife's best friend

My first kiss was with my ex wife.

I didn't have my first kiss until I was 18.

I thought you were married to the girl in your picture? Or did you already have a previous wife? If so, man you are young.

[NDAlum]

Re: Deepest, darkest secrets you're willing to share about yourself

I dated a girl in college who turned out to be bipolar. One night she got in a mood and I asked her to leave. I asked her several times and she refused time after time.

She wound up and punched me in the face and then threw a mirror off the wall and shattered it everywhere. She finally left after that.

Fortunately I kept my cool and did not touch her. I'm 6-3 220 and she was 5-4 100 lbs. I'm guessing that's how plenty of guys get arrested for domestic violence.