Lets Talk about my so called Best Friend

[DerkontheOS]

A little background on my current relationship with my ex girlfriend first. We dated for over two years and it was pretty serious, but bickering and other stupid issues got the better of us. I regret letting her leave my life and I still love her.

Anyway

So my best friend has been trying really hard to get with my ex girlfriend, to the point where she showed up at my house telling me how uncomfortable it was. I kinda blew it off.

Well last night we were all drinking at his house and I found out he kissed her and was pushing her personal boundaries by forcing himself on her. She keep on denying him cause she isn't attracted to him and she respects our friendship. Now we I found this out I was mad, like really mad, I got in his face yelling about how that's not what best friends do and I pushed him around and told him never to talk to me again.

Do I overreact?
Am I in the right by being so mad?

[areobee401]

Re: Lets Talk about my so called Best Friend

1. What's his side of the story?

2. How can you be so sure she's being completely honest about how things went down?

[AUChase]

Re: Lets Talk about my so called Best Friend

Aerobee brings up a few vital questions.

Its tough to give you an answer without much more background story.

[Blzer]

Re: Lets Talk about my so called Best Friend

I think you overreacted, and I think the talk should have been geared less toward the man-laws about one dating his friend's ex and more about the facts: she is not interested in him, and she told you about it. Let him know that first and foremost, be upfront with him.

Hell, use this as a means to actually be rational with him hitting on your ex, so you can say:

"Look bro, I respect you and want good things for you, but I'm going to have to hit it with you straight. She told me she's not interested in you, and you're making things a bit uncomfortable for all of us by forcing the issue a bit. It would probably be best if you tried not to enter that zone. It's a bit less comfortable because she's my ex, too."

I hope you can still mend what you tweaked. The biggest problem with what you did is that it doesn't change the issue or his understanding of what she thinks about him. For all we know, he will still be persistent on that topic, or even have more of a drive if he has any cloud of doubt about your friendship status with him right now.

Case in point: You're supposed to come with us on OS before your actions, not after.

[bigeastbumrush]

Re: Lets Talk about my so called Best Friend

A little background on my current relationship with my ex girlfriend first. We dated for over two years and it was pretty serious, but bickering and other stupid issues got the better of us. I regret letting her leave my life and I still love her.

Anyway

So my best friend has been trying really hard to get with my ex girlfriend, to the point where she showed up at my house telling me how uncomfortable it was. I kinda blew it off.

Well last night we were all drinking at his house and I found out he kissed her and was pushing her personal boundaries by forcing himself on her. She keep on denying him cause she isn't attracted to him and she respects our friendship. Now we I found this out I was mad, like really mad, I got in his face yelling about how that's not what best friends do and I pushed him around and told him never to talk to me again.

Do I overreact?
Am I in the right by being so mad?

So you got in his face because as your best friend, he tried to get with your ex?

But you didn't get in his face though for trying to force his way on her.

[DerkontheOS]

1. What's his side of the story?

2. How can you be so sure she's being completely honest about how things went down?

He doesn't have a side. He couldn't even explain himself. I only found out about this when I asked her why he was insinuating these things.

I lived with her for a year and a half, in that time I've learned she is one of the most trustworthy people I know.

My thing is we've only been apart a month or two and I feel betrayed that he would even try something that soon. It would be that big of a deal if it was 6 months down the road.

[DerkontheOS]

So you got in his face because as your best friend, he tried to get with your ex?

But you didn't get in his face though for trying to force his way on her.

It was the combination of both that set me off.

I just didn't feel like typing out everything I said.

[Blzer]

Re: Lets Talk about my so called Best Friend

My thing is we've only been apart a month or two and I feel betrayed that he would even try something that soon. It would be that big of a deal if it was 6 months down the road.

As I feel is a problem with most relationships and break-ups, if I play off as the guy who feels he needs to give someone time after a break-up, it becomes too late and she already finds somebody else. He just went in for it, I guess. Whether or not it violates an unwritten ethical code is your call and something you should decide whether or not it's worth blowing up in his face for. Maybe he deserves it, maybe not. It's up to you.

The only problem I see, as I said, is it does nothing for your ex who still might be tantalized by him. She went to you and you only took care of things for yourself. See if you can still get through to him about her.