Hi all,
Well I'm back. If you have no idea who I am that's fine I don't think I was super popular when I was last here but again I got banned and I did deserve it.
Its been since 2009 and I'd like to apologize to the community for the way I was acting on the forums. Like most who know me my demeanour had changed since I had first joined the site in early 2008.
I was going through a tough time in my life as my mother had just passed after battling brain cancer for 2 years. Before that my father had passed back when I was 18 and still in high school. My mothers passing brought back a lot of demons I fought when losing my father at a young age. Having no parents at the age of 34 was daunting to me and I wasn't handling it well nor most life issues.
My family life suffered, my professional life suffered, and I really had turned into a pretty angry bitter a-hole to be honest. To be honest I was severely depressed and I think I finally realized I had been fighting depression on some level ever since my dad passed away. I hid it well for most people and sure I would have my great days. weeks and even months.
After being in a car accident and deciding to quit my job (in sports television) the commute and the pressure of the job was killing me combined with my depression. I finally came clean to my wife about how depressed I was. After a good talk and a lot of tears I agreed to seek help from my doctor.
I was prescribed some meds and after about a month I finally knew that I was on the path to being better. I wasn't feeling sick to my stomach every morning. I could concentrate and I really just hadn't felt this good since being a teenager. Depression is awful and until you get help you just never realize what a toll it was taking on you. I suffered a bit from anxiety attacks as well and they were now gone for the most part. After finally getting help I realized what an a-hole I was before and I turned back into the fun and outgoing and laid back type of guy I was known to most people.
So again I just want to apologize to the community and glad I can be back and have fun reading and debating sports, life and other topics. I've made some good gaming friends on here that I have still kept in touch with despite my ban (I also was posting with a few at a different site - BMO).
Looking forward to renewing some friendships and making some new ones.
Depression is a bitch and if you suspect any of your friend or yourself are suffering but hiding it, I encourage you to not be afraid to get help from a doctor. It's the only way to getting back to the REAL you.
Thanks
Ryan
aka. Ruffy
"Herptacular" - as my Hot Shot Golf friends would expect me to say!
Well I'm back. If you have no idea who I am that's fine I don't think I was super popular when I was last here but again I got banned and I did deserve it.
Its been since 2009 and I'd like to apologize to the community for the way I was acting on the forums. Like most who know me my demeanour had changed since I had first joined the site in early 2008.
I was going through a tough time in my life as my mother had just passed after battling brain cancer for 2 years. Before that my father had passed back when I was 18 and still in high school. My mothers passing brought back a lot of demons I fought when losing my father at a young age. Having no parents at the age of 34 was daunting to me and I wasn't handling it well nor most life issues.
My family life suffered, my professional life suffered, and I really had turned into a pretty angry bitter a-hole to be honest. To be honest I was severely depressed and I think I finally realized I had been fighting depression on some level ever since my dad passed away. I hid it well for most people and sure I would have my great days. weeks and even months.
After being in a car accident and deciding to quit my job (in sports television) the commute and the pressure of the job was killing me combined with my depression. I finally came clean to my wife about how depressed I was. After a good talk and a lot of tears I agreed to seek help from my doctor.
I was prescribed some meds and after about a month I finally knew that I was on the path to being better. I wasn't feeling sick to my stomach every morning. I could concentrate and I really just hadn't felt this good since being a teenager. Depression is awful and until you get help you just never realize what a toll it was taking on you. I suffered a bit from anxiety attacks as well and they were now gone for the most part. After finally getting help I realized what an a-hole I was before and I turned back into the fun and outgoing and laid back type of guy I was known to most people.
So again I just want to apologize to the community and glad I can be back and have fun reading and debating sports, life and other topics. I've made some good gaming friends on here that I have still kept in touch with despite my ban (I also was posting with a few at a different site - BMO).
Looking forward to renewing some friendships and making some new ones.
Depression is a bitch and if you suspect any of your friend or yourself are suffering but hiding it, I encourage you to not be afraid to get help from a doctor. It's the only way to getting back to the REAL you.
Thanks
Ryan
aka. Ruffy
"Herptacular" - as my Hot Shot Golf friends would expect me to say!
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