How to Reach out to a Friend coping with Depression?

[Feared]

So for the past few months I've been struggling with trying to help a really good friend of mines that I have known for a little over a year now. We used to be really close, helped each other get through some tough times were always there for each other if needed.

Sometime a few months ago things changed some personal things happened to my friend and things started spiraling out of control for them. They started shutting themselves out from me and other friends, a lot of drinking which led to a DUI, they stopped caring about their college courses, just a lot of reckless, uncharacteristic things from them.

Through out this time I have always offered my unwavering support for them. Sat down and tried to talk this person through their problems, even offered financial support to give them a hand with their legal fees, credit card debt. Everytime I came away thinking I was helping, and that they were on their way towards turning things around. My friend told me they were going to start taking counseling.

For a while things were getting better, or so it seemed but I fear they are slipping further into depression. As of this moment my last contact with this person was a week ago, and I'm afraid that they might do something to hurt themselves, or someone else; but I have no clue what else I can do for someone I keep reaching out for, and offering everything at my disposal as a friend but who keeps getting pushed away? I don't want to give up on this person but I fear I am fighting a losing battle.

[jeremym480]

Re: How to Reach out to a Friend coping with Depression?

I'm really not sure what more there is for you to do, honestly. I think you've really went above and beyond and have really been a great friend. Unfortunately, sometimes when someone gets in a funk like that the only person that can pull them out of it is themselves.

I think it's important that you still continue to try and stay in contact with your friend as much as possible. However, when you do hang out I would definitely stress that whatever they're going through that things can always get better. Whether it's getting a new job or meeting someone new, you can always turn your life around no matter what! They're may be some tough times ahead and it may suck for a little while.... but it will pass. There's literally a million turnaround stories out there to prove it. Hell, there have been plenty on this site itself.

Other than saying that I would just try to keep most of your interactions as light-hearted as possible if you can. Just use your time together as a distraction by doing something fun. Whether it's going bowling, playing pool or going hiking. Just do something out of the ordinary to get their mind off of whatever they're going through.

[cusefan74]

Re: How to Reach out to a Friend coping with Depression?

My wife suffers from depression and at times there is nothing I can do to help her. Sometimes you just can't help in any way at all. It sounds like you have done everything that you can do to help. Just let your friend no that you are there for them anytime they need you.

Maybe some medication could help your friend. They have some stuff that really works pretty good. My wife takes some and when she runs out I can see the difference in her moods after a couple of days without her even saying she is out. They don't fix the problem totally, but meds could help.

[Jr.]

Re: How to Reach out to a Friend coping with Depression?

You can put in a referral to the counseling center at their university. The school likely has resources to help them more than you can do by yourself.

I would also recommend getting in touch with their family. The family can have them placed in a 72 hour hold at a facility if they are suicidal or threatening harm.

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[kehlis]

Re: How to Reach out to a Friend coping with Depression?

(Just as a heads up, this thread was bumped from 5 years ago by a spam bot)

That said, still could be a very helpful thread this time of year, and this year, especially.

[Majingir]

Re: How to Reach out to a Friend coping with Depression?

(Just as a heads up, this thread was bumped from 5 years ago by a spam bot)

That said, still could be a very helpful thread this time of year, and this year, especially.

Same with this thread
https://r.tapatalk.com/shareLink/top...ink_source=app

[PVarck31]

Re: How to Reach out to a Friend coping with Depression?

Even though this thread is ancient, as someone who deals with mental health issues everyday, the best I can say is to not be afraid to get help. Find someone to talk to. It really does help a lot. Whether it's a friend or a councilor or someone in that profession.

Also, don't be afraid to take meds for your issues if a doctor or psychiatrist thinks that would help. Until I started taking meds I was a mess. They really do help if you are trying to decide whether or not to take them. I wouldn't be able to get through a day without them.

It's also ok to admit you are not well mentally. It's not a weakness, it's a sickness. Being Bipolar, and accepting it and realizing it's not a weakness or something I can control was a huge part of being able to progress in my treatment.

I'm very lucky I have a strong support system around me. I know a lot of people don't have that. But you can have that if you get the right help. And I know for a fact all of us here are ready and willing to help in any way we can.

Like Kehlis said, this is a hard time of year. And it's hard for me too. But hang in there. Things will always get better if you are willing to get help.

[pietasterp]

Re: How to Reach out to a Friend coping with Depression?

Maybe this year more than ever, worth taking PVarck31's words above to heart.

[Herky]

Re: How to Reach out to a Friend coping with Depression?

I've battled depression and anxiety on and off for about 4 years now. I started some medication 3 years ago that does help. This year with COVID, the derecho that damaged our roof, and the birth of another son things have been pretty stressful. Then throw in the fact that my Dad died suddenly last month I've really been low at times.

I made an appointment to see a therapist and have my first session tomorrow. I am hoping that talking to someone who isn't family will help. I have good days and bad right now. Most of it is just grief over losing my Dad but 2020 has been hell overall.