Moving on from drinking alcohol

[l3ulvl]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

One thing I don't miss is spending so damned much money on the good booze...it's really an expensive habit. I'm always puzzled by people who are alcoholics and don't make good money, I have no idea how they even afford it to be honest..

People can always find deals. Store near me sells Natty Daddy tallboys (8% ABV) for 89 cents. Unless you mean poor people drinking the expensive stuff, then I agree it's hard to figure out. Speaking somewhat from experience, you can cut out a lot of costs without having to cut out booze

[JMD]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

I'll be 56 in January. I played in bands from 1977 to 1991 48 weeks a year 4 to 5 nights a week. Needless to say I did some partying. Once I stopped playing out I still got together with friends one night a week, either Friday or Saturday and got .loaded, I would usualy buy an 18 pack for the night and most times I finished it, I'd also smoke some weed as a well.

May 9th 2013 was the last time I used any alcohol or weed. I just decided enough was enough and stopped. I was sick of feeling like **** the next day, and sick of making bad decisions while wasted. So I quit. In doing so I lost a great group of life long friends as they continue to party every weekend and it's really no fun to hang with them if you're sober. I'm good with it. I spend my weekend evenings with my wife and my Xbox live and PSN friends. I don't miss it at all.

[ODogg]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

Well all, it's been just over a month now and I've only drank one time, when we had some company over to watch the Buckeyes game 3 weeks ago. I had about 8 or 9 drinks. I did get a bit drunk but not wasted and I didn't make a fool out of myself (something I always worry about if I drink with people, which is why I prefer to drink either alone or just with my wife).

I was talking to my younger sister about this and during the course of the conversation she nailed it "so you don't want to quit drinking really, you just want to quit WEEKLY drinking.." and I said, yes that's a very good description of it!

I won't mind having some beers/drinks with friends but man, the week to week stuff is what I have to give up and so far so good.

I appreciate everyone weighing in here, it's great support. I had thought about going to like an AA group or something online but those sites typically deal with God and all that and I don't do religion. And neither do I necessarily associate myself with those alcoholics who drink all the time either so this is great I was able to get some OSers here to help me out.

I'll periodically check into this thread and report my progress, especially during the holidays when people tend to drink more. I really need to be held somewhat accountable or it will be much more difficult for me.

[mgoblue]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

Well all, it's been just over a month now and I've only drank one time, when we had some company over to watch the Buckeyes game 3 weeks ago. I had about 8 or 9 drinks. I did get a bit drunk but not wasted and I didn't make a fool out of myself (something I always worry about if I drink with people, which is why I prefer to drink either alone or just with my wife).

I was talking to my younger sister about this and during the course of the conversation she nailed it "so you don't want to quit drinking really, you just want to quit WEEKLY drinking.." and I said, yes that's a very good description of it!

I won't mind having some beers/drinks with friends but man, the week to week stuff is what I have to give up and so far so good.

I appreciate everyone weighing in here, it's great support. I had thought about going to like an AA group or something online but those sites typically deal with God and all that and I don't do religion. And neither do I necessarily associate myself with those alcoholics who drink all the time either so this is great I was able to get some OSers here to help me out.

I'll periodically check into this thread and report my progress, especially during the holidays when people tend to drink more. I really need to be held somewhat accountable or it will be much more difficult for me.

Congrats! Sounds like you have a decent handle on it, and not drinking weekly will be good for you...save it for special occasions, not just drinking because it's the weekend.

[ODogg]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

Congrats! Sounds like you have a decent handle on it, and not drinking weekly will be good for you...save it for special occasions, not just drinking because it's the weekend.

exactly, although if you guys beat my buckeyes I may just be driven to go on a bender, LOL

[mgoblue]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

exactly, although if you guys beat my buckeyes I may just be driven to go on a bender, LOL

My wife's from Ohio, so sadly a Buckeyes fan....it's been heart attack city for her this year. Makes me think of the guy in "Airplane"....."Sure picked the wrong time to quit taking amphetamines" lol

[ODogg]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

My wife's from Ohio, so sadly a Buckeyes fan....it's been heart attack city for her this year. Makes me think of the guy in "Airplane"....."Sure picked the wrong time to quit taking amphetamines" lol

LOL, oh my goodness, that is perfect, thought I was about the only one who would ever remember that reference...LMAO!!

[Dillberg435]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

I also abstain from drugs and alcohol. I do have friends who really want to see what I would be like high, so they try to convince me, but once I say no they tend to leave it alone.

I have to ask the others who do not drink or smoke: How do you deal with it if your significant other does? I would not say I am some hard-line straight edge type, but I generally do not have much fun around people when they are inebriated. I am having issues with my girlfriend because she quit shorty after we got together, but now she wants to start doing it again in moderation (she says.) I am not trying to hijack this thread, sorry. I just really need help getting past my dislike of it. I love her and every other aspect of our relationship seems so perfect. I do not want to lose her because of my "hate" of substances. Any help would be appreciated.

[bvb24]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

I also abstain from drugs and alcohol. I do have friends who really want to see what I would be like high, so they try to convince me, but once I say no they tend to leave it alone.

I have to ask the others who do not drink or smoke: How do you deal with it if your significant other does? I would not say I am some hard-line straight edge type, but I generally do not have much fun around people when they are inebriated. I am having issues with my girlfriend because she quit shorty after we got together, but now she wants to start doing it again in moderation (she says.) I am not trying to hijack this thread, sorry. I just really need help getting past my dislike of it. I love her and every other aspect of our relationship seems so perfect. I do not want to lose her because of my "hate" of substances. Any help would be appreciated.

How was she when she was drinking? Could she drink responsibly? Most people I know can have a glass of wine and carry on with life without an issue but there will always be exceptions.

[kehlis]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

How was she when she was drinking? Could she drink responsibly? Most people I know can have a glass of wine and carry on with life without an issue but there will always be exceptions.

I'm only speculating because he didn't specify but I don't think he's talking about drinking.

[ODogg]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

I also abstain from drugs and alcohol. I do have friends who really want to see what I would be like high, so they try to convince me, but once I say no they tend to leave it alone.

I have to ask the others who do not drink or smoke: How do you deal with it if your significant other does? I would not say I am some hard-line straight edge type, but I generally do not have much fun around people when they are inebriated. I am having issues with my girlfriend because she quit shorty after we got together, but now she wants to start doing it again in moderation (she says.) I am not trying to hijack this thread, sorry. I just really need help getting past my dislike of it. I love her and every other aspect of our relationship seems so perfect. I do not want to lose her because of my "hate" of substances. Any help would be appreciated.

Coming at it from the person who drinks versus the person who doesn't I can tell you that nagging/bugging her to cease only comes across as a control issue and will not accomplish anything. Instead I'd suggest you come up with alternatives to keep her busy, such as maybe going out to a show or something. Or even if you're at home figure out a way to not just sit around and be bored.

I know for me whenever my wife would nag at me not to drink it only resulted in me wanting to drink more because the little stubborn kid comes out in me and says "I'm a grown-assed man, I'll do what I damned well please.."

Honestly though it's something you're going to have to decide if you can live with or not. If she's getting wasted and doing stupid crap then either you can live with that or you can't. She is unlikely to change until she's ready, just as I was unwilling to change until I came to a point where it emanated from me that I wanted to change. You need to really make that choice and stick to it right now, accept her or move on.

[Dillberg435]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

Thanks for the responses. It is about both drugs and alcohol, but I have already found ways to become comfortable with drinking.

Thing is, it really is not anything she is out of control or irresponsible about. She only wants to do it once in a while, and in controlled settings. I do not know what my big problem is. I think the promise of quitting and going back on it has really made me have feeling of anger towards it. They almost come out as jealousy. Like she likes them more than me, or is choosing them over me. I sound like a crazy person to myself when I try to explain it.

Last night we decided to try a compromise, having a "smoke day" every now and then. She will be able to smoke and we will do some sort of activity together. Something that can become a fun and positive time to help me associate it with good things. Maybe she will try foods I like that she never wants, like Indian. She says she feels stupid around me when she smokes, so we will do things to help her not feels so judged. I do not have it all worked out, but it is a start.

Coming at it from the person who drinks versus the person who doesn't I can tell you that nagging/bugging her to cease only comes across as a control issue and will not accomplish anything. Instead I'd suggest you come up with alternatives to keep her busy, such as maybe going out to a show or something. Or even if you're at home figure out a way to not just sit around and be bored.

I know for me whenever my wife would nag at me not to drink it only resulted in me wanting to drink more because the little stubborn kid comes out in me and says "I'm a grown-assed man, I'll do what I damned well please.."

Honestly though it's something you're going to have to decide if you can live with or not. If she's getting wasted and doing stupid crap then either you can live with that or you can't. She is unlikely to change until she's ready, just as I was unwilling to change until I came to a point where it emanated from me that I wanted to change. You need to really make that choice and stick to it right now, accept her or move on.

I get that. I was like that with my ex. When I met my current girlfriend, she was upfront about what she did. I was upfront about my past issues with it. Early on I noticed that I still had some negative feelings, but I was not nagging about it. We talked and she decided it was best to quit for a few reasons, not just my feelings. Now that she wants to do it again, I have been naggy and she has exhibited exactly what you are saying. I am trying hard to stop being a d*** about it.

[ExtremeGamer]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

I also abstain from drugs and alcohol. I do have friends who really want to see what I would be like high, so they try to convince me, but once I say no they tend to leave it alone.

I have to ask the others who do not drink or smoke: How do you deal with it if your significant other does? I would not say I am some hard-line straight edge type, but I generally do not have much fun around people when they are inebriated. I am having issues with my girlfriend because she quit shorty after we got together, but now she wants to start doing it again in moderation (she says.) I am not trying to hijack this thread, sorry. I just really need help getting past my dislike of it. I love her and every other aspect of our relationship seems so perfect. I do not want to lose her because of my "hate" of substances. Any help would be appreciated.

Can't really help you, smoking and drinking heavily was an instant turn off so never dated anyone who did it. My wife of 14 years does neither, so never had to cross that path.

[ODogg]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

Can't really help you, smoking and drinking heavily was an instant turn off so never dated anyone who did it. My wife of 14 years does neither, so never had to cross that path.

Have you ever found it somewhat alienating to live in a culture that so glorifies drinking to an excess?

[ExtremeGamer]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

Have you ever found it somewhat alienating to live in a culture that so glorifies drinking to an excess?

No, because I've never really been around it. I never went to bars, mostly because up till a few years ago you could smoke in them, and I have severe asthma that the smoking would have basically killed me. LOL But I don't see where drinking to excess is glorified anywhere.