Moving on from drinking alcohol

[PVarck31]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

Not trying to sound like a jerk, but have you thought about AA?

[ODogg]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

Not trying to sound like a jerk, but have you thought about AA?

Yeah I have but I am not religious and don't know that would be a very good fit for me. I also don't like to talk in groups much either.

[PVarck31]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

Yeah I have but I am not religious and don't know that would be a very good fit for me. I also don't like to talk in groups much either.

I wasn't aware that AA had anything to do with religion. If that's the case I would think there would have to be groups out there that doesn't incorporate religion into it.

As far as talking in groups, if you really want to change things and can't seem to do it yourself, you may have to step out of your comfort zone a bit.

[IndianBird]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

I'm guessing you gave up on his based on your recent gaming posts about playing R6 drunk and drinking games?


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If never clicked this thread until today. Thank you!


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[IndianBird]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

http://www.aa.org/pages/en_US/what-is-aa

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[Hassan Darkside]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

Also relevant.

There’s sometimes a link drawn between AA and Christianity. Historically this is accurate, and early writings do assume the membership at least has a nodding acquaintance with the religion. However, it’s a mistake to think that AA is only, or primarily an arm of the Christian faith. Currently, AA is practiced outside of any religious dogma.

The reasoning is simple. While a higher power is mentioned, the primary purpose of AA isn’t to worship God. The focus is on the practical matter of getting and maintaining sobriety. The relationship might be best described as the same relationship AA has with the professional addiction treatment community. Both have the same goal – they want the addict or alcoholic to heal – but each goes about it with different methods. In the same way, AA is concerned about spiritual health and well being, but goes about it in a different way than established religions.

- See more at: http://www.12step.com/articles/alcoh....4h4WCRdQ.dpuf

[ODogg]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

Interesting read on that in regards to the Christianity aspect.

[mgoblue]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

I'm not sure why he would say that to be honest. It wasn't like you said "bump" or something, you asked a legitimate question about what was going on in the thread.

Part of my issue is my wife wants to have a child and she's driving me nuts. No, I am not making excuses or anything, but just providing a bit more of a background. I mean she seems to have gotten it in her head that she has to have a baby NOW. We've been trying for a while, due to my cancer issues my count is low so we've been paying for donors and she's tried 3 times to no avail.

I have asked her to try to talk to someone, and hell I'm willing to go along too if it helps, because I don't know how to communicate with a woman who seems to think a child is important. Yes I'd like a child as well but it's not do or die to me as I don't have that biological clock I guess. So far she's said no to that and/or Prozac either one.

At least, I will give myself a little credit, although I've drank the last couple of weeks I've known when to stop and not blacked out or drank until she gets home (she works nights and gets home about 6:30am) but I need to get back into the 0-4 drinks type zone instead of the 8 or so I've been doing.

I will keep posting in this thread on how things go.

How old is she? How many children would she like? These are all things you need to be on the same page on for marriage....if she wants a big family you may be clashing.

Her biological clock is ticking, and if you're all ready having issues conceiving it's hard to just "let it chill" if she really wants children. Women have all the hormones surrounding that, so it's different for them.

In general though you need to talk to her and get on the same page so you're a team....

[seasprite]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

I'm not sure why he would say that to be honest. It wasn't like you said "bump" or something, you asked a legitimate question about what was going on in the thread.

Part of my issue is my wife wants to have a child and she's driving me nuts. No, I am not making excuses or anything, but just providing a bit more of a background. I mean she seems to have gotten it in her head that she has to have a baby NOW. We've been trying for a while, due to my cancer issues my count is low so we've been paying for donors and she's tried 3 times to no avail.

I have asked her to try to talk to someone, and hell I'm willing to go along too if it helps, because I don't know how to communicate with a woman who seems to think a child is important. Yes I'd like a child as well but it's not do or die to me as I don't have that biological clock I guess. So far she's said no to that and/or Prozac either one.

At least, I will give myself a little credit, although I've drank the last couple of weeks I've known when to stop and not blacked out or drank until she gets home (she works nights and gets home about 6:30am) but I need to get back into the 0-4 drinks type zone instead of the 8 or so I've been doing.

I will keep posting in this thread on how things go.

Not sure if you have discussed it before ITT, but have you both thought about maybe adoption? Or is it a case that she will accept nothing less than you putting a baby in her?

[ODogg]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

Not sure if you have discussed it before ITT, but have you both thought about maybe adoption? Or is it a case that she will accept nothing less than you putting a baby in her?

Well we are on the same page, I'm fine with children and she only wants one so that's not an issue. I had testicular cancer and my count is very low so that is why we've done donors. A normal male produces about 10 million sperm each time and the donors are usually much higher. Our donors have been in the 30 million range, LOL, so they should, technically, be able to get a woman pregnant just by looking at them!! Anyways we've tried 4 times to the tune of about $2000 and so far no luck despite her having no medical issues.

My issue is that she seems to be freaking the f**** out about it not working and wanting it to work and if it doesn't she acts like it's the end of the world.

BTW I COMPLETELY realize it's different for women than men but I just would like for her to be able to do something about the stress, whether its talking to a counselor, her woman friends who might understand better, or taking Prozac or something...

Oh and I wanted to comment too, just to be clear, I do not want to quit drinking, that's why AA won't work well for me either.. I merely want to quit binge drinking and not drink so damned much when I do. So for example it'd be nice to just have say 4 drinks in an entire evening instead of like I sometimes do and end up having 10..LOL.

[ODogg]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

Also, just to be clear, I typically drink one night a week (Friday or sometimes Saturday) so it's not an issue about drinking like too often either.

[roadman]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

Your OP is confusing or the ending posts are confusing.

This was in your first post: but I really need to quit the habit of drinking every Friday night but it's difficult.

And this towards the end: I merely want to quit binge drinking and not drink so damned much when I do. So for example it'd be nice to just have say 4 drinks in an entire evening instead of like I sometimes do and end up having 10..LOL

Here's the way I see it. You have people in here that genuinely care for you. Your OP states you have members in your family that are alcoholics, so, quite possible the trait could be in your genes. People were merely suggestioning as they don't want you to fall back to what some of your family members are.

The ball is in your court how you proceed from here on out.

[fistofrage]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

Also, just to be clear, I typically drink one night a week (Friday or sometimes Saturday) so it's not an issue about drinking like too often either.

Says the alcoholic. I binge drink about once every other month. I don't want to, it just happens. Get rolling and all of a sudden half a fifth of crown and 6 pints of beer later, it's like oh man, didn't know I had that much. It's more common than you think. Binge drinking was a way of life for our generation. Pretty much everyone I know binge drinks. We have a neighborhood Euchre party and by midnight 80% of the people are 3 sheets to the wind. I'm talking lawyers, accountants, teachers, tradespeople, etc. We can all walk home so it's not that big of a deal other than the fact that noone is looking forward to feeling hungover the next day.

But at some point, I would think this would stop, but it never does. Tough habit to break. I couldn't imagine doing that on a weekly basis.

[ODogg]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

Your OP is confusing or the ending posts are confusing.

This was in your first post: but I really need to quit the habit of drinking every Friday night but it's difficult.

And this towards the end: I merely want to quit binge drinking and not drink so damned much when I do. So for example it'd be nice to just have say 4 drinks in an entire evening instead of like I sometimes do and end up having 10..LOL

Here's the way I see it. You have people in here that genuinely care for you. Your OP states you have members in your family that are alcoholics, so, quite possible the trait could be in your genes. People were merely suggestioning as they don't want you to fall back to what some of your family members are.

The ball is in your court how you proceed from here on out.

Thanks roadman, and yes it does sound confusing because I'm a bit confused myself as to what I want. 100% abstinence doesn't really seem to work for me and I'm not sure I even want it to work. Controlling my drinking when I do drink I believe is what I'm more aiming for. In other words, having 3 or 4 drinks in an evening instead of going around the bend and lighting it up, LOL.

Its difficult for me because I'm a big guy and I can handle my liquor pretty well so it usually takes a bit for me to get buzzed so i tend to want to pound and then at some point it will all hit me and I don't slow down enough.

Not always of course, or I'd just give up, in fact over the last few months I've really only cut loose two times and just went totally binge drinking. Compared to about 4 to 6 times per month that's a huge improvement.

In today's society it seems very very difficult to just completely abstain. Even my wife, who doesn't like drinking, encourages me to drink a drink or too and "not get carried away" when we are out with friends.

To be honest as I've said, not sure I'm committed to sobriety or ready to give up drinking completely, and maybe never will be, but I will say that I am most certainly enjoying it less, probably because me drinking used to be a worry-free time when I could relax but now when I do drink I do worry I'm going to get carried away so the fun of it is not as much as it used to be.

Plus I have found as I get older it's harder on my body and if I don't drink top shelf stuff I get a hangover (although typically mild but annoying and lingering).

Anyways, I'll keep posting and letting people know about my progress but for now I'm doing pretty good, with the occasional slip every now and then into the abyss...

[cjonesfan921]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

ODogg, it might be difficult but not impossible. I was a pretty heavy drinker from 19 until 26. It's not been over a year since I had a drink. You will lose contact with 'friends' who in reality you only drank with, you will have a lot more free time, you will save some money, and more importantly, you will begin to see and feel a difference in yourself. It's by far the best decision I have made and I hope and pray I continue to abstain from it.