Moving on from drinking alcohol

[ODogg]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

ODogg, it might be difficult but not impossible. I was a pretty heavy drinker from 19 until 26. It's not been over a year since I had a drink. You will lose contact with 'friends' who in reality you only drank with, you will have a lot more free time, you will save some money, and more importantly, you will begin to see and feel a difference in yourself. It's by far the best decision I have made and I hope and pray I continue to abstain from it.

That's cool, great to hear man... It's odd but most of my friends who actually come over and I do things with don't drink...but like if we go out with my wife and it's a social setting with her friends, their husbands, etc is when everyones boozing it up. So I tend to usually have some then.

And make no mistake, in those settings I *DO* control my drinking. I drink only usually 3 at most...and I drink very very slow...and do not even usually get buzzed, let alone get wasted..

Why? Because I don't want to make a fool of myself in public and I also know my wife will be pissed as hell if I drink alot, ESPECIALLY if i embarrass her and/or show I"m drunk in front of her friends (despite the fact that the other husbands literally get falling down drunk heh).

The issue though is I get the "taste" of it and the buzz and it kind of keeps me thinking about it for the next time I do get an opportunity to have some cold ones at home while I"m gaming or such...then I say, no restrictions no woo hoo! and just go a bit college-drinking type drinking...

See what I mean?

Like I said, I do think i'm heading in the right direction, but much like eating I am struggling to find a good regular spot to be in and not abstain completely because the minute I say I won't eat pizza or drink beer, I want to eat pizza and drink beer, LOL

[HealyMonster]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

That's cool, great to hear man... It's odd but most of my friends who actually come over and I do things with don't drink...but like if we go out with my wife and it's a social setting with her friends, their husbands, etc is when everyones boozing it up. So I tend to usually have some then.

And make no mistake, in those settings I *DO* control my drinking. I drink only usually 3 at most...and I drink very very slow...and do not even usually get buzzed, let alone get wasted..

Why? Because I don't want to make a fool of myself in public and I also know my wife will be pissed as hell if I drink alot, ESPECIALLY if i embarrass her and/or show I"m drunk in front of her friends (despite the fact that the other husbands literally get falling down drunk heh).

The issue though is I get the "taste" of it and the buzz and it kind of keeps me thinking about it for the next time I do get an opportunity to have some cold ones at home while I"m gaming or such...then I say, no restrictions no woo hoo! and just go a bit college-drinking type drinking...

See what I mean?

Like I said, I do think i'm heading in the right direction, but much like eating I am struggling to find a good regular spot to be in and not abstain completely because the minute I say I won't eat pizza or drink beer, I want to eat pizza and drink beer, LOL

See man,here is the deal, if you "control your drinking", you have a drinking problem. I dont mean to make you feel bad, or call you out, and Im not saying you are some irresponsible degenerate alcoholic or something either. Its a part of your life.

I have a cousin similar to you, who would get destroyed and drink like a 24 pack a day. Generally ok with it, until once he pee'd in my hallway and it was like "dude you have a flipping problem bro, we grown men here you going to the bathroom in the hallway" Then its like ok ill slow down, "I only have 3 or 4 per day now, I can control it" "I literally go to the bar for the hotwings, but i love beer with the hotwings"

meanwhile, people without any form form of drinking issue, do not think like this, while sure you see people go to the bar and have 3 drinks, but they arent counting drinks, and they dont go into each day determining what the correct amount of alcohol they can consume "without having a problem"

its just like some people have eating disorders, when they say things like "well I ate a hot dog yesterday.... people without the disorder are like "you totally have an issue with eating" when people say like "I can control my drinking....i only have 3 beers at a time...and I drink them slow..." its just as painfully obvious.

youve overcome a lot man, I know you can get control of this and move on with your life, and like I said, you arent some degenerate guy or anything, you just need a bit of a lifestyle makeover just like anyone trying to lose wait, or go back to college, or anything like that.

[TheShizNo1]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

Don't agree with any of this. If you know your limit is 3 drinks or so, why would you not make sure to not go over that limit if you're not necessarily trying to get plastered?

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[BDKiiing]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

Don't agree with any of this. If you know your limit is 3 drinks or so, why would you not make sure to not go over that limit if you're not necessarily trying to get plastered?

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I don't understand people who know their limits, yet exceed it every time. I don't get how people have a problem with alcohol, it's simple, don't purchase it, don't go into taverns. I get the needing feeling, I chewed from about 16 until 23, and it was hard to give it up, but being strong willed enough I was able to give it up entirely.

Hell I come from a family of alcoholics, and I went through my college phase of being drunk every day, but now that I'm not in college, I maybe have 2 or 3 beers a week, unless we go out to eat I'll have an extra or two. And now I rarely go out to drink, maybe once a month. It's all about self control, and everyone is capable of that.

[IndianBird]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

Don't agree with any of this. If you know your limit is 3 drinks or so, why would you not make sure to not go over that limit if you're not necessarily trying to get plastered?

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He's got a problem and needs help. There seems to be a lot of beating around the bush in this thread so not to step on toes.

If you know three is the limit, but you go over 3 anyway then that's a problem.

If you can't decide if you have a problem or don't have a problem, then you've got a problem.

I hope you make the right decision and seek some help from a professional. We can all offer our 2 cents here, but the real help will come when you sit down with someone and freely acknowledge you need help and accept that nobody is perfect and nobody thinks any less of you because you need help.

Good luck man.


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[dsallupinyaarea]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

Don't agree with any of this. If you know your limit is 3 drinks or so, why would you not make sure to not go over that limit if you're not necessarily trying to get plastered?

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Not trying to get too much into Odogg's business but alcoholism isn't just Denzel's character in Flight. Functional alcoholism is a bigger problem because the person feels like they're in control.

[TheShizNo1]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

I must not be understanding something. I'll bow out.

[mgoblue]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

You get used to not always drinking out....

I may have one beer now and then, but that's it...and that's rare.

Rarely we go out with other parents and do a Wine night, but even then people are just having a few glasses and not getting trashed.

I guess the key is that the people we're around aren't drinking to get drunk. And honestly I hate the hangovers and losing control, so I don't binge drink like that anymore.

A prior poster is right though, as you stop drinking heavily you'll lose friends who were just drinking buddies....that's ok but hard for some people.

[Phobia]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

Maybe I'm missing something but what is wrong with drinking? If he is drinking on only the weekends well obviously that is far less than most people. Even if he is getting drunk on those weekends....isn't that kind of the point of drinking...I don't understand why it's looked at in this negative light? If he was drinking to serious excess every night or so then maybe I can see the "You have a problem man" speeches.

I don't know, maybe its where & how I was raised but I don't see a problem here. I relate it to people and their lent "lists", "I want to start eating less crappy food, start working out more, and become a slightly better me". Isn't that similar to what Odogg is doing here....."I want to drink less when I do start drinking and become a better me by knowing when to slow down".

I stated this in another thread but I work with a REAL alcoholic.....and it looks nothing like what Odogg is describing. His situation I view more so as someone who enjoys drinking and knows they need to cut it back some.

[ODogg]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

Maybe I'm missing something but what is wrong with drinking? If he is drinking on only the weekends well obviously that is far less than most people. Even if he is getting drunk on those weekends....isn't that kind of the point of drinking...I don't understand why it's looked at in this negative light? If he was drinking to serious excess every night or so then maybe I can see the "You have a problem man" speeches.

I don't know, maybe its where & how I was raised but I don't see a problem here. I relate it to people and their lent "lists", "I want to start eating less crappy food, start working out more, and become a slightly better me". Isn't that similar to what Odogg is doing here....."I want to drink less when I do start drinking and become a better me by knowing when to slow down".

I stated this in another thread but I work with a REAL alcoholic.....and it looks nothing like what Odogg is describing. His situation I view more so as someone who enjoys drinking and knows they need to cut it back some.

I agree with you but of course I would as I'm the alcoholic here, LOL.

Isn't this sort of the catch22 of this type of thread? If you wonder about having issues with drinking then you are definitely an alcoholic. And maybe I am, I'm not going to argue it.

I however don't believe being an alcoholic is necessarily because one enjoys drinking. It's not akin to heroin in my book which is, Oh I like heroin but I only do it sometimes but I"m not an addict.

BUT with that being said, I don't want to argue with anyone about it because it is only going to serve to make me look like I am in denial about an issue.

Thus the irony here of this sort of discussion.

Now, I do liken it to someone who likes to eat a double bacon cheeseburger on occasion because I love the heck out of horrible food but I know if I do it every day and pig out each time I'm going to be dead soon.

But I understand how people may view the entire content of this thread as an alcoholic here looking for help. I don't know that I am looking for help so much as trying to publicly sort out my issues and getting various viewpoints on it. So I appreciate all input, even those who may view me as someone in serious denial (which I don't believe I am because I'm aware of whats going on and discussing it here).

Anyways, I will say this, I had a misunderstanding with a friend about 10 years ago when I was drinking, massively depressed and my power went out. He thought I was going to kill myself (he had a friend who had killed himself earlier in his life and he wasn't going to repeat that mistake) and he called the police to come check on me.

My power had come back on in the meantime and I had my headphones on (playing Madden of course) so the police broke into my house and confronted me about me threatening to kill myself. I honestly thought they were nuts. They eventually asked if I'd be willing to go talk to some counselors for my depression and drinking and I said ok, because, well they really pretty much made me, LOL.

So later that day I spoke with 3 different counselors at length, for hours about my background, my drinking, depression and just about everything you can think of.

All 3 counselors said exactly what Phobia said above, much to my surprise considering the circumstances. They said my depression was the result of me losing my job (it was) and that drinking was a way to cope but I was not an alcoholic. However if I continued to drink and it became like an every day thing then yes I would become an alcoholic.

So the official word back then is I do not have issues with alcohol in the sense I"m an alcoholic. And I drink way way less now than I do then (as I said usually about 3 times per month, on Fridays).

But yes I do love alcohol and need to be careful, which is what I'm trying to do. I will give myself a lot of credit btw guys, thanks to everyones support here and my wifes concern about my health I am doing much much better in regards to not getting out of control.

I think for me anyways the binge drinking is a bad habit that I'm still carrying from my 20's and yes it needs to stop but I can sit here right now and tell everyone that in the past 3 months I've only drink a bit too much a couple of times.

[Phobia]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

Only you know what is really going on. If you feel you have a problem, then take care of your business. If you feel its something you are just cleaning up in your life, then do what you need to do. In the end you are the only one who knows what is best for you.

Side Note

Spoiler

I'm going to Patty in the Parc tonight http://espn1420.com/patty-in-the-par...ening-tonight/.....which is a Saint Pat's party in down town Lafayette. I will pour one out for you ODogg

This was last years..........it gets crazy

http://bestevents.us/wp-content/uploads/2016/02/1456032033_12715548_973361366046183_2778234810657226952_n.jpg

Now like I said in my last post.....maybe its where I live but here in south Louisiana there is a party & drinking going on for everything

[mgoblue]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

Separately, for me, was realizing that I don't really want (or need to) be drunk to have fun....

At parties in college and whatnot that's just what you did...always figured I needed to be hammered to have fun.

Now with my life I don't really need that, and honestly alcohol doesn't add that much benefit...so I'll partake now and then, but not regularly....

Just a different viewpoint...I have nothing against drinking, if it's done safely and isn't causing you or others harm

[ODogg]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

Separately, for me, was realizing that I don't really want (or need to) be drunk to have fun....

At parties in college and whatnot that's just what you did...always figured I needed to be hammered to have fun.

Now with my life I don't really need that, and honestly alcohol doesn't add that much benefit...so I'll partake now and then, but not regularly....

Just a different viewpoint...I have nothing against drinking, if it's done safely and isn't causing you or others harm

Yeah thats exactly what my wife says. I can have fun without it. For me though, i just like the feeling of being buzzed. I don't think I have any dark psychological reasons why I like it, not everyone has to. I just enjoy it. Maybe it's because I'm Irish, LOL.

The Division has helped keep me from drinking any as of late, that game is too hard to play when you're tipsy!!

[fistofrage]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

Maybe I'm missing something but what is wrong with drinking? If he is drinking on only the weekends well obviously that is far less than most people. Even if he is getting drunk on those weekends....isn't that kind of the point of drinking...I don't understand why it's looked at in this negative light? If he was drinking to serious excess every night or so then maybe I can see the "You have a problem man" speeches.

I don't know, maybe its where & how I was raised but I don't see a problem here. I relate it to people and their lent "lists", "I want to start eating less crappy food, start working out more, and become a slightly better me". Isn't that similar to what Odogg is doing here....."I want to drink less when I do start drinking and become a better me by knowing when to slow down".

I stated this in another thread but I work with a REAL alcoholic.....and it looks nothing like what Odogg is describing. His situation I view more so as someone who enjoys drinking and knows they need to cut it back some.

I agree with you, I go drink and have a good time and don't look down on others that do either as long as they don't drive. It seems our whole neighborhood is full of binge drinkers. Noone is getting drunk every night or even every weekend, but when we drink, a lot of people overdue it. Lawyers, accountants, teachers, engineers, etc. in our neighborhood all the same. Binge drinking was huge in the 80's and 90's, moreso than it seems today when I go back to college for games and homecoming. So it seems we have a lot of binge drinkers in their 30's and 40's.

It's not alcolohism in the fact you need a drink every day, but it is alcoholism in the fact that once you start, you can't stop and next thing you know it's 1am and you are bumbling and stumbling.

[ImTellinTim]

Re: Moving on from drinking alcohol

It's not alcolohism in the fact you need a drink every day, but it is alcoholism in the fact that once you start, you can't stop and next thing you know it's 1am and you are bumbling and stumbling.

Exactly. People see the word alcoholism and immediately think the extreme. There are levels. The best thing people can do is educate themselves about the risks associated with alcohol and how problems can escalate. It's this way with any kind of recreational substance, it's just that alcohol is the most accepted one.