Corny Topic...How Do/Did You Know That You've Found The Right One?

[TMagic]

For anyone with any experience, especially my married dudes out there.

Even some of you fellas out there that have gotten divorced I'm sure have some good wisdom to share...realizing someone is the wrong one may be even MORE important.

I ask because I'm curious as to what things are truly most important when it comes to being with one person for life. And, as mentioned above, which things are tell tale signs that this person ain't it.

Is it being able to laugh together often? Having similar interests? Being able to have long conversations? Being attracted to them? Affection? Whatever it is. Share it. This goes for those with long term dating experience too, even if it hasn't reached marriage.


I asked one client (married), and she said you just want to be with someone that doesn't get under your skin....To me that just seems a bit like settling.

Another client (getting married), said that you know you've found the right one when your heart is at peace; meaning that you're not worried about missing out on someone else. Not questioning whether it will work out or if the person is really right for you...I thought that made a lot of sense.

So what do you think? Any wisdom/experience would be awesome for those of us looking for the right one.

[TripleCrown9]

Re: Corny Topic...How Do/Did You Know That You've Found The Right One?

What sucks is being 100% you found The One, and being wrong.

That's the only info I have on the subject lol.

[TMagic]

Re: Corny Topic...How Do/Did You Know That You've Found The Right One?

What sucks is being 100% you found The One, and being wrong.

That's the only info I have on the subject lol.

Care to share.

What happened there my man?

[TripleCrown9]

Re: Corny Topic...How Do/Did You Know That You've Found The Right One?

I've been engaged twice. First one I didn't really feel was the one, and I was correct.

Second one has so far ruined me, and we broke up in November of 2014 (without going into too much detail, I've had ZERO physical contact with a girl since then). We started planning a wedding, talked about where we would honeymoon, etc. And one day she just up and broke up with me, and now she's married.

[TMagic]

Re: Corny Topic...How Do/Did You Know That You've Found The Right One?

I've been engaged twice. First one I didn't really feel was the one, and I was correct.

Second one has so far ruined me, and we broke up in November of 2014 (without going into too much detail, I've had ZERO physical contact with a girl since then). We started planning a wedding, talked about where we would honeymoon, etc. And one day she just up and broke up with me, and now she's married.

What was it about the first one that made you feel that way? Like, what tipped you off about you guys together?

And the second one, I feel you man. Had a similar situation happen like that to me about 6 years back. Just takes time.

[TripleCrown9]

Re: Corny Topic...How Do/Did You Know That You've Found The Right One?

What was it about the first one that made you feel that way? Like, what tipped you off about you guys together?

And the second one, I feel you man. Had a similar situation happen like that to me about 6 years back. Just takes time.

It was right out of high school. Well, I had graduated and she was still in school. I was just like, hey let's get married and she said yes. A complicated few months later, she had moved in to my parent's house with me and after a couple months of that, it was just clear that it wasn't time. We were always arguing and stuff, and we realized we were too young to grow up that fast.

[dickey1331]

Corny Topic...How Do/Did You Know That You've Found The Right One?

I've been married twice.

The first one didn't work out because well she went to jail for assaulting me so yeah. Don't marry a psycho bitch.

My current wife is awesome. Sometimes you just know when she is the one. If they make you better as a person and someone you don't want to live without are 2 big factors to know if she is the one.

With my wife she does all of the cooking and cleaning. I don't cook and she won't let me clean due to her OCD. My only job is to do the trash.

She also understands my hobby for video games. I don't go out drinking with the guys. Hell I hardly leave the house but she's fine with my video game time as I'm fine with her tv shows.

We are both goofy and weird. She's very outgoing and I'm not but I feel like we are the same and different enough that it works. We do fight a lot but after 5 years of marriage it's not as bad now.

It was hard for me to find the one due to being in the military and having to move often and having to find a women who will put their life on hold for me. I'm very old school in that I don't want my kids to be in daycare and wanted a stay at home mom. It seems nowadays that's rare with a lot of women being more independent. It's hard for her to have a career when you want that plus moving every 3-4 years.

Just find someone who you can deal with their negative and who can make you laugh and who will be there will go a long way. My wife is clearly better looking than me and looks played a big role in why I dated her but the older I get the more I realize that looks don't mean **** if you want you're relationship to last.

Honestly after saying all of that I should be single but I lucked out.

[daflyboys]

Re: Corny Topic...How Do/Did You Know That You've Found The Right One?

This is all you need to know:

<iframe width="640" height="360" src="https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/hKWmFWRVLlU" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>

[The 24th Letter]

Re: Corny Topic...How Do/Did You Know That You've Found The Right One?

Two things stuck out to me...

She understood and laughed at my weird *** sense of humor

We had only been dating a couple of months...I got crazy sick on the way back from a road trip....I was driving on the highway and couldn't pull over so I essentially threw up on myself and all over there car. When I got back she cleaned alllllll of that **** up.

Wasn't letting her go after that. Sorry for the gross story.

I feel my greatest accomplishment is picking the right girl to marry...we recently hit a decade together.

[mike24forever]

Re: Corny Topic...How Do/Did You Know That You've Found The Right One?

Unicorns. Damn near pooped myself.

[Trevytrev11]

Re: Corny Topic...How Do/Did You Know That You've Found The Right One?

I think it's the whole marrying your best friend thing. You want to be married to someone that you truly enjoy being around, talking to and doing stuff with most of the time, because that is what most healthy marriages rely on. I think there definitely needs to be attraction between both parties, which is probably what either brought you together in the first place or was evident from the start.

There wasn't an AH-HA moment for me and my wife. We started dating our sophomore year in High School. We stayed together through college while pretty much living together and lived together shortly after. We got along, there was always attraction and passion and we just liked to be around each other...we still do after being together for almost 20 years and being married for almost 11. We have our friends and our hobbies, but we genuinely enjoy being around one another.

Attraction alone is not enough. If you have someone that is hot as can be, but annoys you every time they open their mouth of drives you crazy with how they treat other people or with every little quirk they have, that might make for a fun and exciting relationship for a while, but eventually you are going to grow tired of that person and that honeymoon-phase passion will wear off sooner than later and you are going to be miserable.

My advice to further validate you have the right person...live with that person for an extended period of time. Not spending 3 or 4 nights a week with that person...Live with them. You need to understand how they function in that setting on a regular basis to ensure that you are compatible. How do you handle bills, meals, household duties, stress, arguments, etc?

My other advice...wait. Don't rush into marriage so soon in a relationship. The first year or two you are really still just getting to know the other person and probably to a point they are still not completely open in terms of who they really are and how they really act. Over time, once guards are let down, you'll truly see that person for who they are.

These two things are very important because for the most part, marriage doesn't change who a person is. If someone has bad traits before a marriage and your hope is that they will mature and grow out of them because they are married, you will be highly disappointed. I know a lot of people that got married young and faced difficulty shortly after because the other person didn't change and react how they expected them too, event though it's who they were the entire time. These folks either have gotten divorced or have a crappy marriage in which they are miserable to be around because they hate being around each other and try and find reasons not to be around each other.

In short...once you know, you will know...but invest some time to validate that feeling.

[mgoblue]

Re: Corny Topic...How Do/Did You Know That You've Found The Right One?

I think it's the whole marrying your best friend thing. You want to be married to someone that you truly enjoy being around, talking to and doing stuff with most of the time, because that is what most healthy marriages rely on. I think there definitely needs to be attraction between both parties, which is probably what either brought you together in the first place or was evident from the start.

There wasn't an AH-HA moment for me and my wife. We started dating our sophomore year in High School. We stayed together through college while pretty much living together and lived together shortly after. We got along, there was always attraction and passion and we just liked to be around each other...we still do after being together for almost 20 years and being married for almost 11. We have our friends and our hobbies, but we genuinely enjoy being around one another.

Attraction alone is not enough. If you have someone that is hot as can be, but annoys you every time they open their mouth of drives you crazy with how they treat other people or with every little quirk they have, that might make for a fun and exciting relationship for a while, but eventually you are going to grow tired of that person and that honeymoon-phase passion will wear off sooner than later and you are going to be miserable.

My advice to further validate you have the right person...live with that person for an extended period of time. Not spending 3 or 4 nights a week with that person...Live with them. You need to understand how they function in that setting on a regular basis to ensure that you are compatible. How do you handle bills, meals, household duties, stress, arguments, etc?

My other advice...wait. Don't rush into marriage so soon in a relationship. The first year or two you are really still just getting to know the other person and probably to a point they are still not completely open in terms of who they really are and how they really act. Over time, once guards are let down, you'll truly see that person for who they are.

These two things are very important because for the most part, marriage doesn't change who a person is. If someone has bad traits before a marriage and your hope is that they will mature and grow out of them because they are married, you will be highly disappointed. I know a lot of people that got married young and faced difficulty shortly after because the other person didn't change and react how they expected them too, event though it's who they were the entire time. These folks either have gotten divorced or have a crappy marriage in which they are miserable to be around because they hate being around each other and try and find reasons not to be around each other.

In short...once you know, you will know...but invest some time to validate that feeling.

Great post....you need both attraction physically and mentally/emotionally....

[Marino]

Re: Corny Topic...How Do/Did You Know That You've Found The Right One?

She valued my time and seemed genuinely interested in me. And she doesn't mind me watching sports.

I knew after the first week because she wanted to be around me but not in a clingy way, and she really enjoyed watching basketball with me.

[Pete1210]

Re: Corny Topic...How Do/Did You Know That You've Found The Right One?

There was physical attraction and we both came from similar backgrounds. At that time I was getting into trying to live a more spiritual lifestyle, I shared about it on our first date and she shared about her faith, which was an important part of her life. I had a good feeling after that first date, that she could be the one.

She moved into my place 3 months later, we were engaged at 6 months and married about 10 months after we met. We were both older, early 30s, so we knew what we wanted. It was my second marriage, her first.

Its been 23 years and we are still best friends. I feel like I really hit lotto the second time around.

[PeoplesChampGB]

Re: Corny Topic...How Do/Did You Know That You've Found The Right One?

If she likes football, hockey, NASCAR, reminds you that the draft is coming on and you better turn it, watches wrestling, can make a mean biscuits and gravy along with about every dessert known to man. Also she likes videogames and comics, likes stout drinks and has the same smart*** personality that you do you know she's the one.

At least that's how it was for me.

EDIT: And make sure she doesn't like a rival team.