Anybody find it hard to not compare yourself to others on social media?

[pw_1016]

I understand that people only show their highlight reels on social media but i just find myself to be very jealous of people who have interesting enough lives to show off on social media. I don't really have friends but when i look at people's instagram posts where they are having a good time with their friends , I feel some kinda way. It also seems like everyone on there just travels all the time and has a lot of success in life. I actually like instagram because other content that i follow is motivational. I had to deactivate facebook recently because I got tired of seeing pictures of people's kids and people from my past that i no longer care about showing off their vacations plus people have some pretty silly status updates.

[Herky]

Re: Anybody find it hard to not compare yourself to others on social media?

Most of social media is a show. I know multiple people who look like they have the perfect life on social media, when behind the scenes their life and or marriage is a mess. Some people especially that I just know through others would get drunk and fight all the time when we all would be at gatherings. The wife had multiple affairs and now they are divorced. On Facebook right up until they split they looked like the perfect family. Once we started hanging out in the same circles I saw it was all a lie.

Take it for what it is. A lot of people use social media to put on a good face.

[tinpanalley]

Re: Anybody find it hard to not compare yourself to others on social media?

No, I don't. I just ignore it because it's not real life. Nobody happy needs to spend their life telling others they're happy, because they're too busy living their life and being happy or at least making an honest go at being happy. Ignore it. I promise you that the vast majority of people you see online, especially those with gorgeously edited photos, are in some way the opposite of what you see. Think about it: who has time to massively edit and process their regular photos just to tell strangers how happy they are? And even for friends, who shows their photos to their friends via social media? Wouldn't you just send those photos to your friends in a message if you wanted them to see them?

Social media is predominantly a lie and should not in any way be allowed to affect how you feel about anything, most of all your personal life.

[jeebs9]

Re: Anybody find it hard to not compare yourself to others on social media?

No, I don't. I just ignore it because it's not real life. Nobody happy needs to spend their life telling others they're happy, because they're too busy living their life and being happy or at least making an honest go at being happy. Ignore it. I promise you that the vast majority of people you see online, especially those with gorgeously edited photos, are in some way the opposite of what you see. Think about it: who has time to massively edit and process their regular photos just to tell strangers how happy they are? And even for friends, who shows their photos to their friends via social media? Wouldn't you just send those photos to your friends in a message if you wanted them to see them?

Social media is predominantly a lie and should not in any way be allowed to affect how you feel about anything, most of all your personal life.

Most of social media is a show. I know multiple people who look like they have the perfect life on social media, when behind the scenes their life and or marriage is a mess. Some people especially that I just know through others would get drunk and fight all the time when we all would be at gatherings. The wife had multiple affairs and now they are divorced. On Facebook right up until they split they looked like the perfect family. Once we started hanging out in the same circles I saw it was all a lie.

Take it for what it is. A lot of people use social media to put on a good face.

10000000 precent agree!

[jasontoddwhitt]

Re: Anybody find it hard to not compare yourself to others on social media?

The only time I ever really struggle with this is when I'm having a down day, but I've learned to stay off social media on those days. Any more though, I use social media to post dark memes and stuff that stirs the pot...

The reality is social media is just window dressing. I know people who you would think their lives are just the best, but when you hang out in these circles, you see just how screwed up their lives really are.

Kind of like in high school when my mom would always complain about how my best friend's house looked so nice and "our house always looks like a wreck compared to ours." My response was, "Mom, you haven't seen the basement, because that's where they LIVE. The only thing that goes on upstairs is sleeping, eating, and entertaining." They had a finished basement and that's where they basically lived.

[PVarck31]

Re: Anybody find it hard to not compare yourself to others on social media?

I agree with everyone else. Almost all of that stuff is for show. Most likely behind the scenes is a mess.

The only time I get a little jealous or envious is mostly seeing people who make YouTube videos and make millions from it. Especially the ones who flaunt it.

Not just game streaming, but a host of other things. Knowing I could have gotten in on the ground floor of that stuff. It's just hard to compute that some of these people make millions, or hell, even six figures just by making videos when Nurses, teachers, and other first responders, and military for that matter, make crap.

I actually missed an opportunity with YouTube. It's been about 5-6 years now, but I was one of the first people on there who was making videos of opening up sports cards. I ended up with like 150 subs, but just couldn't afford to buy the cards to put out consistent videos. Now it's a huge thing on there.

But I will say that I respect the hustle a lot of these people put forth. It's not easy work. But in the world we live in, if you have something to offer that entertains someone, you have big money potential.

[countryboy]

Re: Anybody find it hard to not compare yourself to others on social media?

Personally I don't do social media anymore, including Facebook, which I just stopped doing a few weeks ago. But even when I was on it, I didn't find myself comparing my life to the lives of others, even if its shown how they wanted the "world" to see it. I'm content with my life, despite the things that didn't go as planned.

I thought that social media was mostly encompassed with two groups of people. Those who portray the perfect life and those that seek pity for the drama they post.

Everyone experiences the trials and tribulations of life, the ups and the downs, and laughter and the tears. No one is exempt.

Just focus on yourself and doing the things in life that allow you to look into the mirror without regret. If you regret something or aren't happy with some part of your life then figure out how to fix it. If you're happy then to hell with what anyone else thinks.

Life may not always be beautiful, but its a beautiful ride so long as you take the road that brings you peace and happiness.

[TheMatrix31]

Re: Anybody find it hard to not compare yourself to others on social media?

The internet is mostly a metastasized cancer that has vastly contributed to the straight up practical collapse of the entire fabric of societal and cultural health and sanity.

People already had a hard time with constantly being told they were special and deserve the world and "you can be anything!" and having unrealistic expectations. Now they immerse themselves in what is tantamount to a fantasy world and think that is all the way things truly are and when their own lives don't happen to reflect the same level of "success" and "happiness" and whatever else, the weakest ones among us have a very, very, very hard time dealing with that. Many take it out on various aspects of their personal lives, or worse.

Heinous failure on all fronts.

[VDusen04]

Re: Anybody find it hard to not compare yourself to others on social media?

No, I don't. I just ignore it because it's not real life. Nobody happy needs to spend their life telling others they're happy, because they're too busy living their life and being happy or at least making an honest go at being happy. Ignore it. I promise you that the vast majority of people you see online, especially those with gorgeously edited photos, are in some way the opposite of what you see.

With sincere respect, I think this is a pretty broad overgeneralization.

This could be my older age talking, but I've approached Facebook as a sort of scrapbook over the course of my life (I joined when I was in college in 2005). Posting pics is kind of all you could do on Facebook to begin with anyway. It doesn't really take much effort to post and it often leads to fun digital interactions.

I've made three Facebook posts since September. One of a chalkboard drawing I created in my classroom, one about 9/11, and one small collage of that time where I actually got to do some things in life when Covid dipped a bit. Each post took a small amount of time to upload and each post resulted in positive or valuable interactions that I enjoyed. There's not much of a correlation between those posts and exactly how happy I am in life.

And even for friends, who shows their photos to their friends via social media? Wouldn't you just send those photos to your friends in a message if you wanted them to see them?

Honestly, sometimes it's way easier and more enjoyable to post a picture on Facebook of something I wanted to share rather than send it to each friend individually. My chalkboard drawing post induced conversations and comments with friends I wouldn't have otherwise sent that pic to, and I enjoyed catching up with them. My 9/11 post led to a pretty deep private conversation about the event with my uncle that neither one of us would have initiated otherwise.

Social media is predominantly a lie and should not in any way be allowed to affect how you feel about anything, most of all your personal life.

I agree that social media should not affect how others feel but I also know that it does, whether people want it to or not. But I don't share the viewpoint that social media is predominantly a lie. Rather, again, I've often seen it more as a virtual scrapbook or photo album. My real life photo albums have some low points (like when I fell off my bike in kindergarten) but by and large they're big events or moments with people I wish to remember. It makes sense that many people's social media presence would similarly skew positive.

At the end of the day, regardless of a poster's motivation, I do think it's important to remember that we're only seeing pieces of other people's lives, so I can vibe with you on that. It's just, I'm not trying to convey some big lie or cancel out my own unhappiness with my posts. Sometimes it's really just about sharing things I think would be fun to share.

[dickey1331]

Re: Anybody find it hard to not compare yourself to others on social media?

One of the most terrible person to ever walk the earth had a fitting quote: Do not compare yourself to others. If you do so, you are insulting yourself.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

[ProfessaPackMan]

Re: Anybody find it hard to not compare yourself to others on social media?

Just stop letting it get to you.

Simplest advice I can give you without typing up a thin piece because it’s really that simple.

[Master Live 013]

Re: Anybody find it hard to not compare yourself to others on social media?

"Just stop letting it get to you."

well, at least we know Pack ain't a psychologist or psychiatrist in real life. If it were only that easy.

I left Facebook years ago (deactivated the account, not deleted) and, in retrospect, it was probably a GREAT decision. Many factors*, it was probably starting to "get to me", but, in my case, the thing it most bothered me was the fakeness of all of it, or at least my perception of everyone trying to "perform" for others.

*And let's not get into the added bonus of leaving that QAnon/propaganda cesspool before it ever got that way.

I'm just not into performing for others. That, and the fact I finally accepted that, in general, I actually don't like people

Like, stuff like people wishing "happy birthdays" to others would bother me Like, yes, there is some total fakery in how some people can go about it, but the heck is wrong with wishing a happy birthday to others? Nothing! I'm just a private, asocial introvert who prefers to stay out of all of that so I'm glad I accept it and decided to go my own way.

Now I'm what I always was, just more pronounced: Quiet, Observant Guy. I like it that way.

My family says I have a "poor's person mentality" and I guess I do, whatever that means. I have what I have and what I don't, well ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

I guess becoming more of a loner was my way of coping with all of it. It is what it is.

[Master Live 013]

Re: Anybody find it hard to not compare yourself to others on social media?

I definitely need to cut down on the ""

[Caulfield]

Re: Anybody find it hard to not compare yourself to others on social media?

whenever you get in one of those funks, try to remember, His Royal Badness wrote Nothing Compares 2 U just for you

[VDusen04]

Re: Anybody find it hard to not compare yourself to others on social media?

Directly relating to the topic (as opposed to my dissertation a couple posts back in defense of people's right to share pictures), I think it's going to be important to step back and think about what works best for you. Social media is anything but one-size-fits-all and I think it's easy to get caught up on the social media treadmill without even realizing it.

For me, I came to a pretty significant realization a few years ago where I noticed my Facebook feed was often leaving me feeling a bit flustered and stressed. Whereas FB used to be just pictures and fun howdy-do's from my fellow college friends at the start, it slowly morphed into this strange entity where suddenly I was seeing my aunt's political conspiracy theories as though I was subscribed to her daily newsletter.

So I curated. A lot.

I tried to get back to what I liked about Facebook in the first place. I didn't unfriend, but I did unsubscribe from most acquaintances. I figure it's possible to want to retain a modest connection with someone without feeling the need to read their thoughts on whatever political hot button issue has pushed its way to the forefront. What's left are the people I like hearing from posting things that either bring me joy or at worst, leave me feeling neutral.

If nothing's bringing you joy on social media or offering anything of substance (or if it's just a net negative when it's all said and done) I'd highly recommend stepping away, at least for a little while. I understand societal norms have tried to push everyone into this belief that a social media presence is an expectation, but it doesn't have to be, and I think many more folks are slowly beginning to figure that out.