The damage that online social media can do to you is becoming apparent

**Ghost Of The Year** · 09-14-2022, 12:45 PM

Re: The damage that online social media can do to you is becoming apparent

I'm 52 to, I realized back in 2000 the Internet is toxic. Moderation in all things, as good advice as one gets.

**ODogg** · 09-14-2022, 03:03 PM

Re: The damage that online social media can do to you is becoming apparent

Originally posted by Ghost Of The Year

I'm 52 to, I realized back in 2000 the Internet is toxic. Moderation in all things, as good advice as one gets.

Yeah I realized this about a year ago, that I was sort of feeling more anxious when using social media. So I spoke to my therapist about it and in just a few sentences she made a point I hadn't realized. That you will reap what you sow in regards to how you present yourself.

Foolishly I thought making competent, logical arguments would yield good debate. Not really the case at all most of the time.

**DamnYanks2** · 09-14-2022, 03:18 PM

Re: The damage that online social media can do to you is becoming apparent

Social media is trash and has led to a decline in the moral fiber of society. People say stuff online they wouldn't say in reality to someone. Social media is more fantasy then reality and I was a much happier person when I got rid of it.

And unlike OS. Most of these sites are poorly moderated. But you don't realize all of this until you get older. Some of these sites helped me get laid but that's all they were good for.

Once I hit 30 I got sick of hearing all the drama and nonsense people post. It's just not a good idea to have a gateway to where people post their every emotion and current feelings and everyone can see it.

Sent from my SM-G991U using Tapatalk

**Master Live 013** · 09-14-2022, 08:04 PM

Re: The damage that online social media can do to you is becoming apparent

Well, the answer for me was indeed leaving (Facebook). Similar feelings of anxiety as you describe and deactivating my FB account was a good decision for me, such a weight lifted from my shoulders. This was at least 5 years ago, closer to 10 I would say.

I still remain on Twitter, which is a good source of news if you know what you are doing. Social media is tool, be mindful of how you use it, control it and don’t let it control you.

And yes, people say stuff to each other on the internet that they wouldn’t dare say in real life. I would like to believe that people can see how that can be a good thing in certain contexts. Like speaking truth to power and/or just “need(ing) to say what needed to be said”. That’s not always the case (understatement), there is abuse/trolling/harassment, but that’s what the block button (among other things) is for.

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**Jr.** · 09-15-2022, 02:10 AM

Re: The damage that online social media can do to you is becoming apparent

Watch The Social Dilemma. It goes through the impact of social media very well.

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**ODogg** · 09-15-2022, 10:44 AM

Re: The damage that online social media can do to you is becoming apparent

Originally posted by Jr.

Watch The Social Dilemma. It goes through the impact of social media very well.

Sent from my SM-G970U using Operation Sports mobile app

OH yeah! We watched that and HOLY COW! We had a foster teen girl at the time who was severely addicted to social media so that is why we watched it.

That movie was the first inkling to me that maybe it was affecting me as well. But it wasn't until I got a psychotherapist to try to get to the root of my severe anxiety that I figured out that maybe 30% of my anxiety or so was from social media.

I've only been doing what I said, only being nice to folks and not posting anything other than cat pics or food pics (LOL) for a couple of weeks now but so much less anxiety going to Facebook and not seeing any horrible attacks!!

**baumy300** · 09-15-2022, 05:27 PM

Re: The damage that online social media can do to you is becoming apparent

First off, congratulations on breaking the conditioning ODogg. Not everyone can, does, or even wants to. That's a big first step. Even though it is hard to top DamnYanks post, I will build off it.

For starters, I don't even like you ODogg, but now I respect you, and I would rather be respected than liked every time. It takes balls to admit what you did. So now I feel obligated to respond. It sounds like you have realized the true purpose of the disease we know as social media, which is simply here for no other reason than to emasculate you and create a dopamine loop that feeds off of approval and words of affirmation by strangers you don't even know. This conditions you to accept and participate in group think or the "current thing" in a desperate attempt to conform or fit in. We seek those likes or small confirmations from others to reassure ourselves we believe the right things and act the right way, because we are either insecure or lacking the confidence to go against the grain for no other purpose than it doesn't fit our perception of X topic.

It's okay, it's not you just or anyone else, I've been there too. Sometimes you need to be. If you've ever been interested in a girl, maybe even a few, and start sniffin their *** a little you will realize you almost always need some form of social media presence. If you don't have one, they think you are weird or a catfish if you're using an app, so you have to post on Snapchat or Facebook, maybe take a selfie or gym pic just to play their game, even if you hate it. It gets us all, so there is no shame in admitting it. There is only shame in denying it and continuing.

So these girls, these e-thots, they drive social media. They got grown men making TikToks or other videos behaving like pathetic tryhards just for attention. Grown men ODogg, acting like pathetic husks of a person, all to try and earn some superficial attention from strangers so they can feel better about themselves until the next hour when they need more attention but can't top their last production. Imagine the low value one must have to continue this behavior, and the way they present themselves to the world like a beggar, clamoring for affection. Our ancestors used to be warriors and hunters, now we have been reduced to a virtual serf class hunting for likes, comments, and kind words to fill our shallow sense of worth. But not you bro, not now, not anymore. You see the toxic feedback loop that is designed to illicit these kinds of feelings.

Don't believe me? There is a video out there of the guy who owns/owned the Warriors. He used to be a big part of Facebook and talks about how they designed it to exploit us and our feelings, showing us only the highlights of other peoples fake/cherry picked lives for no other reason than to manipulate or control how we feel. In short, it can mess with you if you use it and let it. And don't even get me started with what social media has done to relationships...

People now live their entire lives around social media, and we all know a few. People who will tell you they love to hike, so you drive an hour to a trail and they're literally 2-3 minutes in before wanting to take a picture and leave. I've had this happen more than once, and I realized it's not about a hike or the experience, it's about making people think you hiked and had an experience, and about the attention and reaffirmation you can get like "OMG BEAUTIFUL YOU LOOK SO CUTE OUT IN THE WOODS IN YOUR LITTLE OUTFIT!!! XOXOXO" or their DM's blow up with "Ayye girl you lookin good, hit me up after that hike bb". That's trash ODogg, that's trash and that's our newfound culture. We are a weak era of people with too many insecurities and self doubt problems that either never existed or exploded in the last decade. But not you, you get it now. You can only fix something when you recognize it, and many don't have the courage to face it, let alone fix it. But not you.

Don't ever look back, and don't miss the laughable virtue signaling and desperate pleas for attention by our peers. Pity them, but do not emulate them, for they are slaves to a system. They are not a free people like you are today ODogg, their shackles are still bound. If you are going to keep a social media account, use it as a joke like I do. I used to have a Twitter and even got a DM from Lenny Dykstra after a while and we started talking more. I did get perma-nuked though after we made fun of Liz Cheney and Nancy Pelosi like a couple of savages but Uncle Lenny came out unscathed and that's what counts.

In short, social media is truly the worst thing to ever have happened to this world. It really is, and I won't go down that rabbit hole, but it is here only to make our lives worse. We can argue if that is on purpose or not (it is) but at the end of the day it doesn't matter because the results are the same either way. Social media serves to demoralize us, to bring us down, and that is a stated fact. Never forget this.

So here's what you do bro. You go out and you reclaim your manhood. You go and buy a gun, and learn to shoot it. You need to feel dangerous, like a man, so you believe it deep down. Doing so will subconsciously force others to see you as such, and respect you more for it. if you can't get a gun, learn to box. Even if you can get a gun, still learn to box. You don't have to spar, but learn to throw hands. You also get to the gym and you start focusing on building discipline and your body, so you can build yourself up inside and outside. You are free as of now, you have taken the first step into seeing past the curtains, which starts with social media. You are 52, so you are almost guaranteed to be losing testosterone, which is normal. Start taking the over the counter pills, 4 a day, to give you a boost, and start shaping who you are, which is not an NPC influenced by everyone elses opinion, but rather your own beliefs. Be grateful you are awake and coming to terms with the fraud that has been perpetrated on us by big tech. You might think I'm joking, but I'm being dead serious. Masculinity is sacred, and you are sacred. Don't dishonor yourself, better yourself.

Go for it ODogg, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain. I want to see you improve in everything you do, and hit the gym like a madman, building your confidence to the point that hopefully someday my girl walks in and says "Sorry baumy, but things aren't working out. Besides, I'm ODogg's little slam piggy now". That's what I want to see bro, I want you to continue your enlightenment and fight for yourself because you're worth it.

We get one shot my dude, so even though we can't change our fate, we can rise to meet it.

Now get out there and thank God you have been reborn aware, and hold your head high, because you have earned it. You are on the first step of an incredible journey, so go take back everything you feel was lost and never doubt yourself again you marvelous son of a *****.

You're free now, you got this.

**ODogg** · 09-16-2022, 11:15 AM

Re: The damage that online social media can do to you is becoming apparent

Originally posted by baumy300

First off, congratulations on breaking the conditioning ODogg. Not everyone can, does, or even wants to. That's a big first step. Even though it is hard to top DamnYanks post, I will build off it.

For starters, I don't even like you ODogg, but now I respect you, and I would rather be respected than liked every time. It takes balls to admit what you did. So now I feel obligated to respond. It sounds like you have realized the true purpose of the disease we know as social media, which is simply here for no other reason than to emasculate you and create a dopamine loop that feeds off of approval and words of affirmation by strangers you don't even know. This conditions you to accept and participate in group think or the "current thing" in a desperate attempt to conform or fit in. We seek those likes or small confirmations from others to reassure ourselves we believe the right things and act the right way, because we are either insecure or lacking the confidence to go against the grain for no other purpose than it doesn't fit our perception of X topic.

Wow, I read your entire post, very insightful. I am in agreement with a lot of what you say, although not sure it's an intention of social media, the end result is where we are, with, exactly as you say, people are clinging to a facade of a life to illicit approval.

I think my therapist for helping me to realize this. I think I would have come to the same conclusion eventually but I was sort of having trouble making that leap.

I am 52 and I have just turned a proverbial corner in my view on the world. First of all, I am tired of people taking "sides" as if each topic, whether it's bologna sandwiches or the Pope, on each and every issue.

Everything now is team oriented, what team are you on??

There are no more shades of gray, no more variance in tone or emotion, only group, or team speak and thought. The individual is not something to be celebrated but denigrated.

What prompted all of this angst and insight to my current situation? A simple post in a PC forum about a mouse I reviewed. My post in a PC forum was about 5 paragraphs talking about the mouse and illicited nearly 300 comments, of which about 80% were taking me to task for how my review was "too long".

I didn't feel anger or sadness towards the people for attacking me.

Instead, I felt puzzlement as to why anyone in their right mind would be proud to say they don't like to read and five paragraphs was "too much".

The world, at least how it is presented on social media, is upside down right now with people proud to be ignorant and willfully resistant to embracing any sort of intellectual thought. It must be group think and you must act as if you are part of the herd, even when you are not.

I stand alone, a character of my own making, someone who nearly had a bit of a meltdown over whether to join the said herd, and feel compliant and happy in those chains of dumbing myself down for the group. Or should I embrace my "weirdness" in relation to my way of thinking for myself and acting what many might call too uppity or too "smart".

It's not anger or apathy towards people like me that the people online feel, it's fear. They fear individual thought and someone who simply does not care what the herd wants, where its headed or what it considers the "sacred cows" that one must not violate.

This temporary mini-crisis that I had was dutifully resolved by my insight into the fact that yes I am different. I can write, I can think outside of the box and I offer insights that many people feel completely uncomfortable about.

And none of that is a bad thing.

Without individual thinkers, if we have total group think, we all must be as dumb as the lowest common denominator in the heard. And that, to me, is completely unacceptable.

In my view we need more Elon Musks, the weirdos who are smart and think different. They are who drives the human race to greater heights, not dumb us down as the herd wants to do.

I would rather be ostracized for who I am than become someone I am not for approval that is insincere and from strangers that I do not know, nor ever care to know. That is difficult in practice but easy to write and to know once I figured it out. And once you practice it, the feeling of liberation is immense.

Now as for me, and some of the things you say in your comments that you should know.

Yes I am 52 and having survived testicular cancer my body produces very little testosterone. I am on testosterone shots for the rest of my life. It is monitored quite closely by my doctors (I see multiple doctors on a regular basis as treatment to avoid a relapse of cancer)

I am in the best shape of my life thanks to resolving my mental health issues and that included abusing food. I have lost about 100 pounds and at 6 foot tall and 217 pounds I am within about 30 pounds of my ideal, normal weight. I also no longer drink thanks to medicinal marijuana and therapy which have helped me to control my demons and at times almost crippling anxiety.

I am currently in psychotherapy and have been for about 6 months. I have used general therapy for about 4 years now. I am happily married to a wife that is beautiful, as smart as me and is 11 years younger. We have a great marriage and yes we spend a lot of time having discussions about issues like this. We tried to have children but failed, even tried IVF which we are still paying for but we are ok with that and plan to travel some once we retire.

My insight, or ephinany, if you will, is that I do not need to box or do anything physical to be a man, or masculine. I am 100% confident now in who I am and what I consider to be my strengths (intellectual thought, a problem solver, someone who believes in equality and justice) and my weaknesses (having been raised with no men in my life I tend to be more endearing to a ****** perspective which may or may not be a weakness to people, but to most men is considered a weakness).

I have found inner peace (which I realize sounds corny) by being able to act in a Christian manner - btw I am not Christian, and that means turning the other cheek many times daily, both in person and online.

This does not mean I am weak. It means I am selective and pick my battles accordingly. I will confront anyone who I think needs confronted, especially those who try to bully, or run over, those weaker than themselves.

However my goal in life now is to achieve happiness for my wife and I and try to bring happiness to all those I interact with in the best possible way. So confrontations or engagements with hostile people should be minimal and only when necessary. This is especially applicable online where the goal of many seems to be to "win" discussions instead of engage the other person in thoughtful dialogue. And when one cannot win then the goal is to destroy the other persons moral and soul, which is an insidious side effect of social media unfortunately. Sadly many of those folks engaging in it do not even realize this and just do it as a form of habit.

Many people online are not able to be helped. It's very clear when you see them. All they are doing is looking for validation themselves that they will never find. And since they do not find it they become meaner and more vicious trying to find it. They will savagely attack even the best of people hoping to finally get that validation that they are "the winner" in any online interaction. That attitude can destroy others but it rots your soul from the inside and it festers and grows and ruins people.

I compared it online to setting off a bomb that destroys the other person into nothingness but also blows off part of your legs. Sure you "won" but look at you now, unable to walk. Best analogy I can think of. That's social media in a nutshell for many.

When I started this new relationship with social media I did not know if I could follow one simple principle:

Bring happiness, or hope, to all that I interact with in any way that I can.

And to those that I cannot reach I simply do not engage with. If they choose to engage with me I simply do not engage, no matter how they try to bait me into doing so.

It wasn't easy at first but it is now and it's only been weeks.

I am an individual. I am unique and unlike anyone else. I belong to many groups, on all spectrums. No one else is like me. I do not belong to any herd except the human herd.

I feel as if I have turned a major corner and in the span of just a few months my life has changed, significantly. I hope this means I can live longer to experience life with my beautiful wife Stefanie.

Either way I think that the remaining years of my life on this planet will be far better than the first 51 years on it.

**ODogg** · 09-16-2022, 11:16 AM

Re: The damage that online social media can do to you is becoming apparent

Also, yes I can write a lot, LOL!! I know that may bother some folks, LOL, if so I apologize. That's me, that's just how I do.

I can summarize it here for those folks: I'm far happier with less social media

**kehlis** · 09-16-2022, 02:13 PM

Re: The damage that online social media can do to you is becoming apparent

You and Blzer are for sure 1a and 1b when it comes to long posts.

**ODogg** · 09-16-2022, 02:22 PM

Re: The damage that online social media can do to you is becoming apparent

Originally posted by kehlis

You and Blzer are for sure 1a and 1b when it comes to long posts.

I actually got penalized in high school for too long of essays so I had to start asking what was the MAX rather than the minimum. No joke

**nc0ffey** · 09-16-2022, 08:27 PM

Re: The damage that online social media can do to you is becoming apparent

If you think FB and Twitter are bad, you should see the **** people post on Yelp!

**kehlis** · 09-16-2022, 08:30 PM

Re: The damage that online social media can do to you is becoming apparent

Originally posted by CoffeyN

If you think FB and Twitter are bad, you should see the **** people post on Yelp!

High alert for post of the year.

**mike24forever** · 09-16-2022, 08:43 PM

Re: The damage that online social media can do to you is becoming apparent

Originally posted by CoffeyN

If you think FB and Twitter are bad, you should see the **** people post on Yelp!

Amazing. No words.

The damage that online social media can do to you is becoming apparent

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