[OBinKC]

Vandals Hire Fitzkennedy
Idaho native brings a wealth of high school experience
by Rich Sansky March 2, 2019 3:45pm


Moscow, ID — The new head coach of the Vandals was announced today in a press conference open to the media. Pat Fitzkennedy becomes the new guy to try and dig this program out of the ever growing hole in which it has been falling. In the presser, he tried to make things short and sweet. But he was met with more questions than he hoped, it seemed.


Fitzkennedy: Good morning! First off, I’d like to thank President Green and Director Hammerschmidt for this opportunity. Idaho football runs deep in my family’s blood, and it will be my mission to bring it to prominence. I won’t let any of you down.


Now I recognize some of you and I’m sure most if not all of you know me, so I’m going to cut to brass tacks. I want to bring hard-nosed football to the Palouse and to the college football world! Everybody wants to run this wide open offense, but what happens when you’re outmatched? You still lose. It’s still football no matter what you run. That’s why my focus is going to be on.... wait for it.... defense!! We will put pressure on our opponents and take them out of their element. We will employ a triple option attack from the spread on the other side and keep their opportunities to score rare and precious, forcing even more pressure on them! I envision the second coming of the ‘85 Bears terrorizing opponents in the Kibbie Dome in a few years!! But we have to build. Build aggressive yet disciplined players who believe we can shock the world!!


I’ve pretty much stated all that there can be said at this point in time. The work hasn’t even been started yet so there’s not much left to say. But I’m open to questions in case I’ve missed something.


Press: What makes you think defense can win in today’s climate where even Alabama knows they need offense to win now?


Fitz: Do you think I won all of those state titles because I ran the Wing T? Of course not. It was our defense and ball control and nobody could beat us! It’s still possible to win in this game by simply beating the guy across from you. That’s what football still is.


Press: (smiling) Will we be seeing any Wing T from the Vandals? (room erupts in laughter)


Fitz: (mocking laugh) Yeah, that’s funny. It’ll be even funnier when we are hoisting the National Championship trophy while we are riding down Main Street with confetti everywhere and...... ok, yes you might see some Wing T. Next question.


Press: What makes you think you can do any better than Paul Petrino given what he had to work with in terms of resources and whatnot?


Fitz: With all due respect to coach Petrino and his obvious coaching experience, he hasn’t built anything here. And I can understand that in some regards. The pressure is on so much to win now that you barely have time to build a true foundation. I’ll give it to you straight up. We’ll be obsessed with building this year and it probably won’t translate to wins. But would you rather be playing in bowl games regularly within a matter of years or would you rather be stuck in the Big Sky Conference struggling against Montana in the same amount of time anyway?


Press: Ok, you say you’re going to do all of these things, having these grand visions and plans, but haven’t given any indication of how you’re actually going to do that. Do you even have a plan?


Fitz: Let me leave you with this - a quote from the Drill Instructor’s Creed: “These recruits are entrusted to my care. I will train them to the best of my ability. I will develop them into smartly disciplined, physically fit, basically trained Marines, thoroughly indoctrinated in love of the Corps and country.”


And with that, he exited the room full of puzzled press members.