Reading through the edited OP.
If you're throwing 85+ pitches per start, I'd say that's about on par. In my experience, when the STA bar hits yellow they're at or past their STA (effective pitch count). Loss of command is expected in that case. As far as the 8+ pitch at bat goes you just need to expand the zone more, then come back in quicker. If he fouls 2 or 3 off, make better adjustments or don't listen to your catcher.