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Coach JDizL's Panhandle Pythons
This is a discussion on Coach JDizL's Panhandle Pythons within the Dynasty HQ forums.
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02-11-2009, 10:43 PM | #33 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Re: Coach JDizL's Panhandle Pythons
Mile High Miracle? -AP Home to some of Denver's most memorable games, Mile High Stadium is one of the more historic stadiums to feature the sport. Names like Elway, Sharpe, Davis and Jackson come to mind for the Bronco squad when thinking of the team's glory years... names like Plummer perk up when looking at the team's recent woes. Acting Quarterback Jay Cutler looks to change all that as he captains a team known for it's "plug-and-play" style running attack which only bolsters the cannon-arm of the man; the defense, still looking for an group identity despite big time figures like Champ Bailey and Dre Bly roaming the Bronco secondary. What does this have to do with the Panhandle Pythons, visitors/witnesses to Colorado Football glory? Only that the league, despite wins against up-and-coming or reloading NFC squads, is providing a challenge and not a history lesson.
Beginning with the Pythons uncharacteristically defering the ball to get field position in the 1st quarter, fans were privy to an air-show orchestrated by Quarterback Jay Cutler and Runningback Travis Henry. The scene was similar to most starts for the Pythons with the opposing team going long early to test their secondary as they tried to get the lead. Fortunately for the Panhandlers, all the bluster was for naught as the Broncos had to settle for an astonishing 54-yard field goal against the wind.
Made up of Runningbacks J.D. Frazier, A.R. Boatang and Fullback Patrick Roth, the three-head rushing attack worked wonders for their team as the trio seemed unstoppable while gaining ground against a defense that some touted one of the best in the league at the time. The end result for their efforts? A play-action, run-for-your life pass ran by none other than Marques Tuiasosopo; the same man who was benched early for his seemingly endless fascination with throwing interceptions... ...however, before a defender got close enough to crush his appendix, 'Tui' got the ball to a streaking Blake Kolumber for a touchdown. Back on defense, the Pythons looked to keep the Broncos on the lower end of the scoring totem poll, rushing the passer with reckless intent as they forced an incomplete pass, a tackle for loss of yardage and the always fun, Quarterback Sack to end Denver's offensive run for the quarter.
-Good thing they don't allow katanas in American Football Upon getting the ball back in the second quarter, J.D. Frazier got bit by the "Karma Fairy" for his comments said during the Green Bay game as A.R. Boatang was sidelined temporary with a minor injury. The prognosis? Elbow Bursitis, loss of a quarter of play. Lamont Sanford, kicker for the Pythons made sure to get his team on the board again with a field goal soon afterward to make the game 10-3. The defense fared slightly better as Jay Cutler threw not 1, not 2 but FIVE incompletes and was put on his a$$ again, turning the ball back over to the visiting team.
Coach JDizL's Half-Time Speech Attention to detail is a funny thing gentlemen... if one doesn't believe in such a thing, society will either shun them or consider them to be 'free-spirited' and 'non-conforming.' Those terms may seem like bullsh!t to most, including some of you but believe me, it's important. By picking some of you poor souls of the bench on defense, we've set a precedent out there against Denver, men. That we're will to use whomever, wherever to make sure that no team scores on us again. Yes, they've made a field goal but the newspapers have said that the Broncos were supposed to have a high-powered offense; that they were supposed to put up "at least 50" on you guys before halftime... I don't see that, do you? Keep up the good work defense and maybe, just maybe, one of you will be looking at Defensive MVP honors again this week. 'Tui', I'm going to let you put in at least one more series of work in before Nixon goes in for the rest of the game; I want to see what the kid can do when the game's on an enemy field again. Kolumber, you and Krul will swap sides on offense so he can get some catches in finally... I know it'll fxck with your numbers, but if you want to win... and possibly get signed by another team next season... you'll have to suck it up. And as for you grunts on O-Line duty, keep up the good work also and I guarantee the finest steaks Colorado has to offer this evening when we win. Hands in men, we've got a game to win! In the 3rd Quarter, J.D. Frazier returned to the game despite team doctors wanting to rest him a little more and allow for A.R. Boatang and even Justise Hairston to get a few reps in his place. Not so for the Runningback from Tabacco Road as he was quick to head in with a full head of steam... unfortuately the man wasn't ready yet as he failed to convert a 3rd and 2 play. Undiscouraged, his Coach threw a rare challenge flag to dispute the placement by the referees in an effort to help his dinged-up player but to no avail. On defense, Linebacker MGo Blue continued his reign of destruction against Denver as he recorded his third sack of the day.
-Little did he know of the hurt to come...or how many candybars he'd purchase. But just as things were starting to look up again for the rag-tag bunch, reciever Brandon Marshall emerged from whatever cave he was hiding in to score a touchdown, weaving through 3 tackles to reach the endzone.
All members of the Pythons Goalline defense had pitched a stand against the Broncos, earning a chorus of boos by the home crowd...which quickly turned to cheers on 4th down as Coach Shannahan decided to go for it. The result? Runningback Travis Henry nearly walking in for a touchdown untouched, save for a bowled-over Zach Swarts.
Starting with back-up Tight End Tim Euhus' wise decision to let a Denver squib kick bounce right past him, on-route to going out of bounds, drawing all ire on the Home Team and earning a spot at the Pythons' 40-yard line. Following Euhus' part of the plan, Quarterback Tuiasosopo, still in the game, bombed another pass to his reciever... this time to near-forgotten Team Captain Krulmichael.
With no time left on the clock and the ball placed on the field by Ralph Nixon, Sanford booted his team to victory with a last-chance field goal.
Coach DizL's Post-Game Speech Frazier, you pull a stunt like that again and I'll put a permanent hurt on that bum elbow of yours... but bless ya for keeping us in this game for the most part. Offense, good work. Defense, damn good work in the first half. MGo Blue, you need a damn medal. Get ready for next week gentlemen... more work, less play means we all put the everyone in front of us into the ground. I like that idea, don't you? Last edited by JayDizzle04; 02-12-2009 at 01:50 PM. |
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02-12-2009, 07:54 PM | #34 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Re: Coach JDizL's Panhandle Pythons
Python Players: "Play Me or Trade Me!" -Courtesy of ESPN's Ed Werder With the NFL Trade Deadline looming, the Panhandle Pythons are faced with a decision that plagues most teams in the league; temporary or not. Do they dump players that otherwise aren't producing well or do they sell high on some of their best in hopes of getting a better return? For some of the players on the team, the chance to prove that they fit in the league has been hampered by their coach's need to put the best he has on the field at one time; and it shows: J.D. Frazier, star runningback for the Panhandlers, has almost totaled 100 carries alone compared to 2nd-string RB A.R. Boatang's 18. Dropping even further is rookie Justise Hairston with a whopping one carry despite multiple chances to rest other players when the Pythons were ahead in games. Another disheartening figure lies within the recieving core as Blake Kolumber, a former trouble-maker on and off the field, is leading the pack with 4 touchdowns compared to supposed Team Captain Krulmichael's solo TD. -Is Kolumber equal to the Cowboy's Terrell Owens? Some seem to think so. When asked why they weren't figuring more into the Pythons' offense, #3 WR BDawg was paraphrased as saying:
Defensive ends Travis Jordison and Dan Borowski seemed upset at the notion that they were being left out of certain packages when playing against other teams on the field, quoting that:
-Most on the players feel a little left out these days Whatever the case may be, it looks like trouble in the NFC for the Pythons. |
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02-20-2009, 03:01 AM | #35 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Missed Opportunities
-AP Playing in their "home" stadium has become somewhat of a good luck charm for the Panhandle Pythons six games into the season. Never coming within 7 points of defeat whenever other teams had come calling, NFL fans across the country are starting to form their own theories as to why the team has such a hot streak. Their passing game comes up more "famine" than "feast" at times, especially with the reins being handled by the turnover-prone Quarterback Marques Tuiasosopo. As for the running game, aside from the forgotten rookie Justise Hairston, it's impossible to pin who exactly gets the most carries in per week; furthermore, it may not even matter so much as when one player gets more touches, another tends to earn more yardage. One thing is for sure though, whomever the Pythons face, the result usually leans in their favor. Playing within the confines of the "Sunshine Dome," the team had to host a struggling Carolina Panthers squad treading water early at 2-3, hoping to get to .500 before mid-season; undeterred, the Panhandlers saw another opportunity to put a damper on their opponent's hopes. -Dome Sweet Dome Things looked hopeful indeed for Carolina, forcing a premature 3-and-out as the Pythons tested their rushing attack against the Panthers' front seven and Defensive End Julius Peppers. Returning the favor, the Home Team defense put the breaks on their opponent's passing game, specifically with an interception by Team Captain Bringin Pain. After a quick field goal by Kicker Lamont Sanford, the Python defense continued their squeeze as Cornerback Heelwxman put the clamps on the left side of the field while he fellow defensive front seven began to make mincemeat out of Carolina's DeAngelo Williams.
Following the bad play of the offense, the defense stepped up their game (as they've been prone to do) to get the ball back into their counterpart's hands; During a series that ended with a play-action call, Defensive End Jay Burton and Linebacker Bringin Pain teamed up to strip the ball from opposing QB Jake Delhomme. However, it would be the Special Teams Unit that would put more points on the board for the Panhandlers as Tuiasosospo reared his mistake-prone play and cost his team a touchdown drive... we here in the pressbox couldn't hear ourselves type as a thundering chorus of boos showered Kicker Sanford even though he was one of the top scorers for the team and best kickers in the NFL as of this writing... ...Sanford silenced his "fans" by crushing a 57-yarder right between the uprights.
Tuiasosopo would follow up with another aborted drive, forcing his coach to settle for 3 points again and making his defense do all the heavy lifting by default. Cornerback Dope Nose would help shoulder that load going into the half as he blanketed Carolina Reciever Steve Smith, allowing for a botched field goal by kicker John Kasay. Coach DizL's Halftime Speech A wise man once said that "...in the face of adversity, one must muster the courage to face his enemies in battle regardless of consequence." The consequence here gentlemen is that our offense is yet again pulling their "Jekel and Hyde" routine for the season... now I can't make any of you want to win out there, nor can I force a miraculous performance out of a piss-poor job against simple defensive coverages. The Panthers aren't gods on that field and neither are the other teams we've faced or will face and it will take your COURAGE to prove that point... Tui, you are the living epitomy of what this team does NOT want when going forward. You're selfish when it comes to holding onto the ball when you know your check-down man is open; you simply refuse to stick to your routes when faced with less than a full pass rush, if any; and further more, you neglect your other recievers when they are killing themselves to get open. If it were up to me, I'd put Nixon in there and be done with it but the Front Office here...they want to keep you in because your play puts butts in the seats; so if I were you, I'd shape the fuck up before the game clock hits triple-zeroes tonight OR ELSE. Defense, you know what letting too many touchdowns go by your heads will do to your playtime here. Don't let it happen again if you can help it. Help each other gentlemen and you will face the Panther adversity and hopefully...no, I GUARANTEE your combined courage will tender positive consequence. Now put your hands in and get yourselves that win. Mirroring the dying minutes of the second quarter, Heelswxman showed up again, this time putting his shoulder to good use as the now-fatigued DeAngelo Williams coughed up the ball yet again. Linebacker Jorge Cordova was sure in adding to his defensive totals, scooping up the loose football. -Not shown: Williams' fumbling tendency when looked at funny... Uncharacteristically getting his team within spitting distance of the goalline, Tuiasosopo was sure to hand the ball to lead rusher J.D. Frazier as the runningback skirted past the Panther defense for six... ...points made possible by little known reciever BDawg catching within the Carolina 1-yardline.
But like clockwork, the offensive woes remained the same as Reciever BDawg was on the wrong end of a 3-on-1 mugging by the Panther secondary, victimized while trying to catch a touchdown. Having seen enough after Sanford put the team ahead 22-to-7, Quarterback Ralph Nixon was sent in to "spell" Tuiasosopo. Following suit were back-ups and second-stringers A.R. Boatang, Sebastian Harrison, Joel Filani, and Chris Hannon to take over for the rest of the game.
Reciever Sebastian Harrison would bobble his chances at getting on the Panhandler's stat sheet at the start of the 4th quarter, citing "rustiness from not being on the field" and "anxiety" as the cause. The poor luck wouldn't stop for the Pythons as Ralph Nixon threw an ill-advised pass right to Cornerback Chris Gamble for a go-ahead INT Touchdown... but the celebration would be delayed as Dope Nose took it upon himself to stop DeAngelo Williams on a two-point conversion try.
The defense would take over for the remainder of the game as Defensive End Jay Burton displayed his talent for hurting people by sacking Delhomme for a loss just before the 2-minute warning.
With :03 left on the game clock, Carolina could not get back to their line in time to get a final play off. -A moment of silence for John Fox's horrible luck Final Score - 32-23. Coach DizL's Post-Game Speech It takes a strong man to admit when he's defeated, even in victory men... The media, ESPN and the rest of the sporting world will see today as a victory for us; merchandise will sell even higher now; and there's no doubt in my mind that some 10-year-old punk kid out there is thinking that he wants to be the next "Heelswxman." But you all better look in the mirror guys, specifically those on offense today, because Thirty-two to Twenty-three doesn't mean a whole hell of a lot when more than half your total comes from your kicker. I will not apologize to the head office when they ask me why Blake Kolumber and "Team Captain" Krulmichael can't get more passes thrown their way because we all know the answer why... Tui, you're here by benched until further notice and if you want to argue that fact, you can write to the team owner because I have never seen such shitty play come from that many Red Zone chances... hell, from that many turnovers! The defense, despite Hackett's bomb, produced ten times the effort today and you just refused to take a part of their success. I hope you learn something because the Seahawks won't be so giving... to any of you. Now hit the showers and get ready to practice later on this week. |
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02-22-2009, 12:38 PM | #36 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Terms of Endearment -AP Despite the public rumblings from the locker room, the Panhandle Pythons continued their winning ways this past week; a sure sign that things were looking up. Or were they? Sources from within the organization confirmed just yesterday that the Panhandle Pythons plan to sit beleaguered quarterback Marques Tuiasosopo despite the majority of his efforts resulting in wins. When asked to comment, the team's gunslinger replied only with:
It's been also said that Team Captain and #1 reciever Krulmichael has been making waves within the Owner, specifying that he hasn't gotten enough attention on the field as of late. -Old news? Statistically, he'll get no argument as his Coach and playing staff have stuck to a "run more, pass when needed" style on Sundays, with more touches going to the runningbacks. When questioned about his recent disappointment in the team, Krulmichael's new agent and renowned stickler Drew Rosenhaus stood in and remarked:
-May need to get this fitted in black and green soon... Last edited by JayDizzle04; 02-22-2009 at 12:43 PM. |
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02-22-2009, 01:21 PM | #37 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Re: Coach JDizL's Panhandle Pythons
TNT -AP Week 7 arrives with the prospect of a explosive matchup in the NFC... 4-and-1 Seattle comes into town to face a 5-and-1-and-angry Panhandle Pythons squad. Boasting only two losses between each other, the road to the mid-season sees both teams' defenses looking to shut down their opponent's main strength early. For the Seahawks, it may be as simple as containing head runningback J.D. Frazier as he continues to dazzle with his smashmouth style and no-nonsense attitude to the game. Of course, even if that were to happen, there's still the possibility of either Fullback Patrick Roth or Backup A.R. Boatang picking up the slack with their talents in rushing and recieving from any point on the field. For the Pythons, they simply have to face the 7th ranked defense in the league; one that's stifled the streaking five-and-one San Francisco 49ers to just 6 points in Week 2 and took the wind from the defending Super Bowl Champions' sails, leaving the New York Giants at just 17. When quoted from a recent team practice, Team Captain and Middle Linebacker Lofa Tatupu had said that:
-Ralph Nixon isn't looking forward to this... In rebuttal, team Free Safety and Verbal Loose Cannon Andre Brisita was more than adamant to share his thoughts:
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02-28-2009, 02:06 AM | #38 | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
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Got a Plan B? -AP Hyped as one of the early "must-see" NFC match-ups this season, the confrontation between the visiting Seattle Seahawks and the Panhandle Pythons had left much to the imagination. Seattle, like the Pythons, was more known for their defensive prowess moreso than offense, touting a squad within the NFL's Top-10. Likewise, the Panhandlers were holding their own for the time being with top honors in collective categories of run and pass defense; statistically at least. This started as usual for the Pythons, taking out most of their frustrations from the week on their opponent's quarterback with Defensive Tackle Jack Kidd forcing and recovering a fumble from QB Matt Hasselbeck. Kidd's offensive counterparts were sure not to let his efforts go to waste, taking a short drive into the endzone... but not without an early snag: According one of the head officials, Reciever Blake Kolumber had fumbled the ball at the Seahawks one-yard line while trying to maintain possession... luckily, the quick thinking of the team's coach had led to an overturning of the same call, leading to a J.D. Frazier touchdown.
Finishing the 1st Quarter however would prove tough as new starting QB Ralph Nixon was put through his paces early, failing to convert a 3rd-and-4 passing attempt as his Tight End Dominique Byrd couldn't hold onto the ball.
-Julius Jones, thinking of how he'll embarass the Pythons...
But true to most games, the defense would be up to the task of carrying their team as the Pythons shored up against the Seahawks' insistance at the "run-play, run-play, passing down" method of play calling, stifling Julius Jones and shutting down a bomb to Seattle Wide Reciever Bobby Engram...
Coach DizL's Half-Time Speech Our faith has been called into question here men. We're down by four despite their best efforts to keep us down and our efforts to keep us up on the board. This cannot stand gentlemen and I think you all know what time it is when situations like this occur... It's the time to dig deep despite what you may think about yourselves and each other because that logo on your helmet means a hell of a lot more to us then the 31 other teams in this league; to the commissioner who never thought you'd even make it this far; and to those mooks in the stands that drove all the way down here to see their team kick your a$$. You can't let that logo down because when you put on your pads and strap on those helmets, it's what you represent out there... a mean, angry-as-all-hell snake that's ready to strike. That's ready to choke the life out of the world around it if it means food on the table and stability for themselves. Now I want you to keep plugging away at those sorry bastards for the rest of this game until they can't stand it anymore... then I want you to show them what it means when you disrespect our faith...in yourselves, your team and that symbol each of you carry on the field. Hands in gentlemen... give'em hell! Coming into the second half, the Pythons focused on gaining field position through the air, hitting recievers on short routes until the Seattle secondary caught wise on a passing attempt to Wide Reciever BDawg, batting it away. Defensively, it was a little less 'bat' and lot more 'catch' as Defensive End Jay Burton shown that he was all business; business that included a little freelancing as he ignored an assignment to gain an interception for his team. Like Shaun Nua before him, Burton broke any misconceptions as to what he was athletically-able to do with his INT.
Following the pick, Julius Jones was sure to capitalize on the Pythons' mistake a little more as his team seemed unstoppable driving down the field; to make matters worse, Safety Andre Brisita led to his opponents gaining even more yardage as he was called for a 15-Yard Facemask Penalty... the score now being 21-10. But like all great fights in sporting history, you can never count out any team until the final second as Tim Euhus, #2 Tight End for the Pythons, started the team's comeback with touchdown of his own with the help of running mates A.R. Boatang and J.D. Frazier.
Looking to gain even more recognition, Reciever Blake Kolumber proved to be the tipping point offensively as he hauled in a catch for the Pythons, putting them ahead for only the second time in the game... A feat punctuated only by an eerily similar pass interference call to the one Free Safety Brisita had gotten earlier by Seattle DB Marcus Trufant.
-Matt Hasselbeck's not happy about "the one that got away." When asked on his thoughts about what had transpired, Hasselbeck made it known that:
Coach DizL's Post Game Speech "Men, the hell you've just went through was excruciating... 5-and-1, the Seahawks coming in here and breathing down your necks with a win on their minds... ...and what do you do? You beat'em. You take away their psychological edge that they had coming into the half and you break that down with drive-after-drive. Like I said, all you need to do is keep plugging away and you'll win. Simple as that. Defense, particularly the Front 7... you've shown character when Julius Jones was spitting in your face and making a name for himself out there. You showed him no quit, no quarter in the end and I'm proud of you. Nixon... you're ready to lead this team from what I've seen tonight. With a little more seasoning, you might find a seat in Canton someday. Get ready for Dallas because T.O. loves him some him and he's willing to show you just how much... So Heelswxman and Dope Nose, get your popcorn ready. You've got a lot of film to watch. |
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03-03-2009, 12:06 AM | #39 |
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Re: Coach JDizL's Panhandle Pythons
Krulmichael Does Dallas? -AP If Jerry Jones had his way, he'd build another Super Team from the best that the league had to offer... An unflappable quarterback that yields to no amount of pressure; a warrior of a runningback that would gladly run in-between the tackles if it meant getting his team and extra yard; and a wide receiver that catches the football no matter how high, how far and how fast you throw it. -He got the Eagles to the Promised Land, why not the Cowboys? ...sound familiar? We didn't think so. Jerry Jones' current team, the Dallas Cowboys if you've been living under a rock, hasn't won a playoff game since their stint as Super Bowl Juggernauts in the mid-nineties; Not that there was lack of trying. New head coaches, a revolving door of quarterbacks and roster choices that would make even the shrewdest Madden player shake their head in disgust. So what would it take to bring the once-unbeatable team back from obscurity? According to inside sources with the organization, Mr. Jones himself wants the almost ghostlike Pythons receiver, Krulmichael on his pre-paid squad. Knowing that they would have to wait until the offseason to pull such a feat, one would think that the Team Captain could step up his "A-Game" this weekend; especially if he doesn't want to buck the "pay-for-play" mentality that's plagued the Cowboys for years. -This was before he made Bill Parcells eat a can of dog food...through a straw. T.icked O.ff -AP, as per interview previously conducted with Cowboys Wide Reciever, Terrell Owens "I just want to get the word out that the Dallas Cowboys are looking to add another receiver to our organization. We've got plenty of talent here in Texas and there's no reason to believe that there would be "a change in chemistry" to disrupt that. ...now what's got me all twisted is the stories I've been hearing about this "Krulmichael" possibly coming there to take one of our [Ed. Note - Read: His] spots? -This could be Krulmichael in a year... Dude's not even the best receiver on his own team and he thinks that he may have a shot here... well, let him know that I'm putting out a challenge for our game this weekend: Touchdown versus Touchdown, me versus him, until the game's over... simple as that. I don't care if my boy Jerry knows it, I don't care if ESPN throws up 20 news stories about it; I want Krulmichael to know that by the end of the day that he isn't good enough for the Cowboys... Wait, no... he's not good enough for the league." |
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