2k and Relationships

[blackceasar]

Re: 2k and Relationships

Here is the real deal and hard truth from one of the "older heads" in here. When it comes to relationships, part of it is "understanding". Im really big on that. You have things that interest you and she has things that interest her. Some things will be a common interest and some will not. Some things the other person not only will NOT be interested in but carry a negative opinion about it as well as in "Ugh! I dont know why you like video games, they are stupid and a waste of time." Now if you truly have a GOOD g/f or wife, even if that's HER opinion on video games, the good wife or g/f will still respect and UNDERSTAND that the stupid waste of time video game makes you happy and that as long as you dont put it before her, she should "understand" that its just something you like to do in your free time just like she might want to spend 4 hours at the mall looking at purses and shoes without ever buying anything (which a lot of men think is stupid).

It's called "common ground". Its really no different than food for example. You go out to eat with her and she orders one thing and you order something else but it's something she would never eat. It's okay, its not FOR HER and its not like shes going to dog you for ordering what you did. A good woman, at the very very least will honor your love of video games and let you do your man thing when you have the time to do so (but not overdoo it). She will let you pursue that because that makes you happy and if she loves you she will understand. If she doesnt, she will be a selfish biootch. Chicks that try to get you to give games up completely simply because they have a different OPINION about games is a chick thats always going to try to control you with HER own personal opinion on things and at the end of they day youll either eventually leave that relationship (not over a game, but it will be a culmination of other things, bigger things) OR you will be one of those insecure dudes that will give in, give it up, when in all honestly you shouldnt have to, and then you are going to be miserable with her long term because the video games was just the first step in her subconcious effort to mold you into the man she really wants. If shes slowly trying to do that, then apparently you werent the man she really wanted when she met you and years down the road, it just leads to bad stuff.

So do you break up over a video game? NO. But you look for signs of how she will be with you about other things that interest you, and if shes trying to get you away from everything that interests you but she doesnt happen to have an interest in, then yeah, you deserve better than that. You cut it loose, find a chick who at the very least understands you have certain interests and at the very least if not shared, respects your pursuit of those interests and you can let the girl you broke up with go out and find the man she was trying to slowly turn you into.

[DocHolliday]

Re: 2k and Relationships

To the OP.

The relationship you descriped is a whipped man relationship. You need to put your foot down ASAP. This will only get worse.

You seem to try an LOL that she is controlling you, but it is quite obvious that she is. Man up or be tha guy you said you never would be. A whipped man.

[Flightwhite24]

Re: 2k and Relationships

Here is the real deal and hard truth from one of the "older heads" in here. When it comes to relationships, part of it is "understanding". Im really big on that. You have things that interest you and she has things that interest her. Some things will be a common interest and some will not. Some things the other person not only will NOT be interested in but carry a negative opinion about it as well as in "Ugh! I dont know why you like video games, they are stupid and a waste of time." Now if you truly have a GOOD g/f or wife, even if that's HER opinion on video games, the good wife or g/f will still respect and UNDERSTAND that the stupid waste of time video game makes you happy and that as long as you dont put it before her, she should "understand" that its just something you like to do in your free time just like she might want to spend 4 hours at the mall looking at purses and shoes without ever buying anything (which a lot of men think is stupid).

It's called "common ground". Its really no different than food for example. You go out to eat with her and she orders one thing and you order something else but it's something she would never eat. It's okay, its not FOR HER and its not like shes going to dog you for ordering what you did. A good woman, at the very very least will honor your love of video games and let you do your man thing when you have the time to do so (but not overdoo it). She will let you pursue that because that makes you happy and if she loves you she will understand. If she doesnt, she will be a selfish biootch. Chicks that try to get you to give games up completely simply because they have a different OPINION about games is a chick thats always going to try to control you with HER own personal opinion on things and at the end of they day youll either eventually leave that relationship (not over a game, but it will be a culmination of other things, bigger things) OR you will be one of those insecure dudes that will give in, give it up, when in all honestly you shouldnt have to, and then you are going to be miserable with her long term because the video games was just the first step in her subconcious effort to mold you into the man she really wants. If shes slowly trying to do that, then apparently you werent the man she really wanted when she met you and years down the road, it just leads to bad stuff.

So do you break up over a video game? NO. But you look for signs of how she will be with you about other things that interest you, and if shes trying to get you away from everything that interests you but she doesnt happen to have an interest in, then yeah, you deserve better than that. You cut it loose, find a chick who at the very least understands you have certain interests and at the very least if not shared, respects your pursuit of those interests and you can let the girl you broke up with go out and find the man she was trying to slowly turn you into.

Preach, blackceasar Preach

[bichettehappens]

My girlfriend came with me to get Madden at midnight when it came out, she was gonna buy it for me but we ended up getting enough from the trade-ins that it was free. So no, don't have that kind of relationship issue lol

[suirad]

Re: 2k and Relationships

I know alot of dudes with scenarios like this. Fortunately my queen is a gamer and a sports head 2 like myself so she loves 2k but she is drooling for fable 3. I feel for u guys that deal with this. I know wouldnt deal wit a chick gettin at me over things like this espercially if i dont complain about a book club or whack azz soap oprah. Id be out a relationship quick especially if you give her her share of time and she still whining? Id get her gone ya dig lol

[Court_vision]

Re: 2k and Relationships

My wife is a super laid back Buddhist. I.e. a real one / born a Buddhist.

Pretty much nothing fazes her and she likes me playing 2K as she says it helps me relax.

Been married almost ten years now.

[threes_co]

Re: 2k and Relationships

I know alot of dudes with scenarios like this. Fortunately my queen is a gamer and a sports head 2 like myself so she loves 2k but she is drooling for fable 3. I feel for u guys that deal with this. I dont think i could deal wit a chick gettin at me over things like this. Id be out a relationship quick especially if you give her her share of time and she still whining? Id get her gone ya dig lol

You're a very lucky man to have a woman like that.

[blackceasar]

Re: 2k and Relationships

I know alot of dudes with scenarios like this. Fortunately my queen is a gamer and a sports head 2 like myself so she loves 2k but she is drooling for fable 3. I feel for u guys that deal with this. I know wouldnt deal wit a chick gettin at me over things like this espercially if i dont complain about a book club or whack azz soap oprah. Id be out a relationship quick especially if you give her her share of time and she still whining? Id get her gone ya dig lol

Its like this... The chick that's a 10 that a met in the club but hates the fact I play video games is what I call a "bootycall".

The chick that's a 7 you met in a Gamestop OR at least is cool with you and your video game interests is what I call "wifey".

[eDotd]

Re: 2k and Relationships

Here is the real deal and hard truth from one of the "older heads" in here. When it comes to relationships, part of it is "understanding". Im really big on that. You have things that interest you and she has things that interest her. Some things will be a common interest and some will not. Some things the other person not only will NOT be interested in but carry a negative opinion about it as well as in "Ugh! I dont know why you like video games, they are stupid and a waste of time." Now if you truly have a GOOD g/f or wife, even if that's HER opinion on video games, the good wife or g/f will still respect and UNDERSTAND that the stupid waste of time video game makes you happy and that as long as you dont put it before her, she should "understand" that its just something you like to do in your free time just like she might want to spend 4 hours at the mall looking at purses and shoes without ever buying anything (which a lot of men think is stupid).

It's called "common ground". Its really no different than food for example. You go out to eat with her and she orders one thing and you order something else but it's something she would never eat. It's okay, its not FOR HER and its not like shes going to dog you for ordering what you did. A good woman, at the very very least will honor your love of video games and let you do your man thing when you have the time to do so (but not overdoo it). She will let you pursue that because that makes you happy and if she loves you she will understand. If she doesnt, she will be a selfish biootch. Chicks that try to get you to give games up completely simply because they have a different OPINION about games is a chick thats always going to try to control you with HER own personal opinion on things and at the end of they day youll either eventually leave that relationship (not over a game, but it will be a culmination of other things, bigger things) OR you will be one of those insecure dudes that will give in, give it up, when in all honestly you shouldnt have to, and then you are going to be miserable with her long term because the video games was just the first step in her subconcious effort to mold you into the man she really wants. If shes slowly trying to do that, then apparently you werent the man she really wanted when she met you and years down the road, it just leads to bad stuff.

So do you break up over a video game? NO. But you look for signs of how she will be with you about other things that interest you, and if shes trying to get you away from everything that interests you but she doesnt happen to have an interest in, then yeah, you deserve better than that. You cut it loose, find a chick who at the very least understands you have certain interests and at the very least if not shared, respects your pursuit of those interests and you can let the girl you broke up with go out and find the man she was trying to slowly turn you into.

Good post ceasar. My girl didn't play video games before I met her. Now she's on a L4D2 scrimmage team..LOL.

She plays that game religiously, but she finds sports gaming boring. While she doesn't like it she won't mind if I get an hour or two in. She'll just find something else to do like use the laptop or look at makeup reviews. When we first got together it was sort of a problem because I was playing 2K8 like a fiend. Just like you said, I was putting it before her (and everything else) in a lot of situations. After a while I settled down and now there's a healthy balance. The release of 2K11 has sort of disrupted that balance but we're vets now. Been through it with 2K9, 2K10, and the recently released Street Fighter games.

If she doesn't understand why you enjoy playing these games and on top of that, she's giving you a hard time because of it, it's time to find someone else. Some wise words from an even wiser man: "You don't wanna be hiding in your own house tryna get a game in".

[yungflo]

Re: 2k and Relationships

My wife thinks I'm a nerd when it comes to video games. She calls the OS group my Cyber-Buddies. I told her she was just jealous. Gotta a Lovely Wife and I would not trade her for the world except Nba 2K11.

[suirad]

Re: 2k and Relationships

You're a very lucky man to have a woman like that.

yeah she is a rare one indeed. black ceasar is right sometimes women can be a bit ridiculous with alot of things. men can also be guilty as we are not without our hangups. the key is to find balance much like you would for work,school,recreation, and of course relationships. Most women view games as toy like things for children but they demand constant attention like children sometimes so i wonder who is more childish lol j/k

[Naej]

Re: 2k and Relationships

"You don't wanna be hiding in your own house tryna get a game in".

E P I C!

[jmo2278]

Re: 2k and Relationships

I have had that conversation about being supportive with the video games so many times with her. But everytime her answers are basically i support you in everything you do that is constuctive. Video games are not constuctive lol. But the fact that i hate that she feels that way i also understand where she is coming from because she is a female and no im not being sexist because females do play video games

Now i would not go through all this to play a game like cod, or halo because thats not my type of games but a game of 2ks caliber i just cant pass it up

What saves me though is her shopping. I use this as a argument. She goes to the mall like every 2 or 3 weeks and i just think its crazy for her to go like that spend more money then i do on video games and will wear something she buys then put it in the closet and wont touch it for the next month or so.

Coming from a married veteran gamer, you need to immediately start formulating an exit strategy from your current relationship!!!!

Seriously though, it is bad enough she doesnt take an active interest in your passions and hobbies, But she could at least respect the fact that they are important to YOU! And that crap about it being constructive or whatever is total B.S. Who wants to be constructive on their free time? Im sure she waste time watching T.V. and spending money shopping, so whats wrong with you playing games on your free time with your expendable cash?

My point is issues like this will be TENFOLD worst if you guys get married and eventually you will be MISERABLE THE REST OF YOUR LIFE! Healthy relationships are give and take, sacrifice, and loving a person for who they are including their faults.

My wife hates vid games too but she LOVES ME and she knows my passion for games and accepts that and does not belittle me for it either! She knew before we were married that we would be including games in the budget. When Im excitited for a game like 2k11 coming out, even though she could give a squirrel fart about the game itself, she does share in MY excitement and is happy for me! AND I also pretend to be excitited about things that she likes and spends money on that I think is silly, thats how relationships are supposed to work!!!

I dont know you or your girl but I do know that you obviously have a passion for video games and a lady that does not RESPECT that passion. A WIFE would be out of line for this and she is just a gf!!! If you are already to the point where you feel like you have to concoct a story just to buy a game, then this relationship is destined to fail! Cut your losses and move on. Because now it is just videogames, but it will eventually lead to bigger problems because of the underlying "respect" issue.

Im sorry this is so long but I feel like its my duty as a married gamer to try to help you avoid a life of turmoil. You have two options: 1) Give up gaming and become a "casual". or 2) Tell her that you are buying this game tuesday, that you will buy one in january, and you may buy one in november as well if you see the need and can afford it. Tell her that you are a gamer and if she loves you and wants to be with you she is gonna have to accept that fact. If not then tell her she can hit the road, because believe me there are plenty woman out there that will accept your hobby and there even a few out there that will even play/watch with you!

good luck sir!

[HOLLIDAY1183]

Re: 2k and Relationships

To the OP.

The relationship you descriped is a whipped man relationship. You need to put your foot down ASAP. This will only get worse.

You seem to try an LOL that she is controlling you, but it is quite obvious that she is. Man up or be tha guy you said you never would be. A whipped man.

The cold hard facts are what this man laid out right here.

Yo my bro got lucky with his ex, she'd actually throw in Fight Night, roll up a few thick ones, and go at it with him for hours. Actually got better than him at one point (boy was I ashamed, and I let him know it LOL)

I didn't get that lucky with my girl, but she's so cool about it. I'll invite friends over for marathon 2K sessions, and she'll go get beers and sit and watch us. I think she finds it funny because when she calls her friend they'll have a laugh about how we carry on while playing. I think it helps that her friends' boyfriends are cool with me, and they're the same about games as me. So she has friends who "suffer" the same.

She'll even get her Teen Mom/Hoarders/Kardashians fix watching on one of the computers and let me play my games.

But like Caesar said, it's an "understanding" thing. I work long hours, bills are paid, everything in the house works/is wired nicely, she shops whenever, her truck is well maintained, and I buy her things.

And I ask for very little in return, besides my "things"..... NBA season games take precedence over EVERY OTHER SHOW....I choose dinner..... My "gadgets"..... and my games

And oh yeah, Coronas can never run out, LOL

[nogster]

Re: 2k and Relationships

Cool topic.

been married 4yrs. been in a relationship with her for 15yrs.
She is totally cool with my NBA gaming obsession. It was part of me before she was.
I remember in our 1st year together, I would go over to her place with my Sega Megadrive in my bag. a copy of live 96. and whenever I got the chance I would play it.
Then the playstation came out and she was with me when I bought it for the primary purpose of playing Live 97.
then the Dreamcast for 2k. and so on and so forth.
every year around this time. she knows I go stir crazy. I set holidays for myself to get aquainted with the game. She just lets me go for it.
I got myself a damn good woman!.