NBA Off Topic

[Altimus]

Re: NBA Off Topic

Man, Malone still not letting that Coleman grudge go. Not surprising but at the end one is a hall of famer while the other is in serious debt.

[Boltman]

Re: NBA Off Topic

Man, Malone still not letting that Coleman grudge go. Not surprising but at the end one is a hall of famer while the other is in serious debt.

Did I miss something big between them in the past?

What happened that the Mailman still has such hatred for DC?

[Altimus]

Re: NBA Off Topic

Did I miss something big between them in the past?

What happened that the Mailman still has such hatred for DC?

Lots of trash talk by Coleman. Don't remember the exact but some was too much but at the end Malone dominated him on the court each time.

[Hotobu]

Re: NBA Off Topic

JR Smith and his girlfriend together look like lizard people.

[SidVish]

Re: NBA Off Topic

NBA Season 20 questions with Bill Simmons. It's pretty long but a great read nonetheless.

http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/7523441/20-questions-part-1

http://www.grantland.com/story/_/id/7525589/20-questions-part-2

1. If the 2011 Miami Heat played the 2012 Miami Heat, who would win?

We would be treated to a remarkably well-played basketball game for 45 minutes, followed by both teams getting tight and unleashing a barrage of turnovers, bricks and missed foul shots as the fans in attendance said things like, "Did 2012 LeBron just put three pounds of Botox in his face?" and, "Is that a skidmark in 2011 Chris Bosh's shorts?" With the game tied in the final 10 seconds, 2012 LeBron would bowl over 2011 LeBron on an out-of-control drive into three guys, miss the first free throw, then make the second … but only after it hit every part of the rim. That would leave 2011 Miami enough time to set up one final shot: which, inexplicably, would go to Eddie House. Game over.

The good news for 2012 Miami: We could be headed for an ugly, disjointed postseason that becomes a war of attrition more than anything else (much like the NFL). You know, the kind of season when you want one of the most indestructible physical specimens in sports history (LeBron) on your side. Even if the Wade/LeBron partnership will never totally work — it's been like watching two signature lead guitarists awkwardly jamming at a Rock and Roll Hall of Fame concert since Day One — LeBron's freakish consistency trumps just about anything else you'd want in a rushed postseason. During the last lockout-shortened season (1999), the Spurs prevailed because David Robinson and Tim Duncan gave them a decided physical advantage: Two athletic, durable bigs1 who delivered the same numbers every night as the condensed schedule wore down their opponents. If Wade's body holds up — a big "if" — Miami would have a similar advantage. You would think.2

Regardless, I'm starting to wonder if Miami will ever reach its considerable potential. It won't happen this season — it's just too hard for a three-man team to survive this kind of schedule3 — and wearing a giant bullseye for 14 straight months has to be wearing those guys down. There's a joylessness about them some nights that just doesn't seem … healthy. Like watching Michael Fassbender grimly thrust his way through Shame. (And like Fassbender, the Heat are physically endowed, almost to their own award-winning detriment.) Jordan fed off the doubters and haters, used their vitriol like caffeine, kept pushing his teammates because he couldn't let those nitpickers win. LeBron isn't wired like that. You get the sense that he's still a little incredulous about how things changed, that he keeps thinking it's a bad dream or something. Of course …

2. Do you realize that LeBron is having one of the greatest statistical seasons of all time?

I always thought Jordan's 1988-89 season (32.5 PPG, 8.0 APG, 8.0 RPG, 2.9 SPG, 53.8 percent FG, 85 percent FT, 31.1 PER) was the most impressive statistical season by a modern perimeter player … and yet, here's LeBron averaging 29.2 points, 8.3 rebounds, 7.1 assists, 55 percent shooting and a 33.38 PER (highest ever) during a condensed schedule. It's impossible. How can someone have their greatest season during THIS season? There have been games when LeBron backs down a smaller defender into the paint, uses one of the low-post moves he allegedly learned from Hakeem this summer — really just a drop step and a jump hook, but whatever — and makes it look so simple that you're sitting there thinking, "My God, he could rule everything that's holy if he kept doing that."

Does that mean I changed my mind and now believe he's coming through in the final 20 seconds of a nationally televised game? NO!!!!!!!! Are you crazy? After watching him choke in person yet again against the Clippers recently — it's getting to the point that Miami should just hire Bill Murray, Chris Elliott and Andie MacDowell to sit on its bench — I drove home wondering if we're witnessing the single weirdest professional sports career since Wilt Chamberlain. The seven best regular-season players of all time from a "grinding out the same game night after night after night for years on end" are Wilt, Kareem, Oscar, Michael, Mailman, Kobe and LeBron in some order. He's staying on that list no matter what happens. But there's another one that matters even more: The four most-gifted basketball players of all time are Wilt, Magic, LeBron and Michael in some order. Two of them got better when it mattered; two of them got worse. These are the facts until (or unless) LeBron James chooses to change them. To be continued.

3. What the hell is going on with Carlos Boozer's hair?

It's the NBA's biggest hair controversy since Rick Barry wore a wig during the 1975-76 season.4 How does Boozer suddenly have Shane Battier's hairline? Is he coloring it in? Did he get miniature plugs? Is he wearing the first ever shaved-head toupee? Did he think we wouldn't notice? Did he do it to throw Bulls fans off the whole "Why didn't we amnesty Carlos Boozer?" question? And why haven't my bald buddies on PTI become the Woodward and Bernstein of this story? You know something serious is happening when you Google "Carlos Boozer" and the fourth-suggested result is "Carlos Boozer hair." As a reader in Poland named Sebastian e-mailed me, "How is this story overlooked by American pundits? Wayne Rooney's hair transplant was a major story on this side of the Atlantic!" Totally agree.

4. Rubio?

Ruuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuubioooooooooooooooo!

It's been a bittersweet ascent for me: Less than three years ago, I was driving the Rubio Bandwagon and excoriating Memphis, Oklahoma City and Sacramento for passing on him in the 2009 draft, writing things like, "If I had to bet my life on any 2009 prospect becoming a top-three player on a championship team, I'd bet on Blake Griffin, Ricky Rubio and Stephen Curry," "I'm excited for 'Thabeet over Rubio' to become the new 'Darko over Carmelo,'" and, "Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, is going to regret not being more excited about Ricky Rubio on June 25, 2009." When he slogged along for two woefully unimpressive seasons overseas, I should have stuck to my guns and written, "I'm not giving up! I believe in Rubio!" and eventually, it would have become my greatest NBA prediction of the past 10 years, surpassing even, "Portland will regret taking Oden over Durant." Like a *****, I caved. The reports from Europe freaked me out. I worried Ricky was a bust, that I overrated his incredible Gold Medal game performance in 2008 (only 17 and battling the big boys!), that he wasn't a step ahead of other players like I thought, that he didn't have the passing gene like Larry and Magic did, that his lousy outside shot would sink his career.

Nope. I don't know what happened in Europe, just what I see now … and what I see is someone who's a step ahead of everyone else, makes passes that nobody else makes, loves playing basketball to the point that it's actually contagious, aces the "Would You Like Playing With Him?" Test to the point that we should just change it to the Rubio Test, rises to the occasion when it matters (most recently with a game-tying 3 against the Clips with 20 seconds left in the game), beats anyone he wants off the dribble, plays with a Maravichian flair and, for lack of a better phrase, lights up the room. Only in this case, it's usually a room with 16,000 people in it. If you were having a "Which Two Teammates Would You Want to Build Around for the Next 10 Years" argument, LeBron and Wade would be first, then Durant and Westbrook, then Paul and Griffin … and Rubio and Love would be fourth.

It's the last point that matters most. Rubio and Love accomplished the rarest of feats: They're such good passers and possess such a hugh basketball IQ, that it actually rubbed off on their teammates. They're infectious. Watch the Wolves sometime — you'll see perfectly executed pick-and-rolls, gorgeous backdoor cuts, seamless three-on-ones and everything else I grew up watching. Once upon a time, I watched Larry Bird and Magic Johnson (the two most infectious NBA players of all time) turn black holes like Kareem and Kevin McHale into half-decent passers. It's happening again on a smaller scale in Minnesota. Well, with everyone but Michael Beasley. But it's a beautiful thing to watch, and for Kevin Love — who slogged through three crummy years wondering if he'd ever play with anyone who had a basketball IQ over 80 — he has to feel like he died and went to basketball heaven. I never thought Rubio would play this well or stand out this much. What a pleasant surprise. I feel gooey. Of course …

5. Why didn't Minnesota just sign Kevin Love for five years?

I can't resist …

KAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHN!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes, David Kahn gets immense amounts of credit for pulling off the 2009 trade for Washington's pick, drafting Rubio and — eventually — bringing him over. Getting credit for someone that magical trumps every other dumb move he made. And there were plenty. You know, like drafting Jonny Flynn over Stephen Curry. Trading Ty Lawson. Blowing the fourth pick of the 2010 draft on Wesley Johnson (who, unfortunately, stinks). Overpaying for a slew of mediocre players (Darko Milicic, Ramon Sessions, Nikola Pekovic, Martell Webster, etc.). Hiring Kurt Rambis and trying to run the triangle with the youngest/dumbest team in the league. It's a long list. Picking Rubio, then resisting the urge to trade him for two years — even with Rubio floundering in Europe — made up for everything. When you have Kevin Love and Ricky Rubio on your team, the other 10 guys don't matter as much. Eventually, you'll find them.

Did Kahn decide to risk that last point almost immediately? Of course he did! Instead of giving Love their "designated max extension" slot (five years, $80 million), the Wolves decided to save that slot for Rubio and played hardball with Love … who's only one of the stubborn athletes of the league, and someone who once pissed off the entire state of Oregon (where he grew up) by signing with UCLA. Let's walk through this debacle quickly …

1. You're Minnesota.
2. You stink.
3. You have a 0.0 percent chance of ever in a million years luring a marquee free agent.
4. You have one of the best 10 players in the league.5
5. You have a chance to lock up this player for five years and team him up with your other marquee player.

How does that lead to …

6. You sign that player for three years, then give him an opt-out clause for Year 4?

Is there any chance Love stays after 2015 now? The team just told him, "Yeah, we know Oklahoma City took care of Russell Westbrook for five years, but you're not as good, so screw you." Massive mistake. We're getting three and a half years of the Minnesota Rubio Loves, and then Kevin Love will sign somewhere else. It shouldn't have played out that way.

6. Who's the worst couple of the past 12 months — Sammi and Ronnie, Kim and Kris, or Carmelo and Amar'e?

Kim and Kris. It's no contest. By the way, I'm not willing to write off the Carmelo/Amar'e pairing yet — even if it's been a ball-stopping, disjointed, shoulder-sagging mess so far — until we see how they look with a competent point guard running the show. By writing them off just from what we've seen, you are basically saying, "Point guards don't matter." That's wrong. They matter more than any other position in 2012. So let's at least see what kind of effect Baron Davis (and hopefully not Baron Davis' love handles and herniated disc) have on this Knicks team before we make a final assessment. I mean, did you really think "Carmelo Anthony, point forward" was going to work? Or that Iman Shumpert was the answer? Come on. Give this a few more weeks.

(Has that stopped me from sending "Congrats on watching Spencer Haywood/Bob McAdoo 2.0!" jokes to my Knick fan buddies? Of course not!)

7. Will "Cleveland will regret taking Kyrie Irving over Derrick Williams" supplant "Orlando will regret taking Dwight Howard over Emeka Okafor" as the single dumbest thing I've ever written?

Irving is an absolute gem, so it's definitely in play. (The lesson, as always: Don't have a strong opinion heading into an NBA draft about someone you didn't see enough.) I wouldn't go so far as to call him "Kevin Johnson 2.0," if only because Kevin Johnson was really good. But Irving has three distinct K.J.-ish qualities: He's always going faster than it seems like he's going; when he drives to the basket bigger guys seem to bounce off him; and there's something about the way Irving dribbles that makes defenders instinctively back up, as if they're saying, "I don't know what's about to happen, but I don't want to get my ankles broken." He's also better in the clutch already than K.J. ever was. And he's only 19! It can't be forgotten how great it is to win the lottery sometimes.

8. Where does "What if the Clippers never traded Baron Davis?" rank among the all-time NBA What Ifs?

Definitely top 50. And climbing. It was already one of the dumbest NBA trades6 of the past 10 years before the amnesty clause became part of the new labor agreement … at that point, it became one of the dumber trades in sports history. Should the Clippers be criticized for not guessing in January, with a labor stoppage looming, that the amnesty clause would potentially be in play? Yes and no — yes, they should have known, and no, they couldn't have known (because they're owned by a slum lord who has no idea what's going on).

Let's say they kept Baron, kept that no. 1 pick and won the lottery. Well …

• The Clips would have drafted Irving, teamed him with Eric Gordon and Blake Griffin, then had enough assets left over (DeAndre Jordan, Al-Farouq Aminu, Minnesota's no. 1 pick, Eric Bledsoe) to swipe Dwight Howard from Orlando this month. Would you rather have a Griffin/Howard/Gordon/Irving/Free Agent X nucleus, or Chris Paul's Lob City squad that just thrashed Oklahoma City last night in the single most entertaining game of the year? It's a great question. (I can't believe I'm saying this … but I think I'd rather have Lob City.)

• Chris Paul probably ends up on the Lakers (for Bynum) or Celtics (for Rondo and a couple no. 1 picks). Either way, an inferior basketball situation to the one he's enjoying now.

• Instead of building around Irving, the Cavs would be building around Tristan Thompson and I'd be writing "The lesson, as always: Tebow hates Cleveland" jokes.

• Baron would get amnesthized,7 sign with the Knicks, then become their potential savior even though he's overweight and has a herniated disc. Oh, wait, that happened anyway.

My final verdict: If Howard ends up on the Lakers (and not the Clippers), the Baron nontrade becomes a Hall of Fame "What If" because the actual trade created new identities for two contenders (the Lakers and Clippers) and saved the most depressed franchise in the league (the Cavs).

9. Has there ever been a better year for point guards?

The short answer: No. It's like the quarterback boom in football — and if you want to extend the analogy, some of the NBA's rule changes last decade (dumping hand checks, speeding up the game) helped point guards much like the NFL's rule changes (changing the pass interference rules, protecting quarterbacks) helped passing. But you still need the talent, and fortunately, we're blessed with Derrick Rose, Chris Paul, Deron Williams, Rajon Rondo, Russell Westbrook, Stephen Curry (although his paper-mache ankles are starting to worry me), Tony Parker (another killer season for him), Kyle Lowry (morphing into a poor man's Fat Lever), Steve Nash, Ty Lawson (one of the fastest NBA players ever), Rubio, Irving, John Wall (coming on), Jrue Holiday (already came on) and Brandon Jennings (finally made a leap this year) … suddenly you're in good hands with half the league's point guards running your team. And we didn't even mention capable veterans like Mike Conley, the Semi-Rejuvenated Jose Calderon, Ray Felton and Andre Miller; The Artist Formerly Known as Jason Kidd; Baron (if he has anything left in the tank); works in progress like Brandon Knight (I'm a fan), T.B.H. Evans,8 Roddy Beaubois (a possible late bloomer???) and Kemba Walker; or even Jimmer Fredette's abundant garbage time skills.9

Look, it's not rocket science: Any basketball game is going to be more entertaining with competent-or-better point guards running the show. (Cut to Knicks and Lakers fans nodding.) Without the right point guard, you won't get fast break points or easy baskets (cut to Knicks and Lakers fans nodding), you won't have good ball movement (cut to Knicks and Lakers fans nodding), it's harder to get your post guys the ball in the right spots (cut to Knicks and Lakers fans nodding), and you might have to rely on one perimeter player shooting 25 to 30 times a game while everyone else stands around (cut to Knicks and Lakers fans nodding vigorously while fighting off tears). More point guards = more fun.10

10. Now that Oklahoma City has extended Russell Westbrook for five years, does that mean we can shelve concerns for an Avon/Stringer ending with Westbrook and Durant?

I'll answer the question with a question: Did anyone else notice that Westbrook started playing out of his mind the moment Oklahoma City gave him $80 million (and he knew he was staying there)? That HAS to mean something, right? Travel back with me to last spring, when Westbrook (a terrific kid by all accounts) got ripped for his shot selection in the 2011 playoffs (most famously by the TNT guys), took those comments personally, went into a semifunk, became something of a scapegoat for Oklahoma City's collapse in the Dallas series, brooded all summer, then played the first month of the season (pre-extension) with a defiant anger that didn't totally make sense.

Or did it? Look at it from Westbrook's side: He probably believed he was just as valuable as his buddy Durant (and for the most part, he was right), only everyone loved Durant and never criticized him for anything … but when Westbrook did something wrong? He got slammed. That made it a no-win situation for him — even worse, he knew it — which was why Westbrook's teammates (Durant especially) spent an inordinate amount of energy those first few weeks worrying about Westbrook, cajoling him, praising him, rubbing his head, slapping him on the back, engaging him and doing everything else you'd do when you're trying to make sure someone doesn't drift away from your tribe. I caught them in person in Boston two weeks ago (during the height of the "Westbrook for Rondo" Internet frenzy) and was stunned by how angry Westbrook played. He seems better now. Eighty million has a way of making someone feel a little more secure.

Still, that doesn't answer the fundamental question: Can Oklahoma City ever achieve its potential without Westbrook accepting that he's the Pippen to Durant's Jordan? Avon and Stringer aren't the right pop culture analogy anymore; there's a better one. A New York reader named Yoni explains: "Is it just me or does this whole Durant-Westbrook situation remind you of the relationship between Russell Hammond (lead guitar) and Jeff Beebe (lead singer) in Almost Famous? Just as Jeff could never quite understand how Russell takes the band to a new level with his guitar, Westbrook doesn't quite understand that KD is a franchise player in a way that he can't ever be. And if OKC makes T-shirts, Durant will always be front and center, and Westbrook will always be in the background as one of the 'out of focus guys.'"

(Making $80 million from 2012 through 2017 … but still.)

11. Why hasn't #freestevenash evolved into a social media campaign along the lines of #occupywallstreet?

We still have time. This much is clear: Nash respects his leadership responsibilities and his legacy in Phoenix too much to ever become The Guy Who Asked For a Trade. Just look at what Carmelo Anthony did to the Nuggets last year, or Dwight Howard is doing to the imploding (and then some) Magic right now. Nash would never do that to his teammates; he'd rather miss the playoffs, flee Sarverville this summer and make one last run with a contender next year. That's why Sarver's Suns know they can hide behind the cop-out of an excuse, "Hey, it's up to Steve to ask us for a trade," despite knowing that (a) he took less money to stay back in 2009 under the assumption that the roster would always be first-class (and it's not), and (b) he'd never **** on his teammates like that. What a bunch of cowards. I hate professional sports sometimes.

Did that stop me from taking a Nash-inspired whirl on the Trade Machine? Of course not!

Let's see … barely conceivable trades with the Lakers (Nash and Josh Childress' horrific contract for Luke Walton, Derek Fisher, Darius Morris and a 2012 no. 1 pick), Pacers (Nash for Darren Collison and a 2012 no. 1 pick),1 Mavericks (Nash for Jason Kidd and Roddy Beaubois) and Celtics (Nash, Grant Hill and Marcin Gortat for Rajon Rondo, Marquis Daniels and Jermaine O'Neal's expiring deal) are just that: barely conceivable (and unlikely). But what if the Blazers offered Raymond Felton, Nic Batum (whom they just passed on extending) and $3 million for Nash, with the wink-wink caveat that Phoenix then had to buy out his buddy Grant Hill's contract so Hill could sign with Portland? Could you go to war in the 2012 playoffs with LaMarcus Aldridge, Gerald Wallace, Marcus Camby, Wesley Matthews, Jamal Crawford, Hill, Kurt Thomas, Craig Smith and a rejuvenated-by-the-Pacific Northwest-and-a-title-shot-and-Rip City Steve Nash? Hell yeah! I haven't been this excited for a fake trade in years. Naturally, that means it won't happen.

Quick tangent: I still watch Inside the NBA even though it's starting to seem like Shaq is a double agent hired by ESPN to ruin that show. Anyway, Barkley declared emphatically on Thursday night that Miami and Chicago were playing in the Eastern Conference finals and nobody else had a chance. With all due respect to the Chuck Wagon, can we really say anything definitively yet? I haven't seen a single 2012 team that made me say, "That team is ready to play in the Finals, they don't need anything." Sunday's Bulls-Heat game was a perfect example: Everyone came away thinking, "Chicago still relies on only one guy down the stretch" and "Miami still gets tight when it matters." Same for Clips-Oklahoma City the following night, when the Zombies tried their absolute hardest and got run off the court. Bad sign for their 2012 title hopes. I'm not sure people appreciate how fully wide-open the 2012 playoffs are, or how easy it would be for eight to 10 different teams to sneak into the Finals with one shrewd move. The 2012 title will be decided by injuries, deadline trades and luck. And not in that order.

So yeah, during a normal season, "Felton for Batum to rent Nash for three months and hopefully re-sign him" would seem excessive. But this season? You should bang it out without blinking. Same for overpaying for Anderson Varejao — an elite rebounder/banger/defender who's playing out of his mind right now — if Cleveland ever decided that they were better off converting him into draft picks and tanking 2012 over drifting into no-man's land (the fringe of the lottery, where it becomes impossible to improve your team). The Celtics, Clippers, Mavericks, Rockets, Nuggets and Grizzlies could offer 2012 no. 1's plus expiring contracts plus $3 million plus a young player with potential for Varejao. Hell, if I were Danny Ainge, I'd offer O'Neal's expiring, my 2012 no. 1 AND the Clippers' no. 1 for him.2 Wouldn't you take your chances with a Rondo-Allen-Pierce-Garnett-Varejao quintet this spring? Or am I just a complete homer? That reminds me …

12. Are the Mavericks really passing on making a full-fledged title defense?

It's been the most fascinating moral dilemma of the season: The Mavericks finally breaking through and winning a title, then glancing around and saying, "Instead of re-signing Tyson Chandler and running this back, we're clearing as much cap space as possible while remaining relatively competitive, then keeping our fingers crossed for Dwight Howard and/or Deron Williams … and we feel good about this because, again, we already won a title. It's much more important to set up the next decade."

It's a defensible plan. I'm sure Dallas' first-class analytics posse supported its statistical wisdom. Then again, the 2012 title is wide-open. How many chances do you have to win the championship? I keep thinking back to that 2007-to-now Celtics run, when the Celtics left a second title on the table in 2009 (KG's injury) and 2010 (Perkins going down in Game 6 of the Finals). You never stop thinking about those lost rings. Ever. It's the same reason Kevin McHale limped around on a broken foot for the entire 1987 playoffs, altered the course of his career and, incredibly, would make the same choice again. When you're that close, you do whatever it takes. So watching Dallas halfheartedly contend with gimmicks like "96% Man / 4% Amazing,"3 Khloe & Lamar and "The Delonte West Roller Coaster Ride" while protecting its 2012 cap space and praying that Ian Mahinmi and Brendan Haywood can morph into a poor man's Tyson Chandler … I mean … I guess it makes sense. I guess.

Of course, the Mavericks somehow won 14 of their first 22 games without Chandler and with Dirk playing himself into shape; they could still flip the Odom/Kidd expirings, Beaubois, $3 million and two no. 1 picks into Howard and Hedo Turkoglu's contract atrocity faster than you can say "back-to-back." You never know. We've all learned not to doubt Mark Cuban's Dallas Mavericks. Hey, that reminds me …

13. What in the holy hell is happening with Dwight Howard?

You have to admit, making up fake trades, deciphering real rumors from fake ones and watching the league's only dominant center treat his final Orlando season with that same glazed/trapped/hostage-like look in his eyes that Katie Holmes has … it's been pretty fun, right? Not since 2007-08 Kobe (right before the Pau Gasol trade) have we watched a superstar put up killer numbers this effortlessly while remaining emotionally detached the entire time; it takes a special level of talent to dominate games while simultaneously mailing them in.4 Even stranger, Orlando GM Otis Smith seems to be paralyzed by the proceedings — after Brook Lopez's broken foot knocked New Jersey from the bidding, Joakim Noah's trade value went in the tank5 and the surging Clippers shook off Howard's overtures, poor Otis was suddenly left with Dallas and the Lakers as his only real suitors.

So what's taking so long with Bynum-for-Howard? Why the foreplay? Just pull the trigger, Otis! Save face by expanding the trade to include Nelson ($17.2 million remaining, expires in 2013) and the already floundered Quentin Richardson ($7.8 million remaining, expires 2014) for Matt Barnes (expires this season), the Lakers' 2012 no. 1 pick and a valuable trade exception (the $8.6 million opened by sending Nelson to the Lakers for Odom's exception). The final haul: Orlando chops $13.1 million from this season's payroll, dumps $11.85 million of 2012-13 salaries, picks up a draft pick and turns a two-dollar bill (Howard) into someone who's definitely improved to a dollar bill (Bynum If He Can Stay Healthy) for someone who's leaving anyway.

Of course, that makes too much sense, and we're talking about Otis Smith here.6 What if Otis decides, "Screw it, I'm getting fired anyway for giving Dwight such a pathetic supporting cast that he practically put out Craigslist ads trying to get traded — I should just roll the dice with the 10 percent chance that he'd rather stay here next summer because we can pay him more"? Well …

14. What happens to the New Jersey Nets if they don't get Howard?

After gutting their team for Deron Williams (Derrick Favors and the no. 3 pick in the 2011 draft), New Jersey faces a potentially humiliating situation: If they can't land Howard within the next few weeks, they have to reverse course and frantically shop Williams over watching him play out his contract, then sign with his hometown Mavericks in five months. They can't move to Brooklyn this summer without a star to market, right? (Sorry, I don't think this picture is cutting it for 2,000 billboards in the tri-state area.) That means they'd have to flip Williams for an All-Star who's locked into a deal already. You know, someone like Pau Gasol (who might be past his prime, or close), Amar'e Stoudemire (and his uninsured contract) or even (gulp … ) Joe Johnson. Wow, it's hard to believe that things might play out badly for an NBA franchise owned by a free-spending Russian oligarch who splurged on Travis Outlaw, Johan Petro, Jordan Farmar and Anthony Morrow as his first four signings, hired Billy King, lost interest within nine months and decided to run for the presidency of Russia.

15. Hold on a second … it's totally conceivable the Lakers could flip Gasol for Williams and Bynum for Howard??? So the 2011-12 Lakers could end up with Kobe Bryant, Dwight Howard AND Deron Williams?

(Nodding my head grimly.)

(Praying this doesn't happen.)

(Praying some more.)

16. What's your favorite dumb subplot of the 2011-12 season?

During pregame intros for a Knicks-Suns game at MSG, I noticed Renaldo Balkman had thrown himself into that James Posey-type role for the Knicks: In other words, he's the last guy every starter greets during the intros, and he's the guy who waits at midcourt before the opening tap for one last round of "good luck" hugs and hand slaps. That got me thinking … why does every team suddenly have someone like this? Did James Posey start it? Was it Damon Jones? Was it someone earlier than them? Do teams elect this player or is it more of an unspoken embrace of that role? Does the player elect himself? What if two guys want to play that role? And what should we call this person?

Anyway, Grantland's Rembert Browne and I came up with the perfect name for this job ("The Chemist"); in terms of office chatter, it's reached the point where Grantland's Jay Caspian Kang sends us e-mails from Clipper games like, "Reggie Williams — F+ performance as OKC's chemist tonight!!!!" From what I've seen, the best two NBA chemists right now are Dr. Balkman and Dr. Nate Robinson; they're like the Bird and Magic of that job. If you think there's a better one, e-mail us or tweet us at twitter.com/nbachemist — we're planning on cranking out an NBA Chemist Power Rankings later this season. And you're right, I'm a little too obsessed with this. At every Clippers home game, I'm muttering to myself, "For God's sake, Mo Williams, just let Reggie Evans be the Chemist! Your heart's not in it! Just let him do it!"

17. Is Kobe Bryant the most polarizing NBA player of all time?

Watching 2012 Kobe has been like watching 2003 MJ play with a better 2003 Wizards team — 25 shots a night, no conscience, no first step, no fast break points, more tricks and upfakes than ever, little consideration for making his teammates better, and somehow, you still finish every Kobe game thinking, I have a ton of respect for that dude, there's just nobody like him.

How much should we hold it against him that he's cranking out his numbers and hoping it will be enough every night? As always, it depends on what you value in a basketball player. I keep coming back to something Phil Jackson mentioned during our lunch last spring, when the then-Lakers coach candidly admitted that he never wanted to be coaching Kobe when Kobe stopped being Kobe. I got the sense from Jackson that he believed he was cashing in his Kobe poker chips at the perfect time (and for a pretty substantial windfall). Not even a month later, Dallas swept the Lakers and Jackson retired. I bet he doesn't have any regrets. You don't want to be coaching Kobe when Kobe stops being Kobe.

All right, so … when will Kobe stop being Kobe? Why aren't we there yet? ****, why aren't we even close yet? How is this possible?

Even your staunchest Laker ***** (you know, like me) has been inspired by Kobe cranking out these 30-point nights while fighting off a mangled wrist, aching knees, advancing age (16 seasons!!!), a highly publicized divorce and a monstrosity of an NBA schedule. Nobody plays harder, nobody cares more, nobody plays at a higher level while enduring more pain. He's one of the most incredible athletes we will ever see, something of a basketball machine, someone singularly devoted to his craft, someone who has convinced himself that he can become immortal simply by playing well for a longer period of time than anyone else. Kareem remained elite for nearly two solid decades (1969 to 1987), won titles 17 years apart and captured Finals MVP trophies fourteen years apart (his most amazing feat). Kobe seems determined to play 25 years and matter for at least 20 of them. Even if he can't be greater than Jordan, Kobe knows he can have a greater career than Jordan because of his era-specific advantages (dieting, training, surgeries, stem cells, Germany trips, you name it). That's what fuels him. I really believe that. Kobe Bryant wants people to look back 200 years from now, compare the raw numbers and say to themselves, "Who was better, Kobe or Jordan?"

That's why any Kobe watcher knew he'd keep playing with that mangled wrist.7 You really think he would give up 10 weeks (and 1,000 points) after losing 16 lockout games (and another 500 points)? Come on. He's on a mission. If he cared only about winning, he would do his damndest to get Bynum (playing his best basketball ever) and Gasol (struggling without Odom, who was a terrific sidekick for him) more involved every night. If he cared only about chasing Kareem's record (and it sure seems like he does), then he'd match his 2006 scoring pace and just shoot 30 times a game.

What matters more? I don't even think Kobe knows. He flips back and forth depending on the night, or sometimes, even the quarter. Because he's saddled with such dreadful point guards, Kobe has the ball in his hands constantly — his 38.2 percent usage rate is his highest since his 2006 Teen Wolf season (38.7 percent), and higher than any Iverson season and any Jordan season except for 1988 (38.3) — making that ongoing internal struggle even more transparent. Unable to attack the rim with the abandon of his prime, Older Kobe works methodically at creating space for his 20-footers, turnarounds, leaners and double-pump jumpers. The degree of difficulty is off the charts — like watching someone throw for 300 yards a game without any decent receivers or something. He's remaining relevant simply because he couldn't stomach the thought of not being relevant.

Would you enjoy playing with him? Not this year. Not yet, anyway. But you'd respect him, marvel at him, remember him … and every night, you'd feel like you had a pretty good chance at winning. And so it goes for the most polarizing NBA superstar since Wilt.

You know what's really crazy? Somehow, this isn't the most riveting NBA story in Los Angeles. You know, because …

18. Are the Clippers really contenders? The Clippers???? IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING????

I'm saving my thoughts for a separate column. Just know this: I can't remember witnessing a better struggle between baggage and talent. Seriously, it's like a tug-of-war. They have two of the best 15 players in the league; they play their butts off; they already have a high-flying identity; they're talented enough that they already beat Miami, Dallas and Denver and whupped Oklahoma City; they're already embroiled in their first rivalry (a heated/bitter/hostile/awesome blood feud with the condescending big brother Lakers); they're a Kenyon Martin signing away from legitimately going nine deep (and they're the favorites to get him); and they can execute at the end of games because of Chris Paul (who's simply a maestro, and by the way, he's getting his own column, too). Anyone who watched Monday's beatdown of Oklahoma City knows that the 2012 Clippers are the most entertaining contender since the 2007 Suns. It's just a fact. If this were any other team, you'd think to yourself, What could possibly go wrong?

And yet …

There's Donald Sterling still sitting courtside with that grumpy look on his face …

And there's the immortal Vinny Del Negro still prowling the sidelines …

And there's 35 years of hard-core baggage hanging over everything.

Once upon a time, I watched my beloved Patriots suddenly shed four decades of skeletons, catch every conceivable break and pull off one of the biggest Super Bowl upsets ever. Ten years later, they have three trophies and they're gunning for a fourth on Sunday. It can be done. Maybe it's never been done by a franchise as fundamentally ****ed-up as the Clippers … but it can be done. Just know that, if Donald Sterling is holding up the Larry O'Brien Trophy in five months, we may as well just surround him with 200 Mayans chanting, "Ster-ling! Ster-ling! Ster-ling!"

19. What's been the biggest elephant in the room of the 2012 NBA season?

You mean, other than Clippers fans and Clippers season ticket holders (I include myself) believing they can make the Finals with Vinny Del Negro? Let's have RJ from New Orleans explain:

"Eric Gordon, our main get in the CP3 trade to the Clips, has played two games (TWO!) this season and may not be back until mid-March. He also turned down an extension, making him a restricted free agent come July. Are the Hornets now covered in the blood of the murdered Lakers-Rockets deal? Has David Stern effectively killed basketball in New Orleans?"

Poor RJ left out the declining asset of Minnesota's 2012 no. 1 pick (the T-Wolves are one win away from being .500 for the first time since one of Latrell Sprewell's checks cleared8), although building around Gordon and two top-12 picks in a loaded draft (and secretly tanking this season) isn't the worst thing in the world. Having said that, why won't the league extricate itself from this Hornets mess? Last week, they failed to extend Gordon because, you know, DAVID STERN WOULD HAVE BEEN THE ONE SIGNING HIM TO AN EXTENSION! Really, we're just going to let this f'ed-up train of hubris and greed keep chugging along at 80 miles an hour and plowing into cars and pedestrians? Can somebody call Chris Pine and Denzel Washington and tell them there's a runaway on the loose? A thousand tomato juice baths won't help Stern shake off the stink of what happened … and by the way, we're still four months away from an even bigger PR disaster at the 2012 NBA Lottery drawing (New Orleans winning the no. 1 pick, or even worse, two of the top three). Tebow help us.

20. What's been the most entertaining under-the-radar subplot of the 2011-12 season?

Even if it's another topic that needs to be blown out into its own column, let's quickly address the shadow of the 2012 Olympics and the three sub-questions it has spawned:

• Which 12 players are getting picked?
• Which five players are starting?
• Why are we pretending this doesn't matter to every NBA star when it clearly does?

We know LeBron, Wade, Kobe, Howard, Rose, Paul, Carmelo, Durant and Love are making the team; we know LeBron and Howard are definitely starting; and that's all we know. That means three roster spots and three starting spots are up for grabs, a juicy little subplot that hangs over the court like a thought bubble every time LaMarcus Aldridge and Blake Griffin battle this season, or Kobe and Wade, or Durant and Carmelo, or Paul and Rose, or Paul and Westbrook, or Aldridge and Griffin …

Here's the best example from this season (that I've witnessed, anyway): When Chicago played the Clippers right after Christmas, Rose and Paul traded punches like heavyweights for three quarters. At least five or six times after Paul made a play, Rose demanded the inbounds pass and tore down the court to answer him. You could tell Rose had something to prove — that he was the reigning MVP, that he owned a starting spot in London, that maybe a month of "Where's Chris Paul going?" hype shouldn't have mattered as much as it did. He torched the Clippers down the stretch, put away the game, then left room for one last ankle-breaking crossover in garbage time (finished with a gorgeous alley-oop pass for a Gibson dunk) before getting pulled and defiantly stomping back to Chicago's bench. If you were there, you knew this went deeper than basketball. Derrick Rose did everything short of standing on the scorer's table and holding up his point guard world championship belt.

Anyway, London's starting five looks like Rose, Kobe (the "token veteran" starter who also happens to be outplaying Wade right now), Durant (a heavy favorite after Carmelo's early swoon),9 LeBron (locked in) and Howard (locked in). Note to everyone who loves Spain in an upset pick: Rose-Kobe-Durant-LeBron-Howard double as our first-team All-NBA squad if the season ended today. It's the most loaded USA Hoops starting lineup of all time. Just remember that when you're talking yourself into betraying the country with a "Spain +600" gold medal pick.

As for Coach K's all-important second unit (remember, he plays 10 guys internationally), it's looking like Paul, Carmelo, Wade, Love and Tyson Chandler would be the favorites barring something crazy happening (like an injury, or Carmelo playing himself off this team). That leaves two more spots available for Griffin (the people's choice), LaMarcus Aldridge (a bigger body and a more logical choice than Griffin), Andre Iguodala (defense defense defense), Deron Williams (backcourt depth), Westbrook (ditto), Curry (long-range shooting), Chauncey Billups (veteran leadership) and Dr. Renaldo Balkman (chemist). If we're picking a basketball team and making sure we're covering every potential situation, then Aldridge and Iguodala should probably make it. If we're picking an All-Star team, then Westbrook and Griffin should go if only for their athleticism and garbage-time heroics (and the distinct possibility of Griffin trumping the Carter/Weis dunk). There's no easy answer, just like there's no easy answer with anything about this team.

In 1992, we knew the hierarchy: Michael leading the way, Charles and Scottie flanking him, Larry and Magic as the veterans, everyone else falling in line. In 2008, same thing: Kobe leading the way, LeBron and Wade flanking him, Kidd as the veteran, everyone else falling in line. There's a different feel to 2012, with everyone constantly battling for territory, turf and respect. Even watching that Clippers-Oklahoma City game on Monday, as Paul and Westbrook traded haymakers, I found myself thinking about London again. Is there more going on here? Are there telepathic messages being sent? Maybe it's a bad omen for our 2012 gold medal hopes, but that ongoing competitive edge — an Olympian one-upsmanship, if you will — is the cherry on the hot fudge sundae of an already compelling NBA season. Good times.

[Boltman]

Re: NBA Off Topic

Hell of a good read and lol @ What the hell is going on with Carlos Boozers hair.



then...



Saw that on another board and it gave me a good chuckle.

[SidVish]

Re: NBA Off Topic

Maybe he thought nobody would notice.

[SteelersFreak]

Re: NBA Off Topic

Hell of a good read and lol @ What the hell is going on with Carlos Boozers hair.



then...



Saw that on another board and it gave me a good chuckle.

LeBron needs to hit him up ASAP

[King_B_Mack]

Re: NBA Off Topic

LeBron needs to hit him up ASAP

Man LeBron tapped the secret already for that.

Spoiler

[23]

Re: NBA Off Topic

So you're saying Boozers hair is just a clever new headband?

[King_B_Mack]

Re: NBA Off Topic

So you're saying Boozers hair is just a clever new headband?

We only rock the finest of hair care here in the Chi. **** is real out here.

[23]

Re: NBA Off Topic

Thats's hilarious you have to admit it

Boozer one ups Lebron again

[ex carrabba fan]

Re: NBA Off Topic

Dang, this was so long ago

[ScoobySnax]

Re: NBA Off Topic

Can we sticky this thread?

[OSUFan_88]

Re: NBA Off Topic

Dang, this was so long ago

I hate everyone in that picture!