The Ted Turner Memoirs part 3: Painkillers Are A Man's Best Friend.

[Rexis]

Re: The Ted Turner Memoirs part 3: Painkillers Are A Man's Best Friend.

Are there any more trips to New York and will John Boy be traveling with the team? I imagine his cover getting blown pretty soon.

Hanson and J-Hey tho, *clapping emoticon code forgotten*

[lilbiggio]

Re: The Ted Turner Memoirs part 3: Painkillers Are A Man's Best Friend.

Are there any more trips to New York and will John Boy be traveling with the team? I imagine his cover getting blown pretty soon.

Hanson and J-Hey tho, *clapping emoticon code forgotten*

haha I'll answer that question with this simple image:



*shakes my damn head...*


I come up with this elaborate *** storyline going into the playoffs and then I realize a couple of nights ago that wait a minute did we get this fool up to the bigs quick enough? Sure logically it's apparent it's September. the calender says so.. which must mean we're in the window of time for September call ups, but you know just like the rent being 3 days late... You just have to feel uneasy on the exact timing of the call up to be credited for the postseason roster.

Let's go 88MPH into the future for a quick second Marty.. we won't save:



Nope, he's not going to be playing in the postseason. Queens or anywhere else this season. But... I guess on the otherhand, we got him good and ready for next season Day 1.

So with that fail out of the way, as everybody should know by now, this is not a dynasty where we micromanage day by day. there are plenty of other great sources of reading material that do that better than I'd ever want to do, so from here on out until game 1 of the NLDS we turn our attention to the pursuit of the MVP and the Tommy Hanson's 20th win.




Oh good, he's got his head down in self pity... that must mean something great has happened. Right?

[lilbiggio]

Re: The Ted Turner Memoirs part 3: Painkillers Are A Man's Best Friend.



Final game of the season, Tommy Hanson picked up the 20th win by pitching a complete game shutout into the 10th inning. That sounds like a great stat, right friends? A happy feel good story to end a year of domination right?


Well without context, sure that's awesome... he went HAM on the CPU to accomplish a sure fire pipeline to the Cy Young Award. However now let me drop the science for you because over the past 3 weeks it appeared MLB the Show was self inflicting Hanson with Thou shalt not win 20 games -itis"

I mean the picture with Hanson's head down is from 4 starts ago. He gave up a solo bomb and lost 1-0 to go 19-4 for the season. He had lost the prior simulated game vs. the Mets to drop from 19-3 to the level he was at now...

Don't tell me they not going to let us get 20+ and we might have to settle for 20..


ah sheesh.. it continues:

The next week a loss to the Brewers..

Then the very next start:



Up early with a 2 run cushion, Hanson gives up a Solo fly to Coogland, and then gets nickle and dimed the very next inning and gives up 2 more. He'd go all 9 innings as I desperately tried to have him in the game when we'd make our run and take the lead... but it never came and 10 win Josh Johnson made Hanson lose his 6th of the year.

So it wasn't until his fourth start... and last of the season, before we got that pivital win, and yes like I said earlier... he had to go 10 innings to get the decision. That was some weak BS... but hell, at the end of the day...


HE GOT THE EVEN TWENTY

[lilbiggio]

Re: The Ted Turner Memoirs part 3: Painkillers Are A Man's Best Friend.

More End of the Season Stuff for the Stat Geeks


Jason Heyward pulled out the MVP over Fielder... and really was there any question that this guy stepped his game up this 2012 season? A 50+ home run season. 130 RBI's... a .300+ batting average? C'mon Son...

Robbie Cano, flashed a great bat too this year, and equaled Heyward over in the junior circuit. Remember guys 1 of his 42 homeruns came off of Tommy Hanson in the 8th inning up in the Bronx. I certainly haven't forgotten that night.

For those taking score here are the other races and the top 3. this one doesn't come up a lot so I made sure to get a screencap as late in the season as I could:



And now for the moment we've all been waiting for since last season... the 2012 playoff bracket:

[lilbiggio]

Re: The Ted Turner Memoirs part 3: Painkillers Are A Man's Best Friend.

The Dance 2012


Who's invited

You'll notice that the Cardinals would flame out this year. A shame really, after all of their obnoxious Free Agent signings and even going as far to trade intradivision to get Jose Bautista. Well ultimately they did as Jim mora would say Diddly Poo.

The Cards are not going to be defending their title and I can't say that I know a team that can stop us now... The Reds take their place after narrowly defeating the Brew Crew by a single game to capture the NL Central.

Up at the top we get a rematch of the classic 2011 NLDS series vs. the Rockies. For those that need reminding ONE word would describe it: ****

Game 5 - A Return to Coors (2011 FLASHBACK)

Well one other word that's not banned can also describe it: MEMORABLE. We had beanings, homeruns, walk offs, It had everything. All the same cast of characters are back for both teams so we know it's going to be a good one in part 2 of this battle.


Over on the dirty side, we got some legitimate matchups come out of the playoff tin can. The 99 win Yankees led by MVP Robinson Cano, and Cy Young award winner CC "19 wins on my belt" Sabathia look to be the favorites as they take on a Rangers squad led by CJ Wilson who dumped us on the phone when we asked him out, and snuck into the backdoor of the playoffs like a sketchy tramp because of the weak AL West.

Let's scroll down a bit shall we.. because the team that nobody is talking about and should be though is the Tigers. Yes they play the Red Sox who were in the World Series last year. They have all the stars, but the Tigers have all the cheat players that the CPU loves to boost up for no reason. Watch Cabrera have a great post season at the Red Sox expense... it couldn't be anymore obvious, but then again I have seen this story play out numerous times so that's why i go there...




My predictions?

We cruise through the NL defeating the Rockies in a close series. The Reds knock off the Padres, and then we power our way over the Reds who just can't rely on Joey Votto against our arms when the stakes are at their highest.

Over in the AL, there is no question that the Yankees are our biggest competition. They have all the same tools and will probably sim well on that side. As I said earlier the Tigers might can get them.. but it'll be in 7 for sure. I could easily see the Tigers facing us in the World Series... but I expect the Yankees to be looking at us for the final 7 games in a true 1 vs. 1 scenario to end the 2012 year.



Of course you knew it wasn't going to be THAT easy... it wouldn't be the Ted Turner Memoirs if we just walzted to the podium and grabbed the World Series trophy with 0 obstacles. So it's really convenient that my entire team is ice cold 1 through 9. For those shouting hey wait bro, What about Julio Lugo? He isn't cold...

NO! Julio Lugo is not a viable option. You know that. You know that average Julio Lugo is basically a cold player. And cold Julio Lugo is a skeleton.

Damn it not now... not after 100 wins... Atleast they didn't go as far as make the 2012 MVP cold too... that'd have been ridiculous.

*SMH*

[lilbiggio]

Re: The Ted Turner Memoirs part 3: Painkillers Are A Man's Best Friend.

FOR the second year in a row, the Rockies and Atlanta Braves locked horns in a NLDS battle for the ages...

First of all, left handed pitching... you goin' to stop f'n pitching to Dan Uggla. I'm saying that right now.


Bros I've mentioned this countless times throughout this dynasty. Uggla goes beast mode for some reason with the camera offset and any pitch that's not out of the zone. Don't know why, don't care to know why. Again. You goin' to learn to stop pitching to this guy.




Literally called this one before it happened.

Me: Clearly they ain't going to pitch to this guy. He is soooo due right now. I bet he get atleast one tonight.

Next pitch, hanging curve.

And boy did he hit the everlasting **** out of this one. Power swing activated, pitch down the middle. 474 FEET LATER the ball landed. I for sure saved that one for the archives... wait for the end of the series for the footage because it was remarkable. A bonafide moonshot.

As good as Game 1 went, I was hoping we'd could continue it into game 2, and make this a quick series as predicted...





Santana got us though... dude was brilliant on the mound. Not sure why he wasn't the starter for game 1 but oh well... the Rockies got the much needed and neccessary road game and take HFA into Coors. A place we have historically been garbage at.

[lilbiggio]

Re: The Ted Turner Memoirs part 3: Painkillers Are A Man's Best Friend.

We get off the plane at Denver International and damn son there's definitely a chill in the air with the local temps at 33 degrees and dropping. Thank goodness Game 3 is a day game... long sleeves still neccessary but once the players got out on the field they didn't look the least bit tight at all...



Game of the series right here. You knew the winner would have a legit shot at advancing into the next round. We got up big off of a surprising great day from Freddie Freeman. The Rockies had to make it difficult as CarGo took Jair Jurrjens on a ride to the upper deck tying the score at trey-trey, but lo and behold..

it would be the MVP Jason Heyward who would come through in the top of the 5th with a looping liner that just stayed out of the reach of Jason Werth and scored the go ahead run...




Damn I'm lovin' this dude... he's been critical to our success this year homies...




And then game 4 we threw Medlen at them. It was a little more difficult than I would have liked. The Rockies wouldn't die at all. Ian Stewart even looked to be the HERO as he drove in the go ahead run in the bottom frame of the 7th.

..but the Rockies bullpen fell apart like moldy cornbread from Granny's kitchen and with Uggla up there against a righty, we rolled the diced that he do anything but strike out, and YEAH BUDDY he got a freaking hit for once. Clutch at that. Score the tying run for the good guys..

Prado came up pinch hit for Schafer and got the other two boys across and fellas... within the hour, we were dancing on their mound. We won guys 6 to 3... much easier than last year for sure, and our quest will continue for another day.

[lilbiggio]

Re: The Ted Turner Memoirs part 3: Painkillers Are A Man's Best Friend.

The 2012 NLDS: A Recap


* Things to watch for:
*Uggla's Homerun that was destroyed and hit so high, you could see out of the stadium. That bomb went 474.

* Furcal's bang bang double play
* That's Big Z chopping it up on the basepaths.
* Uggla backhand flip
* Mike Minor clinches on a caught looking changeup for Strike 3

The 2012 ALCS and NLCS: A Preview


Whaddya know... I told you Detroit was on some bullshishkabobs! They destroyed Boston in this series and move on to face the powerful Yankees. It will be a little tougher for them that's for sure. Cano had a great series, he hit 3 jacks. But the other bad boys of the Yankees went off too as Big Tex had 3 homers, and A Rod had 3 homers... not sure if they can replicate that against the superior pitching of the Tigers but the Yankees have put the league on notice that they will not be 1 and done in any round of this 2012 postseason.

Yankees in 6



On the otherside of the pond we match up against the Padres. They have literally nobody in their lineup that is going to be a tough out. Yes they have plenty of annoying "boost" players. Yes they have the advantage that it's going to take possibly 3 games to develop a gameplan against them since we don't play San Diego a lot in the regular season.

But let's be real friends.. they are just simply not that good. Their pitcher Tim Stuaffer is their best player. He was runner up to the Cy Young award behind Tommy Hanson this season with 18 wins.. but he can only play 2 games, 3 if it goes 7...... San Diego is the clear underdog here so the safe bet is that he won't get a third game.

Atlanta in 5

[lilbiggio]

Re: The Ted Turner Memoirs part 3: Painkillers Are A Man's Best Friend.

As good as things were going on the field, as we all know, behind the scenes Ted Turner was working under borrowed time. Today Josh the Security Guy walked in looking extra demoralized. In his hand, a letter from the Cobb County 34th District Court. Ironically it was addressed to him, but knowing our story well... we knew this was Ted's letter really.

Josh: I think this is the letter Mr. Turner. Those a**holes have gone on and served you... *erm ME over the ownership of the Atlanta Braves. I-I.. don't really want to be anybody's patsy Mr. Turner.

Ted Turner: Now there's nothing wrong with being a good fall guy kid...

Josh: Mr Turner?!

Ted Turner:I kid... I kid... and you're quite sure that's not just a Christmas card son?

Josh: From the State of Georgia? From District Attorney Roberts? You think the state of Georgia really got time to be sending Hallmarks right now Mr. Turner?

Ted Turner: Hey... we ARE winning ballgames Josh.

Josh: Seriously?... C'mon Mr. Turner this is a legitimate problem. What do we do. How are we going to get out of THIS one?

Ted Turner: ... well.... you haven't opened it right?

Josh: Nope..

Ted Turner: Good... it ain't legal until you open it.

Josh: Is that right?

Ted Turner: Sure... Google said so.

[decga]

Re: The Ted Turner Memoirs part 3: Painkillers Are A Man's Best Friend.

Very entertaining. I was scared last week I thought you stop posting.

[lilbiggio]

Re: The Ted Turner Memoirs part 3: Painkillers Are A Man's Best Friend.

Very entertaining. I was scared last week I thought you stop posting.

Ah naw... I think that week in particular was a ridiculous work week for me + Holidays. I'll for sure bring it to a conclusion though and not just fade out....


but we are a long way from that day in time, so moving on, it's now NLCS Time!




I feel kind of bad for talking so much smack about the San Diego Padres. As if they didn't win 98 games this past season. As if they didn't have two 15+ game winners. As if they didn't have the best closer in the game. I should have known better. We got our win in 5 games prediction handed to us like a KFC chicken dinner.

Nothing went right, nobody could buy a hit as it was Clayton Richard, not Tim Stuaffer who dealt on the mound for the Padres. Man it's game 1, the red jersies are done for the rest of the playoffs, and we still got the runner up to the Cy Young next game...



What the hell has gotten into Carlos Zambrano? Part 2 I guess...

So Tommy Hanson goes out, I felt a sure fire win in our pocket, but chokes at home to put us in a 0-1 hole. Enter Zambrano, an overpaid FA. An up and down starter with more downs than ups...

Enter Carlos Zambrano, a guy throwing a complete game 5 hitter in a must win game to avoid being down 2 going back to the Left coast.

Hell yea... We want some more.. we want some more!

He wasn't really over powering or throwing anything out of the ordinary. He just seemed to keep the ball in the park just more times than usual. Sometimes that's all you need to do. We needed it in the worse way after Hanson let us down honestly.

So now let's pack our bags, load our ipods and head off to Southern California. Game 3 & 4 on the slate.

[lilbiggio]

Re: The Ted Turner Memoirs part 3: Painkillers Are A Man's Best Friend.

So after splitting the first two games if we had ringside judges, they'd be scoring this matchup 50-50 across the board. For as bad as our 4-0 loss was in game 1. Our 4-0 Win in game 2 made up for our loss of confidence.


Game 3 at PetCo Park was a return to what we expected from a ballclub trying to reach the promised land for the second time in three years. Let's keep it 100% right now for a moment, this would be a loss of a season, avoiding the Cardinals and then losing to a team with the talent of San Diego. Not taking anything away from the Padres, or annointing ourselves too early, but it'd be a dissapointment.




Jair Jurrjens and the bullpen put in work helping us shutout the Padres for the second consecutive game. It wasn't easy by any means, but it got to a point where we hit a stride with our bullpen. Kenshin Kawakami has emerged as not only our mop up guy, but a proven strikeout/groundout/flyout machine and is now making appearances as the middle inning guy. A rather nice promotion for our former starter now in the pen.

For those taking score, Yes... yes, this would have been precisely John Rocker's role, but we won't go back to why that is not the case. Still kicking myself for that error.

Oh just a sec... got a ticker update from the other game going on tonight:




Haha, going 11 innings I see... Detroit trying their hardest not to get punched out of the playoffs by the Yankees...


Anyhoo, once you get Kawakami, it's the usual, O'Flaherty/Venters/Kimbrell combination that has been lethal all year long. We're going to start handing the ball over a little bit earlier now as this series progresses and the Padres start getting accustomed to the pitches our pitchers are throwing usually by the second time through the order.

[lilbiggio]

Re: The Ted Turner Memoirs part 3: Painkillers Are A Man's Best Friend.

And just as quick as we give the bullpen their credit... not 30 minutes later that same night. "They" Taketh Away...

They being the bullpen, the computer A.I., the Padres imposing their will over the favorited Braves or whatever... things didn't go the way we wanted them to boys and girls. We got ourselves into a dogfight now...




Oh No... Mike Minor in a game that would have all but salted the NLCS in our favor, handed the ball over to Peter Moylan who would proceed to give it up late, and then the Padres brought in Heath Bell and you can kind of guess how that went.

To be honest we were due, this would have been the third straight game that we walked a fine line of not scoring a lot of runs, and yet the Padres offense failing to respond. Tonight, they had to respond and well when they broke ahead 3 to 2... I felt frustrated that we didn't put them away earlier when we had the chance. We for sure let them hang around too many innings this entire series, and it burnt us in game 4.


Instead of up 3-1, we're now tied 2-2... with a 5th game vs. San Diego at their house that could flip this series in either teams favor.

Will we pull this off, or fall flat in the Championship Series for the second year in a row? I really did think this series was going to be a cake walk considering the lineups but now we are getting apparently the Padres best shot and could legit screw up this season if the ball doesn't fall the right way in game 5.


Screw me for trusting the bullpen...

[lilbiggio]

Re: The Ted Turner Memoirs part 3: Painkillers Are A Man's Best Friend.



Who the hell is this guy?!

Where else could we go to find out the deep dark secrets of a relative unknown player? MLB the Show doesn't really have a good bio system... hmm.. ah yes, Wikipedia.

Jason Bartlett a guy who stole a base in the 5th inning of Game 1 of the World Series, earning America a free taco from Taco Bell.[3] Bartlett finished the season batting .286 with one home run, and was voted by local Tampa sportswriters as the Rays' MVP for the year.[4]

On December 17, 2010, Bartlett was traded to the San Diego Padres for Adam Russell, Cesar Ramos, Brandon Gomes, and Cole Figueroa.[1]

In 2011, he had the lowest slugging percentage of all major league ballplayers with 512 or more plate appearances, at .307.

AH... interesting.

So why the heck is this guy now Joe Dimaggio out of nowhere? And batting right in front of the pitcher at that? Ok.. ok.. we've learned our lesson.. this fool is getting pitched around the rest of the series. Thanks to him, and our ineptness at the plate.. we lose game 5 with Tommy Hanson on the mound once again giving up a 4 spot, and are now down 3-2 going back to the ATL.

[lilbiggio]

Re: The Ted Turner Memoirs part 3: Painkillers Are A Man's Best Friend.

Game 6 was an instant classic:



So we throw Medlen at them game 6, and he did pretty good, but the Padres still found ways to get these pesky runs and critical hits to extend their season. However in true CPU and sometimes Ted Turner fashion, the pitcher stayed in the game one inning too long, and Prado came through with a clutch solo bomb in the 8th to tie the game and send it into extras.

Both teams came up empty in the 10th but the 11th belonged to Brian McCann who hit a screamer down the rightfield line scoring Nate McLouth on a bang bang hit and run that worked in our favor.

So now gentlemen... it comes down to this.



Game 7. Winner take all. Winner gains the pennant. A right to face the historic New York Yankees. If the Padres pull off the upset it'd be their first pennant in 14 years and would set up a brilliant rematch of the 98' Fall Classic. Of course on the flipside we all know what's on the line win or lose for our franchise.

In a game of this magnitude we'd usually lean towards Tommy Hanson. The Cy Young. Our pitching MVP.... but you know what? He's been stinking it up so bad the past two games.. let's go Big Z, Carlos Zambrano for Game 7. Time to roll the dice bros...



And yes... we're pulling out the lucky reds one more time.