Not to small to play football: Maestro's Story

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  • bad_philanthropy
    MVP
    • Jul 2005
    • 12167

    #1

    Not to small to play football: Maestro's Story



    Tucked away in Monmouth County New Jersey the town of Long Branch New Jersey. This town of roughly 30, 000 was by all accounts a nice place to live. For Yolanda Murphy it was a far cry from the Miami neighborhood in which she had grown up. She had come a long way, getting her education in Coral Gables at the University of Miami and now operating a successful drapery business in lace Long Branch where she figured would be the perfect place to raise her son Maestro, who she had when she was still in college. Maestro’s father Dontrell was on the taller side at 6’3” and a sturdy frame of over two-hundred pounds, but his son Maestro would never be blessed with his physical attributes as his father also carried with him a recessive genetic trait that caused an obscure medical condition in which his offspring would be extremely tiny. Shortly after Yolanda got pregnant, Dontrell was never heard from again.


    The hardest part about it all was how odd her pregnancy was. Yolanda was experiencing all the symptoms that a pregnant woman would experience, and in addition she must have urinated on about thirty of those pregnancy test sticks and gotten a positive result each time. The doctor even confirmed that she was pregnant using a more advanced pee test. Finally in her third trimester she was living the pregnant woman’s dream, her chest size had increased but her midsection had remained as slim as it had ever been, and when she went for one final ultrasound they found a tiny heartbeat barely noticeable but it was there. From that day on Yolanda kept herself on the highest of alert, she would not even sit down in fears that she had already birthed her son and he may be somewhere in her panties and she did not want to sit on him or anything. Then, one fine summer day in 1988, she was on her way to a doctors appoitment when she had to stop to use the lavatory facilities of a gas station. She had been keeping herself well hydrated as per doctors’ orders but as a result had been making frequent trips to the restroom. Midstream, Yolanda noted a curious sound and immediately rose to survey the situation. There floating in the toilet water was a little speck, her mother’s intuition immediately knew that it was her baby, her Maestro. She never told anyone that she gave birth to her son by expelling him while she urinated, the fact that her body could multi-task and coordinate the two orifices to expel stuff at the same time was remarkable.



    Maestro had a tough time growing up, his mother coddled him because he was only a few inches tall, and he wasn’t allowed to go out and play with the other kids at recess for fear of being squashed. Kids can be so cruel, even if he could go out to play at recess it wasn’t as if any of the kids would play with him, because he was different from them. Maestro had only one friend, consequently it was Max Sharpe a kid with glaucoma so bad he couldn’t differentiate between whether Maestro was seven inches or seven feet tall, he just understood him to be a short kid who’s mom was overprotective.



    As far back as he could remember Maestro had always been a Miami Hurricanes football fan, his mother a Miami graduate would often talk to him about the times she had there and that maybe some day he would go to school there. Maestro agreed, but he had decided that he would be going there to play football. It was Max Sharpe who finally made him sign up for the football team in middle school. Max told him: “So you’re a little short? At least you can see!” The Coach was reluctant at first and refused to let Maestro play but when Maestro snuck onto the field without anyone noticing and took that snot nosed quarterback Johnny Miller down and out for the year Coach knew he had himself a football player. Maestro was a star in the middle school ranks, but knew that he would have to be even better if he ever wanted to play for Miami. So he sent a letter to former U star Ray Lewis who like Maestro played the linebacker position. Ray was so touched by Maestro’s story that he used some of his NFL money to have Maestro sized weight training equipment designed and sent to him. Maestro used it for several hours each day and by the time he got to high school he was no longer that little guy. Opposing offensives thought of him more along the lines of the demonic doll from those “Child’s Play” movies, scurrying around and attacking without the victim ever noticing.



    So come his senior year Miami was looking for some good PR for once, still recovering from the whole Willie Williams recruiting debacle, and what better they thought than bring a human interest story like Maestro Murphy on board. There was never any intention of letting him see the field, maybe they’d give him a “Rudy” moment in the final game of his senior year but Lucifer Pagnici and the Miami Hurricanes coaching staff were about to find out that he wasn’t just at Miami on a football scholarship to sit on the bench as a PR move, he was there to play football. At seven inches tall and a weight relative to 240lbs based on his physical constitution Maestro is without question, the smallest person to ever play football. Perhaps one day we shall reflect upon the words of young Maestro Murphy -wise beyond his years and say that truer words have never been spoken.



    “I’m just a football player who happens to be seven inches tall”

    -Maestro Murphy

    First game vs. Cinci upcoming.
    Last edited by bad_philanthropy; 07-20-2005, 01:27 PM.
  • dagger55
    No end in sight...
    • Jul 2004
    • 7907

    #2
    Re: Not to small to play football: Maestro's Story

    I cannot wait to see this thing play out. I want LOTS of photos!!!

    MAESTRO FOR HEISMAN!
    Last edited by dagger55; 07-20-2005, 10:01 AM.

    Comment

    • CountryBumpkin
      Rookie
      • Nov 2004
      • 42

      #3
      Re: Not to small to play football: Maestro's Story

      LOL...I'm all over this thread. Nice read on Maestro...

      Comment

      • Jimplication
        MVP
        • Aug 2004
        • 3591

        #4
        Re: Not to small to play football: Maestro's Story

        Now the court square's just a set of streets
        That the people go around but they seldom think
        Bout the little man that built this town
        Before the big money shut em down
        And killed the little man
        Oh the little man

        It wasn't long ago when I was a child
        An old black man came with his mule and his plow
        He broke the ground where we grew our garden
        Back before we'd all forgotten
        about the little man
        The little man
        Long live the little man
        God bless the little man


        Alan Jackson's "Little Man"
        Enjoy football? Enjoy Goal Line Blitz!

        Comment

        • mgoblue
          Go Wings!
          • Jul 2002
          • 25477

          #5
          Re: Not to small to play football: Maestro's Story

          Originally posted by CountryBumpkin
          LOL...I'm all over this thread. Nice read on Maestro...
          wow, that was very well written, and funny...nice job, keep it up
          Nintendo Switch Friend Code: SW-7009-7102-8818

          Comment

          • bad_philanthropy
            MVP
            • Jul 2005
            • 12167

            #6
            Re: Not to small to play football: Maestro's Story

            This was for all those people who were sorry for him. But he never made any apologies, he was who he was. All his life he had been Maestro Murphy the tiny guy, and more recently since signing his letter of intent he had heard the whispers around the student body about him being dubbed "The Miami Midget." Whatever, he knew who he was, who he is. He is Maestro Murphy linebacker, Maestro Murphy, Miami Hurricane.

            Going into training camp there was a great deal of youth at the middle linebacker spot whereas both the outside positions were pretty much set with veterans Willie Williams and Tavares Gooden patrolling the perimeter. Coach Lucifer Pagnici had himself a brilliant idea. He noticed that Maestro was tearing it up for the second team defense so he decided to move him to the first team middle linebacker spot. Maestro only played better and earned his spot in the starting lineup. Another shocking discovery was made during training camp, and that was just how effective Maestro was with the ball in hand. He was tough to catch, and could be seen on more than one occaision just zipping between the legs of the defense for a score.

            Game time. The butterflies in his stomach felt more like a swarm of killer bees, looking down at himself he let go of his tough-as-nails exterior and had a moment. When he gathered in the tunnel with his teammates he understood that there would be many eyes on him, supporters, and naysayers Maestro honestly didn't care about any of that he was just ready to play football. It was all so sudden, the chanting, the grunting, the screaming, Maestro was so filled with elation it was as if his body took over and sprinted by itself down the tunnel, through the smoke, and out into the Florida afternoon sun beaming down on the Orange Bowl field.

            It was almost as if the offense had it out for Maestro on this day, the little spectacle, he had Bearcats offensive lineman flying at him all day, fullbacks falling on him, but through it all he managed to record his first three tackles and recover his first fumble. On offense he had what can only be described as a perfect start. He got the ball once in the red zone and scored, so that warranted eighteen more carries which he used to rack up 102 yards and one more score. He even hauled in a tipped pass for a 27 yard reception. All in all, not a bad first outing especially considering that he was named that Miami player of the game in the 62-7 drubbing of the Bearcats.

            Maestro lines up on defense for the first play of his career. This is where it all begins.


            Maestro was in tough all day against the relentless pounding from the blockers


            Maestro breaks the plain for the first score of his career


            The line of Maestro's first game




            Comment

            • dagger55
              No end in sight...
              • Jul 2004
              • 7907

              #7
              Re: Not to small to play football: Maestro's Story

              great stuff!!! keep it up

              the pic of the cincy guy looks like he is trying to pound him with his hand!

              Comment

              • dust247
                MVP
                • Jul 2003
                • 3369

                #8
                Re: Not to small to play football: Maestro's Story

                I will be reading this too. And I agree with dagger55, it does look like the Cincy guy is trying to smash him with his hand.
                Colorado Avalanche (NHL)
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                • bad_philanthropy
                  MVP
                  • Jul 2005
                  • 12167

                  #9
                  Re: Not to small to play football: Maestro's Story

                  Originally posted by dust247
                  I will be reading this too. And I agree with dagger55, it does look like the Cincy guy is trying to smash him with his hand.
                  Well it's much easier than flicking him.

                  Comment

                  • Cyros
                    ULTRAAAA!!!!
                    • Jun 2003
                    • 12628

                    #10
                    Re: Not to small to play football: Maestro's Story

                    You'd think he'd be pretty easy to strip if they could catch him.
                    Watch Me Twitch

                    My Video Game Streams

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                    • skitch
                      Fear Ameer
                      • Oct 2002
                      • 12349

                      #11
                      Re: Not to small to play football: Maestro's Story

                      LMAO!

                      Wow, this should be interesting.

                      Comment

                      • BhamTiger
                        Pro
                        • Nov 2004
                        • 710

                        #12
                        Re: Not to small to play football: Maestro's Story

                        Read the original thread and was cracking up at the videos.

                        I especially love the TD picture. It looks like the ball is just sitting there.

                        Plus, the name.. Maestro. Did you name him or was it CPU generated?
                        Once upon a time, I had a lovely signature. Then it died. The end.

                        Comment

                        • bad_philanthropy
                          MVP
                          • Jul 2005
                          • 12167

                          #13
                          Re: Not to small to play football: Maestro's Story

                          The name was cpu generated.

                          Comment

                          • dagger55
                            No end in sight...
                            • Jul 2004
                            • 7907

                            #14
                            Re: Not to small to play football: Maestro's Story

                            Originally posted by bad_philanthropy
                            The name was cpu generated.
                            i think that really adds to the comedy

                            "Maestro Murphy"

                            it doesnt get in better than that. Keep it coming man. Get Maestro on the cover of SI and win that heisman!

                            Comment

                            • Acid
                              Mr. Brightside
                              • May 2003
                              • 16954

                              #15
                              Re: Not to small to play football: Maestro's Story

                              Originally posted by dagger55
                              i think that really adds to the comedy

                              "Maestro Murphy"

                              it doesnt get in better than that. Keep it coming man. Get Maestro on the cover of SI and win that heisman!
                              For some reason I keep thinking of that Seinfeld episode when Elaine dates The Maestro, and he makes everyone call him Maestro.

                              :y4:
                              Blind to this impending fate
                              We let the world carry our weight
                              It's back breaks with every mile
                              But we all live in denial

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