Tucked away in Monmouth County New Jersey the town of Long Branch New Jersey. This town of roughly 30, 000 was by all accounts a nice place to live. For Yolanda Murphy it was a far cry from the
The hardest part about it all was how odd her pregnancy was. Yolanda was experiencing all the symptoms that a pregnant woman would experience, and in addition she must have urinated on about thirty of those pregnancy test sticks and gotten a positive result each time. The doctor even confirmed that she was pregnant using a more advanced pee test. Finally in her third trimester she was living the pregnant woman’s dream, her chest size had increased but her midsection had remained as slim as it had ever been, and when she went for one final ultrasound they found a tiny heartbeat barely noticeable but it was there. From that day on Yolanda kept herself on the highest of alert, she would not even sit down in fears that she had already birthed her son and he may be somewhere in her panties and she did not want to sit on him or anything. Then, one fine summer day in 1988, she was on her way to a doctors appoitment when she had to stop to use the lavatory facilities of a gas station. She had been keeping herself well hydrated as per doctors’ orders but as a result had been making frequent trips to the restroom. Midstream, Yolanda noted a curious sound and immediately rose to survey the situation. There floating in the toilet water was a little speck, her mother’s intuition immediately knew that it was her baby, her Maestro. She never told anyone that she gave birth to her son by expelling him while she urinated, the fact that her body could multi-task and coordinate the two orifices to expel stuff at the same time was remarkable.
Maestro had a tough time growing up, his mother coddled him because he was only a few inches tall, and he wasn’t allowed to go out and play with the other kids at recess for fear of being squashed. Kids can be so cruel, even if he could go out to play at recess it wasn’t as if any of the kids would play with him, because he was different from them. Maestro had only one friend, consequently it was Max Sharpe a kid with glaucoma so bad he couldn’t differentiate between whether Maestro was seven inches or seven feet tall, he just understood him to be a short kid who’s mom was overprotective.
As far back as he could remember Maestro had always been a Miami Hurricanes football fan, his mother a Miami
So come his senior year Miami was looking for some good PR for once, still recovering from the whole Willie Williams recruiting debacle, and what better they thought than bring a human interest story like Maestro Murphy on board. There was never any intention of letting him see the field, maybe they’d give him a “Rudy” moment in the final game of his senior year but Lucifer Pagnici and the Miami Hurricanes coaching staff were about to find out that he wasn’t just at Miami on a football scholarship to sit on the bench as a PR move, he was there to play football. At seven inches tall and a weight relative to 240lbs based on his physical constitution Maestro is without question, the smallest person to ever play football. Perhaps one day we shall reflect upon the words of young Maestro Murphy -wise beyond his years and say that truer words have never been spoken.
“I’m just a football player who happens to be seven inches tall”
-Maestro Murphy
First game vs. Cinci upcoming.
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