Re: Here to Prove.
A Nuisance In My Own Damn Mind
Cam wasn’t sure if showing up unannounced was the right move, but he’d spent most of the day restless in his apartment, pacing and feeling stuck in his own head. The lingering effects of the late hit that had taken him out of UTSA’s game against East Carolina weren’t as frustrating as the time it cost him. Sitting out of practice felt like torture. So here he was, standing at the door of Kayla’s jiu-jitsu studio, holding a bag of takeout in one hand and an uneasy feeling in his chest. He stepped inside, and the soft bell over the door announced his arrival.
Kayla glanced up from behind the counter and smiled—a reaction that immediately eased his nerves. “Cam,” she said, her voice light with surprise, “what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be resting?”
“I figured I’d get out for a bit,” he replied, shifting the bag in his hand. “Thought maybe we could just hang out.”
Her smile widened. “I like that idea.”
The studio was quiet, most of the day’s students long gone. A few mats were still out, and Kayla had been halfway through tidying up. She nodded toward a bench by the wall. “Make yourself comfortable. I’ll finish up here.”
Cam set the bag down and settled onto the bench, the weight of his restlessness lifting slightly. “Brought some food, by the way,” he said, holding up the takeout bag.
“You’re already my favorite guest,” she teased, and he chuckled.
They sat together not long after, sharing the food. As they ate, Kayla glanced at him. “How are you doing? Really?”
Cam leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and letting out a heavy sigh. He stared at the floor for a moment before answering, his voice low and tinged with frustration. “I don’t know, Kayla. I’ve never had to deal with this before. I’ve been hurt before, but this—this feels different. It’s not just the injury. It’s the fact that everything’s off. My routine, my focus—it’s all out of sync. Every day, I’m used to being out there with my guys, grinding, pushing through it together. Now I’m just… sitting at home, doing nothing. It’s killing me.”
She nodded, letting him vent without interrupting, her eyes fixed on him as he continued.
“I’m supposed to be helping them prepare for the next game. Breaking down film, running the plays, leading by example. That’s my job,” he said, his tone intensifying. “But instead, I’m sitting in my apartment staring at the same damn walls, replaying that hit over and over in my head. I feel like I’m letting them down just by not being there.”
Kayla tilted her head, her gaze softening further. “Cam, you’re not letting anyone down. You’re a competitor—I get that. Sitting out probably feels worse than the injury itself. But your team knows who you are and what you mean to them. Just because you’re not on the field this week doesn’t mean you’ve stopped being their leader.”
He shook his head, rubbing his hands over his face. “It’s not that easy. Football is everything to me. The schedule, the structure—it keeps me steady. Without it, I just feel... lost. Like I’m a nuisance in my own damn mind.”
The vulnerability in his voice caught Kayla off guard. She had always seen Cam as larger than life—confident, in control, untouchable even. Seeing this side of him, the weight he carried on his own shoulders, made her heart ache.
“Cam,” she said softly, “you’re allowed to feel this way. You’ve been operating at a hundred miles an hour for so long, it makes sense that slowing down feels wrong. But you’re not stuck forever. You’ll get back to your routine, back to your team. You just have to give yourself a little grace right now.”
Cam let her words sink in, his posture relaxing slightly as he met her eyes. “I guess,” he muttered, though the fight in him hadn’t completely faded. “I just hate feeling like I’m not doing enough. Sitting still? That’s not me.”
Kayla offered him a small smile. “Maybe right now, sitting still is exactly what you need to do. You don’t always have to be running the show, Cam. Sometimes, it’s okay to let yourself rest.”
Cam leaned back against the wall, letting out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. “I don’t know how to do that,” he admitted quietly.
She reached out, resting a hand on his arm for just a moment. “You’ll figure it out.”
For the first time all day, Cam felt a flicker of relief. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to keep him grounded, at least for a little while.
A little later, as Kayla finished up her end-of-day tasks, Cam found himself sitting with her daughter, Zoe. The eight-year-old had brought over her collection of Pokémon cards, and soon they were deeply engrossed in discussing the best combinations for battling.
“This one’s your favorite?” Cam asked, holding up a holographic card.
“Yeah!” Zoe exclaimed. “It’s super strong, and it’s shiny. Shiny means it’s lucky.”
“Lucky, huh?” Cam said, smiling. “Guess I’ll need one of these then.”
Kayla, folding towels by the counter, found herself watching the two of them. The way Cam leaned down to Zoe’s level, the genuine interest he showed in whatever she was saying—it warmed her heart in a way that caught her off guard. She smiled, letting herself soak in the moment, until Cam looked up and caught her staring.
Embarrassed, she quickly turned back to her work, her cheeks burning.
When Kayla finished tidying up, she sat back down across from Cam. He was leaning against the wall, his legs stretched out in front of him, looking more at ease than when he’d arrived. She studied him for a moment, her curiosity outweighing the hesitation to ask what was on her mind.
Cam noticed her watching him and raised an eyebrow. “What?” he asked.
She hesitated briefly, then asked, her tone soft but serious, “Why did you come here?”
He blinked, caught off guard. “Tonight? I told you—I just needed to get out. Should I leave?”
“No!” she said quickly, shaking her head, her hands raised as if to stop him. “I didn’t mean tonight. I meant here… as in UTSA. I’m sure you could’ve gone anywhere. Texas, Alabama, Georgia. Why not one of those? Why here?”
Her words hung in the air for a moment, and Cam looked at her, his expression thoughtful. He leaned back again, letting out a small chuckle. “You sound like my high school coach,” he said. “He couldn’t believe it either.”
Kayla shrugged, her lips curving into a faint smile. “I mean, can you blame me? It’s not every day that a guy like you ends up at a place like this. No offense to UTSA, but you could’ve had your pick.”
Cam nodded, his gaze drifting toward the floor. “You’re right. I did have offers from those schools. Texas. Georgia. Even Alabama came knocking.”
“So why didn’t you go?” she pressed, genuinely curious.
He paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts. “Honestly? A few reasons. The big programs are great, sure, but they’re pressure cookers in a different way. I wanted to play right away, not sit behind some five-star for two years waiting for my turn. UTSA gave me that opportunity. I felt comfortable with the coaching staff too—Coach Traylor, he was real with me from the start. No BS, no sales pitch. Just football and honesty. I liked that. Some of the other schools weren't as genuine.”
He glanced up at her and shrugged. “And being close to my mom mattered. We've only really had each other for a long time, and I didn’t want to be across the country when she might need me.”
Kayla nodded slowly, her expression softening as she listened. “That makes sense,” she said. “Family is everything.”
“Yeah,” he agreed, his voice quiet. “It just felt right. UTSA might not have the same clout as those big schools, but I knew I could make an impact here, maybe help put this place on the map.”
She smiled at that, the respect she already had for him growing even more. But she wasn’t done yet. After a moment, she asked, “Okay, so why here here?”
Cam furrowed his brow slightly. “What do you mean?”
She gestured around the studio. “This place. My studio. When I submitted the NIL offer, I expected to hear back from, I don’t know, a backup linebacker or maybe a freshman wide receiver trying to build his brand. I didn’t expect you. Why’d you decide to come here?”
Cam’s frown faded, replaced by a small, knowing smile. He took a moment to think before he answered. “Honestly? It was the only offer that didn’t feel fake. I didn’t want to shill for some car dealership when I don’t even own one of their cars. Or tell people how great the food is at a restaurant I’d never set foot in. This? It sounded interesting. Different. Real.”
He paused, his gaze meeting hers. “And now? I’m glad I did. I actually enjoy being here. I like this place. I like spending time with you and Zoe.”
Kayla’s smile softened as her teeth caught her lower lip. She nodded, her voice barely above a whisper. “I’m really glad you decided to give it a whirl.”
The moment lingered between them, charged and unspoken. Then, from the back room, Zoe’s voice rang out: “Mommy!”
Kayla stood with a laugh, breaking the spell. “Duty calls,” she said, glancing at Cam one last time before heading toward her daughter.
Cam watched her go, a small smile tugging at his lips. Maybe being stuck in his head wasn’t so bad—so long as it brought him here.
A Nuisance In My Own Damn Mind
Cam wasn’t sure if showing up unannounced was the right move, but he’d spent most of the day restless in his apartment, pacing and feeling stuck in his own head. The lingering effects of the late hit that had taken him out of UTSA’s game against East Carolina weren’t as frustrating as the time it cost him. Sitting out of practice felt like torture. So here he was, standing at the door of Kayla’s jiu-jitsu studio, holding a bag of takeout in one hand and an uneasy feeling in his chest. He stepped inside, and the soft bell over the door announced his arrival.
Kayla glanced up from behind the counter and smiled—a reaction that immediately eased his nerves. “Cam,” she said, her voice light with surprise, “what are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be resting?”
“I figured I’d get out for a bit,” he replied, shifting the bag in his hand. “Thought maybe we could just hang out.”
Her smile widened. “I like that idea.”
The studio was quiet, most of the day’s students long gone. A few mats were still out, and Kayla had been halfway through tidying up. She nodded toward a bench by the wall. “Make yourself comfortable. I’ll finish up here.”
Cam set the bag down and settled onto the bench, the weight of his restlessness lifting slightly. “Brought some food, by the way,” he said, holding up the takeout bag.
“You’re already my favorite guest,” she teased, and he chuckled.
They sat together not long after, sharing the food. As they ate, Kayla glanced at him. “How are you doing? Really?”
Cam leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees and letting out a heavy sigh. He stared at the floor for a moment before answering, his voice low and tinged with frustration. “I don’t know, Kayla. I’ve never had to deal with this before. I’ve been hurt before, but this—this feels different. It’s not just the injury. It’s the fact that everything’s off. My routine, my focus—it’s all out of sync. Every day, I’m used to being out there with my guys, grinding, pushing through it together. Now I’m just… sitting at home, doing nothing. It’s killing me.”
She nodded, letting him vent without interrupting, her eyes fixed on him as he continued.
“I’m supposed to be helping them prepare for the next game. Breaking down film, running the plays, leading by example. That’s my job,” he said, his tone intensifying. “But instead, I’m sitting in my apartment staring at the same damn walls, replaying that hit over and over in my head. I feel like I’m letting them down just by not being there.”
Kayla tilted her head, her gaze softening further. “Cam, you’re not letting anyone down. You’re a competitor—I get that. Sitting out probably feels worse than the injury itself. But your team knows who you are and what you mean to them. Just because you’re not on the field this week doesn’t mean you’ve stopped being their leader.”
He shook his head, rubbing his hands over his face. “It’s not that easy. Football is everything to me. The schedule, the structure—it keeps me steady. Without it, I just feel... lost. Like I’m a nuisance in my own damn mind.”
The vulnerability in his voice caught Kayla off guard. She had always seen Cam as larger than life—confident, in control, untouchable even. Seeing this side of him, the weight he carried on his own shoulders, made her heart ache.
“Cam,” she said softly, “you’re allowed to feel this way. You’ve been operating at a hundred miles an hour for so long, it makes sense that slowing down feels wrong. But you’re not stuck forever. You’ll get back to your routine, back to your team. You just have to give yourself a little grace right now.”
Cam let her words sink in, his posture relaxing slightly as he met her eyes. “I guess,” he muttered, though the fight in him hadn’t completely faded. “I just hate feeling like I’m not doing enough. Sitting still? That’s not me.”
Kayla offered him a small smile. “Maybe right now, sitting still is exactly what you need to do. You don’t always have to be running the show, Cam. Sometimes, it’s okay to let yourself rest.”
Cam leaned back against the wall, letting out a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding. “I don’t know how to do that,” he admitted quietly.
She reached out, resting a hand on his arm for just a moment. “You’ll figure it out.”
For the first time all day, Cam felt a flicker of relief. It wasn’t much, but it was enough to keep him grounded, at least for a little while.
A little later, as Kayla finished up her end-of-day tasks, Cam found himself sitting with her daughter, Zoe. The eight-year-old had brought over her collection of Pokémon cards, and soon they were deeply engrossed in discussing the best combinations for battling.
“This one’s your favorite?” Cam asked, holding up a holographic card.
“Yeah!” Zoe exclaimed. “It’s super strong, and it’s shiny. Shiny means it’s lucky.”
“Lucky, huh?” Cam said, smiling. “Guess I’ll need one of these then.”
Kayla, folding towels by the counter, found herself watching the two of them. The way Cam leaned down to Zoe’s level, the genuine interest he showed in whatever she was saying—it warmed her heart in a way that caught her off guard. She smiled, letting herself soak in the moment, until Cam looked up and caught her staring.
Embarrassed, she quickly turned back to her work, her cheeks burning.
When Kayla finished tidying up, she sat back down across from Cam. He was leaning against the wall, his legs stretched out in front of him, looking more at ease than when he’d arrived. She studied him for a moment, her curiosity outweighing the hesitation to ask what was on her mind.
Cam noticed her watching him and raised an eyebrow. “What?” he asked.
She hesitated briefly, then asked, her tone soft but serious, “Why did you come here?”
He blinked, caught off guard. “Tonight? I told you—I just needed to get out. Should I leave?”
“No!” she said quickly, shaking her head, her hands raised as if to stop him. “I didn’t mean tonight. I meant here… as in UTSA. I’m sure you could’ve gone anywhere. Texas, Alabama, Georgia. Why not one of those? Why here?”
Her words hung in the air for a moment, and Cam looked at her, his expression thoughtful. He leaned back again, letting out a small chuckle. “You sound like my high school coach,” he said. “He couldn’t believe it either.”
Kayla shrugged, her lips curving into a faint smile. “I mean, can you blame me? It’s not every day that a guy like you ends up at a place like this. No offense to UTSA, but you could’ve had your pick.”
Cam nodded, his gaze drifting toward the floor. “You’re right. I did have offers from those schools. Texas. Georgia. Even Alabama came knocking.”
“So why didn’t you go?” she pressed, genuinely curious.
He paused for a moment, gathering his thoughts. “Honestly? A few reasons. The big programs are great, sure, but they’re pressure cookers in a different way. I wanted to play right away, not sit behind some five-star for two years waiting for my turn. UTSA gave me that opportunity. I felt comfortable with the coaching staff too—Coach Traylor, he was real with me from the start. No BS, no sales pitch. Just football and honesty. I liked that. Some of the other schools weren't as genuine.”
He glanced up at her and shrugged. “And being close to my mom mattered. We've only really had each other for a long time, and I didn’t want to be across the country when she might need me.”
Kayla nodded slowly, her expression softening as she listened. “That makes sense,” she said. “Family is everything.”
“Yeah,” he agreed, his voice quiet. “It just felt right. UTSA might not have the same clout as those big schools, but I knew I could make an impact here, maybe help put this place on the map.”
She smiled at that, the respect she already had for him growing even more. But she wasn’t done yet. After a moment, she asked, “Okay, so why here here?”
Cam furrowed his brow slightly. “What do you mean?”
She gestured around the studio. “This place. My studio. When I submitted the NIL offer, I expected to hear back from, I don’t know, a backup linebacker or maybe a freshman wide receiver trying to build his brand. I didn’t expect you. Why’d you decide to come here?”
Cam’s frown faded, replaced by a small, knowing smile. He took a moment to think before he answered. “Honestly? It was the only offer that didn’t feel fake. I didn’t want to shill for some car dealership when I don’t even own one of their cars. Or tell people how great the food is at a restaurant I’d never set foot in. This? It sounded interesting. Different. Real.”
He paused, his gaze meeting hers. “And now? I’m glad I did. I actually enjoy being here. I like this place. I like spending time with you and Zoe.”
Kayla’s smile softened as her teeth caught her lower lip. She nodded, her voice barely above a whisper. “I’m really glad you decided to give it a whirl.”
The moment lingered between them, charged and unspoken. Then, from the back room, Zoe’s voice rang out: “Mommy!”
Kayla stood with a laugh, breaking the spell. “Duty calls,” she said, glancing at Cam one last time before heading toward her daughter.
Cam watched her go, a small smile tugging at his lips. Maybe being stuck in his head wasn’t so bad—so long as it brought him here.
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