Re: Random TV/Movie Quotes...

[Burns11]

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Lord Grantham: "Well now, still in one piece, thank God"

Matthew: "Touch wood"

Lord Grantham: "I never stop touching it"

[Hassan Darkside]

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Was watching Season 1 of House the other day and thought this was kinda funny - "Some day there will be a black president. Some day there will be a gay president. Maybe there will even be a gay, black president. But one combination I do not see happening is gay, black, and dead."

[Watson]

Hello fellow American. This you should vote me. I leave power. Good. Thank you, thank you. If you vote me, I'm hot. What? Taxes, they'll be lower... son. The Democratic vote is the right thing to do Philadelphia, so do.

[youvalss]

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"That's not your mother. It's a man, baby!"

Spoiler

[Watson]

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My favorite conversation from the show

Spoiler

Team Irish 1: You don't know who you're messin' with, boyo. Do ya have any idea who our boss is?

Nope, but a hundred people surveyed, number one answer's on the board...Name the douchebag who's in charge!

Team Irish 1: Vincent... Van Go-****-yourself.

'Vincent Van Go-****-myself'. Survey says!
[Archer shoots Team Irish 1 in the knee]

Lana: JESUS! Archer!

What, Lana!? I said it was a rampage!

Lana: Still though!

Team Irish 1: Son of a whore!

Save it for the fast money round, paddy! [To Team Irish 2] Hundred people surveyed, number one answer's still on the board, name the douchebag who's in charge!
[Pause]
Eh-Eh! Need an answer!

[Team Irish 2 spits in Archer's face]

Hmm, ****-flavored spit. Well, you never know what's gonna be on the board. Lemme see '****-flavored spit'!
[Archer shoots Team Irish 2 in the kneecaps]
That's two strikes! One more and the innocent Honduran janitors get a chance to steal the bank! [To Team Hondurans] I'm just gonna assume you guys don't actually know what goes on here. I hope that doesn't sound racist.
[To Team Irish 3]
Okay, kid...

Lana: He is a kid, Archer!

LANA! You're in the isolation booth! [To Team Irish 3] Looking for the douchebag who's in charge!

Team Irish 1: Mikey Hannedy... if you say one word I'll cut your yellow heart right out!

Eh-Eh!
[Shoots Team Irish 1]

Team Irish 3: Oh, Christ!

Mikey, you gotta listen to me, buddy... I have breast cancer.

Team Irish 2: [laughing] Breast cancer!?

[Archer shoots Team Irish 2]

[~LiverpoolRed~]

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So, what do you guys do for fun around here?
Well, today we tried masturbating for money.

[ImTellinTim]

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Uhhhh...Tippy toe! Tippy toe! Lemon tree!

[Fresh Tendrils]

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HOOCHIE MAMA!

[AussieChiefsFan]

When I'm sad I stop being sad and start being awesome. -barney stinsen

Sent from my HTC Incredible S using Tapatalk

[Buckeyes_Doc]

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“The less I know about other people’s affairs, the happier I am. I’m not interested in caring about people. I once worked with a guy for three years and never learned his name. Best friend I ever had. We still never talk sometimes.”

[AussieChiefsFan]

All my friends are getting married or pregnant. I'm just getting more awesome.

Sent from my HTC Incredible S using Tapatalk

[Blzer]

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I heard a joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he’s depressed. Says life is harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. The great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor… I am Pagliacci." Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.

[Watson]

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I heard a joke once: Man goes to doctor. Says he’s depressed. Says life is harsh and cruel. Says he feels all alone in a threatening world. Doctor says, "Treatment is simple. The great clown Pagliacci is in town tonight. Go see him. That should pick you up." Man bursts into tears. Says, "But doctor… I am Pagliacci." Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.

None of you seem to understand. I'm not locked in here with you. You're locked in here with ME!

[nyj721]

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Either this chicks a dude, or Halpert got scared straight!

[ImTellinTim]

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I had a mother lined up for him, but she's bangin' the Pepperidge Farm guy, and the kid won't stop peeing and throwing up. He's like a cocker spaniel.