I'll let someone else handle the mic question, but...
Dumb question - are you in jet or hover mode? Once you get in a Warhawk, you have to press triangle to switch from hover to jet. After that, the holding the R2 will speed you up, and double tapping (and holding after the second tap) will trigger the afterburners (blue flame), which is probably what you see other people using.
Hope that helps. And yeah, I do some of the flashy air show stuff too - my favorite is flying completely upside down (using pro flight)
. Problem is, sometimes I'll fly straight into a wall while doing that crap, but fortunately it takes about 3 good whacks to kill yourself from full health.

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