The Ladder Theory revisited

[TarHeelMan]

Re: The Ladder Theory revisited

I think it was posted when we had that Lindsay Lohan thread... It made for fantastic reading... And hilarious, too...

I'm amazed that I was put into weird situations like this even after I got married... The firm that I worked with in NY, we had a gang of hot women on my floor, all secretaries. There was one chick, who was 40+, but had a body that would not quit... She would always come by my cubicle to shoot the breeze, telling me about her boyfriends and what not... Every now and then, she would ask a brotha out to lunch, and I'd go on, knowing that I wasn't trying to make no moves... Every now and then she'd just wanna chill outside and chat. No problem. But then she'd get nervous and stupid, scared that other people would start rumors about us... When she'd get like this, she'd just stop coming by, stop talking. I would never go up to her and ask what was up, basically because I didn't care... But now, there was this other chick, a good friend of mine, who was actually friendly with my wife (she had gotten a couple of messages for me). So while the first chick (Debra) was on her stupidity, the next one (Shirley) would come by, ask a brotha to come with her to the cafeteria for breakfast, hang out, what not...

What was really funny was that Debra would see me in the caf, and assume I was gonna wait for her. I would bounce back to my cube, and sure enough, she comes up and asks why I didn't wait for her... WTF?!? I ain't your man. And while my wife was pregnant with our second son, Shirley was the one who kept contact while I was out, asking how everything was going... The funny part, though, was when I got back. Shirley had sent some gifts to the house for the baby, and for my older son, so he wouldn't feel left out. So when I got back to the office, she asked if I had gotten them. At this point, Debra is walking by, clueless as to why I had been out. So I told her my wife had had the baby, and at the same time, I answered Shirley by telling her that we had gotten the gifts, and my wife had sent a thank-you card... Tell me why afterwards, Debra comes by and asks, "Since when is she cool with you that she can call your house and send gifts?!?" I was so taken aback, I couldn't answer... I was just like, "How can I be in her mind like that, without even being her man?" She came at me like she had a legitimate beef about being out of the loop.

[Lintyfresh85]

Re: The Ladder Theory revisited

eh, I'm just staying away from girls... at least girls I'm trying to get with. Broke up with my ex about 2 months ago and since then have been girl/stress free. A good thing about taking a break from chasing girls is at least I don't have to deal with the friend zone crap. If you want a girl, you gotta go at her. I learned a lot after reading the ladder theory in the Lohan thread a few years ago, and I either go at a girl and get her to go on a date or I get turned down... simple as that. No more wondering if she wants me or not. The whole thing really changed my approach to the dating game.

[TarHeelMan]

Re: The Ladder Theory revisited

Yeah, I had to learn the hard way... My freshman year of HS, I had this hot little Asian chick in my homeroom, who was my virtual shadow.... We were everywhere together, and my dumb black behind figured if I took my time and played my cards right, I'd be able to get down with her. It didn't help matters when she would play the role like she was my girl to other people in school. In fact, at one point where I had gotten tired of not knowing what was up, I decided to spit some of my refined game at some new chicks. Two of 'em asked me why I was dogging shortie out... I was like, "That ain't my girl, we're just friends..." Turned out they had heard from other people that she was SAYING me and her were together... And now, not only am I not getting down with her, but she's effectively ruining my chances of scoring options around school... My freshman year was shot to Hades because of that. We'd spend all sorts of time on the phone, and I took it too slow.

Sophomore year, changed all that. I purposely distanced myself, and made a concerted effort to not get "caught up" with these chicks. From now on, I was gonna be the one to dictate the tempo. I tried not to be a jerk, but I wasn't gonna be that cat who spent all his time in the on-deck circle, either... I was straightforward about what I wanted, and I found females for the most part, liked that approach...

I think once, since then, I've been a type of cuddle-bitch... But I only say "type of", because I was truly friends with the chick, and wasn't looking for anything more. She actually would put me on with her homegirls and workmates... At one point, she had a man, but she would talk to me about him... One time, after she had left Brooklyn and moved to East Harlem, she was talking about how we didn't hang out anymore... So I told her that it was to be expected, since she had a man now... She was like, still, that's no reason... So she said she was gonna tell her man that she wanted to cancel their plans for this one Saturday so she could hang with me and our other homeboy... And he was gonna give her the money for our activities... I was like, "Yeah, I'd like to see this happen..." So me and my man get a call on Friday that we were gonna hang out with old girl on dude's money the next day. We go uptown, and she says that he gave her $150 to hang out with us... Now this wasn't some trust fund baby, this fool was another cat who was struggling, like us, trying to make a dollar out of fifteen cents. And he WILLINGLY gave up the cheddar so his girl could go hang out with two other dudes. Me and my man were amazed. We were like, "OK, I gotta ask... Did you give him some poon or something?" She said no, I just looked deep in his eyes and asked him... I was flabbergasted. But as I told my man on the train ride back home, she wouldn't be with him long... She didn't respect him enough, and she'd get bored. Sure enough, a few months later, she gave him the boot.

[P2K]

Re: The Ladder Theory revisited

Yeah, I had to learn the hard way... My freshman year of HS, I had this hot little Asian chick in my homeroom, who was my virtual shadow.... We were everywhere together, and my dumb black behind figured if I took my time and played my cards right, I'd be able to get down with her. It didn't help matters when she would play the role like she was my girl to other people in school. In fact, at one point where I had gotten tired of not knowing what was up, I decided to spit some of my refined game at some new chicks. Two of 'em asked me why I was dogging shortie out... I was like, "That ain't my girl, we're just friends..." Turned out they had heard from other people that she was SAYING me and her were together... And now, not only am I not getting down with her, but she's effectively ruining my chances of scoring options around school... My freshman year was shot to Hades because of that. We'd spend all sorts of time on the phone, and I took it too slow.

So not only did you not make a playmaker move on this chick that was on your butt at all times, but you fumbled the goodies as well?!?!

The shammmeeeeeee lol j/k

She sounded like a crazy bitch, too. I loves me a crazy bitch. Yeah, tell the whole school we're together. Show me how crazy you are. P2K loves the intrigue

[GBrushTWood]

Re: The Ladder Theory revisited

What was really funny was that Debra would see me in the caf, and assume I was gonna wait for her. I would bounce back to my cube, and sure enough, she comes up and asks why I didn't wait for her... WTF?!? I ain't your man.

Hah damn man, woman are crazy. Maybe it's because they've been oppressed for millions of years that they act so nutty.

[Herbsinator]

Re: The Ladder Theory revisited

Yeah, I had to learn the hard way... My freshman year of HS, I had this hot little Asian chick in my homeroom, who was my virtual shadow.... We were everywhere together, and my dumb black behind figured if I took my time and played my cards right, I'd be able to get down with her. It didn't help matters when she would play the role like she was my girl to other people in school. In fact, at one point where I had gotten tired of not knowing what was up, I decided to spit some of my refined game at some new chicks. Two of 'em asked me why I was dogging shortie out... I was like, "That ain't my girl, we're just friends..." Turned out they had heard from other people that she was SAYING me and her were together... And now, not only am I not getting down with her, but she's effectively ruining my chances of scoring options around school... My freshman year was shot to Hades because of that. We'd spend all sorts of time on the phone, and I took it too slow.

Sophomore year, changed all that. I purposely distanced myself, and made a concerted effort to not get "caught up" with these chicks. From now on, I was gonna be the one to dictate the tempo. I tried not to be a jerk, but I wasn't gonna be that cat who spent all his time in the on-deck circle, either... I was straightforward about what I wanted, and I found females for the most part, liked that approach...

I think once, since then, I've been a type of cuddle-bitch... But I only say "type of", because I was truly friends with the chick, and wasn't looking for anything more. She actually would put me on with her homegirls and workmates... At one point, she had a man, but she would talk to me about him... One time, after she had left Brooklyn and moved to East Harlem, she was talking about how we didn't hang out anymore... So I told her that it was to be expected, since she had a man now... She was like, still, that's no reason... So she said she was gonna tell her man that she wanted to cancel their plans for this one Saturday so she could hang with me and our other homeboy... And he was gonna give her the money for our activities... I was like, "Yeah, I'd like to see this happen..." So me and my man get a call on Friday that we were gonna hang out with old girl on dude's money the next day. We go uptown, and she says that he gave her $150 to hang out with us... Now this wasn't some trust fund baby, this fool was another cat who was struggling, like us, trying to make a dollar out of fifteen cents. And he WILLINGLY gave up the cheddar so his girl could go hang out with two other dudes. Me and my man were amazed. We were like, "OK, I gotta ask... Did you give him some poon or something?" She said no, I just looked deep in his eyes and asked him... I was flabbergasted. But as I told my man on the train ride back home, she wouldn't be with him long... She didn't respect him enough, and she'd get bored. Sure enough, a few months later, she gave him the boot.

Damn Tarheel, you crack me up.

I wish I could go to the Tarheel school of pimpology.

[McLite]

Re: The Ladder Theory revisited

I love it...this is some great stuff. I used to tell my ex that guys and girls can't be friends...someone always something else. Needless to say one of her best friends is a guy. She'd say "he's slept in the same bed as me...he's seen my naked...but we have never kissed and never slept together. We grew up from grade school on." Ya okay...funny how he talked crap about me to her mom back home.

I love the cuddle-bitch...I was there freshman year of college. We always try hardest for the ones we can't get.

Relationships are crazy though. After my girl moved out a week and a half ago she wrote me this email about how it's the biggest mistake of her life, how she misses me and I'm her best friend. She's called me a couple times since then but I've just kinda blown her off. It kills me but I can't just get re caught up in that. She has no idea what she wants or who she wants to be in life...and when you don't know yourself there is no way you can give yourself to another person.

[TarHeelMan]

Re: The Ladder Theory revisited

So not only did you not make a playmaker move on this chick that was on your butt at all times, but you fumbled the goodies as well?!?!

The shammmeeeeeee lol j/k

LOL. In my defense, I was never sure what was up... I was getting all this feedback that she was telling them she was my girl, but when me and her would kick it, she would front either like she was playing, or someone mistook what she was saying... When all along, I shoulda just laid it out on the table and told her, "OK, what's good?" Unfortunately, it took my dumb butt a year to learn that valuable lesson... But I liken it to the Chicago Bulls of the late 80s and early 90s... They had to LEARN how to overcome the Detroit Pistons... And once they learned that lesson, it was ON... Same for me... I like to think that once I learned that valuable lesson, I became a veritable pimping juggernaut.