Dealing with a ****** 'past'...?

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  • Court_vision
    Banned
    • Oct 2002
    • 8290

    #16
    Re: Dealing with a ****** 'past'...?

    Originally posted by aholbert32
    Yeah "fingercuffs" is hard to forget. I always lived by the Chris Rock rule...if you ask a girl the number of people she slept with she will only mention the boyfriends..she wont mention the guy she ****ed in Cancun or the night she slept with Bobby Brown etc.

    I just assume they are lying about the number anyway so why should I get worked up about it.

    I've got to know my brothers girl pretty well...she really has had only two guys...I know her through friends and they all back it up.

    My bro just cannot get the "age" of one out of hs head...

    That's hardly fingercuffs stuff...LOL...he needs to get over this.

    Comment

    • mjb2124
      Hall Of Fame
      • Aug 2002
      • 13649

      #17
      Re: Dealing with a ****** 'past'...?

      Maybe it's just the way I am, but that's the last thing I'd worry about. Who cares about the age of the last guy she dated was? If she's as great in every other aspect as you say she is, your brother is going to miss out if he lets that bother him.

      Different strokes for different folks of course, but there are so many worse things a girl could tell a guy about her past IMO.

      Comment

      • Herbsinator
        All Star
        • Sep 2003
        • 4573

        #18
        Re: Dealing with a ****** 'past'...?

        Originally posted by Court_vision
        but then she casually mentions she's blown 43 guys or something.
        In a row?

        Comment

        • RoyalBoyle78
          Aka."Footballforever"
          • May 2003
          • 23918

          #19
          Re: Dealing with a ****** 'past'...?

          Originally posted by Court_vision
          My brother spilt up with his girlfriend of 8 years...they spilt about 2 years back...

          Me and my wife had been worried about him...he hadn't moved on.

          Then he met this GREAT girl...she's really, really nice.

          Very kind, pretty, lovely heart. Just a really nice person.

          Anyway, she told him she'd had two boyfriends before.

          Absolutely true...one was for three years and they broke off an engagement.

          The other was for one year.

          Now...my brother has just found out the second relationship was with a guy about 20 years older than her. She's 25, the guy was about 43.

          My brother is 33...he feels like he's "old" for her...

          Now that he's found out she was with a guy aged 43...it's killing him. He wants to call it off. Can't get it out of his head she was with a guy old enough to be her dad.

          Me...I am doing all I can to tell him to NOT lose this girl. She's absolutely brilliant and I don't want him to blow this.

          The guy was older, yes. Is that a big deal???

          Her father died when she was 12 and she told me she loved the older guy as he cared for her / loved her in a mature way. I.e. it wasn't all about passion...he talked to her about her life etc, made her feel nice.

          Personally, I'd prefer that background than some 25 year old who'd slept around.

          Two guys isn't much...just that one was old.

          My brother CANNOT let that go.

          What do you fellas think?
          I have a lot of experince with dating Women and had hard times bad times and so on and so forth...So I will give you advice tio give to your brother..

          First off, tell him not to throw away this if the girl is great and she really cares for him, second of all the girl doesn't need to tell your brother anything about her past what so ever, she was honest enough that she told him her past anyway, because she could have told him nothing, your brother needs not to worry about her past, thats her past and not his and he shoudl worry about there present and there future, beacsue if he dwells on each womens past that he dates, I'm sorry to say your brother will end up a very lonley you man. Take the movie "Clerks" for example, if the girls went down on 36 guys, then I see his issue, but she dated an older guy and there's nothing wrong with that at all. Maybe these are the reasons why she likes older guys so she doesn't have to deal with these issues. Just tell you brother to wake up and don't lose the girl if she's good to him and is a sweet girl, tell him her past is her and thats why it's called the past and to just move on..
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          Comment

          • eXperiment63
            MVP
            • Mar 2004
            • 3077

            #20
            Re: Dealing with a ****** 'past'...?

            People get too caught up on the past... Everyone takes a different path to thir current being. Hell, women that were the biggest whores in HS and college can be the greatest and most faithful wives and mothers, because they realize how empty they were even though it was fun.

            Everyone has a dirty past in one area or another. Would you rather your woman be a virgin, but has had multiple run-ins with the law? Or would you rather her be a former whore who has been clean with the law and drugs her entire life?

            I know I've done some shady **** in my past, I know I've made my rounds with the women. Who am I to judge what a woman has done in her past? People change, it's human nature... Deal with it.

            ^That wasn't directed at anyone in particular, just my thoughts on the subject at hand.

            Comment

            • MassNole
              Banned
              • Mar 2006
              • 18848

              #21
              Re: Dealing with a ****** 'past'...?

              Your brother seems to have some issues, the key will not be letting those issues destroy the relationship.

              Comment

              • Money99
                Hall Of Fame
                • Sep 2002
                • 12696

                #22
                Re: Dealing with a ****** 'past'...?

                Not to get all "Frasier" on you, but I have a feeling your brother is destroying this relationship on purpose.
                He's still getting over his former girlfriend and he's probably afraid to commit because he'll be hurt again. So he takes something rediculous and uses it as a reason to breakup and not risk getting trampled on again.

                If anything, he should be glad she was with an older guy and not some young stud (like me) that he has to compete against. As long as she doesn't get worked up watching Matlock he has nothing to get freaked out about.

                Comment

                • Scottdau
                  Banned
                  • Feb 2003
                  • 32580

                  #23
                  Re: Dealing with a ****** 'past'...?

                  Originally posted by Court_vision
                  I am telling him just to forget it and move on with her.

                  I don't want to see him miss out on a great girl through his warped mind.

                  Yeah, she had a much older lover. But some girls do that.

                  My brother just mailed me and said "this is f$#%^ed up mate...i used to watch Chasing Amy and sit there saying "the ben afflect charachter needs to get over it and love this woman! Now, here I am caught up with this vision of her making love to grandpa!"

                  See what I mean...now he's got a 45 year old down as "grandpa"...

                  He needs to forget it...

                  I will ask you one thing? How would you feel about it if it was your girlfriend and not your brother's?

                  Comment

                  • Heelfan71
                    Hall Of Fame
                    • Jul 2002
                    • 19940

                    #24
                    Re: Dealing with a ****** 'past'...?

                    What happened in her past is nothing you can hold against her. Unless it is something really bad like she slept with the entire Detroit Pistons team at one time. One thing I learned when I was dating is not to even ask about certain things like how many people they have been with etc. You are only setting your self up to be pissed.

                    I don't see what the big deal about the older guy is. I would rather it be an older man than some young stud. He was probably her sugar daddy. Or maybe he had a crank that hung past his knees.
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                    Comment

                    • DaveDQ
                      13
                      • Sep 2003
                      • 7664

                      #25
                      Re: Dealing with a ****** 'past'...?

                      Originally posted by jake44np
                      Everyone has a past, you can find something you dont like about every women if you dig deep enough.
                      I agree...if she understands why she did this, and while it's not really wrong, give her a break.

                      Just don't rush anything..give it time.
                      Being kind, one to another, never disappoints.

                      Comment

                      • Dallasin2K3
                        MVP
                        • Jul 2002
                        • 3135

                        #26
                        Re: Dealing with a ****** 'past'...?

                        I don't think this issue is about your brother dealing with a woman's past. It's about your brother needing to learn how to deal with himself.
                        Originally Posted by Briman123

                        I'd rather drink beer because drinking alot of beers makes you more manly.

                        Comment

                        • skitch
                          Fear Ameer
                          • Oct 2002
                          • 12349

                          #27
                          Re: Dealing with a ****** 'past'...?

                          What's the big deal? Sure, she dated an older dude. I'd rather be in that situation than getting into a relationship with a chick that slept around with 400 guys.

                          Comment

                          • Blaxican8504
                            All Star
                            • Jul 2002
                            • 4150

                            #28
                            Re: Dealing with a ****** 'past'...?

                            He needs to get over it.

                            Comment

                            • Court_vision
                              Banned
                              • Oct 2002
                              • 8290

                              #29
                              Re: Dealing with a ****** 'past'...?

                              Originally posted by FootballForever
                              I have a lot of experince with dating Women and had hard times bad times and so on and so forth...So I will give you advice tio give to your brother..

                              First off, tell him not to throw away this if the girl is great and she really cares for him, second of all the girl doesn't need to tell your brother anything about her past what so ever, she was honest enough that she told him her past anyway, because she could have told him nothing, your brother needs not to worry about her past, thats her past and not his and he shoudl worry about there present and there future, beacsue if he dwells on each womens past that he dates, I'm sorry to say your brother will end up a very lonley you man. Take the movie "Clerks" for example, if the girls went down on 36 guys, then I see his issue, but she dated an older guy and there's nothing wrong with that at all. Maybe these are the reasons why she likes older guys so she doesn't have to deal with these issues. Just tell you brother to wake up and don't lose the girl if she's good to him and is a sweet girl, tell him her past is her and thats why it's called the past and to just move on..

                              Copied, pasted and emailed your message to my bro. Nice advice mate

                              Comment

                              • Court_vision
                                Banned
                                • Oct 2002
                                • 8290

                                #30
                                Re: Dealing with a ****** 'past'...?

                                Summarising the posts above...all excellent and appreciated...

                                Yeah, I do think he has issuses himself. He was very much in love with his ex and she took off. He may be looking for excuses.

                                I know he loves this girl and she really is cool...he may not meet a girl this nice again who genuinely loves him.

                                Me and brother are in different countries at the moment. So, we've been communicating via text, phones and e-mail.

                                If I was next to him, I think I'd put my hand around his throat and say "wake the f...up and don't ruin this".

                                It's funny how people have different thoughts. I am with the guys above...her having been with an older guy (they used to "do it" rarely apparently...like once a week)...i'd prefer that to her having been pounded by some young stud 4 times a day...

                                My bro though...he's the opposite. He's like "how can she have taken grandpa down the tunnel of love...he's old enough to be her father".

                                It's bugging him big time. Hopefully he gets over it soon.

                                In a way, I hope he meets the older guy or sees a photo...plenty of 45 year old guys are young, look good with a younger partner. 45 is not even that old.

                                In my bros warped mind though...he's seeing it differently. He's just seeing "old enough to be her dad...how could she do it".

                                Comment

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