Dealing with a ****** 'past'...?

**Court_vision** · 04-13-2007, 11:07 AM

Re: Dealing with a ****** 'past'...?

Adding: just spoke to my bro. He said his girlfriend was 23 at the time...the guy was 45.

22 years difference. It's eating away inside him like you would not believe.

**JohnnytheSkin** · 04-13-2007, 11:11 AM

Re: Dealing with a ****** 'past'...?

It's safer just to break it off. The same goes for guys that can't get over the "number" of previous boyfriends as well. If you let something like that bother you, it will ALWAYS bother you (or something will spur it, you'll bring it up in a fight, whatever).

Just walk away.

**Court_vision** · 04-13-2007, 11:18 AM

Re: Dealing with a ****** 'past'...?

I am telling him just to forget it and move on with her.

I don't want to see him miss out on a great girl through his warped mind.

Yeah, she had a much older lover. But some girls do that.

My brother just mailed me and said "this is f$#%^ed up mate...i used to watch Chasing Amy and sit there saying "the ben afflect charachter needs to get over it and love this woman! Now, here I am caught up with this vision of her making love to grandpa!"

See what I mean...now he's got a 45 year old down as "grandpa"...

He needs to forget it...

**Brandwin** · 04-13-2007, 11:26 AM

Re: Dealing with a ****** 'past'...?

I'd rather not know stuff like that, because it would probably bother me. Not dating the older guy, but how many sexual partners, or how you used to be in HS etc. To me, your past is your past, if you're trying to better yourself and you learned from your mistakes, then that's all I need to know.

I don't like cheaters though...

**Court_vision** · 04-13-2007, 11:29 AM

Re: Dealing with a ****** 'past'...?

Originally posted by DookieMowf

I'd rather not know stuff like that, because it would probably bother me. Not dating the older guy, but how many sexual partners, or how you used to be in HS etc. To me, your past is your past, if you're trying to better yourself and you learned from your mistakes, then that's all I need to know.

I don't like cheaters though...

Yeah, some things are best not discussed.

He's slept with a LOT of women (hey, he's my bo

)...some really dodgy stuff.

I can't believe he's letting the fact she was in a relationship with an older guy bother him.

If he blows this one, I'm going to string him up...

**jake44np** · 04-13-2007, 11:30 AM

Re: Dealing with a ****** 'past'...?

Everyone has a past, you can find something you dont like about every women if you dig deep enough.

**Court_vision** · 04-13-2007, 11:31 AM

Re: Dealing with a ****** 'past'...?

Anyone remember that scene in CLERKS?

Where he knows his GF has slept with 5 guys and he has handled it...but then she casually mentions she's blown 43 guys or something.

Now THAT would bother me...

But surely my bro's girl being with two guys...yeah, one was older...doesn't seem that bad.

Great girl...me and the wife are hoping she's family one day!

**McLite** · 04-13-2007, 11:35 AM

Re: Dealing with a ****** 'past'...?

I used to have issues with my girlfriends and their past...but as I grew up and developed my own past who am I to judge?

I kinda just go with the theory now that it makes them who they are...and where they are...and that is with you.

If he can't get over it then he really needs to let her go. Trust me you don't want issues coming up during fights and such...especially things that she did before you.

I can think of a ton worse though than a girl dating a guy 22 years older than her. It's not like it's Chasing Amy material.

**TarHeelMan** · 04-13-2007, 11:37 AM

Re: Dealing with a ****** 'past'...?

I'm reminded of a line which I read in Malcolm X' autobiography; I had always kind of managed my relationships with the same credo or attitude (this was in HS when I read it), but it was very interesting to see it there in print, being offered as advice. He said something to the effect of, "Never ask a woman about her past sexual history... Either she'll tell you a lie, and you still won't know, or she'll tell you the truth, and you may not have wanted to hear it in the first place."

**Court_vision** · 04-13-2007, 11:37 AM

Re: Dealing with a ****** 'past'...?

Originally posted by jake44np

Everyone has a past, you can find something you dont like about every women if you dig deep enough.

Very true. My mrs was actually a virgin when we married. I'd had a lot of partners and two very serious relationships. (One 7 years).

My Mrs is very religious (Buddhist)...

However, the first year or two were not "that great" in terms of intimacy...she really had no idea what to do apart from the obvious.

I'd come off some seriously good physical relationships...so it was a bit of an adjustment. So...even marrying the virgin with "no past" isn't perfect.

Things are cool now...but there really is no "perfect past" IMO.

**Court_vision** · 04-13-2007, 11:40 AM

Re: Dealing with a ****** 'past'...?

Originally posted by MattG

I can think of a ton worse though than a girl dating a guy 22 years older than her. It's not like it's Chasing Amy material.

LOL

I've watched that movie a few times...and always thought, "great relationship...soul mates...could i forget a past like that?"

I still don't know...the chick in chasing amy had a hell of past...

**ezekiel55** · 04-13-2007, 11:43 AM

Re: Dealing with a ****** 'past'...?

I think he should suck it up and drop it. If she's such a great girl he has to realize that those kind of women dont come around everyday.

If any of my girls even knew half of what I've done in my past, I think it would scare em off. That's why I either lie or avoid conversations like that, and I don't ask as well.

**aholbert32** · 04-13-2007, 11:46 AM

Re: Dealing with a ****** 'past'...?

Originally posted by Court_vision

LOL

I've watched that movie a few times...and always thought, "great relationship...soul mates...could i forget a past like that?"

I still don't know...the chick in chasing amy had a hell of past...

Yeah "fingercuffs" is hard to forget. I always lived by the Chris Rock rule...if you ask a girl the number of people she slept with she will only mention the boyfriends..she wont mention the guy she ****ed in Cancun or the night she slept with Bobby Brown etc.

I just assume they are lying about the number anyway so why should I get worked up about it.

**Court_vision** · 04-13-2007, 11:48 AM

Re: Dealing with a ****** 'past'...?

Originally posted by zekey55

I think he should suck it up and drop it. If she's such a great girl he has to realize that those kind of women dont come around everyday.

If any of my girls even knew half of what I've done in my past, I think it would scare em off. That's why I either lie or avoid conversations like that, and I don't ask as well.

Women don't seem to worry though. I've told partners about some crazy nights and crazy women...and they've never let it bother them.

Yet a woman tells you she slept with some guy...fellas just can't handle it.

I guess I am guilty also. I dated a brilliant girl about ten years back. We got on great. One day, we were having breakfast and a coffee...great day...ultra relaxed...

We got onto past etc...and she mentioned how her long term ex cheated on her one night.

I was like "that's terrible. what did you do to him? hit him? *laughter*"

She said "I went and slept with some guy i met...same as him...wanted him to feel what it was like to be cheated on. I regretted it and I hated sleeping with a stranger, but i wanted him to feel my pain"

Now...the ONLY part of what she said that replayed in my mind about 1000 times for the next month was "i went and slept with a stranger"...

It KILLED my mind...ended up breaking it off with her, never telling her that it bothered me...

Dealing with a ****** 'past'...?

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