Best Friend Problems

[ex carrabba fan]

Edit: It doesn't seem right to put people out there on the internet. It's been interesting reading through this thread though.

[Cebby]

Re: Best Friend Problems

If you just want to end it, it's not that hard. I've lost most of my best friends within 1 day of being best friends.

In high school, I got into a drunk fight with my best friend and we didn't talk for 4 months, and then never again after that.

My main man in Auburn stabbed me in the back. Not literally, but he did rob me at gun point after an argument over a few grand. He's now doing 15 from what I hear.

Back to Maryland, of my two best friends that I partied with, one did stab the other in the back. Literally. With a knife. Well, he stabbed the brother of my friend. I ended up standing by the stabber, and have yet to talk to the stabee or any of his friends in the last year and some.

Overall, all of those relationships had to end. Just like yours. Especially if you don't like the dude.

[Chaos81]

Re: Best Friend Problems

Anyway I just wanted to put this out there and hear if others have experienced this.

I'd think most of us have probably experienced it at one time or another.

[stewaat]

Re: Best Friend Problems

Treat it just like you're having gf problems...

Keep the mediocre gf at hand
Search for new one
Cut ties when new one is found

[Aggies7]

Re: Best Friend Problems

I'd think most of us have probably experienced it at one time or another.

Agreed at some point everyone will/has experienced this.

Treat it just like you're having gf problems...

Keep the mediocre gf at hand
Search for new one
Cut ties when new one is found

Works with girlfriends, dont know how effective it is with friends though. However still good advise.

[ex carrabba fan]

Re: Best Friend Problems

I'd think most of us have probably experienced it at one time or another.

Yeah I figured, I just wanna hear how you guys dealt with it.

Soulja/Cebby, it's easier said than done. We've been best friends for 7.5 years, starting in high school. His family is very close to me, as is my family to him. It's a tough thing. And all of that potential violence with your post sounds pretty scary

[Chaos81]

Re: Best Friend Problems

Yeah I figured, I just wanna hear how you guys dealt with it.

I stopped talking to her, and while I attempted to still talk to other friends, that didn't work out either, and I don't talk to any of them anymore. Haven't seen, or heard a single thing about them in over a year now. That's probably a bit extreme for your case, but you asked how we dealt with it.


How close are you to your other friends, and how close are they to your "best" friend? Depending on those answers, it would change what I would want to do/would try to do. I know you said you didn't want advice, but I'm just trying to get a better "feel" for the situation.

[Coach Bryant]

Re: Best Friend Problems

If you just want to end it, it's not that hard. I've lost most of my best friends within 1 day of being best friends.

In high school, I got into a drunk fight with my best friend and we didn't talk for 4 months, and then never again after that.

My main man in Auburn stabbed me in the back. Not literally, but he did rob me at gun point after an argument over a few grand. He's now doing 15 from what I hear.

Back to Maryland, of my two best friends that I partied with, one did stab the other in the back. Literally. With a knife. Well, he stabbed the brother of my friend. I ended up standing by the stabber, and have yet to talk to the stabee or any of his friends in the last year and some.

Overall, all of those relationships had to end. Just like yours. Especially if you don't like the dude.

With friends like that who needs enemies?

[Aggies7]

Re: Best Friend Problems

Maybe try to slowing phase the person out. Dont make it obvious, and maybe if your not "best friends" you wont be so sick of him.

[CaptainZombie]

Re: Best Friend Problems

You guys ever experience a slow, yet steady dislike for your best friend?

Over the past year or so, little things that mine has done has just really gotten to me. Whether it's copying how I dress [which is quite unique I might add ], adopting my little idiosychrisies [sp], *trying* to jock my musical taste.. or it could be the short fuse, and short temper with anyone [not me], his "simpleton" mindset.. all of these things and more have led me to the way I feel about him today.

It's a very very delicate and intricate situation. It sucks because I still love the guy, I just think our "best friend" status spawned out of the high school hiearchy i.e. popularity/girls etc. We were perfect for each other, and we benefited greatly from being "best friends". It's hard to explain, but with us being "best friends" it really elevated our "status" in high school, even after graduating. Put it this way, if I were to meet him today as a stranger, I really doubt we'd be friends.

Well 3 years or so later, we still have the same friends, know the same general people etc. It'd be pretty weird for us to simply not be "best friends" any more. Like if I stopped hanging out with him even a little, it would be very noticeable. It's not like we see each other every day, or even talk on the phone every day, but you guys know how it is if someone were to suddenly slowly stop seeing you or calling you etc.

Anyway I just wanted to put this out there and hear if others have experienced this. I don't really need any advice or anything.

That sucks to go through this man, I went through something somewhat similar a few years back. My ex-best friend just got to be so damn annoying that we ended up having a bad falling out. Now its been almost 2.5 years since we stopped talking and about 3 weeks ago I tried to start talking with the him again, hoping to rebuild a friendship.

We were best of friends for years since our college days. We have chatted over email and every time he tells me that he will call me, over email, no dice. Even though he has been friendly in the emails, he has no real intentions to start up a friendship.

My point, is that if you want to still remain friends........don't do anything to jeopardize this whole friendship.

[NC State-31 UNC-27]

Re: Best Friend Problems

Yep, think everyone goes through this.

I'm three years out of high school and my entire group of friends completely got rid of my best friend. Probably lucky for me that everyone else gave up on him, too. It was tough because I never came out and said it to him, just slowly stopped returning calls and agreeing to do stuff with him. Took a couple years, even with being at different schools to finally basically have it ended.

But even my best friend now, one of my roommates, has started to annoy me to no end. I think once you spend enough time around someone you just recognize all of their faults and things that bother you about them. I guess all you can really do is try to stick to activities and plans where you are in situations that you like them best in. So like if he has a hot temper with people, try to stay away from stuff that might cause him to go off. Then if you still feel the need, start slowly phasing them out.

[N51_rob]

Re: Best Friend Problems

I've had the same best friend for 10 years. Made many more close friends but he is my man. To say that it's been easy would be a lie. We've never had problems like the ones that you describe but we've had our issues. The worst was when we shared a townhouse for 2 years. It got old real quick. We never came to blows because of the love and respect that we have for each other. We've been like brothers since our JR year of high school. So I think that you are going through that whole thing that happens when you guys are changing and the things that you like and enjoy are changing.

If you are as good of friends as you describe, just talk to him about the things that are bothering you, he may have something to say about you that you may not know or have noticed. Friends can talk to each other openly like no one else really can. Most guys can take some criticism unlike women, which is why they always change friends every three months.

Bottom line just talk to your man. Worst thing that happens is you guys go your separate ways.

[McLite]

Re: Best Friend Problems

If you just want to end it, it's not that hard. I've lost most of my best friends within 1 day of being best friends.

In high school, I got into a drunk fight with my best friend and we didn't talk for 4 months, and then never again after that.

My main man in Auburn stabbed me in the back. Not literally, but he did rob me at gun point after an argument over a few grand. He's now doing 15 from what I hear.

Back to Maryland, of my two best friends that I partied with, one did stab the other in the back. Literally. With a knife. Well, he stabbed the brother of my friend. I ended up standing by the stabber, and have yet to talk to the stabee or any of his friends in the last year and some.

Overall, all of those relationships had to end. Just like yours. Especially if you don't like the dude.

You gotta quit hanging out with Paul Pierce and Ray Lewis!

[slickdtc]

Re: Best Friend Problems

Funny, I've been dealing with something similar to this for a while now.

Me and my best friend have been close since 7th grade when it was just me and him and another friend going to a middle school while all our friends from before then went to a different middle school. However, high school those friends went to the same high school as we did.

But over the past year, he's definitely changed. Always trying to be the coolest one in the room and stuff like that. I've slowly tried to distance myself. It also helps that I've grown closer with other friends. But a problem is that he doesn't want to recognize his new faults (despite a couple of fights between him and some of my other friends) and because of this, he thinks we are still the best of friends. It's hard to just drop the guy too, because he helped me out throughout high school in a number of situations and I don't want to just forget that. And I'm not good at all at just straight up telling him I don't like him at times.

Someone earlier in this thread said that it's better to only hang out with this friend when in certain situations and that's a good idea. When it's just me and him and one more friend, it's a lot more smooth because he's not trying to be the **** when the group is small. But when we get to a party or with a lot of our friends he has to be the center of attention.

Now that we're all going to college I suspect that things will change and hopefully for the better. I assume I won't be hanging out as much with him since we're not going to the same school so I figure it'll be good for the friendship (as far as I'm concerned). We'll see.

It is a tough situation though. I was in denial and didn't want to say this guy wasnt' my best friend anymore because of all we've been through, but I got tired of him and have caught on with other friends I've had.

[Acid]

Re: Best Friend Problems

That's weird, I'm going through the same thing right now.

It sucks.