I wanted to go back to school in Chicago at DePaul University and double major in English and Communication. This decision was made whilst at A&T. I applied for re-admission, made sure my credits would transfer (and they did), and talked to my academic advisor almost on a daily basis. The only thing left was to come up with the money to pay for it.
Because we live in the United States, and because we are citizens who place a huge importance on attending college, I figured coming up with the funds would be a fairly simple task. I hit up Sallie Mae for the loan, and they said I had bad credit.
I do some research on my credit and it turns out that a previous bank in Chicago charged me for a bunch of ****, but they wouldn't tell me why these charges were made or why they didnt notify me about it when it first occured. This is what gave me the bad credit. My mother and I decide to clear it up anyway, pay the pank and yadda yadda yadda.
Credit takes 6 months to update.
After several appeal letters written to the university, It appears I am still $2000 short. There is no where I can get that money. Our economy, apparently, is so poor that young ambitious brothers like myself can't get loans to go to these type of schools anymore.
College now seems like a privilege to those who can afford it instead of a birth-right to those who yearn for it and deserve it.
This is how I feel.
Here's an example.
The pillow that I sleep on requires a certain amount of force to be moved. As a human, I can lift the pillow from the bed and toss it to the next room with a certain amount of effort. In fact, that only takes a small amount of my effort to be done. But I can push the wall that seperates my room from brothers as hard as I can..forever...and it won't budge. I use way more energy and effort pushing this wall than I do lifting and tossing the aforementioned pillow, yet the results are not the same.
I say all of that to say this.
It requires little to no effort to go to any school around here. I could probably still get into A&T. I put forth exponentially more effort to go to DePaul and it just won't happen. There's nothing I can do about that.
The most frustrating thing in life is when you don't get what you want and its not your fault. You can live with it, deal with it if you don't get what you want due to a poor decision that you make. You can learn from that. But when you feel like you do everything right and the only thing that is in the way of your goal is something you have no control over, that is a powerless feeling.
This is when most young brothers throw in the towel and give up on what they want in their life. Traditionally, that's why some talented, initially-amitious, bright people turn to drugs or crime. It's times like these when one gets tired of life ****ting on them and decides to throw it all away.
I, like I have done my whole life, will defy this law of tradition.
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