Fraternities...You In One?...Know About Them...? Need some opinions.

[TMagic]

So I was thinking about joining a Frat. And I have a few questions for those that know about them.

I'm also looking for this information about historically black fraternities as that's what I'm thinking about joining.


What does "hazing" consist of really?
How often does it happen?
Is it really as bad as people make it seem? Was it bad for you?

How much time a week is spent doing events for your frat?

Can you ever be too old to join?(I'm 21. In my fourth year of school.)

After going through hazing, can they still decide not to accept you?

Once in the frat, what is expected of you?

After you graduate, are you still expected to do certain things?

Any other info would be appreciated.

(Now I know that you may or may not be able to mention some of these things. So any information that you can give would be greatly appreciated. You could also send me an PM to keep things secret. No one would know and you'd be helping a fellow OS member make a great decision in his life.)

[ProfessaPackMan]

Re: Fraternities...You In One?...Know About Them...? Need some opinions.

I'm not in one but one of my friends is in one(Sigma I believe)up at Bowie St. From what I remember him telling me, he said when he joined and had to be a part of the hazing or initiation process, think he told me that did it for like 2 or 3 months straight(not sure off top of my head).

Also, from what I recall, he said that you do kinda get special "benefits" that you probably would never get if you weren't in a fraternity. I know like every week or every few weeks, they do some special events like participate in step shows and throw parties, etc. Not sure what they expect of you when you graduate because he's still in school. He also told me that if he could do it again, he would but he wouldn't go thru the same process he did to get in lol.

What fraternity we're you looking to join anyway, if you don't mind me asking brah?

[pfunk880]

Re: Fraternities...You In One?...Know About Them...? Need some opinions.

I'm in a Christian frat, so there really wasn't any hazing, but I can answer the rest of the questions for you.

Generally, the time commitment isn't awful. I remember it being the worst my first semester when I pledged, but it's definitely gotten easier since then. Plan on a few hours a week, but it's far from an impossible time commitment.

As far as your age, it might differ from frat to frat, but we have a grad student who pledged last semester and it was no problem. I believe he graduates at the end of this semester. We also had a senior pledge last spring (2007) who then graduated in the fall.

Expectations for us include attending chapter (about 1 hr a week), along with various service and social events. As a Christian frat, we also have religious events... your mileage may vary.

Alums are expected to have some role in the frat after graduation. Some alums are more involved than others, and some frats have better alumni networks than others. We're currently working to involve our alums a bit more.

Hope that helps!

[mgoblue]

Re: Fraternities...You In One?...Know About Them...? Need some opinions.

With regards to hazing, I wouldn't join any fraternity that beat the hell out of me or any sort of hazing. It's crap, and isn't "brotherhood"...why do you want to suddenly be "brothers" with guys who were treating you like crap a minute ago.

I joined a fraternity in college and it was one of the best decisions I've made. I've got friends for life (seriously, I went to two weddings this summer and one bachelor party with them), I had a blast in college (partying, hanging out, intramurals on the fraternity team, etc), and was introduced to fun things I wouldn't have seen otherwise (greek week for one).

For me it worked out great, but there are a bunch of horrible and useless houses out there that haze, are full of tools, etc. You have to find somewhere that you fit in and honestly like the guys.

Oh, i also don't like calling my house a "frat" due to the connotation. Yes, we had parties like any college student, but a real house is more than Animal House (as much as I love that movie I'd hate to be that).

[pfunk880]

Re: Fraternities...You In One?...Know About Them...? Need some opinions.

With regards to hazing, I wouldn't join any fraternity that beat the hell out of me or any sort of hazing. It's crap, and isn't "brotherhood"...why do you want to suddenly be "brothers" with guys who were treating you like crap a minute ago.

I joined a fraternity in college and it was one of the best decisions I've made. I've got friends for life (seriously, I went to two weddings this summer and one bachelor party with them), I had a blast in college (partying, hanging out, intramurals on the fraternity team, etc), and was introduced to fun things I wouldn't have seen otherwise (greek week for one).

For me it worked out great, but there are a bunch of horrible and useless houses out there that haze, are full of tools, etc. You have to find somewhere that you fit in and honestly like the guys.

Oh, i also don't like calling my house a "frat" due to the connotation. Yes, we had parties like any college student, but a real house is more than Animal House (as much as I love that movie I'd hate to be that).

Agreed on all counts.

And yes, Greek Week is awesome. We have won two of the past three years.

[nyisles16]

Re: Fraternities...You In One?...Know About Them...? Need some opinions.

Yes, I was in one in my college days. I don't know about your situation, but usually the ones that weren't taken on my campus were seniors in their last years. Basically they want people to help grow their particular frat or sorority.

Once you're in, basic activities include fundraising, attending meetings (I was on various Greek counsels during my time), and doing work for charity (I helped on several events, notably the Special Olympics the one year that it was held at my school, and sold consessions at Buffalo Bills games). There of course is always the social aspect as well (get togethers, socials, formals, parties, et al). Also, check to see if the fraternity you want to join has other chapters -- there are cool things to do like "road trips", and perhaps they have a national gathering (we used to go down to DC for a basketball tourney with our other chapters).

You should check out your campus's "definition" on hazing -- it is a tricky word and often can cover "anything and everything" -- like at my school it was defined as being "forced to do something that you do not want to do". Of course, there were the "bad houses" on my campus, but luckily I found a great fraternity to join. Like mgo said, what is the point of being in a "brotherhood" if people treat you like crap?

As far as what happens when you get out, you most likely will stay in touch in some fashion with the chapter. One of my alumni members keeps track of everyone and sends "newsletters" via emails. I've been back on occasion, but not recently.

[Husker_OS]

Re: Fraternities...You In One?...Know About Them...? Need some opinions.

So I was thinking about joining a Frat. And I have a few questions for those that know about them.

First of all, don't call it a frat.

I'm also looking for this information about historically black fraternities as that's what I'm thinking about joining.

Historically black fraternities are less in number but they're all quality fraternities from what I've seen(for example here at Alabama its the top 10% that get invited to pledge Omega Psi, Alpha Phi, and Kappa Alpha Psi)

What does "hazing" consist of really?

Depends on the campus. Alabama is different than a lot of other campuses when it comes to "hazing".

Is it really as bad as people make it seem? Was it bad for you?

Most of the time, no its not as bad as people make it out to be. And no, it wasn't necessarily bad for me. Its mostly a mental thing(that's what gets people to quit mostly). The physical part isn't bad so long as you're in shape.

How much time a week is spent doing events for your frat?

Do you mean during pledgeship? If so, its daily.

Can you ever be too old to join?(I'm 21. In my fourth year of school.)

Too old? No. But if you graduate in May of '09, its too late. But if you're gonna be around for a 5th year, give it a shot.

After going through hazing, can they still decide not to accept you?

Yes, but that's rare.

Once in the frat, what is expected of you?

You'll learn this through pledgeship.

After you graduate, are you still expected to do certain things?

No. But you'll want to help out your fraternity after graduation. You'll go there on gamedays in the Fall, get newsletters on how the fraternity is doing and how the chapter is doing.


If you do it, you won't regret it. Those who slam the greek system, do so either because they're jealous or don't understand it. Good luck with rush and pledgeship.

[dkgojackets]

Re: Fraternities...You In One?...Know About Them...? Need some opinions.

There is a strong correlation to the amount of hazing a frat does and the number of douchebags in it. Just avoid that crap, there aren't many respected fraternities that do that anymore.

I think if you're 21 and going into your last year though that its too late to join. The pledge process is usually at least a semester if not the whole year. I pledged chi psi this year (my second) and am going to be done in three, so it's just weird that I'll be out while the rest of my pledge class is only halfway through, if that. As a senior it will probably be tougher to connect with fellow pledges who are all underclassmen and probably freshmen. We have weekly meetings as a pledge class and then have overall meetings about random stuff the IFC says we need to go over, weekends there's either a party or we all go out to eat together or something like that. The time commitment isnt huge.

On a side note youll get some people who bitch about "frat" or "fraternity" that tend to be really insecure with themselves. It doesnt matter at all. You know the type of brotherhood you're in.

[Scott]

Re: Fraternities...You In One?...Know About Them...? Need some opinions.

I'm in a fraternity. Sigma Alpha Mu, Epsilon Alpha chapter, Sigma Delta pledge class. "Hazing" is not allowed and frats who haze at our school get fined and suspended. I probably spend 5-10 hours doing events with my frat. I rushed my frat at the age of 22, so no. They can decide to not accept you, but its unlikely. Once your in the frat, you're a brother and nothing more is expected of you than any other brother.

[Herbsinator]

Re: Fraternities...You In One?...Know About Them...? Need some opinions.

I'm not in a fraternity. Honestly, I just think that a fraternity wasn't right for me. I had the opportunity to join, but I just didn't feel like it was going to work for me. I'm not saying you can't have a good time in a fraternity because I know a lot of guys who really like it. But I just know that I wouldn't enjoy it personally.

[Qb]

Re: Fraternities...You In One?...Know About Them...? Need some opinions.

I pledged Sigma Nu spring semester sophomore year ('99) at Duquesne University. I would imagine that my experience was different in some ways due to the relatively small size of my school (probably less than 5,000 on campus, but another 10,000 commuters maybe). I don't regret it one bit. Had a lot of fun, learned a lot about working with others and just met a ton of people overall. If you choose the right group of guys for what you want (it can be tricky if you just rush with no prior knowledge), you should have a good experience. I was lucky in that I had a good friend who pledged the previous semester, so I knew what to expect and got to know some of the brothers beforehand.

Unfortunately, our chapter had its charter revoked by Nationals for what was deemed hazing. What was this heinous act? We paddled the pledges after they were initiated and were full brothers. All members of their tree that were present (usually 2 or 3) got a shot; most just gave a mild whack but there was always a guy or two that wan't too show off -- although we strictly forbade anyone who had been drinking from paddling which helped greatly. Guys weren't walking or crawling out of this battered, bruised and bloody; we were all happy and celebratory.

Is it hazing by definition? Sure, I guess, although since they were brothers at this point they could say no with no repercussions aside from some ribbing down the line. We had one not do it in my time because he said he had hemorrhoids at the time He was known as 'Rhoids from then on but he was somewhat bigger so most not aware of the story didn't catch on. Anyways, to my understanding this is a relatively basic tradition across fraternities, as most college bookstores I've been in sell paddles and letters. My Mom had a paddle still around our house when I was a kid from her sorority days...

This only happened in the past two years, so while for the most part out of the loop with the active brothers, I know that this was about the extent of our questionable activities. My friend and I removed a lot of borderline to bad stuff after took charge. Yes, we got rid of stuff we had to do because we knew it wasn't right and served no real purpose other than amusement. I knew the Director of Greek Life from serving as his GA for a year and he would always tell me how great the guys were doing -- one of the best GPAs, active in community/campus service, good showing in Greek Week & Carnival and not a hint of trouble -- yet Nationals (who also gave glowing reviews year after year) did not hesitate to pull the plug. We all suspect that much of it was due to there being a truly serious hazing case at another chapter around the same time. One of my brothers works for Sigma Nu HQ and he said that they were lumped together at the National convention as 'the two hazing chapters', be it just or not.

Wow, I hadn't thought about this for a while, but I realize how much it meant/means to me. I'll never forget the day I got that letter in the mail saying that they 'regret to inform me' that the Kappa Delta chapter was no more. I'm still a Sigma Nu, that doesn't change. But there is no more Active vs Alumni annual street hockey game, no anniversary formals (25th would have been in '07), no meeting the new guys and trying to help them out in some way as a contact, no giving back what some of the older guys did for us. And that sucks. Sorry to go off like this, but in a way it might answer some of Tmagic's questions...

[fishepa]

Re: Fraternities...You In One?...Know About Them...? Need some opinions.

I was in a fraternity at Auburn, best thing I ever did.

[TJdaSportsGuy]

Re: Fraternities...You In One?...Know About Them...? Need some opinions.

I elected not to go the frat route in college, simply because I've always been the type of person who makes friends rather easily. That, coupled with the fact that there were a lot of my high school friends at my school AND the fact that I was broke...it all amounted to me not being all that interested in joining one.

It's weird...people who join frats swear by them...and people who don't swear by that decision. It tells me there's really no right or wrong answer. For me, because I am a pretty open and friendly person, I had a blast in college without having the benefit of fraternity brothers.

For my wife, she's the exact opposite of me when it comes to meeting new people. She gets all quiet and sorta just clams up around unfamiliar people. So she really benefited from joining a sorority.

[fishepa]

Re: Fraternities...You In One?...Know About Them...? Need some opinions.

I elected not to go the frat route in college, simply because I've always been the type of person who makes friends rather easily. That, coupled with the fact that there were a lot of my high school friends at my school AND the fact that I was broke...it all amounted to me not being all that interested in joining one.

It's weird...people who join frats swear by them...and people who don't swear by that decision. It tells me there's really no right or wrong answer. For me, because I am a pretty open and friendly person, I had a blast in college without having the benefit of fraternity brothers.

For my wife, she's the exact opposite of me when it comes to meeting new people. She gets all quiet and sorta just clams up around unfamiliar people. So she really benefited from joining a sorority.

When I went to Auburn I didnt' know anyone, not one soul. Which is the reason I went the fraternity route.

[TJdaSportsGuy]

Re: Fraternities...You In One?...Know About Them...? Need some opinions.

When I went to Auburn I didnt' know anyone, not one soul. Which is the reason I went the fraternity route.

Yeah, see? And with me, we had half of my high school baseball team living on the same floor of our dorm building, lol. Totally different situation.