F My Life

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  • SoMiss2000
    Hall Of Fame
    • Oct 2002
    • 20499

    #1

    F My Life

    I'm sure one of you has to have posted this before but someone sent it to me and it is pure comedy!



    "Today, my girlfriend and I were up late watching tv when an infomercial for "male enhancement" came on. I grabbed for my phone to make a call when my girlfriend said "O honey, dont buy that, it's okay that you're small." I was checking my voicemails. FML"
    "Never trust a big butt and a smile."-Ricky Bell
    Check out www.sliderset.net



    Currently Listening: The D.O.C.: No One Can Do It Better (evidence that rap music used to be good!)
  • ODogg
    Hall Of Fame
    • Feb 2003
    • 37953

    #2
    Re: F My Life

    Originally posted by SoMiss2000
    I'm sure one of you has to have posted this before but someone sent it to me and it is pure comedy!



    "Today, my girlfriend and I were up late watching tv when an infomercial for "male enhancement" came on. I grabbed for my phone to make a call when my girlfriend said "O honey, dont buy that, it's okay that you're small." I was checking my voicemails. FML"
    LOL, he needs to do tongue pushups then..hilarious
    Streaming PC & PS5 games, join me most nights after 6:00pm ET on TwitchTV https://www.twitch.tv/shaunh20
    or Tiktok https://www.tiktok.com/@shaunh741

    Comment

    • countryboy
      Growing pains
      • Sep 2003
      • 52723

      #3
      Re: F My Life

      "Today, this really attractive woman that I've known for years told me that when I can have sex with her standing up, she'll have sex with me. I'm confined to a wheelchair. FML"

      thats cold...lol
      I can't shave with my eyes closed, meaning each day I have to look at myself in the mirror and respect who I see.

      I miss the old days of Operation Sports :(


      Louisville Cardinals/St.Louis Cardinals

      Comment

      • TheLetterZ
        All Star
        • Jul 2002
        • 6752

        #4
        Re: F My Life

        It's been my home page for a couple weeks now. It is the single greatest site ever invented.

        Comment

        • Cyros
          ULTRAAAA!!!!
          • Jun 2003
          • 12628

          #5
          Re: F My Life

          Originally posted by countryboy
          "Today, this really attractive woman that I've known for years told me that when I can have sex with her standing up, she'll have sex with me. I'm confined to a wheelchair. FML"

          thats cold...lol
          So heartless.
          Watch Me Twitch

          My Video Game Streams

          Comment

          • Solidice
            Guns Up!
            • Jul 2006
            • 9929

            #6
            Re: F My Life

            "Today, I submitted my picture to a rating website. It was rejected because I didn't clarify which person I was. The picture was of my dog and me. FML"



            there are a lot of funny stuff on that site. wonder how much really happened to those poeple and how many are just making stuff up.
            College Football 26 Team Information Spreadsheet

            My CFB 25 Dynasty Spreadsheet
            My CFB 25 Dynasty Youtube playlist(full games, no commentary)

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            • DTX3
              Hall Of Fame
              • Jun 2003
              • 13022

              #7
              Re: F My Life

              Today, I finished having sex with my girlfriend when she asked if I had started smoking weed again. I said yes and asked if she could smell it on me, since I had recently smoked. She replied, "The only time you can last this long is when you're high." FML
              XBL: DTX3
              PSN: DTX987
              WII U: DodgerBlue760

              Comment

              • oakfan162
                Get Ducked Up!
                • Mar 2006
                • 4724

                #8
                Re: F My Life

                Best.Website.Ever.
                University of Oregon
                A's
                Sharks
                Warriors
                49ers

                Comment

                • Marino
                  Moderator
                  • Jan 2008
                  • 18113

                  #9
                  Re: F My Life

                  This site is pure gold.

                  Comment

                  • HungryBologna
                    MVP
                    • Nov 2003
                    • 3156

                    #10
                    Re: F My Life

                    Today, I was watching a documentary on The World's Fattest Man. Half way through the show the reported started talking about his girlfriend. The Fattest Man in the world has a girlfriend. I'm 21 an have never had a girlfriend. FML

                    Comment

                    • Scottdau
                      Banned
                      • Feb 2003
                      • 32580

                      #11
                      Re: F My Life

                      Originally posted by ODogg
                      LOL, he needs to do tongue pushups then..hilarious
                      Ace kicks ***! And that was funny.

                      Comment

                      • Blzer
                        Resident film pundit
                        • Mar 2004
                        • 42515

                        #12
                        Re: F My Life

                        I posted on this site a long time ago, but they never put up my story. FML.
                        Last edited by Blzer; 02-20-2009, 11:59 PM.
                        Samsung PN60F8500 PDP / Anthem MRX 720 / Klipsch RC-62 II / Klipsch RF-82 II (x2) / Insignia NS-B2111 (x2) / SVS PC13-Ultra / SVS SB-2000 / Sony MDR-7506 Professional / Audio-Technica ATH-R70x / Sony PS3 & PS4 / DirecTV HR44-500 / DarbeeVision DVP-5000 / Panamax M5400-PM / Elgato HD60

                        Comment

                        • J-Unit40
                          Boom!!
                          • Sep 2005
                          • 8260

                          #13
                          Re: F My Life

                          "Today my lesbian sister enthusiastically showed me her new strap on. Not only does she get more girls than me, she now has a bigger penis too. FML"

                          I love this one below:

                          "Today, I decided to watch some porn before bed. The lights were off and my roommate was already asleep behind me. I put on my noise-canceling headphones and turned up the volume all the way. After a few strokes my roommate got up and plugged in the headphones for me. FML"
                          "Hard work beats talent, when talent isn't working hard.”

                          Comment

                          • Mo
                            SSN
                            • May 2003
                            • 11425

                            #14
                            Re: F My Life

                            Today, my professor, who was born without arms, asked somebody "need a hand?" There are over 300 students in that class and I was the only one laughing. FML



                            Today, in class my friend played a joke on me by pulling my seat from under me while i was about to sit. I fell and everybody laughed at me. During the next class i did the same thing to him, he broke his arm. He was the star of the basketball team, nobody laughed. FML
                            Don't you EVER read my blog? It's gotten a lot better.

                            Comment

                            • cubsfan203
                              All Star
                              • Jun 2004
                              • 6689

                              #15
                              Re: F My Life

                              Today, I called my girlfriend and she answered telling me how amazing the sex was last night and she can't wait to see me later. I didn't see her last night. FML
                              Fan of....
                              Memphis Tigers - Texas Rangers - Dallas Mavericks - Dallas Cowboys

                              Coaching Career of Chris Matthews (CH2k8)
                              The Legend of Ocho Ocho

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