Divorce

[Darkleaf]

Re: Divorce

Homer I hope you at least went out and had some fun while you two were on your break, knowing that she was out nailing some guy and you were at home with the kids would be unforgivable to me.

[HAILAS]

Re: Divorce

Homer I hope you at least went out and had some fun while you two were on your break, knowing that she was out nailing some guy and you were at home with the kids would be unforgivable to me.

not unless that's what he chose to do..everyone who's being cheated on doesn't have to 'have fun" by sowing their royal oats as well (if that's what you meant).
I would have that a$$ tested though before anything went down. Cant be too sure now and days and she was keeping things from you for quite awhile. Don't know how you'd convince her without sounding like an a-hole though..

[homer73]

Re: Divorce

Oh, I know now that I did have a big role in this... We talked but didn't communicate. I really did just take her for granted.
We both don't like confrontation and just let things go too long.

I left and did try to have a little fun... but I was more concerned with my kids and such to get too crazy. I got a place for myself and kept the kids half the time. It was good, was too busy coordinating and taking care of things to think much of her. After a little time my anger passed and we started talking...

[Scottdau]

Re: Divorce

Oh, I know now that I did have a big role in this... We talked but didn't communicate. I really did just take her for granted.
We both don't like confrontation and just let things go too long.

I left and did try to have a little fun... but I was more concerned with my kids and such to get too crazy. I got a place for myself and kept the kids half the time. It was good, was too busy coordinating and taking care of things to think much of her. After a little time my anger passed and we started talking...

There you go. You guys should be fine. Once you realized you both had a part in this. It makes it go a lot better. Glad to see you guys working on your marriage.

[Jonesy]

Re: Divorce

Oh, I know now that I did have a big role in this... We talked but didn't communicate. I really did just take her for granted.
We both don't like confrontation and just let things go too long.

I left and did try to have a little fun... but I was more concerned with my kids and such to get too crazy. I got a place for myself and kept the kids half the time. It was good, was too busy coordinating and taking care of things to think much of her. After a little time my anger passed and we started talking...

Good luck with it mate, can't be an easy thing to go through but hopefully things turn out for the best.

[jonpt]

Re: Divorce

Oh, I know now that I did have a big role in this... We talked but didn't communicate. I really did just take her for granted.
We both don't like confrontation and just let things go too long.

I left and did try to have a little fun... but I was more concerned with my kids and such to get too crazy. I got a place for myself and kept the kids half the time. It was good, was too busy coordinating and taking care of things to think much of her. After a little time my anger passed and we started talking...

I know exactly how you feel man. Same thing happened to me in 2005. I was married for almost 10 years to this girl before she pulled this. You're a better man than me. I couldn't get over it. We tried for a little bit but I was just reminded of it constantly. Things like just watching a movie and someone gets cheated on and boom there's awkward silence now. It would have probably gone away to a degree but I just had to get out and move on. We had no kids though so that made it easier. I couldn't imagine what I would have done if kids were involved. Good luck, I hope things work out for the best for you.

[cable guy]

Re: Divorce

I am recently seperated. I am hurting real bad. I got kicked out do too several reasons. No cheating or anything. She doesnt want to talk about it or go to therapy. With that said I assume divorce is next. Its been 3 weeks, but she hasnt pulled the trigger yet. She did say the only thing that MAY save it is time. I dont think so though. My friends are optimistic that girls need time for something like this. I dont see how with out talking or therapy, but I have no choice at this time. Any suggestions or anything guys.

I am hurting bad right now.

Hardest thing I have ever went through.

[Flightwhite24]

Re: Divorce

I am recently seperated. I am hurting real bad. I got kicked out do too several reasons. No cheating or anything. She doesnt want to talk about it or go to therapy. With that said I assume divorce is next. Its been 3 weeks, but she hasnt pulled the trigger yet. She did say the only thing that MAY save it is time. I dont think so though. My friends are optimistic that girls need time for something like this. I dont see how with out talking or therapy, but I have no choice at this time. Any suggestions or anything guys.

I am hurting bad right now.

Hardest thing I have ever went through.

My advice is if she asking for time, all you can really do is give it to her. Don't smother her and try to force her because it probably won't work. Stay away from head games and things of that sort. Trust me she know's you are hurting and she may be as well

I know it's hard because I went through a divorce 8 years ago and it was the worst time of my life, but time did in fact heal some wounds. I had a chance to work my marriage out but I chose not to. Too many things that I felt were unrepairable.

If you are a religous person, never hurts to turn to whatever you believe in and hope for the best. You will get through this no matter the outcome.

Take care and good luck.

[cable guy]

Re: Divorce

My advice is if she asking for time, all you can really do is give it to her. Don't smother her and try to force her because it probably won't work. Stay away from head games and things of that sort. Trust me she know's you are hurting and she may be as well

I know it's hard because I went through a divorce 8 years ago and it was the worst time of my life, but time did in fact heal some wounds. I had a chance to work my marriage out but I chose not to. Too many things that I felt were unrepairable.

If you are a religous person, never hurts to turn to whatever you believe in and hope for the best. You will get through this no matter the outcome.

Take care and good luck.

Thankyou so much for the great advice FLIGHT!

I am religous, and I am now telling myself what is meant to be will be. Maybe God has another path for me. Thats what I am trying to tell myself.

[jeremym480]

Re: Divorce

My advice is if she asking for time, all you can really do is give it to her. Don't smother her and try to force her because it probably won't work. Stay away from head games and things of that sort. Trust me she know's you are hurting and she may be as well

I know it's hard because I went through a divorce 8 years ago and it was the worst time of my life, but time did in fact heal some wounds. I had a chance to work my marriage out but I chose not to. Too many things that I felt were unrepairable.

If you are a religous person, never hurts to turn to whatever you believe in and hope for the best. You will get through this no matter the outcome.

Take care and good luck.

This is solid advance. I've been there before too (divorce in 2004). Don't take anything I say as gospel but, from my experience once a woman is done she's done. Hopefully, for your sake I'm wrong but, if I were you I would start looking out for #1 and get yourself prepared. If you have a joint checking account I'd go ahead and get my own. My ex pulled basically the same thing and wanted "time". Then when we separated she ended up almost clearing out our bank account. If I were you I'd try to stay busy too. Pick up a hobby or go out golfing or something with your guy friends. There's nothing worse than sitting at home alone with a wondering mind. Other than that I don't have much advice to give. I know it sucks and it probably will for a while but, at this point the only thing that can help is time.

[Heelfan71]

Re: Divorce

I am recently seperated. I am hurting real bad. I got kicked out do too several reasons. No cheating or anything. She doesnt want to talk about it or go to therapy. With that said I assume divorce is next. Its been 3 weeks, but she hasnt pulled the trigger yet. She did say the only thing that MAY save it is time. I dont think so though. My friends are optimistic that girls need time for something like this. I dont see how with out talking or therapy, but I have no choice at this time. Any suggestions or anything guys.

I am hurting bad right now.

Hardest thing I have ever went through.

DO NOT CALL HER. IGNORE HER. I know it is easier said than done, but do not do it for any reason. And when or if she calls, sound happy (even if its fake). Don't ask about getting together, beg or plead with her. If she does bring up any issues with you, agree with her and don't try and explain yourself.

[Flightwhite24]

Re: Divorce

This is solid advance. I've been there before too (divorce in 2004). Don't take anything I say as gospel but, from my experience once a woman is done she's done. Hopefully, for your sake I'm wrong but, if I were you I would start looking out for #1 and get yourself prepared. If you have a joint checking account I'd go ahead and get my own. My ex pulled basically the same thing and wanted "time". Then when we separated she ended up almost clearing out our bank account. If I were you I'd try to stay busy too. Pick up a hobby or go out golfing or something with your guy friends. There's nothing worse than sitting at home alone with a wondering mind. Other than that I don't have much advice to give. I know it sucks and it probably will for a while but, at this point the only thing that can help is time.

I forgot about staying busy. Keeping your mind occupied/doing things imo is critical to getting though these types of situations and helps keeping the stess levels down. "Very Good Advice"

[Scottdau]

Re: Divorce

If you can owe up or know what you did, you can change and she will see it. But a lot times when they say it is a time issue, usually the other person met someone. Be honest with her and ask her if she met someone. If she did. Then you can go from there. Your in my prayers man.

[Heelfan71]

Re: Divorce

If you can owe up or know what you did, you can change and she will see it. But a lot times when they say it is a time issue, usually the other person met someone. Be honest with her and ask her if she met someone. If she did. Then you can go from there. Your in my prayers man.

not always true though. Not knowing what he did, it's hard to say. But sometimes they mean what they say. She will talk about it when she is ready. Don't force her or try to get her to talk about whatever is bothering her.

[Scottdau]

Re: Divorce

not always true though. Not knowing what he did, it's hard to say. But sometimes they mean what they say. She will talk about it when she is ready. Don't force her or try to get her to talk about whatever is bothering her.

I don't agree, but you still have some good advice.