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  • Pared
    Legen - WAIT FOR IT
    • Feb 2003
    • 39337

    #1

    Divorce

    Any idea on how to get through one? What to say to kids? What to do with those hurting?

    No, I'm not getting divorced. A friend is and I don't really know if there is anything I can do other than listen.
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  • gtm
    M*t*l F*r*v*r
    • Jul 2002
    • 3946

    #2
    Re: Divorce

    Originally posted by Pared
    Any idea on how to get through one? What to say to kids? What to do with those hurting?

    No, I'm not getting divorced. A friend is and I don't really know if there is anything I can do other than listen.
    Do you know if reconciliation is out of the question? Is it an ammicable divorce or did it get ugly? These are some questions you should be aware of, determining how you could get involved with the supporting factor, wether it be one party or both.
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    Comment

    • Pared
      Legen - WAIT FOR IT
      • Feb 2003
      • 39337

      #3
      Re: Divorce

      I think reconciliation is out of the question. That's sort of on them and I don't think I should get involved in that right...?

      What do you mean by ugly? Lawyers, custody suits and so forth? I just think they are going to go their separate ways. They just don't want to have anything to do with each other at this point.
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      Comment

      • fistofrage
        Hall Of Fame
        • Aug 2002
        • 13682

        #4
        Re: Divorce

        Just make sure both parties can come to an agreement on these things and handle the divorce themselves. Divorces cost ALOT of money.

        Not much you can say to the people that are hurting, just let them know you are there. Time will heal all wounds, but nothing else really will.
        Chalepa Ta Kala.....

        Comment

        • gtm
          M*t*l F*r*v*r
          • Jul 2002
          • 3946

          #5
          Re: Divorce

          Originally posted by Pared
          I think reconciliation is out of the question. That's sort of on them and I don't think I should get involved in that right...?

          What do you mean by ugly? Lawyers, custody suits and so forth? I just think they are going to go their separate ways. They just don't want to have anything to do with each other at this point.
          Ok, so no chance. Yes, I did mean the whole custody and lawyers thing. If children are involved, there attention needs to be directed at the kids. They can get divorced and go their own way but the children are priority. They need to do what's best for them but I'm sure the court will handle the custody case.
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          Comment

          • Pared
            Legen - WAIT FOR IT
            • Feb 2003
            • 39337

            #6
            Re: Divorce

            The "kids" are over the age of 18, so that's not a concern. I just don't know what to say to them. Sorry?

            Just seems odd. Dealing with death seems easier than this.
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            Comment

            • 23
              yellow
              • Sep 2002
              • 66469

              #7
              Re: Divorce

              Time man, that's the only thing that will really get them through it.

              I had a buddy here at work that went through one. He'd literally be here at work crying against the wall, crying at his desk, coming in early start talking then start crying.

              Eventually he got passed the crying and sorrow but it took some time. He got his head right because a divorce leaves a sting on you (you are literally joined together with another person) that you can't just make go away. Its a complete change of your life in an instant so being there will mean alot to that person in the long run.

              Comment

              • gtm
                M*t*l F*r*v*r
                • Jul 2002
                • 3946

                #8
                Re: Divorce

                Originally posted by 23
                Time man, that's the only thing that will really get them through it.

                I had a buddy here at work that went through one. He'd literally be here at work crying against the wall, crying at his desk, coming in early start talking then start crying.

                Eventually he got passed the crying and sorrow but it took some time. He got his head right because a divorce leaves a sting on you (you are literally joined together with another person) that you can't just make go away. Its a complete change of your life in an instant so being there will mean alot to that person in the long run.
                Well said.
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                Comment

                • gtm
                  M*t*l F*r*v*r
                  • Jul 2002
                  • 3946

                  #9
                  Re: Divorce

                  Since the kids are adults, hopefully they will be able to settle amongst themselves. Giving him/her or both emotional support is what's best for you to do.
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                  Comment

                  • Scottdau
                    Banned
                    • Feb 2003
                    • 32580

                    #10
                    Re: Divorce

                    Originally posted by Pared
                    I think reconciliation is out of the question. That's sort of on them and I don't think I should get involved in that right...?

                    What do you mean by ugly? Lawyers, custody suits and so forth? I just think they are going to go their separate ways. They just don't want to have anything to do with each other at this point.
                    It depends if he is a good friend or not? There really is no great thing to say. Just listen to him. The sad thing is a lot of times people are just tired of each other. Thinking it will be better with someone else. That is not true. It is better just to say with the one you are with and work on the problems. But that is juts my opinion. I think listening to him and hearing what he has to say. Then you can give him advice. It is very hard on kids if they have kids. I think if you base your marriage on commitment and not feelings you can't go wrong. Feelings come and go. Any ways just listen to him and be slow to speak, that is my advice.

                    Comment

                    • Scottdau
                      Banned
                      • Feb 2003
                      • 32580

                      #11
                      Re: Divorce

                      Originally posted by Pared
                      The "kids" are over the age of 18, so that's not a concern. I just don't know what to say to them. Sorry?

                      Just seems odd. Dealing with death seems easier than this.
                      In a way it is. It is like ripping about a family. My parents divorces when I was 10, my brother was 16 and he turned to drugs. I was lucky I didn't go down that route.

                      Comment

                      • SoMiss2000
                        Hall Of Fame
                        • Oct 2002
                        • 20499

                        #12
                        Re: Divorce

                        Thankfully, my ex-wife and I have no kids but it still was hard on us both. The process was pretty simple though, did it ourselves, no lawyers involved. Just us and the judge.
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                        Comment

                        • MassNole
                          Banned
                          • Mar 2006
                          • 18848

                          #13
                          Re: Divorce

                          I love divorces.

                          Comment

                          • Scottdau
                            Banned
                            • Feb 2003
                            • 32580

                            #14
                            Re: Divorce

                            Originally posted by MassNole
                            I love divorces.
                            CH CHING!

                            Comment

                            • oakfan162
                              Get Ducked Up!
                              • Mar 2006
                              • 4724

                              #15
                              Re: Divorce

                              My parents divorced when I was 16, I feel that my relationship with both of them has improved greatly. But, they are also still on speaking terms...
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