Need advice on a girl

[youvalss]

Re: Need advice on a girl

Doesn't matter how much she weights, what matters is how fast she can lose it. If she can't, well...wait for her to sing and run away.

[Cane_Mutiny]

Re: Need advice on a girl

I say no - these kinds of situations, where the girl's not so good-looking and she's getting older and gradually more desperate, are the ones that get you stuck. This is especially true if you're a "nice guy" like me. You don't want to trap yourself and end up stuck with some extremely clingy overweight girl.

Just get out and make a serious effort to try to find somebody that you feel like you could see yourself with. The shyness is something you should really try to get over at this point - you're 39 and really, what do you have to lose? Get yourself in shape and try to be as charming as possible, and I promise you'll find someone eventually.

Don't settle - get out there and find someone you like.

[Jonesy]

Re: Need advice on a girl

Don't settle - get out there and find someone you like.

This. There are plenty of fish in the sea.

You seem like a decent guy with a good career, i'm sure you'd have no trouble meeting decent middle age women if you really tried. Also don't be to proud to try online dating, lots of great relationships/marriages are starting there.

[WazzuRC]

Re: Need advice on a girl

I say go for it. You go out with her a few times, and if it doesn't click it doesn't click. It might give you a little kick in the pants and some experience talking to women that you can use to actually find a girl thats right for you, if this one isn't "the one."

Plus, ugly girls always have better looking friends.

[Buckeyes_Doc]

Re: Need advice on a girl

I wouldnt do it, I've been in a similar situation where a girl who I wasnt attractived too at all was interested in me and me being a nice guy thought well one date wont hurt. Well then she asked me on another one and then I thought well I dont want to hurt your feelings. Then I got trapped, and ended up dating her for a couple months and then hurt her more in the end.

Just beware what can happen and you have to ask yourself that if you go on a date and she wants more what will you say? It's better to just be honest with someone from the getco then end up risking leading them on (which arent you intentions but it just happens).

Just my two cents.

[stewaat]

Re: Need advice on a girl

Ok, second time tonight i'm turning to my fellow OS'ers and asking for advice. I'm 39 and single and frankly do NOT do well with the ladies. I haven't dated in so long that it's too embarrassing to post on here how long it's been so I will not.

Recently I had my class reunion and a girl who I went to school with has expressed great interest in me. She is overweight and not all that attractive but seems like a very nice person from talking to her.

She has been messaging me quite a bit looking for a date with me and on one hand I feel like "not going to happen because I don't find you physically attractive" but on the other hand I feel like maybe i'm judging too much on looks and all. Plus I feel like, I'm 39 and single and maybe I shouldn't be so damned picky.

So what do you guys think, should I just keep trying to talk to her online to see if I think I like her personality or is that leading her on? Should I lower my physical standards or is being with someone you're not really attracted to just a waste of both of our time?

Normally i'd just ignore this but she does seem like a nice girl and since i'm getting older I'm wondering if I should consider "settling" for something less than ideal. Or perhaps it'd be better to remain single than be with someone I don't really 100% feel into.

Never settle.

You just need to boost your confidence with women. Do you work with women? Just talk to them and get more comfortable around them.

What's the worst thing they can say? No

Think of everything that goes along with a significant other: stress, money, and kids.

If you want a good friend find a guy to hang out with. What's the point in being with somebody of the opposite sex you're not attracted to. Do you just want a female friend to have one?

No physical attraction = never gonna work.

[Herbsinator]

Re: Need advice on a girl

Ok, second time tonight i'm turning to my fellow OS'ers and asking for advice. I'm 39 and single and frankly do NOT do well with the ladies. I haven't dated in so long that it's too embarrassing to post on here how long it's been so I will not.

Recently I had my class reunion and a girl who I went to school with has expressed great interest in me. She is overweight and not all that attractive but seems like a very nice person from talking to her.

She has been messaging me quite a bit looking for a date with me and on one hand I feel like "not going to happen because I don't find you physically attractive" but on the other hand I feel like maybe i'm judging too much on looks and all. Plus I feel like, I'm 39 and single and maybe I shouldn't be so damned picky.

So what do you guys think, should I just keep trying to talk to her online to see if I think I like her personality or is that leading her on? Should I lower my physical standards or is being with someone you're not really attracted to just a waste of both of our time?

Normally i'd just ignore this but she does seem like a nice girl and since i'm getting older I'm wondering if I should consider "settling" for something less than ideal. Or perhaps it'd be better to remain single than be with someone I don't really 100% feel into.

My opinion. At least give the girl a chance. There is more to a relationship than just physical attraction. Go out with her, see if you have fun, and if she is someone you would like to spend more time with. Even people who aren't by definition "attractive" sometimes have little things about them that can make them appealing. Plus, you aren't getting any older. At least take a shot to see if you like her. If you go out with her once and it doesn't feel like there is a connection there than just move on and don't call her back. It's that simple.

I guess I'm not as shallow as some of you dudes around here. I think physical attraction is important, but it isn't even close to the most important thing. I don't pick girls based on how they will look as my "arm candy." I want someone who I can spend time with and won't annoy the **** out of me constantly.

[ubernoob]

Re: Need advice on a girl

I guess I'm not as shallow as some of you dudes around here. I think physical attraction is important, but it isn't even close to the most important thing. I don't pick girls based on how they will look as my "arm candy." I want someone who I can spend time with and won't annoy the **** out of me constantly.

it has nothing to do with being shallow and everything to do with having a little physical attraction. Its human nature plain and simple.

[J.R. Locke]

Re: Need advice on a girl

Most dudes don't hook up with someone who they are compatible with because they are scared about what other people say.

Sex is what it is. I assume at 39 you have figured that out by now. But finding a companion is always nice.

Take her out and see what happens.

[WazzuRC]

Re: Need advice on a girl

Never settle.

You just need to boost your confidence with women. Do you work with women? Just talk to them and get more comfortable around them.

What's the worst thing they can say? No

Think of everything that goes along with a significant other: stress, money, and kids.

If you want a good friend find a guy to hang out with. What's the point in being with somebody of the opposite sex you're not attracted to. Do you just want a female friend to have one?

No physical attraction = never gonna work.

Not knocking ODogg for his age, but that's good advice...for a guy in his 20's. You might think differently if you're single and 39.

[youvalss]

Re: Need advice on a girl

There's one advantage to a chubby girl: if you marry her, you know she ain't gonna look worse when she gets old - she's already fat!

[koebner]

Re: Need advice on a girl

This thread is useless without pics.

[Rawdeal28]

Re: Need advice on a girl

This thread is useless without pics.

dont need one. no such thing as a pretty fat girl.

look O, leave her fat *** right where u found it. NEVER LOWER YOUR STANDARDS!

ever.

ur not attracted to her and u cant picture yourself banging her. find u someone u like and go after that. dont waste ur time with this one when u could be talking to someone who i actually pretty.

[Streets]

Re: Need advice on a girl

I guess I'm not as shallow as some of you dudes around here. I think physical attraction is important, but it isn't even close to the most important thing. I don't pick girls based on how they will look as my "arm candy." I want someone who I can spend time with and won't annoy the **** out of me constantly.

Why does it have to be a shallow thing? We're not saying go after looks exclusively. We're saying find someone that has a good personality AND you find physically attractive (at least somewhat). It's true that looks are more important to some people than to others, but I don't know of anyone who would say looks aren't important at all.

Again, if she's cool to hang with, but you don't find her attractive, that to me by definition, sounds like a friend.

This isn't a shallow thing, this is a standards thing. If looks are important to you (and they obviously are somewhat or you wouldn't be on here), then go after someone you find attractive and cool. It doesn't have to be either-or (annoying eye candy vs. a cool fugly chick).

[boomhauertjs]

Re: Need advice on a girl

Not to be a dick, but if you're 39 and posting this, she could very well be on OperationRomanceNovels posting "so there's this guy I saw at my high school reunion and I really like him.

OperationRomanceNovels!!! LOL!!!!!

I'm really curious to hear what happens. I'd say at least go out on a date to see if there's any chemistry.