Major problem....I need help

[Knight165]

Re: Major problem....I need help

You should always ask what the money is being used for, especially with an 18 year old kid. If it was a 37 year old friend you knew all your life, it's one thing but for an 18 year old living with his brother, 500 dollars is a solid amount for an upstart drug business.

If that's the kind of friends you're hanging with....WTF is the difference?
Get real.
Sorry....any friend I consider a good friend gets no questions asked.
I find no need to.
Maybe you should choose your friends more wisely.

M.K.
Knight165

[Aggies7]

Re: Major problem....I need help

Usually when a friend asks to borrow money I just ask how much. Id really rather not know why he needs money. Unless its a fellow Law Enforcement Officer then I ask just to make sure everything is OK.

[JBH3]

Re: Major problem....I need help

Everyone I guess has their views on abortion. If you're against it then you should tactfully let him know it goes against your beliefs.

If he doesn't understand that then maybe this is the deciding factor that tells you perhaps he's not "friend" material.

If he was to get the money from me best believe I would have to get my thoughts in...something along the lines of...Use a condom you idiot! Be more responsible, etc. etc.

[Cusefan]

Re: Major problem....I need help

Everyone is against abortion until they are put in a spot where they actually need one.

If it was me, i would get off my high horse and realize I have a friend in need who could use my help. He would have to be a very good friend for a loan of that stature though.

My Best advice to you is this (assuming you have 500 to spare and he is good for the money) Loan him the money, but at the same time advise him and his GF of their options, like Adoption. But even taking care of a baby before it is even born can be pricey, You should either not pay for anything, pay for an abortion, or pay for a healthy baby.

[Cebby]

Re: Major problem....I need help

If that's the kind of friends you're hanging with....WTF is the difference?
Get real.
Sorry....any friend I consider a good friend gets no questions asked.
I find no need to.
Maybe you should choose your friends more wisely.

Any 18 year old asking for five hundred is almost certainly up to no good, and it's a proven fact that 18 year olds are at the peak of the stupidity/opportunity scale.

[fishepa]

Re: Major problem....I need help

Maybe he shouldn't be having sex if he can't afford to have a child.

[MassNole]

Re: Major problem....I need help

Oh...and better the stain on your friendship than the stain on your concience and hands, eh?

Can't she find some clinic to the abortion for free?

Personally I think people should respect one's right to choose and would view it as you are truly helping a friend in need out, so I guess ask yourself is he a friend you would do anything for? Also think of the consequences, there still are back alley abortions in the US today, and it would be a shame to see him have to the resort to that. I guess I would loan him the money and just look the other way. But I don't think it would hurt to first tell him you are strongly against abortion and because of that you have reservations about loaning the money. If he has other options and values your friendship he may in fact go elsewhere and remove the burden from your shoulders. If he truly has no where else to go, I guess you think long and hard how much this friendship means and if possibly losing a friend is worth your beliefs.

[Pappy Knuckles]

Re: Major problem....I need help

I couldn't give my friend money for that. He'd be better off not telling me what it was for.

[MassNole]

Re: Major problem....I need help

If that's the kind of friends you're hanging with....WTF is the difference?
Get real.
Sorry....any friend I consider a good friend gets no questions asked.
I find no need to.
Maybe you should choose your friends more wisely.

M.K.
Knight165

Knight I certainly respect your convictions on friendship, but out of curiosity how many of the friends you would blindly loan money too are friends from the fire fighter brotherhood? In that I mean to imply nothing but that friendship is certainly stronger than most and should be respected, I'm just curious.

If $500 is a lot of money to you, I personally find nothing wrong with questioning where it might be going when at a young age. I've been ripped off by "friends" before, so maybe that has hardened me a bit.

[Misfit]

Re: Major problem....I need help

I don't buy cigarettes for people or loan them money to do so. My friends that smoke know this and are fine with it. Yes they're ultimately going to get them and continue to smoke, I just don't want to contribute to their addiction in any way. I see your situation as being essentially the same thing, though with more heated emotions behind it. Your friend might get pissed (actually, he probably will) when you turn him down for the loan but if he's your friend he'll get over it and respect your stance on abortion.

[RAZRr1275]

Re: Major problem....I need help

I wouldn't do it.

[Knight165]

Re: Major problem....I need help

Knight I certainly respect your convictions on friendship, but out of curiosity how many of the friends you would blindly loan money too are friends from the fire fighter brotherhood? In that I mean to imply nothing but that friendship is certainly stronger than most and should be respected, I'm just curious.

If $500 is a lot of money to you, I personally find nothing wrong with questioning where it might be going when at a young age. I've been ripped off by "friends" before, so maybe that has hardened me a bit.

Well, he did say good friend.
You can't count the guys in the firehouse....that would be unfair. Considering I would and literally do put my life into their hands.....I would find absolutely no reason to question them on just about anything. The guys in the firehouse are not just friends...they are my family. I would absolutely die for any one of them.(of course I'm going to do my best to not be in that situation!)
So we will just discount them in this equation.

Now....If I was missing 2 fingers on one hand....I could count on that hand how many people I would consider "good friends". Maybe that is where the problem lies in this....as when he said good friend....I thought he meant just that.
....and age has nothing to do with it IMO. Those guys I'm talking about....I've known and been friends with since...well...forever.
Perhaps that's the real problem....the term good friend being used by people here a little fast and loose...or by me all tight and tidy, expecting it to be reserved for those that you don't need to question.
Sorry for the confusion.
I guess I just read the OP wrong in this.

M.K.
Knight165

[Hassan Darkside]

Re: Major problem....I need help

I'd say just go with your gut. If this guy is really your friend, he should understand exactly where you're coming from. Not that you don't think that he's a good guy or worth your help, but that you feel morally wrong about his decision and don't want it on your conscience.

It's obviously not about money to you. So don't feel obligated that just because he's your friend that you have to support him at all costs. If he can't get over that, then maybe you should cut him loose.

[CMH]

Re: Major problem....I need help

If you feel that you'll be attached then that's how you'll feel. You already don't agree with the reasons and you seem sure that you don't like the idea of lending out the money so don't. No one here should be able to change your mind. This is a decision you have to make and it seems to me that you already made it.

If you want to be a good friend, make the decision you'll make and then give him 10 bucks to buy a pack of condoms.

[pfunk880]

Re: Major problem....I need help

Everyone is against abortion until they are put in a spot where they actually need one.

That's why you don't put yourself in a position where you need one... simple solution there.

Maybe he shouldn't be having sex if he can't afford to have a child.

Exactly.