Debt in a marriage - is it that bad?

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  • Matt10
    Hall Of Fame
    • Apr 2006
    • 16693

    #1

    Debt in a marriage - is it that bad?

    Hey guys, a question arose from the fiance and I last night after we told my parents our set date for the wedding. The date was originally set for a year from last Friday, but after speaking to them we changed it to 2 years from then to make sure we get near or out of debt completely.

    Back to the question though, "What is the difference between getting married with debt or not being married with debt?" - does it make that much of an impact?

    We both respect my parents, and it's a great goal to have to be debt free, but one can't help but ponder the thought.

    Would love your input.
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  • jeremym480
    Speak it into existence
    • Oct 2008
    • 18198

    #2
    Re: Debt in a marriage - is it that bad?

    I'm no Financial Expert or anything so to me, Debt is debt no matter if your married or not I mean, is there any real benefit in paying off debt when your single or married?? Not that I know of.

    If your in love and want to get married then don't let debt hold you back but, thats just my opinion. The biggest difference is if your looking to buy a home and what not, you'll want to clear up any outstanding debt before you can do that.
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    • JBH3
      Marvel's Finest
      • Jan 2007
      • 13506

      #3
      Re: Debt in a marriage - is it that bad?

      Originally posted by Matt10
      Hey guys, a question arose from the fiance and I last night after we told my parents our set date for the wedding. The date was originally set for a year from last Friday, but after speaking to them we changed it to 2 years from then to make sure we get near or out of debt completely.

      Back to the question though, "What is the difference between getting married with debt or not being married with debt?" - does it make that much of an impact?

      We both respect my parents, and it's a great goal to have to be debt free, but one can't help but ponder the thought.

      Would love your input.
      If you love each other, and can afford to get married now than get married now.

      Marriage fosters debt, at least in some capacity. I mean buying a house= debt. Children=debt. Women=debt .

      If you're debt is so bad that you can't afford a wedding, and paying off some of it is your only option than maybe get married at the justice of the peace...AND THEN...once you're married and able to claim that on your taxes and have paid off your debt to a goal set by you and your spouse then re-new your vows w/a more formal celebration with all those friends and family.

      There's benefits to being married which assist in getting rid of debt too.
      Originally posted by Edmund Burke
      All that is needed for the triumph of evil, is for good men to do nothing.

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      • ehh
        Hall Of Fame
        • Mar 2003
        • 28962

        #4
        Re: Debt in a marriage - is it that bad?

        I'd imagine that having children would be more affected by debt than getting married. If you're married you and your wife can still be financially smart and frugal to help shrink the debt. Once you have kids though........damn.
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        • stewaat

          #5
          Re: Debt in a marriage - is it that bad?

          Money problems = divorce

          Let's just be straight. It's one of the main reasons for tension in a relationship.

          Get the money right, then do it.

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          • nyisles16
            All Star
            • Apr 2003
            • 8317

            #6
            Re: Debt in a marriage - is it that bad?

            Originally posted by stewaat
            Money problems = divorce

            Let's just be straight. It's one of the main reasons for tension in a relationship.

            Get the money right, then do it.
            Perfectly said...

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            • DaveDQ
              13
              • Sep 2003
              • 7664

              #7
              Re: Debt in a marriage - is it that bad?

              It's a good idea to tackle this before marriage. The reason being is the goal of getting out of debt will require you and your fiance to discuss and determine what can be cut out of spending to help you eliminate that debt and head towards some type of savings. Just based on experience, determining what is essential in your home is a challenge that marriage accentuates. Mainly because you will not always agree. The item you hold as essential and worth the purchase, your fiance may not (and vice versa). That's where the challenge is, and that's why it would be beneficial to work it out as a couple before marriage. It will show you both a lot.

              Many couples end up in debt because they just don't want to confront each other with what is and what is not worthwhile spending, and that slowly turns into resentment towards each other which then may lead to a split.

              This will teach you both a valuable lesson about marriage, and that is that you are both called to sacrifice.
              Being kind, one to another, never disappoints.

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              • MassNole
                Banned
                • Mar 2006
                • 18848

                #8
                Re: Debt in a marriage - is it that bad?

                A well crafted prenuptial agreement would solve many of these concerns.

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                • Scottdau
                  Banned
                  • Feb 2003
                  • 32580

                  #9
                  Re: Debt in a marriage - is it that bad?

                  Originally posted by stewaat
                  Money problems = divorce

                  Let's just be straight. It's one of the main reasons for tension in a relationship.

                  Get the money right, then do it.
                  Yep, sad but true. Most of the time the other person starts to blame the other person for the debt.

                  Comment

                  • Flightwhite24
                    Hall Of Fame
                    • Jul 2005
                    • 12095

                    #10
                    Re: Debt in a marriage - is it that bad?

                    Originally posted by stewaat
                    Money problems = divorce

                    Let's just be straight. It's one of the main reasons for tension in a relationship.

                    Get the money right, then do it.
                    Good post!!! This sums up my advice to you. Good Luck and I wish you both the best.
                    The poster formerly know as "FLIGHTWHITE"

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                    • Cebby
                      Banned
                      • Apr 2005
                      • 22327

                      #11
                      Re: Debt in a marriage - is it that bad?

                      Originally posted by MassNole
                      A well crafted prenuptial agreement would solve many of these concerns.
                      As long as it's done by MassNole

                      If not, I think you may be looking to get a divorce. MassNole is willing to assist each side

                      :wink:

                      Comment

                      • JBH3
                        Marvel's Finest
                        • Jan 2007
                        • 13506

                        #12
                        Re: Debt in a marriage - is it that bad?

                        Originally posted by stewaat
                        Money problems = divorce

                        Let's just be straight. It's one of the main reasons for tension in a relationship.

                        Get the money right, then do it.
                        I agree. Transparency heading into a marriage over what the money problems are can identify problems w/o having to put off actually being married.

                        Originally posted by DaveDQ
                        It's a good idea to tackle this before marriage. The reason being is the goal of getting out of debt will require you and your fiance to discuss and determine what can be cut out of spending to help you eliminate that debt and head towards some type of savings. Just based on experience, determining what is essential in your home is a challenge that marriage accentuates. Mainly because you will not always agree. The item you hold as essential and worth the purchase, your fiance may not (and vice versa). That's where the challenge is, and that's why it would be beneficial to work it out as a couple before marriage. It will show you both a lot.

                        Many couples end up in debt because they just don't want to confront each other with what is and what is not worthwhile spending, and that slowly turns into resentment towards each other which then may lead to a split.

                        This will teach you both a valuable lesson about marriage, and that is that you are both called to sacrifice.
                        ...and the importance of COMMUNICATION.
                        Originally posted by Edmund Burke
                        All that is needed for the triumph of evil, is for good men to do nothing.

                        Comment

                        • Matt10
                          Hall Of Fame
                          • Apr 2006
                          • 16693

                          #13
                          Re: Debt in a marriage - is it that bad?

                          Man, OS brothers hard at work - thanks guys, I appreciate all your responses. I'm going to show my lady your posts, hope it eases her mind. Thanks again.
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                          • Whitesox
                            Closet pyromaniac
                            • Mar 2009
                            • 5287

                            #14
                            Re: Debt in a marriage - is it that bad?

                            Hi Matt's lady-friend!!

                            On topic, I agree with Stewaat here.
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                            • mgoblue
                              Go Wings!
                              • Jul 2002
                              • 25477

                              #15
                              Re: Debt in a marriage - is it that bad?

                              Originally posted by Matt10
                              Man, OS brothers hard at work - thanks guys, I appreciate all your responses. I'm going to show my lady your posts, hope it eases her mind. Thanks again.
                              I think it's helpful to go into marriage somewhat equal...if one of you has more debt than the other, and then things go to hell, that could possibly lead to resentment...
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