GIRLFRIEND QUESTION / TAKING A BREAK?

[OliDegu2008]

MY GIRLFRIEND AND I HAVE BEEN DATING FOR ABOUT 6 MONTHS NOW AND SHE HAS BEEN GETTING MORE AND MORE UNSTABLE WITH HER ATTITUDE. WE HAVE DECIDED TO TAKE A MONTH BREAK SO SHE CAN "FIND HERSELF." DOES THIS SEEM OKAY?
WE DO REALLY CARE FOR EACH OTHER, THAT IS NOT AN ISSUE, SHE JUST SAYS THAT SHE NEEDS TO DO THIS AND I WILL LET HER.

THANKS FOR THE THOUGHTS.

[FlyingFinn]

Re: GIRLFRIEND QUESTION / TAKING A BREAK?

First Turn CAPS LOCK off. It is like yelling in a forum. Second, my experience is that "taking a break" means she is interested in someone else and you guys are through.

[Instant C1a55ic]

Re: GIRLFRIEND QUESTION / TAKING A BREAK?

MY GIRLFRIEND AND I HAVE BEEN DATING FOR ABOUT 6 MONTHS NOW AND SHE HAS BEEN GETTING MORE AND MORE UNSTABLE WITH HER ATTITUDE. WE HAVE DECIDED TO TAKE A MONTH BREAK SO SHE CAN "FIND HERSELF." DOES THIS SEEM OKAY?
WE DO REALLY CARE FOR EACH OTHER, THAT IS NOT AN ISSUE, SHE JUST SAYS THAT SHE NEEDS TO DO THIS AND I WILL LET HER.

THANKS FOR THE THOUGHTS.

Like finn said, yikes with the caps lock.

Any who here is my 2 cents. To start off, it is never OK to take a "break" in a relationship no matter what the reason or in my eyes the "excuse" is. Its just like marriages and separations, its just never a good sign.

I myself have been in a situation where i was at an all night cosmic bowling thing (i was 15, so get off my back ) and ended up making out with this girl that was on a "break" from her boyfriend. Long story short, i got lead on for about 2 months by this girl who ended up back with her BF. However keep in mind that is a rare outcome.

Her attitude is a defense mechanism that basically is triggered when the other person finds someone that they are interested in. They use the attitude to turn you away in hopes that you will eventually get angry and annoyed by it, and just end everything or in your case make the "break" a permanent vacation. So to break it down she is trying to push you away so she can get closer to this new person without feeling guilty.

So for her to say she needs to "find herself" is a complete load of crap, and trust me when i say women always find the most ludicrous excuses to use to make it easier for us and not hurt our feelings.

So bro, i understand what you are going through...trust me...and to be honest with you i would just end it before it gets worse. You can ask her a thousand times if there is someone else and you always get the same answer..."no"....but trust me, she is testing the waters to see if there is someone better out there. Its human nature to explore other options thats why marriages fail. She is probably testing the waters to see if someone else is out there that is better than what she has, and if she finds it you can consider yourself history. If she doesnt find it, it really depends if shes an attention craver, cause people like that always need a BF/GF to satisfy there need for attention. If she is an attention craver, she will hold onto you till she finds something better and that's never a great scenario.

Lastly, if you really like this girl, show her you have a backbone. Dont let her push you around and call the shots. If a person senses they can push someone around, they will continue to do it. After awhile she will figure out you will sit on the sidelines waiting like a lost puppy for her to explore the waters looking for someone else, and if she doesn't find it she can always come back to you...thats NEVER a good thing.

I would give her an ultimatum...

1) Admit there is someone else, but dont push the issue with anger and jealiously, sound concerned and sympathetic

2) talk her out of the break, if she insists then there is a possibility of there being someone else.

3) If it comes to this, tell her that its either you or the break. Tell her if she insists on this break then you are gone. Doing this shows that you have a backbone, and refuse to get pushed around.

[DickDalewood]

Re: GIRLFRIEND QUESTION / TAKING A BREAK?

Honestly? After six months, and you're already taking a break? This thing is over man. And let's be real here, you've only been dating for a short time, there's no WAY you should already be having to put THIS much work into the relationship.

Furthermore, think about it: she gets to take a complete break from the relationship to "find herself", while you're just excepted to sit around and wait for her to realize she actually does want to be with you? C'mon dude, you're better than that. If it's a good relationship, you work these things out together, not through the use of "breaks" or "seeing other people".

There are tons of other women out there my friend, and I'm going to guess you're still fairly young... go find yourself someone who's right for you.

[jetercanoturn2]

Re: GIRLFRIEND QUESTION / TAKING A BREAK?

Honestly? After six months, and you're already taking a break? This thing is over man. And let's be real here, you've only been dating for a short time, there's no WAY you should already be having to put THIS much work into the relationship.

Furthermore, think about it: she gets to take a complete break from the relationship to "find herself", while you're just excepted to sit around and wait for her to realize she actually does want to be with you? C'mon dude, you're better than that. If it's a good relationship, you work these things out together, not through the use of "breaks" or "seeing other people".

There are tons of other women out there my friend, and I'm going to guess you're still fairly young... go find yourself someone who's right for you.

Haha well said, She pulls something like that, you have to man up and say screw that. Don't ever fall for that "I just need some time" bull****. If she really cares about you then she will want to stay together, if not... kick her to the curb and find a girl ten times hotter

[19]

Re: GIRLFRIEND QUESTION / TAKING A BREAK?

Like finn said, yikes with the caps lock.

Any who here is my 2 cents. To start off, it is never OK to take a "break" in a relationship no matter what the reason or in my eyes the "excuse" is. Its just like marriages and separations, its just never a good sign.

I myself have been in a situation where i was at an all night cosmic bowling thing (i was 15, so get off my back ) and ended up making out with this girl that was on a "break" from her boyfriend. Long story short, i got lead on for about 2 months by this girl who ended up back with her BF. However keep in mind that is a rare outcome.

Her attitude is a defense mechanism that basically is triggered when the other person finds someone that they are interested in. They use the attitude to turn you away in hopes that you will eventually get angry and annoyed by it, and just end everything or in your case make the "break" a permanent vacation. So to break it down she is trying to push you away so she can get closer to this new person without feeling guilty.

So for her to say she needs to "find herself" is a complete load of crap, and trust me when i say women always find the most ludicrous excuses to use to make it easier for us and not hurt our feelings.

So bro, i understand what you are going through...trust me...and to be honest with you i would just end it before it gets worse. You can ask her a thousand times if there is someone else and you always get the same answer..."no"....but trust me, she is testing the waters to see if there is someone better out there. Its human nature to explore other options thats why marriages fail. She is probably testing the waters to see if someone else is out there that is better than what she has, and if she finds it you can consider yourself history. If she doesnt find it, it really depends if shes an attention craver, cause people like that always need a BF/GF to satisfy there need for attention. If she is an attention craver, she will hold onto you till she finds something better and that's never a great scenario.

Lastly, if you really like this girl, show her you have a backbone. Dont let her push you around and call the shots. If a person senses they can push someone around, they will continue to do it. After awhile she will figure out you will sit on the sidelines waiting like a lost puppy for her to explore the waters looking for someone else, and if she doesn't find it she can always come back to you...thats NEVER a good thing.

I would give her an ultimatum...

1) Admit there is someone else, but dont push the issue with anger and jealiously, sound concerned and sympathetic

2) talk her out of the break, if she insists then there is a possibility of there being someone else.

3) If it comes to this, tell her that its either you or the break. Tell her if she insists on this break then you are gone. Doing this shows that you have a backbone, and refuse to get pushed around.

Listen to this man OP.

[jake44np]

Re: GIRLFRIEND QUESTION / TAKING A BREAK?

She likes someone else and wants to find out if it will work out with him before she totally ends it with you. Move on, and quit YELLING.

[ScoobySnax]

Re: GIRLFRIEND QUESTION / TAKING A BREAK?

Honestly? After six months, and you're already taking a break? This thing is over man. And let's be real here, you've only been dating for a short time, there's no WAY you should already be having to put THIS much work into the relationship.

Furthermore, think about it: she gets to take a complete break from the relationship to "find herself", while you're just excepted to sit around and wait for her to realize she actually does want to be with you? C'mon dude, you're better than that. If it's a good relationship, you work these things out together, not through the use of "breaks" or "seeing other people".

There are tons of other women out there my friend, and I'm going to guess you're still fairly young... go find yourself someone who's right for you.

LMAO! Gotta love DD. This is very true stuff though.

[Whitesox]

Re: GIRLFRIEND QUESTION / TAKING A BREAK?



Sorry, couldn't resist.

Anyway, I think it is over, breaks are never a good sign.

[MC Fatigue]

Re: GIRLFRIEND QUESTION / TAKING A BREAK?

Sounds like she wants to see if she can get someone better, and if she can't she'll settle for you.

Not to be offensive with that, but that's what breaks usually seem like to me.

[Gotmadskillzson]

Re: GIRLFRIEND QUESTION / TAKING A BREAK?

Like the others said......breaks = I want to try another guy to see if he can rock my world. So just move on. You win some, you lose some.

[Pared]

Re: GIRLFRIEND QUESTION / TAKING A BREAK?

Taking a break means someone else is breaking her off.

She wants a pounding from someone else. Just wants to put it in a nicer way.

[DickDalewood]

Re: GIRLFRIEND QUESTION / TAKING A BREAK?

^ Lol even more blunt than I was, but its true.

[youvalss]

Re: GIRLFRIEND QUESTION / TAKING A BREAK?

You don't take a break from a great releationship, no matter what the reason is. And it's probably not gonna get better after the break anyway, so...move on.

[Koolie G]

Re: GIRLFRIEND QUESTION / TAKING A BREAK?

Taking a break means someone else is breaking her off.

She wants a pounding from someone else.

CLASSIC!!!