Should there be privacy within a marriage?

[bigeastbumrush]

Re: Should there be privacy within a marriage?

Something's wrong with you if you need to know your girl's email passwords and the like.

No disrespect...but that's a female trait.

If your wife trusts you, she doesn't need to go through your phone or email.

Like someone mentioned, it's about control.

I have no doubt that most of you have strong relationships. But I HIGHLY doubt it's because you have each other's passwords.

Again...no offense.

I just think your trust and love for each other (which takes years to build) is just stronger than the average married couples trust levels. Has nothing to do with passwords and stuff.

I'm not married BTW...if it's not obvious.

[MBFranchise]

Re: Should there be privacy within a marriage?

Something's wrong with you if you need to know your girl's email passwords and the like.

No disrespect...but that's a female trait.

If your wife trusts you, she doesn't need to go through your phone or email.

Like someone mentioned, it's about control.

I have no doubt that most of you have strong relationships. But I HIGHLY doubt it's because you have each other's passwords.

Again...no offense.

I just think your trust and love for each other (which takes years to build) is just stronger than the average married couples trust levels. Has nothing to do with passwords and stuff.

I'm not married BTW...if it's not obvious.

Ehh, I'll have to slightly disagree with you there. When I got married, it wasn't like I NEED ALL OF YOUR PASSWORDS NOW!!!!! It was more whenever it came up as convenient or something like that. In those situations my wife and I don't have a problem sharing.

Each case will be different, and I can only speak for myself, but being open about everything helps more than it hurts, IMO.

And just because we know each other's passwords doesn't mean we use them. Just in case.

[bigeastbumrush]

Re: Should there be privacy within a marriage?

Ehh, I'll have to slightly disagree with you there. When I got married, it wasn't like I NEED ALL OF YOUR PASSWORDS NOW!!!!! It was more whenever it came up as convenient or something like that. In those situations my wife and I don't have a problem sharing.

Each case will be different, and I can only speak for myself, but being open about everything helps more than it hurts, IMO.

And just because we know each other's passwords doesn't mean we use them. Just in case.

I hear you.

My girl had to give me her email password once because she didn't have access to a computer and I could check her email for her on my Blackberry.

I forgot that password quickly as I didn't want the urge to even think of ever again going into her email even though she gave me permission that time.

I think it's the type of people you are not necessarily that you need those type of things to have a strong relationship.

What I'm hearing is that you guys relationships are so strong because you know everything. You THINK you know everything.

I'm saying...your relationships are strong because of other factors not because you feel you are so open with each other.

Just my point of view. Because some personalities just are not that open...no matter who it is. And it's up to the partner to accept them for that.

Some people get burned in life and never go on trusting anyone. That doesn't mean they can't have a happy, successful marriage.

I'm vocal about this because I'm thinking of popping the question.....

I always want to hear married dudes perspectives on things. They give me hope

[The GIGGAS]

Re: Should there be privacy within a marriage?

I only know my girlfriend's email password because she wanted to set up multiple Gmail accounts that could all be accessed from a single account.

[Hova57]

Re: Should there be privacy within a marriage?

i think your missing the point. its not about having passwords it about the trust that there is nothing to hide. there is nothing top secret the would jeopardize or cancel the relationship. those on here including myself said we gave that information because we trust and wanted too. as far as personalities go this isn't high school. marriage just can be cancelled because its summer time. it 24/7 365 good and bad. there are days your wife is gonna be a bitch and days your gonna be a dick. as long you can get through those times and continue to talk about anything . it will be cool. no marriage will be perfect nor is it easy it takes time and work. if you are not willing to put that time in then . you shouldn't get married. that's my two cents anywho

[WTF]

Re: Should there be privacy within a marriage?

My wife knows all of mine because I'll tell her to get on and check to see if such and such has emailed me, while I'm at work away from the computer. Do I care if I have hers? No, but likewise, she wrote them in a "notepad" as a "just in case", that we've only really used twice when she was applying for jobs.

[Rawdeal28]

Re: Should there be privacy within a marriage?

Well I can list several times I like privacy. First off - when I'm taking a dump, I'm a fan of the door closed and people not trying to talk to me. I like my privacy there.

I also like having some privacy at home sometimes to just relax and play a game or do some studying. It sure can suck having people around you all the time and never having a minute to yourself.

I have my own bank account and one benefit is I can buy my wife something without her seeing every charge that goes through...

etc, etc, etc.

Privacy isn't just a verbal thing, it can be a physical thing. It's not just about talking and sharing every little thing, it's also about having time to yourself and not having someone around you all the time.

Everyone needs some privacy in their lives; and I'd say anyone saying they don't is a liar to either others or to themselves.

FINALLY, someone gets it.

im with u bro

[Pared]

Re: Should there be privacy within a marriage?

...is completely different than what is being insinuated here.

This is part of the problem - as nothing is being insinuated here.

It's an open ended question and it was for a reason. Interesting to see everyone sway this question towards infidelity almost immediately.

[Cyros]

Re: Should there be privacy within a marriage?

This is part of the problem - as nothing is being insinuated here.

It's an open ended question and it was for a reason. Interesting to see everyone sway this question towards infidelity almost immediately.

[Phobia]

Re: Should there be privacy within a marriage?

This is part of the problem - as nothing is being insinuated here.

It's an open ended question and it was for a reason. Interesting to see everyone sway this question towards infidelity almost immediately.

yea, YOUR question was not insinuating anything. I was commenting on the comments people were making like you said about "infidelity". I knew your question was open ended, but most were taking it directly to "screwing around" on their wife.

Meaning I was in agreement that privacy should be in a relationship to a degree and is health like someone said to have your "me" time and what not. I think to many were turning the privacy thing into "hiding" things from your wife. Privacy ranges from things that could cause issues that don't need mentioning cause it does nothing but cause issues to something as simple as wanting to go and read a book alone.

[ANDROMADA 1]

Re: Should there be privacy within a marriage?

I don't think that there should be. Case in point, ex sent me pictures (I did not ask for them, lol), and I knew that if I didn't tell my wife, and she found out, it would kill her. I think that privacy within a marriage is just asking for a problem.

My wife & I are open about everything, and I wouldnt' have it any other way.

Do you need to write a written report to your wife of your day to day activity? No, but things that you feel like you "need to keep private" are probably things that wouldn't necessarily help promote a healthy relationship.

Just my opinion.

Does that include "Adult" Rated Media? Begins with a P and ends with an o......Some things should Never, ever be repeated to Anyone. Some secrets are good. Where would Coca Cola be if the gave up their "secret" recipe, or many other Corporate Giants, including our Govt. Sometimes it is for the best intrest of Everyone involved. I dont check, Email, Cells phones or any of that. Either you chose the right woman or you didnt is my philosophy. Also, having a military background everything to me is on a need to know basis. Co-mingling funds is a bad idea too for more reasons than the scope of this thread, concerning privacy, but to each his or her own.

[Phobia]

Re: Should there be privacy within a marriage?

Does that include "Adult" Rated Media? Begins with a P and ends with an o......Some things should Never, ever be repeated to Anyone. Some secrets are good. Where would Coca Cola be if the gave up their "secret" recipe, or many other Corporate Giants, including our Govt. Sometimes it is for the best intrest of Everyone involved. I dont check, Email, Cells phones or any of that. Either you chose the right woman or you didnt is my philosophy. Also, having a military background everything to me is on a need to know basis. Co-mingling funds is a bad idea too for more reasons than the scope of this thread, concerning privacy, but to each his or her own.

Andro sounds like me and you on the same page with this!!

Trust is just as important.

[Pared]

Re: Should there be privacy within a marriage?

I actually expected there to be a bigger discussion of trust in this thread.

What I'm seeing is people associating trust with, "having every possible password and log of what the other does."

To be honest, that could be the exact opposite of trust in some cases.

[Hova57]

Re: Should there be privacy within a marriage?

I actually expected there to be a bigger discussion of trust in this thread.

What I'm seeing is people associating trust with, "having every possible password and log of what the other does."

To be honest, that could be the exact opposite of trust in some cases.

exactly i believe the point of the original post was actually about unwanted pics he got from the ex. he didn't tell his wife cause it would cause problems. in his point i don't think its a trust problem. Exes mess everything up especially if they were in the picture when the wife got together. I think people think trust people automatically gravitate to all things computer.

as for my relationship when it comes to pr0n. she knows she doesn't have an issue with it. I tell her when i see something funny. but its not like i tell when and how often i watch it. she don't want to know , but if she asked me i would tell her. but that's my relationship all are different and aren't going to be like mine. I understand and don't knock anyone for how there relationship is, except the communication part of it. that's one part of any relationship that has to be in working order at all time.

[mgoblue]

Re: Should there be privacy within a marriage?

I actually expected there to be a bigger discussion of trust in this thread.

What I'm seeing is people associating trust with, "having every possible password and log of what the other does."

To be honest, that could be the exact opposite of trust in some cases.

The trust aspect is lost if you're actually using the passwords to check up on your spouse...

There is trust, and I think just offering the passwords is just more proof that the trust is there and there's nothing to be concerned about.

Kinda like Pac and the drug testing in boxing, if someone was adamantly against sharing a password, it could make someone question that trust even if it's not warranted...