Just recieved the worst possible news...

[pfunk880]

Re: Just recieved the worst possible news...

Do what you feel is right.

Anyone telling you to step up and be the dad is wrong. Anyone telling you to just stay out of its life is wrong.

Do what works for you in your life; and what you're ready to deal with in the future. Some people grow up with both parents, some grow up with one, some grow up with none. All can be perfectly productive, well balanced people in the end.

However - making sure you at least pull your end of the financial responsibility is important; assuming the kid isn't put up for adoption and it is actually yours, or that it's not you know what'd.

If you were talking to the mother of an unplanned child, would this advice apply too?

[Gibbz]

Re: Just recieved the worst possible news...

*goes to buy a pack of condoms*

What do you need a whole pack for? Not like you're gonna be needing them.

Spoiler

I keed, I keed.

[CWSapp757]

Re: Just recieved the worst possible news...

I know it must suck man. I'm sure almost all of us have had a pregnancy scare and often times it is with someone you know you would not want to have a child with. But what's done is done. Whether you hate that chic's guts she is still going to be the mother of YOUR child.

I work with at risk youth and so many of them have issues that are amplified by the fact that no father figure is present. I know it sucks my dude, but just step up to the plate. I'm sure several years from now you'll look back and be happy you did.

[endurancegt]

Re: Just recieved the worst possible news...

WHaaaaaa?? You gotta be kidding dude.

You have to be able to be the father and provider, not just want to be the father. I believe that is what the poster was going for. Unplanned pregnancies happen every day even with condoms and birth control available; many times young couples make the wrong decision simply because they didn't take the time to think about it. Giving up a baby for adoption isn't the worst thing in the world, and sometimes for the best.

I will say, however, that having a mother not want a father in a child's life simply because she's bitter about a relationship is pretty selfish and immature. I hope the best for you bud.

[areobee401]

Re: Just recieved the worst possible news...

You have to be able to be the father and provider, not just want to be the father. I believe that is what the poster was going for. Unplanned pregnancies happen every day even with condoms and birth control available; many times young couples make the wrong decision simply because they didn't take the time to think about it. Giving up a baby for adoption isn't the worst thing in the world, and sometimes for the best.

I will say, however, that having a mother not want a father in a child's life simply because she's bitter about a relationship is pretty selfish and immature. I hope the best for you bud.

Thats the whole point here. Im willing to let the past be the past and do whats right for the child. The child is bigger then any issue we may have with each other.

We did meet last night and have a "good" talk. But I left knowing that all that can change any minute.

[MC Fatigue]

Re: Just recieved the worst possible news...

If you were talking to the mother of an unplanned child, would this advice apply too?

Yes.

It's called adoption or abortion.

I was adopted. I have no idea who my parents are/were. I was raised by a single father who adopted me.

There's no problem with giving up a child if you're unwilling to raise it.

Anyone telling the guy he must raise the child and that it would be selfish not to doesn't know what they're talking about. Anyone saying the mother has to do the same doesn't know what they're talking about. **** happens, and you have to do what you have to do at the point in your life. Sometimes raising the child isn't the right option for either parent. There's nothing wrong with giving up a child for your and their best interests.

[Buckeyes_Doc]

Re: Just recieved the worst possible news...

Yes.

It's called adoption or abortion.

I was adopted. I have no idea who my parents are/were. I was raised by a single father who adopted me.

There's no problem with giving up a child if you're unwilling to raise it.

Anyone telling the guy he must raise the child and that it would be selfish not to doesn't know what they're talking about. Anyone saying the mother has to do the same doesn't know what they're talking about. **** happens, and you have to do what you have to do at the point in your life. Sometimes raising the child isn't the right option for either parent. There's nothing wrong with giving up a child for your and their best interests.

Completely agree. There are a lot of good people out there who can't have a baby and adoption gives them that. Every child deserves the best possible parents and if their biological parents were unfit or not ready to raise a kid what is wrong with adoption.

[GAMEC0CK2002]

Re: Just recieved the worst possible news...

Completely agree. There are a lot of good people out there who can't have a baby and adoption gives them that. Every child deserves the best possible parents and if their biological parents were unfit or not ready to raise a kid what is wrong with adoption.

Adoption shouldn't be a form of birth control.

So basically it's okay to be Wilt. Just tell the baby mama it doesn't suit you to be apart of the baby's life that you helped create.

[JBH3]

Re: Just recieved the worst possible news...

Are you going to be a daddy, or are you going to be a guy who pays child support each month and never really bothers with the kid?

Big difference.

Very big.

Can people please get over themselves? The child is part you, part her. Unless you're clearly unfit, keeping a child away from one of its parents should be a crime. Why can't people just be civil for the sake of the child? No, they only want to think about their own damn selves... it's such a shame.

Planned or not, this is a huge responsibility for you now. When you get this news, you know it's time that you become a man if you haven't already. You're responsible for a whole other life now and that's something that should be taken extremely seriously.

Good luck to you and your future child. I wish you all the best.

Good post.

I'm going to be a daddy.

Were you not aware of the consequences of unprotected sex? Let's see has unproctected sex, w/o knowledge that partner is/is not on birth control, sleeps w/ ex, ex is in-turn crazy, - as if this wasn't known because she is an ex.

Hmmmm....special.

[MC Fatigue]

Re: Just recieved the worst possible news...

Adoption shouldn't be a form of birth control.

And no one said it should be.

[Buckeyes_Doc]

Re: Just recieved the worst possible news...

Adoption shouldn't be a form of birth control.

So basically it's okay to be Wilt. Just tell the baby mama it doesn't suit you to be apart of the baby's life that you helped create.

No one is suggesting that. But in this situation or in a situation where it is going to be rocky guess who will suffer? The baby. If the parents aren't ready I see nothing wrong with giving the baby to parents who would love to have a child.

This isn't like saying I dont want a baby and completely walking out or leaving the baby on a front porch. Adoption can be a great thing for the baby and the people who can put the baby in a better environment then you can.

No one is saying walk out of the babys life. But if you and the mother can agree what is best for the baby and adoption is the answer then where is the problem with that?

[z Revis]

Re: Just recieved the worst possible news...

I have no problem with adoption. In these situations, the child is always most important. If you think the kid will be better suited being adopted, go for it. You're giving the kid a better life than you can give him/her. What's wrong with that?

[GAMEC0CK2002]

Re: Just recieved the worst possible news...

I have no problem with adoption. In these situations, the child is always most important. If you think the kid will be better suited being adopted, go for it. You're giving the kid a better life than you can give him/her. What's wrong with that?

None whatsoever. Did have a problem with the other poster's tone that made it seem like the kid is a secondary (or lesser) priority. If it's the least bit inconvient for you--abort or adopt.

How many people would still have their kids if it had to be a perfect or ideal setting?

[Rawdeal28]

Re: Just recieved the worst possible news...

Yes.

It's called adoption or abortion.

I was adopted. I have no idea who my parents are/were. I was raised by a single father who adopted me.

There's no problem with giving up a child if you're unwilling to raise it.

Anyone telling the guy he must raise the child and that it would be selfish not to doesn't know what they're talking about. Anyone saying the mother has to do the same doesn't know what they're talking about. **** happens, and you have to do what you have to do at the point in your life. Sometimes raising the child isn't the right option for either parent. There's nothing wrong with giving up a child for your and their best interests.

completely agree.

So basically it's okay to be Wilt. Just tell the baby mama it doesn't suit you to be apart of the baby's life that you helped create.

yup.


i dont mean to rude to the thread creator, but this is what u get for not wearing a condomn. i am so sick and tired of the continued foolishness by young men and women who continue to have unprotected sex. what is so hard about wearing a condom? a 3 pack from the gas station costs a little over 3 dollars! damn man. smh.

just do whats best for your child and you. good luck.

How many people would still have their kids if it had to be a perfect or ideal setting?

the way it should be, a lot less!

[dopeboy206]

Re: Just recieved the worst possible news...

No im not involved with anyone else. She is telling me she will not allow me to have any contact with the child.

I have a child with the wrong women myself. The main thing is to man up and be there for your child.