Does this make me shallow?

[GAMEC0CK2002]

Re: Does this make me shallow?

My personal opinion:

In a perfect relationship a man would be completely attracted to both her mental and physical aspects.

But how many relationships are absolutely perfect?

Everyone has flaws somewhere, I'd much rather those flaws be on the physical side, but there are others would prefer the converse. You decide which of these archetypes you fall into.

Good summary.

To the OP: Don't think you're shallow in your feelings--you're just being honest. Keep in mind, looks can only go so far in a relationship. No matter how hot a woman is, you'll eventually get used to it. Just like watching tv in HD--it becomes the standard.

Always makes me wonder why Halle Berry (i consider one of the most beautiful women ever) has been divorced.

[mgoblue]

Re: Does this make me shallow?

I don't think you can turn a 1 into a 10 regardless of how well you connect, but if a chick is a 6 on looks and she turns out to be a 10+ in the personality department, that 6 might be able to jump to a 7 or 8 overall. Just as a chick that is an absolute stunner of a 10, who turns out to be just a shallow, self centered biatch, can drop down quite a bit once you get to know her. She can turn from someone you used to admire and drool over to someone you can't stand to look at.

I think someones appeal can grow/shrink a bit in either direction, but you're never going to look at someone who is just fugly and eventually lust for them (assuming they don't make drastic changes).

Exactly! You're right, I couldn't date a 10 who was a total biatch or airhead either. Personality does definitely override looks, but you still need that basic attraction.

[Husker_OS]

Re: Does this make me shallow?

Propinquity effect. Generally speaking, the more you see someone, the more you begin to like them.



I'd be willing to bet if you go on a few dates with this girl, you'll end up wanting a relationship with her. I had a similiar situation last Fall. This girl was into me but I wasn't that into her. Even the night we exchanged numbers, I wasn't looking for anything out of it. But we hung out a few times after that and boom, were dating.


If you like being around her enough in the beginning to go on a date, eventually things will heat up. It's human nature to grow fond of the people we see the most. Whether it be our friends, family, or women.

[GAMEC0CK2002]

Re: Does this make me shallow?

Propinquity effect. Generally speaking, the more you see someone, the more you begin to like them.



I'd be willing to bet if you go on a few dates with this girl, you'll end up wanting a relationship with her. I had a similiar situation last Fall. This girl was into me but I wasn't that into her. Even the night we exchanged numbers, I wasn't looking for anything out of it. But we hung out a few times after that and boom, were dating.

Same here. Been together ever since and that was 4 years ago. Couldn't imagine life without her.

[DickDalewood]

Re: Does this make me shallow?

Just remember, personality fades, looks last forever.

[ghm125]

Re: Does this make me shallow?

shallow?......dont think so...but you should give it a few more dates with her,unless your shallow

[ScoobySnax]

Re: Does this make me shallow?

Just remember, personality fades, looks last forever.

LOL

[Nivek]

Re: Does this make me shallow?

Thanks for the advice fellas.

I met up with her for drinks and we saw an independent music showcase. I like her vibe, I like her style...but I just don't want to **** her. She's doesn't have the body type I'm into and her face just doesn't get me off. After the date I told her that I wasn't feeling anything more then a friendship. Needless to say she was pretty disappointed. She got a little defensive by saying "I don't understand, you gave me YOUR number and I called you...do you normally do this to girls you don't want to ****?" I defused her hostility and she calmed down. She sent me a text message a few minutes ago to apologize for her behavior and asked to see me again this weekend. Haven't responded back yet.

I could bite the bullet and go see her again - which would almost surely guarantee me some ***. Or I could move on...still not sure which move is best. Like others have said, the ***** might be off the wall.

If I have to compare her to a chick in hollywood, I would say she has the body and looks of Mena Suvari. Just not into those types of females.

[DickDalewood]

Re: Does this make me shallow?

Lol, dude, Mena Suvari has a pretty bangin' body. What the heck is your type? I'm assuming something with a little more... "meat" on the bones?

I mean... c'mon:

[stewaat]

Re: Does this make me shallow?

Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat just happened in here?

PM me a pic of said girl if you can. We're the Atmosphere groupies you know I'm a person to confide in.

[Nivek]

Re: Does this make me shallow?

LOL, that is a nice glamourshot of Mena.

I'm referring to THIS Mena, although I didn't know she had a nice bubble like that:


I never once said she was ugly. I just don't get off to plain janes with no curves. I like my women with a little flavor. I've always loved the olive to dark skin females. For Example, Britanny Daily

I called her and told her we're meeting up at my crib on sat. We'll see were this goes, but I love the fact that ball is in her court and she really wants to move the ball.

I might have to do this even with the girls I really like.

[FlyingFinn]

Re: Does this make me shallow?

I like my girls super model thin so Mena is right up my alley.

[mkharsh33]

Re: Does this make me shallow?

If I were you I'd put myself in her shoes for a moment and consider her perspective...

...What if you were her, and really into the guy (that being the real you). Okay, this will probably get confusing...

But could you see how she could be hurt? I've been married for 12 years (celebrated our anniversary last week). My wife is pretty, but her body is not a "knockout" (not fat - she weigh's 110 and I weigh 220 and am a foot taller than her). But I LOVE her personality and I think the older she gets the more beautiful she is (sounds strange, but some women age real well and my wife is "hotter" now at 37 than when we first met). We also have 4 kids, 2 mini-vans and a HUGE mortgage together - but we're living a life together that we love and wouldn't trade for anything...

I guess it all comes down to where you are in life at the moment, what you want the next steps to be (the timing of them) and what you want long-term... I do admire you for telling her that you're interested in friendship, because a lot of people don't have the courage to be tactfully honest.

But you're going to have to ask yourself what you want out of this, and if you see it going nowhere, don't hurt her (anymore than already done). I know that doesn't sound fair, and I'm not piling on you (because some women just want to get married and they're so focused on that they oftentimes forget the person standing in front of them - you're just a means to their end)...

If I were you I'd probably just break it off because if you're not attracted to her, odds are pretty good that won't change...

But if you're looking for a perfect 10 body but also want to infuse her personality into your supermodel dream-girl, then yeah, I'd say you're shallow...

Just my .02

[DickDalewood]

Re: Does this make me shallow?

LOL, that is a nice glamourshot of Mena.

I'm referring to THIS Mena, although I didn't know she had a nice bubble like that:


I never once said she was ugly. I just don't get off to plain janes with no curves. I like my women with a little flavor. I've always loved the olive to dark skin females. For Example, Britanny Daily

I called her and told her we're meeting up at my crib on sat. We'll see were this goes, but I love the fact that ball is in her court and she really wants to move the ball.

I might have to do this even with the girls I really like.

Lol, come on now, you followed my glamour shot with one of your own for Brittany Daily (sexy though, yes). I still think Mena is hot in the pic you posted, and she definitely has a nice "bubble" (I like that term by the way).

In all seriousness though, since I'm just giving you crap anyway, if you're not attracted to her you're not attracted to her, we all have differing tastes. If you want to do the dude the and go back out with the girl for some easy tail, so be it... we've all done it. Just be careful man, if she gets too attached some real feelings could start getting hurt. And be warned, you could tango and wake up the next morning and find yourself being the one who is now attached... stuff can sneak up on you like that sometimes

[jeremym480]

Re: Does this make me shallow?

I might have to do this even with the girls I really like.

Girls eat that "he who cares the least" ish up. They would much rather pursue a guy like you (who presents a challenge) than some sniveling, groveling guy who kisses her *** and puts that ***** on a pedestal. All I can say now is your going to have a hell of a time getting rid of this girl especially if you stick her.

Disclaimer: I'm not that I'm telling you not to hit it, I'm just saying be prepared for some repercussions.