Double standards?

[NDAlum]

I have one which irritates me. I'll use my girlfriend for example. She's 5-9 and weighs about 120. She looks great and works out and eat pretty healthy.

She goes into work and all her co-workers say she needs to gain weight. She finds it offensive and does not appreciate them dropping off baked goods to her desk every day.

On the other hand if she was 5-9 220 nobody would say a word to her. You can't tell somedody they need to lose weight because you'll hurt their feelings. You can't drop off a healthy snack to them because that would be viewed as a jab towards their overweight status.

Why the double standard?

[EnigmaNemesis]

Re: Double standards?

Simple explanation:

Because people in general can be hypocrites in one way or another.

[youvalss]

Re: Double standards?

Why would you/she even care what people say? But hey, if she wants, she can answer back:

"And to look (fat) like you? No thanks!".

Problem solved!

[sb24]

Re: Double standards?

You mean like when a cop has illegal window tint on his car? Seriously though you did give me a damn legit reason for it.

Im skinny and I get ragged on all the time for my weight so I understand what you mean. Our country is just plain full of double standards coming from all aspects of life. Sometimes they are fully legit, sometimes they are as corrupt as the come. This is generally why I am not a people person. I find many times in life that a person doesnt act in a consistent manner with beliefs they claim to live by.

[Scottdau]

5'9'' 120. Is pretty skinny. People don't need to leave food on her desk though. My wife was about 110 and people said she was skinny, but she is only five four. She is now up to 120. Skinny people have always had that double standard. It is what it is.

[Piderman]

Re: Double standards?

5'9'' 120. Is pretty skinny. People don't need to leave food on her desk though. My wife was about 110 and people said she was skinny, but she is only five four. She is now up to 120. Skinny people have always had that double standard. It is what it is.

That sounds better. Just helping you out via your sig .

[Scottdau]

That sounds better. Just helping you out via your sig .

Yeah. Thanks.

[NDAlum]

Re: Double standards?

Why would you/she even care what people say? But hey, if she wants, she can answer back:

"And to look (fat) like you? No thanks!".

Problem solved!

Good point. I typically follow the "who cares" better than my girlfriend. The issue is simply: why is it ok to say you're skinny but not alright to say you're fat?

So if I go around calling fat people fat it should be ok, right? Hey buddy you need to lose some weight I hear ABC Gym is having a great deal. Hey bud I saw you eat a big mac for lunch do you really need those doritos right now?

I might be fired for that

[Whitesox]

Re: Double standards?

I'm a proponent of the "who cares" approach. Your co-workers think you're too slim, who cares? Why even respond? Is a simple "Thank you for the offer, but I'm perfectly comfortable with my body and, quite frankly, it is none of your business." not good enough?

I find it hard to believe that if she asked her co-workers to stop doing things like leaving baked goods on her desk every day they would ignore her and continue to do so.

[EnigmaNemesis]

Re: Double standards?

I'm a proponent of the "who cares" approach. Your co-workers think you're too slim, who cares? Why even respond? Is a simple "Thank you for the offer, but I'm perfectly comfortable with my body and, quite frankly, it is none of your business." not good enough?

I find it hard to believe that if she asked her co-workers to stop doing things like leaving baked goods on her desk every day they would ignore her and continue to do so.

I think he understands this. What I think he is looking for is why do we have such double standards. Which he is 100% correct about.

[Whitesox]

Re: Double standards?

I think he understands this. What I think he is looking for is why do we have such double standards. Which he is 100% correct about.

That will teach me to read every post in a thread thoroughly before responding. Regardless, I still stand by the notion that if she asked them to stop, they would.

As for the question of why do they exist, I have no idea.

[youvalss]

Re: Double standards?

Though I'm not a woman, and obviously less sensitive to these remarks, I've had the same stuff most of my life. I'm 6'2", 140 (yeah, it's possible) and been laughed at thousands of times - by guys, girls...whoever.

At some point I just didn't care about it. I even started laughing about it myself. So, sometimes I'd be the one to tell the joke. Not a big deal, I've heard it all.

But then again, as a woman she's probably more sensitive to her look / what other think about it.

Yeah, skinny people are laughed at in their face, while fat people are laughed at behind their back. Does it matter? Not really. Believe me, it's better to be skinny. As long as she's healty and doesn't have any psychological issues with her look, it's all good.

Not much you can do about this double standard. Just another glitch we, human beings, have. Too bad there's not a patch that can fix people. But then again, the wishlist would be endless, so the patch would never be released.

[NDAlum]

Re: Double standards?

The issue is why it is ok to tell people they need to gain weight and to tell an overweight person to lose weight it's considered rude.

She's fine psychologically but annoyed. She's a teacher and she says that the workplace is like a neighborhood bakery.

[Brandwin]

I think it's easier to take if someone says you're too skinny instead of too fat.

[CMH]

Re: Double standards?

Yes, like Brandon said, there's a double standard because of comfort.

When someone is thin and has a high metabolism, most people feel that individual is very lucky. People with high metabolisms (myself included) realize their luck, though, many do want to gain weight.

It's easier to tell someone: "you need to add weight" and not feel as if you're insulting that person. It's like saying to a pretty person: "Stop being so pretty!" By acknowledging their lack of weight, you are sort of complimenting them.

Now someone that is overweight faces a tougher struggle. People are ridiculed for being fat, overweight, obese, etc. Acknowledging their weight is almost never a compliment and adding to that is the concern with feelings. Because they've been poked at for so long, overweight people can be more sensitive to their weight than a skinnier person.

This isn't true all the time for either side of the spectrum, but it definitely stands for the majority of the folks.