ODogg's Love Life Thread

[aholbert32]

Re: ODogg's Love Life Thread

Lol, dude, I'm engaged to a girl I've dated for four years. Three of those years were long distance, not to mention the pure fact that she's attractive... please don't preach about trust. Outside of a military relationship, there isn't a couple out there that has had to build their foundation solely on trust more than my fiancée and I have.

Like I've already said, it has nothing to do with cheating, at least for me, it's simply a matter of it not being appropriate. If you want to let your chic hang out solo with other dudes, and she's ok with you doing the same thing with girls, then knock yourself out. But, don't use the attitude that you trust each other more. Some of us are simply of the mindset that if we want a close relationship of the opposite sex, that's what our significant others are for.

"Appropriate" is a cop out. WTF does that mean? Why isnt it appropriate if you dont think anything could potentially happen?

I didnt know that when you got married or in a serious relationship, you cant have a close FRIENDSHIP with someone of the opposite sex? My girlfriend is one of my best friends in the world but guess what? I have two other female friends who I count as two of my best friends and I've known them for over a decade. Under your rule, I cant go to lunch or dinner with my friends without my girl present. How does that make any sense?

I'll drop it because I always find people discussing their relationships on OS kinda ridiculous but I'm dumbfounded that you are trying to spin this as if it has nothing to do with having a fear that your girl may cheat on you.

[Scottdau]

Re: ODogg's Love Life Thread

Ask some older people if it is a wise decision if you should have close friends that are women? If they say it is OK then the decision is up to you. But in my humble opinion it is not a wise move. In fact forget asking some one older if you both are cool with that then that is OK. Every relationship is different. I have seen a lot of times when a guy is having a problem with his Gf/wife go talk to his friends about it. If it is a girl that is a friend sometimes that is playing with fire.

[DickDalewood]

Re: ODogg's Love Life Thread

"Appropriate" is a cop out. WTF does that mean? Why isnt it appropriate if you dont think anything could potentially happen?

I didnt know that when you got married or in a serious relationship, you cant have a close FRIENDSHIP with someone of the opposite sex? My girlfriend is one of my best friends in the world but guess what? I have two other female friends who I count as two of my best friends and I've known them for over a decade. Under your rule, I cant go to lunch or dinner with my friends without my girl present. How does that make any sense?

I'll drop it because I always find people discussing their relationships on OS kinda ridiculous but I'm dumbfounded that you are trying to spin this as if it has nothing to do with having a fear that your girl may cheat on you.

Lol, spin it how you want, but nothing here is a copout. You may not understand where I'm coming from, which is fine, but trying to constantly spin it around, and find hidden meaning in what I'm saying is ridiculous.

Clearly you aren't understanding my point of view, so it is what it is.

[aholbert32]

Re: ODogg's Love Life Thread

Ask some older people if it is a wise decision if you should have close friends that are women? If they say it is OK then the decision is up to you. But in my humble opinion it is not a wise move. In fact forget asking some one older if you both are cool with that then that is OK. Every relationship is different. I have seen a lot of times when a guy is having a problem with his Gf/wife go talk to his friends about it. If it is a girl that is a friend sometimes that is playing with fire.

First, I'm 33 years old. I think I have enough life experience not to have to ask an older person what he thinks about a situation. Second, without asking I have my uncle and my male best friend. Both of them are married (married 30 and 7 yrs) and both have females who they count as one of their best friends. Their wives know their friends (one of them was even in one of the weddings) and my uncle and friend hang out with their female best friends without their wives at times. Its not a big deal.

You are right about every relationship being different but I disagree that you are "playing with fire" if I talk to a female friend about a relationship. I know if I talk to my male best friends about an issue with my relationship, 9 times out of 10 they are going to agree with me because they are coming from the same male perspective. If I ask my female friends, they are more likely going to help me understand my girls side of the argument because they can see it from her perspective.

Sure I could have some conniving female friend that wants to destroy my relationship but I think the fact that I've been cool with these women for over a decade and they've seen me in multiple realtionships during that time rules it out. I know I'm in the minority on this one but I've just never understood the other side of that and I would be damned if I would cut off friends of mine just because my girl uses vague reasons like its "inappropriate" or makes me "uncomfortable". I have loyalty to my girl and loyalty to all my friends no matter the gender.

[Scottdau]

Re: ODogg's Love Life Thread

See you are looking at it wrong. Has nothing to do with a conniver person. It has to do with the fact that when you open up to the opposite sex about problems people tend to develops these savior type feelings. Not all the time, but a lot of affairs started with co workers talking about their problems or even good friends talking about their problems. I am not saying that will happen to every one. But you would be shock at the numbers of affairs that happen, because of those friend ships. the sad thing is it is not real feelings it is some what fake feelings, because they confront each other during a rough time in their life. That is why I say most people are playing with fire. But again this is only my experience when inwas a pastor and counsel marriage that were going through affairs. So that is why I said every relationship is different. I had a good friend's wife leave him, because she ran off with her male friend. The funny thing is they are not together anymore either and they aren't even friends anymore. It was just fake feelings they felt because they share some problems with each other about their spouses.

[DickDalewood]

Re: ODogg's Love Life Thread

Yah, I don't even really disagree with you feeling that way honestly aholbert, I just don't feel the same... if that makes sense. I think you and your situation are really more the exception rather than the rule. Like I said, I have good girl friends too, and Kelsey has good guy friends, and we each talk to them on the phone once in a while, but we no longer hang out with them one on one... Only in group or couple situations. It's just how we both feel about it and what we think is the right/appropriate thing to do.

It is what it is I suppose.

[jeremym480]

If one of my female friends from high school came through town I doubt my girlfriend would have a problem with us grabbing lunch. However, outside of that I actually have no desire to hang out with my female friends that I see on a regular basis.

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[Sanchez_Mareno]

Re: ODogg's Love Life Thread

Im 'not allowed' female friends. Just isn't worth the hassle.

[Dog]

Re: ODogg's Love Life Thread

"Appropriate" is a cop out. WTF does that mean? Why isnt it appropriate if you dont think anything could potentially happen?

I didnt know that when you got married or in a serious relationship, you cant have a close FRIENDSHIP with someone of the opposite sex? My girlfriend is one of my best friends in the world but guess what? I have two other female friends who I count as two of my best friends and I've known them for over a decade. Under your rule, I cant go to lunch or dinner with my friends without my girl present. How does that make any sense?

I'll drop it because I always find people discussing their relationships on OS kinda ridiculous but I'm dumbfounded that you are trying to spin this as if it has nothing to do with having a fear that your girl may cheat on you.

So it isn't the least bit possible that people and relationships are different?

Also, since when was YOUR relationship so much better than other peoples'?

EDT: That's the way it's coming across as.

[kingkilla56]

Re: ODogg's Love Life Thread

Im with Aholbert on this one, but I can certainly understand the other side of the coin. Right now Im single but I certainly know where others are coming from about appropriate situations when you are in a relationship. I wouldnt go out to a bar for drinks or dinner and a movie with a girl friend if I had a girlfriend. Thats just a bomb waiting to blow. But if its lunch, coffee, shopping for a specific thing, I dont see the harm as long as you know the boundaries and know you and her will never cross it. The intimacy of the situation determines it's appropriate-ness.

[CaptainZombie]

Re: ODogg's Love Life Thread

Shes not preggers guys, period was just late....

This caps off my day.

LOL! This thread has turned from ODogg's Love Theatrics to aholbert's Dating While Still Having Lady Friends thread.

[areobee401]

Re: ODogg's Love Life Thread

Only way to get this thread back on track is for ODogg to start hanging out with other lady friends. Balls in your court ODogg.

[CaptainZombie]

Re: ODogg's Love Life Thread

Only way to get this thread back on track is for ODogg to start hanging out with other lady friends. Balls in your court ODogg.

Hell, I'm sitting here waiting for the next chapter in ODogg's love life......so Chapter 4 is over, she's not pregnant, what's next?

[areobee401]

Re: ODogg's Love Life Thread

Hell, I'm sitting here waiting for the next chapter in ODogg's love life......so Chapter 4 is over, she's not pregnant, what's next?

NCAA 12 is whats next.

[Scottdau]

Re: ODogg's Love Life Thread

Yep. Which is pretty interesting, because just a year ago he was asking advice for online dating sites. Now just look at our boy.