Relationship issue/advice needed

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  • Mabster
    Crunchy
    • Mar 2009
    • 7659

    #16
    Re: Relationship issue/advice needed

    Originally posted by kai123
    I know what you guys mean but I wanna wait it out a bit before I react. What I mean to say is that I really don't wanna lose this girl because she made me a better person.
    Some relationships are about growing and learning, sounds to me that this one has already served it's purpose. Take from it what you've gained and move on to the next as a better person.
    Oakland Athletics San Jose Sharks

    Comment

    • Fresh Tendrils
      Strike Hard and Fade Away
      • Jul 2002
      • 36131

      #17
      Re: Relationship issue/advice needed

      Sounds to me like she's setting you up to jump ship. Pull the George Costanza on her and do the pre-emptive break-up.



      Comment

      • snepp
        We'll waste him too.
        • Apr 2003
        • 10007

        #18
        Re: Relationship issue/advice needed

        Originally posted by Fresh Tendrils
        Pull the George Costanza on her and do the pre-emptive break-up.

        Not before getting a couple rounds of pre-breakup sex in first though.
        Member of The OS Baseball Rocket Scientists Association

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        • areobee401
          Hall Of Fame
          • Apr 2006
          • 16771

          #19
          Re: Relationship issue/advice needed

          I'll be honest with you and not sugar coat the situation. She dated this guy for 2 years and chances are he was her first. After two years of dating the same girl he most likely got bored and wanted to try something new. While all this was going on she met you.

          You were most likely the total opposite of everything he was and she thought that's what she wanted. At first everything was great , but the reality is she was never over him in the first place.

          So now he has stepped back into the picture and she "thinks she still has feelings for him". Truth is she does still have strong feelings for him. She never stopped having feelings for him.

          You were in a lose/lose situation from the get go bro.

          No one likes to hear that they were the rebound , but that is exactly what it sounds like to me. Your only 18 and I understand it hurts now. Do yourself a favor and follow jeremym480's advice. Your too young to be getting involved in a serious relationship anyway.
          http://twitter.com/smittyroberts

          Comment

          • EnigmaNemesis
            Animal Liberation
            • Apr 2006
            • 12216

            #20
            Re: Relationship issue/advice needed

            Originally posted by snepp
            Not before getting a couple rounds of pre-breakup sex in first though.
            And make sure it is in beast mode, so she will never forget, and always miss!

            Originally posted by areobee401
            I'll be honest with you and not sugar coat the situation. She dated this guy for 2 years and chances are he was her first. After two years of dating the same girl he most likely got bored and wanted to try something new. While all this was going on she met you.

            You were most likely the total opposite of everything he was and she thought that's what she wanted. At first everything was great , but the reality is she was never over him in the first place.

            So now he has stepped back into the picture and she "thinks she still has feelings for him". Truth is she does still have strong feelings for him. She never stopped having feelings for him.

            You were in a lose/lose situation from the get go bro.

            No one likes to hear that they were the rebound , but that is exactly what it sounds like to me. Your only 18 and I understand it hurts now. Do yourself a favor and follow jeremym480's advice. Your too young to be getting involved in a serious relationship anyway.
            This!
            Boston Red Sox | Miami Dolphins

            Comment

            • kai123
              Rookie
              • Feb 2007
              • 439

              #21
              Re: Relationship issue/advice needed

              I don't think I made it clear, they didn't date for 2 years. She liked him for 2 years and he did some messed up stuff to her(he took her v-card but not in the way you think he did a.k.a. he used his fingers) and said he was "sorry" then she took time off from him and met me. We started to talk and started to like each other and she wanted me to ask her out. And recently she explained to me the moment when it happened and everything. I liked the fact that she was being truthful about it.

              Anyways yesterday she called me and wanted to see if everything was good and today i texted her before her midterm and she seems ok, like everything feels normal again. I dunno if this is a placebo but I think she's still into me.

              Comment

              • EnigmaNemesis
                Animal Liberation
                • Apr 2006
                • 12216

                #22
                Re: Relationship issue/advice needed

                She is young, young girls have no clue what they want, they always flock to the *******s, even when warned, etc.

                It is the whole, swatting the hornets nest routine. (daddy issues)

                Is not till they are crapped on oh sayyyyyy 20+ times where they mature and want someone *gasp* "nice".
                Last edited by EnigmaNemesis; 10-07-2011, 04:10 PM.
                Boston Red Sox | Miami Dolphins

                Comment

                • NDAlum
                  ND
                  • Jun 2010
                  • 11453

                  #23
                  Re: Relationship issue/advice needed

                  Originally posted by NDAlum
                  We'll tell you to leave

                  You'll let her control you

                  We've all been there and learned

                  Just go ahead and find out the hard way!
                  Originally posted by kai123
                  I don't think I made it clear, they didn't date for 2 years. She liked him for 2 years and he did some messed up stuff to her(he took her v-card but not in the way you think he did a.k.a. he used his fingers) and said he was "sorry" then she took time off from him and met me. We started to talk and started to like each other and she wanted me to ask her out. And recently she explained to me the moment when it happened and everything. I liked the fact that she was being truthful about it.

                  Anyways yesterday she called me and wanted to see if everything was good and today i texted her before her midterm and she seems ok, like everything feels normal again. I dunno if this is a placebo but I think she's still into me.
                  Let us know when the inevitable happens
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                  Comment

                  • 8
                    MVP
                    • Mar 2010
                    • 2412

                    #24
                    Re: Relationship issue/advice needed

                    Originally posted by kai123
                    But my concern is that recently we've been getting into fights and just a few days back she told me this " I had a fight with my best friend(who is a guy) and it really hit me. Maybe I'm falling for him again, or maybe its false feelings we'll see."

                    The bolded part of your initial post is all you need to know. Don't try and kid yourself into thinking maybe she just said that because she was mad. It's been my experience that when people get angry the truth comes out. You are too young to be in a relationship with someone who has feelings for someone else. Give yourself some credit, it seems like you're a nice/caring guy so you will find someone else.
                    Battle.net: xXKING08Xx
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                    RAVENS/ORIOLES

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                    • kai123
                      Rookie
                      • Feb 2007
                      • 439

                      #25
                      Re: Relationship issue/advice needed

                      Ok so what you guys are saying is that there is no chance?

                      Comment

                      • Buckeyes_Doc
                        In Dalton I Trust
                        • Jan 2009
                        • 11918

                        #26
                        Re: Relationship issue/advice needed

                        Originally posted by kai123
                        Ok so what you guys are saying is that there is no chance?
                        There is a chance, but it's not looking good. I think it would be best for you to just move on.

                        This much drama after 2 months? Yeah I would run.
                        Ohio State - Reds - Bengals - Blackhawks - Bulls

                        Comment

                        • WDOgF0reL1fe
                          MVP
                          • Apr 2005
                          • 3427

                          #27
                          Re: Relationship issue/advice needed

                          Dude you're 18.
                          2 months in a relationship?
                          Cmon man it hasnt even STARTED yet, and you are already dealing with this?
                          Charger Fan Born and Raised!
                          Born in powder blue.

                          Follow me on Twitter yeah.
                          @WillSoistman
                          Dibs: Jennifer Aniston

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                          • kai123
                            Rookie
                            • Feb 2007
                            • 439

                            #28
                            Re: Relationship issue/advice needed

                            So yeah we broke up. In the end it was not about a guy, she used that as an excuse. It was really about her wanted to figure out her life and make sure she was on the right track. So she needed space and wanted to break up. I was ok with it because she was sincere about it. It would have been a different story if there was a guy involved.

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                            • the_future420
                              MVP
                              • Jul 2002
                              • 3086

                              #29
                              Originally posted by kai123
                              So yeah we broke up. In the end it was not about a guy, she used that as an excuse. It was really about her wanted to figure out her life and make sure she was on the right track. So she needed space and wanted to break up. I was ok with it because she was sincere about it. It would have been a different story if there was a guy involved.
                              Not to rain on your parade, but it was definitely about a guy. Specifically, this guy. Fortunately she has some consideration for your feelings and she also doesn't want to seem like a d*** ship jumper so she gave you the old "I need to get myself together, I need space" letdown. Thing is, chicks under 25 rarely take time to clear their heads and think about their life without having some sort of guy involved. They always have a backup dude, and won't completely jump ship until they are sure there's a life raft (the other guy) in the water.

                              At any rate, don't sweat it. You're young and in college. You should be having a good time enjoying being young and you should only think about settling down if you find a girl that is 100% committed to you with no issues. Most likely you won't find that for a few years.

                              Sent from my T-Mobile G2 using Tapatalk
                              PSN ID: thefuture420
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                              • WDOgF0reL1fe
                                MVP
                                • Apr 2005
                                • 3427

                                #30
                                Re: Relationship issue/advice needed

                                Know what I do in this case?
                                Step 1. Find her best friend (female)
                                Step 2. Nail her best friend.

                                Step 3. Laugh
                                Charger Fan Born and Raised!
                                Born in powder blue.

                                Follow me on Twitter yeah.
                                @WillSoistman
                                Dibs: Jennifer Aniston

                                "Success isn't earned, it's leased. Rent is due every damn day.

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