Bullying

[bigbob]

Re: Bullying

I was never bullied in high school, but like some I did have friends from every clique you could think of.

I however was not one of those kids that stood around and let someone else get bullied. There was a kid in my high school, he was about 6', 6'1" and weighed about 380-400lbs. He thought because of his size that he could boss around little kids, 7th, 8th and 9th graders. I had kids from all those grades come up to me and they'd come up to my girlfriend of the time and beg me to do something about him. I told them it would be alright, he was harmless, yada. They'd talk about how he'd throw them out of seats on the bus and claim it was his bus. They claimed he'd hit them and all that. Our school administration didn't really treat students equal. When people would tell on him, they'd say "he'd never do that" and all that bull ****. They also would never talk to someone who was bullying and just basically let him go.

One day I found out that he had threatened to rape an 8th grader, this girl being one of my close friends sisters, if she didn't have sex with him. I told him during lunch that if he didn't end all of his **** right that minute that he'd be seeing me at his truck after school. Well, again, he started his bullying. This time he started yelling in the halls that some kid raped this girl. This kid happened to be my best friend, whom was a senior as well. His ex, so that people didn't think she was a slut, went around and said that he raped her one night she was drunk. To keep that story short, my best friend was on probation for possession and getting into a fight with his dad and he had just a few more months before that was over.

At that point, I snapped. I gave him a little "cut throat" motion and told him after this class "you're done".

He was noticeably shaken because he never thought anyone would do anything to stop his bullying.

After that class, I walked out.. he walked out of the classroom directly in front of mine. He said "just let me go Bob, just let me go". I couldn't. He must have forgotten that the hundreds, and yes I do mean hundreds, of little kids he picked begged for him to quit and that didn't stop him. I figured I'd embarrass him a little, gave him a little slap across the face and told him to come on. At that point he yelled out "Come on Bob, hit me again. You're 18 and I'm still 17". ****. I had just turned 18 6-days before this happened. At that point I knew that I was going to get in the same amount of trouble whether I walked away or hit him again, so I did what any other high school senior would do that was fired up and ready to go. Came in with a left hook and followed it up with a right hook and watched him tumble 10-feet backwards into some lockers and onto his ***. At that point, I walked away. I believe I went right to the office so that they wouldn't have to waste their time coming to get me.

Needless to say, I never had another person come up to me and say that he was bullying them anymore.

Was it the best way to handle the situation? No. Was it the only way that he was going to stop his bullying? Unfortunately, yes.

[TheMatrix31]

Re: Bullying

It was absolutely the best way to handle it. Don't kid yourself or sell yourself short.

[55]

Re: Bullying

Violence damn sure isn't always the answer, but occasionally you just have to go upside somebody's head.

[12]

Re: Bullying

My mom always brags about me because while I was in school, she got three or four telephone calls from moms expressing their thanks for her son (me) sticking up for their sons when they were bullied.

That's who I was. To be honest, I was the popular jock who had a lot of friends, the girls liked me, and not many people had a bad word to say about me. I was also bigger than everyone else. I bullied the bullies. Not in a bad way, but if I saw it going on, I stopped it. Sometimes with words, and sometimes with me telling them that they could put their tough guy tactics to the test against me. It was nothing crazy, and I am not trying to brag by saying this. I just didn't stand for it. Some people can't stand up for themselves. It's easy to say, "well, they should stick up for themselves and stop it!" Some people can't. Some people can't deal.

I saw this first hand. I was a student at a school that kicked off a series of school shootings in our country. A teacher and two students died. It was later found out that the shooter was cruelly bullied by his classmates. It was bad, but everyone just wanted to talk about the victims - which is not wrong, but no one wanted to look at the source of the problem. This kid was... Well, the level of bullying going on with him, if true, would have sent any kid over the edge. I'll leave it at that.

It can have devastating effects and like I said, some people can't deal. If you have the means to stop it or slow it down, do it. Don't hesitate. In turn, that sometimes give the person being bullied a bit of a confidence boost as well.

Bullying is one of the worst things a person can do. It goes on all of the time, and as jeremy said, it doesn't stop in school. It often trickles into the workplace as well. If you're in a place to address it, then do it. I always found that no one ever put me down or made fun of me for standing up to these punks. I'll instill in my sons how important it is to treat everyone with respect.

If you're not a part of the solution, you're part of the problem. Maybe sticking up for him is his ticket to gaining some self-confidence and he can begin to address the issues on his own.

[12]

Re: Bullying

I never got bullied, and I had friends across many different cliques. HS should be fun, it's the most carefree time in your life, where you are old enough to enjoy it. There's no reason for bullying, and social networking has just made the bullying easier and that much more brutal.

There's no place for it imo, I've been donating to one of the local anti-bullying campaigns around here, and volunteering my time. Unfortunately I don't think there's a silver bullet out there to solve the problem, and I think a lot of it stems from plain old bad parenting, and lack of discipline.

Absolutely.

I'll say terrible parenting and a total disregard for others. That starts in the home with mom and dad. I think that if serious bullying is going on, the situation and parenting at home should be addressed on some level. This isn't always the case, as some kids will be bullies in spite of the fact that the come from solid homes. But, more often than not, I've found that the biggest culprits in bullying have had the worst parents.

[bigbob]

Re: Bullying

It was absolutely the best way to handle it. Don't kid yourself or sell yourself short.

I just don't like to go around "Oh yeah, I kicked this kids *** in high school" because I wasn't that guy. I mean, you could look at me and assume that I was. I was 6'4", 320lbs, starting defensive tackle for the football team. I was one of those "big teddy bears" off the football field, taking kids "under my wing" so to speak. There was a kid that always sat by himself at lunch, he was like a grade under me. He always looked scared, would stand in a corner and wait for everyone to go to class and be late just so he wouldn't have to be in the big crowds etc. One day I walked over to him, invited him to sit with me and all the football players (and soccer players, but hey, did they really matter lol, jk). After that, he opened up a lot more. It took a few weeks but some of us finally got to hear him talk.

I'm just one of those people that if you're going to pick on someone and mess with them.. make sure they're your damn size. Don't pick on defenseless kids that have no idea what to do because you're 4-5 times their size.

Violence damn sure isn't always the answer, but occasionally you just have to go upside somebody's head.

It's not, but like you said, sometimes you have to go upside somebody's head. Whenever your school administration blows it off like it's no big deal, someone has to take charge.

It was just unfortunate what I had to go through after the whole ordeal. Suspension for a week, court etc. but what made me feel good was knowing he wasn't messing with those kids anymore.

[Colts18]

Re: Bullying

They'd talk about how he'd throw them out of seats on the bus and claim it was his bus.
At that point, I snapped. I gave him a little "cut throat" motion and told him after this class "you're done".

He was noticeably shaken because he never thought anyone would do anything to stop his bullying.

At that point he yelled out "Come on Bob, hit me again. You're 18 and I'm still 17". ****. I had just turned 18 6-days before this happened.

Funny quotes from that story. Good stuff though. I don't feel bad one bit for what you did to him.

I honestly feel like we are quick to call any little thing bullying. Along with swag this word get abused by the media so much. Kids playing/joking around is not bullying. I don't know maybe I am just from a different time era. I just think as a whole we are becoming a soft nation. Don't take that as me saying that people should be allowed to do whatever they want to someone else's child but part of growing up is going through tough situations. Today it seems like we shield our kids from too many things.

[Lieutenant Dan]

Re: Bullying

Wow, great thread. And sadly relevant in this day and age, especially with the crap that goes on Facebook and carries over into school.

I was always a big guy, I was a 6' freshman, just over 200lbs with a big frame. Football lineman thru jr high and high school. I'm also gentle, funny, and a 'teddy bear' type. I never really got bullied, and was friends with nearly everyone in every clique. I was cognizant even at that time (1980's) that going thru high school without social drama was awesome, because I saw drama all around me.

One time coming back from lunch when I was jr with my best friend, and my friend had really pissed me off and hurt my feelings. He was still kind of rubbing some salt in as we parked his car and marched up to the school building, and I was in full, shaking boil.

So, this moron underclassman kid decided to throw a few walnuts HARD at me. He hit me square with one and laughed his *** off and pointed at me. Without breaking stride, I walked right up to this kid, grabbed him by his coat and lifted him two feet off the ground and slammed his back up to the lockers behind him. His eyes were as big as donuts and I just growled "I'm going to ****ing kill you".

My best friend was all "Whoa!!! Whoa!! Let him go! It's not worth it! What's wrong with you??" So I slowly set the kid down, boring my death-glare into his eyes, then turned and walked straight to the counselors office (I had a great counselor who was also my Spanish teacher, and I trusted her). I told her everything that happened and she calmed me down. I got in no trouble over anything (I didn't technically do anything wrong), I spoke to my best friend after school about why I was upset and he apologized profusely and didn't realize how upset he got me in the first place.

I kinda doubt that underclassman threw crap at people any more after that, too. LOL

Surprisingly, I never really was bullied.

Only one dude ever tried. He was a freshman (I was a junior at this time) who apparently thought high school was what you see on TV shows. So, trying to make a name for himself or something, he decided he wanted my chair at lunch (despite the fact that there were plenty others). So he walks up, tries to yank the chair out from under me, but I hold onto it and remain in the chair. So he just starts dragging the chair (with me in it) around the lunchroom trying to fling me off (all the while, I'm yelling "WHEEEEEE!!!! FASTER!"). After like 20 seconds of that some senior that I'd never met or talked to walked up to him, said "Stop. We don't do that here." and then sure enough, he stopped and I went back to my lunch.

It was hilarious.

Again, I'm not given to violence and have a long fuse. BUT, if some idiot underclassman had pulled that crap on me, I would have first been surprised and said 'What the hell are you doing?' And if he persisted, he would have got laid out. Why would an underclassman poke the 6' bear?? You handled it better than I would, in this case!

I never got bullied, and I had friends across many different cliques. HS should be fun, it's the most carefree time in your life, where you are old enough to enjoy it. There's no reason for bullying, and social networking has just made the bullying easier and that much more brutal.

There's no place for it imo, I've been donating to one of the local anti-bullying campaigns around here, and volunteering my time. Unfortunately I don't think there's a silver bullet out there to solve the problem, and I think a lot of it stems from plain old bad parenting, and lack of discipline.

Very true. And you have to add that some people are just *******s by birth or by choice, regardless of how they are raised.

I think you are making a mountain out of a mole hill here. So some people are whispering behind his back, big deal. I wouldn't call that bullying. it shouldn't even bother him unless he is uncomfortable in his own skin... but that is something he needs to work out for himself.

However, if he wants them to stop, he should just stand up in class while they are doing it and ask them out loud if they have a problem with him. 9 times out of 10 they will be embarrassed and shut up.

Finn speaks the truth and what I was thinking thru the whole thread in regards to the original post.

I was never bullied in high school, but like some I did have friends from every clique you could think of.

I however was not one of those kids that stood around and let someone else get bullied. There was a kid in my high school, he was about 6', 6'1" and weighed about 380-400lbs. He thought because of his size that he could boss around little kids, 7th, 8th and 9th graders. I had kids from all those grades come up to me and they'd come up to my girlfriend of the time and beg me to do something about him. I told them it would be alright, he was harmless, yada. They'd talk about how he'd throw them out of seats on the bus and claim it was his bus. They claimed he'd hit them and all that. Our school administration didn't really treat students equal. When people would tell on him, they'd say "he'd never do that" and all that bull ****. They also would never talk to someone who was bullying and just basically let him go.

One day I found out that he had threatened to rape an 8th grader, this girl being one of my close friends sisters, if she didn't have sex with him. I told him during lunch that if he didn't end all of his **** right that minute that he'd be seeing me at his truck after school. Well, again, he started his bullying. This time he started yelling in the halls that some kid raped this girl. This kid happened to be my best friend, whom was a senior as well. His ex, so that people didn't think she was a slut, went around and said that he raped her one night she was drunk. To keep that story short, my best friend was on probation for possession and getting into a fight with his dad and he had just a few more months before that was over.

At that point, I snapped. I gave him a little "cut throat" motion and told him after this class "you're done".

He was noticeably shaken because he never thought anyone would do anything to stop his bullying.

After that class, I walked out.. he walked out of the classroom directly in front of mine. He said "just let me go Bob, just let me go". I couldn't. He must have forgotten that the hundreds, and yes I do mean hundreds, of little kids he picked begged for him to quit and that didn't stop him. I figured I'd embarrass him a little, gave him a little slap across the face and told him to come on. At that point he yelled out "Come on Bob, hit me again. You're 18 and I'm still 17". ****. I had just turned 18 6-days before this happened. At that point I knew that I was going to get in the same amount of trouble whether I walked away or hit him again, so I did what any other high school senior would do that was fired up and ready to go. Came in with a left hook and followed it up with a right hook and watched him tumble 10-feet backwards into some lockers and onto his ***. At that point, I walked away. I believe I went right to the office so that they wouldn't have to waste their time coming to get me.

Needless to say, I never had another person come up to me and say that he was bullying them anymore.

Was it the best way to handle the situation? No. Was it the only way that he was going to stop his bullying? Unfortunately, yes.

This guys sounds like he has/had an inevitable rendezvous with a jail cell or death. You did the right thing in this case. He wasn't just a bully, he was piece of crap rapist (strongly alledged, anyway).

I actually admire your restraint. I likely would have ghetto-kicked him after he went down at least a few times.

[ABR173rd]

Re: Bullying

It kinda of blows me away this happens on a college campus, there were plenty of kids that were openly gay when I was in high school and it wasn't really a big deal.

My best advice would be to let him fight his own battles, I mean you guys are in college not high school nor middle school. Regardless of being gay or not some people will have something to say (behind your back) regardless of the venue. I would suggest to him to approach some of these kids/adults before or after class (Professionally) and ask them whats going on.

In my experience this will usually solve the problem without getting into more serious trouble by confronting someone with a bunch of guys and trying to work things out.