...that you find to be incredibly nice AND attractive because you're in a happy and committed relationship...BEFORE it gets to a point where they blatantly ask you out?
I work in a very public place running a friend of mine's business. Today, this girl keeps coming by to hang around with me and she's flirting, big time ("I just told my friend that there's this really great guy I met..." etc). Keep in mind, my work is VERY slow, so it's not like I can pretend I have work to do. I only work when I have customers.
Okay...for one, and just to be clear, I actually do kind of like the attention. I mean what man wouldn't? I'm bored here and she seems really nice...
But because it's a really public place, and because I'm in a happy and committed relationship with the love of my life, I think I really need to nip this in the bud before she decides to drop by often. Or get the wrong impression about my intentions by talking with her, or *gulp* for her to come by when my GF is visiting me!
The same thing happened to me a couple years back with a different girl, and I handled it HORRIBLY. It got to a point where I started to lead this girl on. I finally had to tell her that it was unfair to my GF for her to compliment me in such a manner...that I was starting to feel uncomfortable (which didn't deter her)...and then FINALLY had to tell her that if she didn't stop, she was going to get me in trouble (remember, public place) and that I wanted her to either drop it or leave me alone!
But the worst part was that even though I knew it was coming, I let it escalate!
I messed up there and only let it drag on because (A) as a man, being flirted with by smoking hot girls feels good and (B) even though she made me nervous, I didn't know exactly how to tell her to leave me alone when it started to become clear what her intentions might be (probably thanks to 'A' LOL!) I promised myself I could never let that happen again because honestly, it stressed me out and TOTALLY isn't fair to my GF.
This girl today has been by twice already and for no other reason than to get to know me. My GF and I have boundaries in place; I would NEVER cheat on her, and though friendly talk is okay, I can easily see where this is heading if/when she decides to stop back.
During her second visit, I intentionally deflected her compliments of me into other subjects hoping she would get the hint; to the point to where I deflected her SO MUCH she actually pulled out her phone to show me a text she sent to her friend about me! But even when I changed the subject, I was still being sweet and making her laugh so I clearly didn't accomplish anything. Now I'm afraid I need to be more point-blank unless I want the stuff to snowball.
I'm taken and would like to keep it that way.
But man, is it hard hard to turn a pretty girl's attention down!!!
What do you those of you that are in relationships say when you need to shoot somebody down? And, am I a jerk-off when it's only an issue for me when the girl is gorgeous?
I work in a very public place running a friend of mine's business. Today, this girl keeps coming by to hang around with me and she's flirting, big time ("I just told my friend that there's this really great guy I met..." etc). Keep in mind, my work is VERY slow, so it's not like I can pretend I have work to do. I only work when I have customers.
Okay...for one, and just to be clear, I actually do kind of like the attention. I mean what man wouldn't? I'm bored here and she seems really nice...
But because it's a really public place, and because I'm in a happy and committed relationship with the love of my life, I think I really need to nip this in the bud before she decides to drop by often. Or get the wrong impression about my intentions by talking with her, or *gulp* for her to come by when my GF is visiting me!
The same thing happened to me a couple years back with a different girl, and I handled it HORRIBLY. It got to a point where I started to lead this girl on. I finally had to tell her that it was unfair to my GF for her to compliment me in such a manner...that I was starting to feel uncomfortable (which didn't deter her)...and then FINALLY had to tell her that if she didn't stop, she was going to get me in trouble (remember, public place) and that I wanted her to either drop it or leave me alone!
But the worst part was that even though I knew it was coming, I let it escalate!
I messed up there and only let it drag on because (A) as a man, being flirted with by smoking hot girls feels good and (B) even though she made me nervous, I didn't know exactly how to tell her to leave me alone when it started to become clear what her intentions might be (probably thanks to 'A' LOL!) I promised myself I could never let that happen again because honestly, it stressed me out and TOTALLY isn't fair to my GF.
This girl today has been by twice already and for no other reason than to get to know me. My GF and I have boundaries in place; I would NEVER cheat on her, and though friendly talk is okay, I can easily see where this is heading if/when she decides to stop back.
During her second visit, I intentionally deflected her compliments of me into other subjects hoping she would get the hint; to the point to where I deflected her SO MUCH she actually pulled out her phone to show me a text she sent to her friend about me! But even when I changed the subject, I was still being sweet and making her laugh so I clearly didn't accomplish anything. Now I'm afraid I need to be more point-blank unless I want the stuff to snowball.
I'm taken and would like to keep it that way.
But man, is it hard hard to turn a pretty girl's attention down!!!What do you those of you that are in relationships say when you need to shoot somebody down? And, am I a jerk-off when it's only an issue for me when the girl is gorgeous?
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